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cuz I've never said where it is so just for today I'm bringin the blogness to you. My treat. Here is yesterday's entry...enjoy but don't hate!
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Do you give to the homeless?
Sometimes I do if they REALLY look homeless. A lot of the homeless in L.A. are pretenders just trying to avoid working for The Man all day. Maybe they're out of work actors...I dunno.
The Century Blvd exit from the 405 (my exit to the office) must be prime panhandling territory because I see 4-5 different guys working that corner. They've all got the fancy sign proclaiming "homeless" or "please help". Some of these guys put some serious effort into designing that thing too. Most of them are clearly pretenders though.
The true playa for real is a guy I call Whitey. Why? Well cuz he's white (I just told you not to hate). He's actually brown though. He's got that dirt that looks so ingrained on him you don't think he'll ever get clean now matter how many showers he takes. I'm pretty sure if Whitey ever got undressed to shower he'd kill all life forms within a 20 foot radius. Whitey is usually wearing about 10 layers of clothing but you can tell by his face he's about 120 lbs. Whitey is definitely homeless. There is no doubt. Truely homeless people are oblivious to their surroundings, especially street noise. If they hear sirens or screeching tires they don't turn to look because they hear that 24/7. It's like birds chirping to them. One day I saw Whitey sleeping on the corner with his homeless sign leaning against him. My man was KNOCKED...THE...FUCK...OUT! This is a busy exit ramp too...this road leads to Los Angeles airport. He had like 10-12 pigeons walking around him picking up crumbs. I wouldn't be surprised if a few didn't just park their asses right ON him. Whitey is the guy you can give money to and just know he will buy some food. I've never seen him drinkin alcohol...unlike Dude.
Dude is a black guy, probably around 50-55'ish. Hell, he might be 40. Who knows. He ain't homeless. He might not have a place to call his own but he definitely sleeps indoors at night. He'll walk right up to your car and try to get you to roll the window down so he can mumble something. You either oblige and reach for some coin or you hurriedly lock the door and wish you could drive from the passenger seat. There is no middle ground with him. Dude looks able-bodied so I wouldn't give him jack. He could at least go recycle some damn cans or something. I wanna roll the window down and yell 'GET A FUCKING JOB, MUTHA FUCKA...YOU'RE MAKING US LOOK BAD'. He's never wearing the same clothes two days in a row and he doesn't have more than a few weeks growth of facial hair. Dude's problem is the bottle. The other day Dude was B-U-S-T-ED ass drunk at the exit. I'm not sure he could've made it to the car and back standing if you held out a wad of hundreds. I thought he was going to get hit. I almost wanted to give him money just so he'd sit his black ass down.
All the other corner workers I will collectively call Hector. No, they aren't all hispanic. I'm just too lazy to break them all down. They're not interesting characters like Whitey and Dude anyway. Except one guy I have now dubbed The DJ. The DJ was working the corner Monday wearing headphones and bopping to the music. Dressed than most day laborers, if he's got money for batteries he don't need my help. I need batteries for my digital camera now. Maybe I can get The DJ to panhandle some for me. Hey yo, DJ? Can a brotha get some Energizer 3-Volt Photo Lithium's? Those puppies are expensive and I need to get my shutterbug on....ya heard?DT out!
Edit - this morning I watched The DJ pull out some sunglasses, blow and dust 'em off then cool as a cucumber slid 'em on under his LA Dodgers hat and recommenced bumpin tunes on his mp3 mplayer while flashin his "Please Help" sign....only in Cali.
------------
Do you give to the homeless?
Sometimes I do if they REALLY look homeless. A lot of the homeless in L.A. are pretenders just trying to avoid working for The Man all day. Maybe they're out of work actors...I dunno.
The Century Blvd exit from the 405 (my exit to the office) must be prime panhandling territory because I see 4-5 different guys working that corner. They've all got the fancy sign proclaiming "homeless" or "please help". Some of these guys put some serious effort into designing that thing too. Most of them are clearly pretenders though.
The true playa for real is a guy I call Whitey. Why? Well cuz he's white (I just told you not to hate). He's actually brown though. He's got that dirt that looks so ingrained on him you don't think he'll ever get clean now matter how many showers he takes. I'm pretty sure if Whitey ever got undressed to shower he'd kill all life forms within a 20 foot radius. Whitey is usually wearing about 10 layers of clothing but you can tell by his face he's about 120 lbs. Whitey is definitely homeless. There is no doubt. Truely homeless people are oblivious to their surroundings, especially street noise. If they hear sirens or screeching tires they don't turn to look because they hear that 24/7. It's like birds chirping to them. One day I saw Whitey sleeping on the corner with his homeless sign leaning against him. My man was KNOCKED...THE...FUCK...OUT! This is a busy exit ramp too...this road leads to Los Angeles airport. He had like 10-12 pigeons walking around him picking up crumbs. I wouldn't be surprised if a few didn't just park their asses right ON him. Whitey is the guy you can give money to and just know he will buy some food. I've never seen him drinkin alcohol...unlike Dude.
Dude is a black guy, probably around 50-55'ish. Hell, he might be 40. Who knows. He ain't homeless. He might not have a place to call his own but he definitely sleeps indoors at night. He'll walk right up to your car and try to get you to roll the window down so he can mumble something. You either oblige and reach for some coin or you hurriedly lock the door and wish you could drive from the passenger seat. There is no middle ground with him. Dude looks able-bodied so I wouldn't give him jack. He could at least go recycle some damn cans or something. I wanna roll the window down and yell 'GET A FUCKING JOB, MUTHA FUCKA...YOU'RE MAKING US LOOK BAD'. He's never wearing the same clothes two days in a row and he doesn't have more than a few weeks growth of facial hair. Dude's problem is the bottle. The other day Dude was B-U-S-T-ED ass drunk at the exit. I'm not sure he could've made it to the car and back standing if you held out a wad of hundreds. I thought he was going to get hit. I almost wanted to give him money just so he'd sit his black ass down.
All the other corner workers I will collectively call Hector. No, they aren't all hispanic. I'm just too lazy to break them all down. They're not interesting characters like Whitey and Dude anyway. Except one guy I have now dubbed The DJ. The DJ was working the corner Monday wearing headphones and bopping to the music. Dressed than most day laborers, if he's got money for batteries he don't need my help. I need batteries for my digital camera now. Maybe I can get The DJ to panhandle some for me. Hey yo, DJ? Can a brotha get some Energizer 3-Volt Photo Lithium's? Those puppies are expensive and I need to get my shutterbug on....ya heard?DT out!
Edit - this morning I watched The DJ pull out some sunglasses, blow and dust 'em off then cool as a cucumber slid 'em on under his LA Dodgers hat and recommenced bumpin tunes on his mp3 mplayer while flashin his "Please Help" sign....only in Cali.
o baby
