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probably could've gotten laid tonite. I just don't feel a strong attraction to the girl. I know her a little bit, we've hung out before, it's not like it would have been random sex. She's pretty, and I thought about it for a minute or so, but I just didn't want to in the end. She wanted me to go out but I just felt like staying in. Call me crazy, but I'm not the type of guy to screw just because the opportunity presents itself. I have to feel a strong attraction to the girl. I'm in college and have never had a one night stand; I like going out but I never make any effort to pick up chicks from a bar. I rarely feel completely free and uninhibited. I'll talk to them but won't hit on em. I get kinda turned off when I hear of girls having random hookups and random meaningless sex. If I ever get married it won't be to a young girl, ie under 30. Is anyone else like that? I almost feel like I am sexually repressed in a way. I didn't have a happy teenage life like most kids do. I had bad ocd and depression and basically got lectured everytime I brought up girls when I was living at home.
Antidepressants were a gift back then, even though they probably hurt my libido. I'm sure my conservative behavior towards girls is a reflection of all that. There are only a very select few girls that I will actually go out of my way to "pursue", (get their number, etc). I feel like I have to get to know the chick before anything happens, unless she makes the first move. Maybe I'm just too passive, but that's the way I feel.
Waiting for and finding the right time to leak some details about my past is hard to do with a new girl who asks about it, especially when it's not all happy. No one likes a buzzkill. There's also a possibility I'm taking things too seriously and need to lighten up a bit.
I need to go to bed, goodnight.
Antidepressants were a gift back then, even though they probably hurt my libido. I'm sure my conservative behavior towards girls is a reflection of all that. There are only a very select few girls that I will actually go out of my way to "pursue", (get their number, etc). I feel like I have to get to know the chick before anything happens, unless she makes the first move. Maybe I'm just too passive, but that's the way I feel.
Waiting for and finding the right time to leak some details about my past is hard to do with a new girl who asks about it, especially when it's not all happy. No one likes a buzzkill. There's also a possibility I'm taking things too seriously and need to lighten up a bit.
I need to go to bed, goodnight.
