I need some help please :)

[lauren11]

Hi there! I am 20 years old and I am needing a little help getting back on track physically, mentally, and emotionally. I have been working out for almost 2 years now and I really enjoy it, it is what my career is going to be. I am going to give ya'll a little background info and then ask my questions. Last year I lost about 40 pounds, but I didn't do it right, I didn't eat and worked out all the time, but I lost the weight and that is what I wanted. Well, I hit a lot of roadblocks with friends, family, and myself and it is continuing to slowly kill me. I sunk into a deep depression and I am having the hardest time EVER to get myself out of it. I am currently on Effexor XR and I do see my pastor weekly, but I had knee surgery in February, so it has been more irregular than reglular. I am hoping to find an approach so I dont have to pop a pill everyday. My boyfriend really loves getting on here and I have started to read things and I decided that I was ready to "throw myself out here" and see if ya'll had any positive support or information to help me gain knowledge and confidence as well. I grew up in a very mentally abusive family, as well as emotional, physical and spiritually abusive, but mainly mental abuse. I didn't relaize until I started dating my boyfriend (who is also a user of elite fitness) and becoming best friends as well as lovers (for the past 2 years) with him and being very close to his family that the family situation I was in was not good AT ALL. I grew up being a robot-doing everything for everyone else and not caring ONE BIT for myself or what I wanted for me. I programmed myself to what my father wanted and that is NOT what I wanted, but I did it because he always said honor me and respect me no matter if it hurts you. Well, when I moved to college and learned that none of my friends had parents like this and I was up the creek without a paddle, I started by switching my major to what I wanted instead of what my father enrolled me in and then I started working out with bowlingforsoup (my boyfriend) and I was seeing positive results, but I was still a stupid, ugly, fat bitch in my fathers eyes. That is how I wake up almost everyday and the condemnation has beaten me down so far. I have realized here recently, that if I want to grow as an individual, which I really do and if I want to marry bowlingforsoup (which we plan on doing, we have discussed it), then I have to get myself in gear to doing the right healthy things for me, NOT for my father, unless I plan on making me and everyone around me miserable and I DONT want to do that-I am not that kind of girl. So, here are my questions, this time around on the losing weight thing, I want to do it right, I want to find a great workout for me with correct sets and reps to help me lose all the weight I gained back from last year (40 pounds plus some) and decrease my waist, butt and hips. I want to eat right, not eating at all is a bad thing and all it did was reverse me into becoming an obsessive eater and that is bad too. I want to be able to find a diet that is good for me with not a lot of weird foods and be healthy. I am really ready to turn my lifestyle around, to be a happy, healthy person, inside and out. I pray that God will help me with this, but recently, I think I needed a little more support from real people, I feel that it may be more motivating, not only getting information from my boyfriend, but also ya'll. If ya'll want to know more, just PM me, but in the meantime, I thank in advance everyone who reads this. I am sorry that I dumped out everything, but I just want to get back to what I used to be and this seemed to be a good place to start. Like I said before bowlingforsoup loves it on here and I would love to get to know ya'll too. Have a great day and I really appreciate just getting to put this up here.

 

[JJFigure]

Wow! That's a lot to take in.

First of all, welcome to the boards! Hopefully, you'll find some of the answers you're looking for.

As far as a sound diet plan, do a search on Spatt's cutting diet. This is a great example of a clean diet you can live with.

On the workout side, what do you have access to for equipment? Do you belong to a gym or do you train at home? If you belong to a gym, do you weight train, or do you just do cardio?

 

[newgirl-chargeback]

Okay...firstly welcome Lauren11.

Secondly how brave of you to throw yourself out there and put personal info up there for the masses.

Thirdly, now take the past -- as horrible as it is, and put it aside. Since you are smart enough to know that you need to make changes, you are indeed smart enough and strong enough now to know that these things may have shaped your life in the past, but the only person responsible for YOU and WHO you are today is: YOU. You have the power to take your past and make it that -- the past. Don't allow yourself to ever fall back on what happened then.....I tell you this from experience. If you allow the past to stay in your present, those hurtful people and experiences - WIN -- and continue to control and take ownership of your life. Don't let it happen.

Phew.....sorry.

Okay...JJ referred to Spatts cutting diet. Which is a great diet and has been proven to work for alot of folks.

You may wish to start making smaller changes. A "little-at-a-time" changes will add up in the short term. Making smaller more managebale changes and choices is just less overwhelming. I call them adjustments. When you are over one "adjustment" and it becomes habit, then on to the next...and so forth.

Start by making sure you eat 5-6 times a day and have protein at each and every meal. If that means since you do not like eggs, then have chicken for breakfast. Who said it is not a breakfast food?

Allow yourself one meal a week to cheat..have what you want. It is a reward for good work but equally makes being on a disciplined program less monotenous.

Don't beat yourself up when you have had a slipup in the healthy eating department. This is a process and a lifelong change. And, you will find what works for you ...what doesn't and what you can change without making it your entire life -- what you cannot. It is all trial and error.

Fitday.com has a good food calculator -- and you can get a good sense of what each food is comprised of in terms of proteins/fats/carbs.

Since you mentioned that you used to workout -- I guess you already know those basics. How many days a week do you plan on lifting? How much cardio?

Take it slow and good luck to you..........

 

[newgirl-chargeback]

Oh, and do a search for threads or posts in this forum from FitFossil -- she is someone who has some good advice and shares alot of her story.

I find her words to be most encouraging and supportive.

 

[Sassy69]

Hey girl! Welcome aboard! You've gotten the best info so far that you can get on this board. There's lots of information & support here so ask away & post away! I think we all have some story about how we've finally figured out that we have to take care of ourselves before we can worry about what other people want or expect from us. Part of that is taking care of your health, well, actually that's the core of it all. Sounds like you are well on your way in the right direction and have a great support team! I hope you will find some more team members here!

 

[Puddles]

Once you start taking care of your physical needs, you'll feel better and the mental state will start to follow and improve and everything will fall into place. Having a good partner really helps! Glad to see you here...the women's board is absolutely the best place for you to start!

 

[lauren11]

Thank you all so much!! I really appreciate everything that you all told me. I do have access to a gym and I usually try to do cardio and weights at least 5 times a week, but I have, like I said, here lately been lacking. I have allowed so many peoples problems try to become mine and it brings me down and I walk around this world all scared and I know that my boyfriend (bowlingforsoup) gets tired of this, I am actually starting to get tired of it myself. I have gotten better, but it isnt fast enough for either one of us, you know? But, I know I will get there. Even yesterday when I worked out, it was probably the best workout I have had in a long time and I attribute a lot of it to the support bowlingforsoup constantly gives me, but also being able to talk on here. I just want to find a good, fun workout. I have taken fat burners before, but I was wondering about those too. I am going to try and find spatts cutting diet, but I wasnt exactly sure where to look. I would have responded sooner, but our internet here at school is very slow and it wouldnt come up last night. I hope that ya'll are having a great day and hopefully I can talk to ya'll later in the day. Thanks again-I appreciate the warm welcome, I dont have a lot of friends and I already feel like I have made a few-thank you. Take care.

 

[JJFigure]

Here's the link to Spatt's cutting diet:

http://www.asylum-strength.com/spat-cutting.htm

 

[JJFigure]

Here's the link to Spatt's cutting diet:

http://www.asylum-strength.com/spat-cutting.htm

 

[lauren11]

Thank you for sending me spatts cutting diet. That will take a lot of dedication and motivation. I am not used to eating more than probably 1200-1500 a day, here of late that is. I will try it after next pay day when I can go to the store. I am trying to come up with a good workout, but we will see. I have been really busy this week and haven't had as much time as I would like to read up on here, but I have done some. Thanks again. Hope to keep talking to ya'll. Have a great day!

 

[spatts]

Um...that's a carb rotation diet, and yours wouldn't be the same unless you are also at about 140 pounds LBM. Adjust it for yourself...I'll help you with that if you need it.

 

[FitFossil]

Welcome! I have found this bodybuilding lifestyle to be very therapeutic - for the body, mind, and soul.

I'm not a bodybuilder or fitness competitor, but I enjoy these boards because there is so much knowledge and support. I train to make my body the best athlete it can be. That's what that saying at the bottom of my post "Stronger Faster Better" is about - it's what I think about when I train. Never think of yourself as a "dieter" or any other negative word, but rather think of yourself as an "athlete in training" - it's a more positive focus.

Something else I recommend is keeping a training log. It's really been my secret weapon. I admit I felt a little silly bringing it to the gym, because most people didn't use one. After time passed though, I began to notice my body changing while others stayed the same, and this has been going on a few years now ! I like the training log for several reasons:

1) Saves time because you don't have to guess what weight you used last time.

2) It pushes me to try harder - for each exercise I record the weight and reps I did. Then when I'm writing up my new workout, I'll note how many reps I got the last time at that weight, so I'll try to beat it the next time.

3) If I start thinking about blowing off training, I think of the trouble I took to write up that workout plan and how guilty I'll feel having to leave blanks by every exercise.

4) It's great fun to go back several months and see how much progress you've made

Here's an interesting site about training you might want to check out: http://www.stumptuous.com/weights.html

 

[lauren11]

Spatts-Thank you very much for clarifying that for me-sometimes I get mixed up. Sure, I would love for you to help me with an eating plan. I hate the word diet. Maybe this will help change my eating lifestyle-we will see.


FitFossil-Thank you so much for your words of wisdom. I feel the same way-I really am not aiming to be a bodybuilder or fitness competitor, I just want to be the best possible athlete I can for ME. This is really hard, but I really want to do it this time. The two times I have gone to the gym this week, they have been more productive than they have in months, so getting on here and hearing what people have to say has helped a lot. I hope to learn more.

Thank you both again-I really appreciate it! Have a great night.

 

[spatts]

Maybe this will help change my eating lifestyle-we will see.

Maybe? Just decide that it WILL and go from there. If you think you can, or think you can't...you're right.

 

[lauren11]

Thank you again to everyone that has helped me out. I have had a busy weekend, sorry I have not had time to talk to anyone. I will PM ya'll if I have any further questions. I hope everyones holiday was good! Take care!!