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I need advice asap
- Thread starter Jade19
- Start date
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*MissFit*
Guest
why did u do that.. if trust is an issue.. it's done..
U should've listened.. if youhad concerns.. you should of asked.. what you did wasn't cool.. ppls msgs are personal..
Fine you found something out.. he's obviously not being a 1005 honest, but your methods of finding out.. are way out of line
U should've listened.. if youhad concerns.. you should of asked.. what you did wasn't cool.. ppls msgs are personal..
Fine you found something out.. he's obviously not being a 1005 honest, but your methods of finding out.. are way out of line
Well, you really can't bring it up to him unless he is aware that you listen to his VM messages.
Were they talking about the dating they are doing or planning to do?
The thing about relationships is that when you suspect someone is cheating and you feel you have to invade their privacy to see if it's true - it is and it's already over. Also, if you think someone could not possibly have the time to cheat on you and that they are are always with you, always come home to you - think again (I say that from experience).
Were they talking about the dating they are doing or planning to do?
The thing about relationships is that when you suspect someone is cheating and you feel you have to invade their privacy to see if it's true - it is and it's already over. Also, if you think someone could not possibly have the time to cheat on you and that they are are always with you, always come home to you - think again (I say that from experience).
Shouldn't have listened to his VM ... but whats done is done.. You were wrong for that, I've had it happen to me and though I never cheated I was treated as though I would. Trust plays a major role in any relationship... With out it everything withers away.
Stand back and see what happens... If you approach him with this you'll have to explain why you listened to his VM. Its a lose/lose situation no doubt.. but I'd Stack my cards... Catch him in the act.. until you do.. its all he said she said.
Stand back and see what happens... If you approach him with this you'll have to explain why you listened to his VM. Its a lose/lose situation no doubt.. but I'd Stack my cards... Catch him in the act.. until you do.. its all he said she said.
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If you suspected in the first place to even listen to the messages then you have insecurity issues with the relationship. Are you unhappy in the realtionship? Scared to be alone? Feel at a loss without him? If so maybe you shouldn't be in it. Apparently he's not happy in it if he's going some place else. Your own happiness is what matters most. You are wasting each other's time trying to create happiness if it doesn't already exist. Life is to short. Let him go and move on with your life. You don't need someone there for security reasons you can do it alone.
One thing I have learned is to first be happy with myself, and by myself first and foremost. Being in a relationship should be a bonus to 'my' already enjoyable life. If it is not, something is wrong.
One thing I have learned is to first be happy with myself, and by myself first and foremost. Being in a relationship should be a bonus to 'my' already enjoyable life. If it is not, something is wrong.
He'll probably get really pissed that you were in his vmail but probably more pissed that he got caught. If you knew his password (unless you guessed it) then on some level he knew you had access to his voicemail...even though he probably didn't think you'd do so.
I agree with the others that if the trust is broken, it's not very fixable. I hope you do what brings you the most peace, whether that be confronting him and ending it or trying to catch him in the act.
I agree with the others that if the trust is broken, it's not very fixable. I hope you do what brings you the most peace, whether that be confronting him and ending it or trying to catch him in the act.
BlondeBombshell27
New member
My boyfriend would kill me if I did that. What you did was wrong. Two wrongs don't make a right. He will be pissed anyways that you caught his ass. Men can be such pigs sometimes! Once a cheater always a cheater! Dump his ass now!
Jade19
New member
The Ex -Shes kind of a crazy chick, not very good social skills. I've met her b4. Dumb as a rock never had a real relationship besides him and they were only together for a month.
YOU WERE RIGHT! I got caught listening to the VM's (ur right about it bein wrong) and i confronted him, thats how i eventually got caught. He admitted he hadn't been totally honest w me about her calling him. One of my biggest flaws is im a very jealous person. I seemed to acquire that trait after i was a cheater myself, and no i have never cheated on him and I just get wierded out by the thought of being cheated on (karma-what goes around comes around). He knows that so he says he tried to avoid conflict. He called the girl and told her no more calls that it was a mistake to think that they could be friends, before this incident she called him one night and they have kinda the same circle of friends so she said she didnt want things to be wierd and they should be friends. So it's settled, with him at least i swear if i catch her somewhere she will live to regret it
I dunno girls thank you for the advise, always good to get more opinions.
YOU WERE RIGHT! I got caught listening to the VM's (ur right about it bein wrong) and i confronted him, thats how i eventually got caught. He admitted he hadn't been totally honest w me about her calling him. One of my biggest flaws is im a very jealous person. I seemed to acquire that trait after i was a cheater myself, and no i have never cheated on him and I just get wierded out by the thought of being cheated on (karma-what goes around comes around). He knows that so he says he tried to avoid conflict. He called the girl and told her no more calls that it was a mistake to think that they could be friends, before this incident she called him one night and they have kinda the same circle of friends so she said she didnt want things to be wierd and they should be friends. So it's settled, with him at least i swear if i catch her somewhere she will live to regret it
I dunno girls thank you for the advise, always good to get more opinions.I've had men invade my privacy and I know I'm the most faithful person on the planet. I've never had anything to hide and sometimes have trusted too much. Has usually turned out for me that they were the ones up to something. Go figure...
Trust is a biggie for me....Once I don't have that, it just gets pissy and goes downhill.
Trust is a biggie for me....Once I don't have that, it just gets pissy and goes downhill.
