i think want to become a pro wrestler

[victoria978]

I'd love to be in the WWE, but alas, I'm a bit too old (38, but a young 38!). By sheer coincidence, I was at the Rush gym today and saw these four large-ish guys in the gym (it's a weenie public gym normally). I strike up a conversation with one of these guys and I'll be damned if it's not "Edge" from WWE! They are doing a "show" (they called it that) tonight in Knoxville -- go figure. Funny thing is, I'm about his size. Even though i'm not hairy by any standard, I'd still need to wax or laser a bit tho. I'd need to cut-up a tad too, but no more than I've been before.

Now here's my idea... I want to be "The Corporate Raider". I'll come into the ring in a tear-away business suit. I'll have glasses, a briefcase, the power tie, and a proper pocket square. Then BOOM! I rip off my suit in one fell swoop. My manager will be some hottie blonde who will double as my "Administrative Assistant". I'll declare myself "The CEO of Pain" and when the referee isn't looking, my AA will slide my briefcase under the ropes and I'll beat the hell out of my opponents with it. Then, I'll slide it back out to her and pin my opponent.

My trademark move will be "The Hostile Takeover" and I'll use it to pin/submit my foes. Also, before and after matches I'll do monologues on how I'm going to take over the WWE -- or companies that the audiance works for. Then, I'll preach about downsizing them all and increasing profits. I'll say things like "some of you will have to be fired to pay for my new Ferrari since the ashtrays are full in the one I have now." I'll talk about the "minions" and about all the "shlitz-drinking blue collar trash that's not even fit to wax my shoes or clean my gold-plated toilets".

Holy shit I'd be the *ultimate* bad guy. Kinda ironic too, seeing how I was a CEO and sold my company a few years ago and retired. I could play the part! I was nice back then and am now, but I can clearly see how the "dark side" of business works. All I'd have to do is embellish and exaggerate it a little bit.

I'll be your AA! Me!Me! Pick me! I want into WWE pretty bad. Check my gallery.

 

[biteme]

Remember Ice Man King Parsons? He used to work out at my high school gym. I was stronger than him back then. He's just a big, chunky guy.

 

[pitbullstl]

golddust ain't old wrastlin maing. old wrastlin is Ricky the Steamboat Dragon swallowing his tongue and choking after being hit by a chair and me believing it.

True....or Jimmy The Super Fly Snuka.



Leaping Lanny Pafo.......the dude with the frisbees and the poems.


But the best was good ol' JYD. Junk Yard Dog.

 

[Becoming]

Please just don't be on that crappy TNT show on spike....

Smackdown is teh suck lately. Too many shitty characters.

 

[Smurfy]

True....or Jimmy The Super Fly Snuka.



Leaping Lanny Pafo.......the dude with the frisbees and the poems.


But the best was good ol' JYD. Junk Yard Dog.

Off the top turnbuckle!!!!!

 

[mrplunkey]

I'll be your AA! Me!Me! Pick me! I want into WWE pretty bad. Check my gallery.

I've seen your gallery before and yes, you'd be the *perfect* AA for "The Corporate Raider". Those gallery pictures are nothing short of amazing.

Let's see...

1) Get all swole up on roids: Check! I can do that

2) Secure gorgeous AA: Check! Done

3) Learn professional wrestling techniques: Hmmm... I probably could do that, but those guys are more atheletic and robust than people give them credit for.

4) Find someone in the wrestling business: Hmmm... you'd clearly have to know someone. I'd have to snoop around some.

Looks like the stars are lining up!