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I played golf today for the first time ever.

Egotism is funny!


But for real yo, here's the story.


My fiance Josh takes me to a golf course he's played many times with his dad. Even before we get to hole 1 we get bitched at because we're planning to "play out of the same bag" which is apparently "contrary to the spirit of the game". WTF? Backtrack to the country club to rent a bag of crappy clubs.

Hole 1: Josh whacks the ball way far. Great, my turn

Address the ball, straighten your arm, bend your knee, open your stance.
Dude, shut up. Damn, I can hit the ball.
Ok, alright. Go ahead.
Whoooosh! Cant even see where my went. Oh snap, what's up now Mr. Golf Pro! LoL.
Hey
Honey
What?
(points)
My ball is still on the tee.
My skin tone doesnt show embarrassment readily so I successful play this off.
Alright, I'm about to blast this fucking ball
WHOOOSH!
Still on the tee.
Honey, you gotta....
Please just let me hit the ball, ok?
Ok, but you have to hurry, there are people behind us.
This time I kinda squat down a little to make sure I finally at least hit this fucking little bastard.
Whooosh.....I catch a quick glimpse of the ball fly away from me in a cascade of grass.
Ok, thank God! At least I finally--The ball is about 9 inches in front of me.
I had hit the tee out from under the ball along with two fistfulls of grass.
Now my entire face and ears are burning with bright hot embarrassment.
Josh, and two dumpy late middle aged men behind us are chuckling in bemusement.
I give him a look that says if you ever want to have sex with me again as long as you live you will shut up right now and set up another tee.
Josh sets up the ball on a new tee.
Fuck this. Even if I have to putt this goddamn ball down the fairway this is the last time I try this tee shot.
I stare at the ball and bring the club back only as high as my shoulder and manage to hit it maybe a quarter as far as Josh did.
But by God I hit it.

My score for 9 holes: 87.
 
If you give me karma I'll forget you made this post.
 
Get tanked?

My first time we were next to a horse ranch. Everytime we loked that way ther was horses humpin with 15" dongs.
 
:lmao:

That sounds like how I would play golf! I imagine it would be fun but it seems like one of those things my dad would lovingly say "Umm...Raina, I've never seen anyone suck at anything as much as you suck at this". lol That's what he says about my ping pong skills.
 
I LOVEEEEEEEEE golf
i suck at it tho
the first time we played i was hitting the ball in the trees and everywhere.....i was getting soooooooo frustrated with myself
and i hit a 103 for 18 holes
and the second time we went......i did pretty danged good.....hit the ball far and straight......i was proud of myself
got a 90 for 18 then
still sucked but i was alot better
yayyyyyyyy RW
 
SoKlueles said:
I LOVEEEEEEEEE golf
i suck at it tho
the first time we played i was hitting the ball in the trees and everywhere.....i was getting soooooooo frustrated with myself
and i hit a 103 for 18 holes
and the second time we went......i did pretty danged good.....hit the ball far and straight......i was proud of myself
got a 90 for 18 then
still sucked but i was alot better
yayyyyyyyy RW


The second time you played golf, you scored a 90? How many friggin mulligans and gimmes? How many times did hammy just say "pick up the ball"?

I'm sorry I have to call the bullshiat flag on that scorecard.
 
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