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I need help, please

PaganPunkstress

PaganPunkstress

New member
Hi everyone im so depressed right now,in tears.
I dont know what to do.
me and my boyfriend were having a talk when I told him of a thing I had gotten into before I even met him and got with him.
It was about one of my ex-best friends and her boyfriend.
where she wanted me to make out with her and her boyfriend.
He got so jealous that he started to choke me and punched me in the side of my ribs.
He told me that since I did that that he was going to have to do it himself.
That he was going to find some girl and I was just going to sit back and watch him make out with her. And that I was going to have to put up with it.
He said he didnt want some other guy to do something that he did with me that the only way he would get over it is if he did that with me himself.
I cant stop crying because of everything, I dont know why it even matters to him this was way before I even got with him or even met him. And I cant just leave him cause I have 3 kids 2 are some other guys and 1 is his and she is only a year old.
My first 2 kids already call him daddy and everything.
He stormed out of the house and even stole my eighty dollars from my wallet. Im so confused out of my mind, im so tired of this shit and drama, it makes me depressed to the point of wanting to just kill myself.
Im such a loyal person to him and always by his side. I cant stand this
 
don't do that u have children to think about hun.

No man is worth that.

He is speaking out of anger..

#1 Are you physically ok?
 
I am ok besides having red marks on my neck im fine.
Im just so tired of being pushed around by these assholes.
I already know how he is, he is super competetive.
He always means what he says, thats what gets me so down.
I dont know what to do.
 
has he hit u before?

Are you afraid of him?

If it's a pattern.. maybe it's better not to have him in your life
 
If he is an asshole and doesn't treat you right.. you shouldn't be with him..

I realize there are kids involved.. but in th elong run.. it won't be good for you or the kids..

I'm not speaking outta my as.. I have been in a relationship where there was violence.. and it didn't get better
 
You need to remove yourself from that situation. Instead of being loyal to him, you need to be loyal to yourself and your children first.
 
He has hit me like 3 or 4 times at the most in the 2 years we have been together.
Besides that he is a good dad and we normally do everything together,
he never goes out or drinks or anything.
Ive also been in a abusive relationship before this one with my first two kids dad.
This guy only hits me when he gets really mad or jealous.
He keeps telling me that Im gonna have to do that with him, watch him kiss some other chick and hes crazy cause im not.
 
PaganPunkstress said:
He has hit me like 3 or 4 times at the most in the 2 years we have been together.
Besides that he is a good dad and we normally do everything together,
he never goes out or drinks or anything.
Ive also been in a abusive relationship before this one with my first two kids dad.
This guy only hits me when he gets really mad or jealous.
He keeps telling me that Im gonna have to do that with him, watch him kiss some other chick and hes crazy cause im not.
Click to expand...

No excuse darlin... He hits you and neither you nor your kids (no matter how good a dad you think he is) should be subjected to this.

Is one of your children a little girl...? If so.. ask yourself this! Had she come to you with this same thing happening to her what would you tell her?

You should not be anyones punching bag because they are angry or jealous, Hes done it before more... IMO once is enough. Respect yourself, respect the kids that you want to raise in a non-violent home and don't allow yourself to be physically abused.
 
Yes your so right I know.
2 of my kids are little girls ages 6 and 1.
Its so tough when children are involved so so tough.
Besides what happened today its usually cool between the two of us.
The thing that sucks is that I dont know how to drive, I never got around to going to driving school or anything.
Nobody was ever there to help me out so he is my only form of transportation,
he is the one that takes me to college, since we both go to the same college.
 
PaganPunkstress said:
He has hit me like 3 or 4 times at the most in the 2 years we have been together.
Ive also been in a abusive relationship before this one with my first two kids dad.
Click to expand...

3 or 4 times is one time too many. A good dad? Good men aren't abusive, whether it is verbally, mentally, and/or physically. If you can take the time to work out and getting yourself put together physically, work on getting yourself together emotionally and mentally so you don't put yourself in another relationship like this. There are a lot of dead women because they were with a man that was a "good dad" but used them as a punching bag or only hit them a few times with the last punch putting them 6ft under.

I understand how you feel. I was in an abusive situation myself for 4 years. I allowed someone to manipulate me and be mentally & emotionally abusive to me. To get over that situation and improve myself - I spent a lot of time alone learning to love myself.

Learn to love yourself. If leaving isn't an immediate option, try calling a hotline.
 
PaganPunkstress said:
harsh words but very very true
Click to expand...

I'm sorry. I from New York, it is hard for me to be gentle. Why don't you look into getting your license this weekend? Take your first step towards independence.
 
My ex beat me.... ONCE.

I told him to get the fuck out.

I have several children with him - was faithfully married to the asshole for over a decade.

I made A LOT of bad choices after that because I had zero self-esteem and never thought I could make it on my own.

THERE ARE TONS OF SOCIAL SERVICES TO HELP WOMEN LIKE YOU. I SUCKED IT UP AND FINALLY TOOK ADVANTAGE OF THEM AND NOW THINGS ARE A THOUSAND TIMES BETTER FOR ME AND MY KIDS.

YOU ARE A VICTIM OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. GO TO A SHELTER AND SEEK HELP. IT IS THERE FOR YOU AN YOUR CHILDREN.

YOU HAVE ZERO EXCUSE.

YOUR CHILDREN DESERVE A BETTER FUTURE THAN TO SEE THEIR MOTHER BEATEN BY SOME ASSHOLE.

PERIOD.


WOMEN HELPING WOMEN = EXCELLENT ORGANIZATION FOR COUNSELING SERVICES.

SOCIAL SERVICES = TAKE YOURSELF DOWN THERE TOMORROW, ASK and ACCEPT ALL THE PUBLIC ASSISTANCE YOU ARE ENTITLED TO.

If you have any questions and I can be of help PM ME.

My benefits have been sharply reduced (after 6 months) and will end soon altogether. Makes me a little nervous but proud at the same time. I am STILL embarrassed for people to see that I pay for our groceries with food stamps (live in a middle to upper middle class suburb) but my children are fed so what do I give a fahootie what anyone will think.

DO IT FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR CHILDREN - YOU OWE IT TO THEM TO LEAVE.

STAYING IS THE EASY WAY OUT.

IF YOU WERE YOUR KID, WHAT WOULD YOU WANT YOUR MOTHER TO DO?!?!
 
Damn. Makes me feel like stopping by to kick the living fucking shit out of this guy ...

PP I'm so sorry about that. All the above info is great - you don't need to make any drastic decisions, but you should have everything in place to be completely independent of this guy if you need to. These are the things that you have the right to do and they will give you the basis to take control of whatever you need to take control of when you can't rely on other people to treat you the way you should treated.
 
Just always remember, never let children be the reason you stay, because it will end in more regret...also...you have to be a romodel for those to beauties. What ever they see you endure, they will most likely grow up accepting a man like this.

So much more i would love to say, but it has all pretty much been summed up before me. No matter how much you love him, no matter how much you think..well...i don't want to be alone..or even if it is negative attention, at least i am getting attention...anything like this, you will be way better off with out him as will your children. Hang in there and if you ever need anything, we are all here.
 
Not only are you teaching your daughters that it's okay to accept abuse, but you're teaching your son to be an abuser.

3 or 4 times is one too many? Once is one too many. Abuse always escalates. My best friend put up with extreme abuse for a long time until she realized what I just said above (she had two sons and one daughter). Her childhood had prepared her to accept abuse, but as a rational adult, she refused do that to her kids.

Love does not hurt you. He doesn't love you. He wants to own and control you. There's a world of difference.

Good luck, and take care. (Physical assault is illegal, you know, and you could call the cops and have him spend the night in jail while you pack your things and get out.) Yes, leaving will be traumatic for the kids, but not as traumatic as watching you get the crap beat out of you.
 
Where do you live? I'll come beat that fucker down myself. :mad: You need to take care of yourself and your children sweetie. Him hitting you this one time is one time too many, regardless of how mad he was. This man does not deserve your loyalty or your love. Please protect yourself and reach out to those who can help you out of this situation. It will only get worse from here if you stay. :(
 
dirty~d~ said:
Where do you live? I'll come beat that fucker down myself. :mad: You need to take care of yourself and your children sweetie. Him hitting you this one time is one time too many, regardless of how mad he was. This man does not deserve your loyalty or your love. Please protect yourself and reach out to those who can help you out of this situation. It will only get worse from here if you stay. :(
Click to expand...
Ditto this, I pack a mean punch. My blood is boiling right now. I am SO sorry you are in that situation. As all of these ladies have said, 1 hit was 1 too many. Unfortunately, it seems you've allowed yourself to get addicted to this situation. Please don't get caught up in the "good dad" act. A good father/mother will, without regard, always respect you A. for being the person they love but B. because you're the mother of their child. This man does not respect you and more so, knows that no matter how many times he mentally, physically, or emotionally abuses you....fact is, you will always be there. He sounds like a control freak who needs to be brought to his knees. I can almost assure you (from experience) your two children that aren't his...will be next in line. A man/woman who is allowed to pyhisically hurt their significant other at some point ALWAYS turns to the next in line. Know this....Just being there does not nominate him for father of the year. Seek help...the ladies were right above...there are TONS of people who can and will help you.

OH, and the ordeal about your past and him being a jackass about it...do me a favor and tell him to go sit on his thumb and rotate. (ok, maybe YOU shouldn't say that...u don't want to initiate a fight but think about it next time you look at him)

You and your children are in my prayers. :rose:
 
habitualhealth said:
Oh yeah...something to think about...

...any man/woman worth crying over would never make you cry.
Click to expand...
how in the hell did i not see this thread??
I so hope u are ok gf
Listen to these girls:) they are a few smart cookies. We :heart: you
 
SoKlueles said:
how in the hell did i not see this thread??
I so hope u are ok gf
Listen to these girls:) they are a few smart cookies. We :heart: you
Click to expand...

Because you spend all of your time in the C&C forum, neglecting us (I'm kidding - I'm starting to hang around there a lot too).
 
nycgirl said:
Because you spend all of your time in the C&C forum, neglecting us (I'm kidding - I'm starting to hang around there a lot too).
Click to expand...
danggggggg
lol
ive started coming in here more, you have to admit, its not until lately that the girl talk forum has been frequented
now it rocks :heart:
 
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