I just gave birth

[frorider6]

I thought I just had to go to the bathroom really bad. Well, once I made it to a stall, the contractions began. It's a good thing I was in the handicap stall too cause I started thrashing around and screaming. "OH MY GOD, WHAT IS COMING OUT OF MY ASS?!?!" This was no bowel movement. I WAS HAVING A BABY! I could feel the little guy splitting my O-ring. Man, this kid had the largest head ever! I really started to bear down and push when I felt it crowning. The metal railings in the stall were starting to bend and I just hoped they'd hold up. Then it happened. Once the baby's head was out, the rest just slipped right out. KEP-PLUNK!!! The splash was a welcome sensation on my tortured birth canal. I stood up just as soon as I got strength back in my legs, and I saw him. My baby. He was a big baby. I don't know who the mother is but she must be of a strong ethnic origin because he's got a dark skin tone, almost a chocolatein color, which I know doesn't come from my white ass.

I quickly wrapped him up in TP and carried him to my cubicle. Now I have a makeshift cradle here made from my most recent performance review. We'll go to the doctor as soon as I'm done with work.

I'm trying to think of names at this point. I really wasn't prepared to be a father so I haven't thought of any. Any suggestions? It has to be something that sounds good being announced during the Superbowl. As big and hard as he is, I know he's destined for athletic greatness.

 

[PURE EXTRACT]

bro...that's nasty LMAO

 

[NateDogg]

ROTFLMAO!!!!!

ND

 

[Citruscide]

Colorful description...

C

 

[HappyScrappy]

I wish your GF read this board.

 

[frorider6]

I wish your GF read this board.

I don't know how she's going to react to this. I mean, BAM! All of the sudden I'm a single parent and I don't even know who the mother is.

 

[WODIN]

I busted out laughing at the title of the thread and had to take a moment to compose myself. Thank God I wasn't drinking a shake. Anyway, congratulations on your new arrival.

 

[saint808]

Calm down fro.

I once thought the same thing... i was like... damn i gave birth to a lawyer... but then i realized it was just a gigantic feces stool, it's hard to tell sometimes.

 

[frorider6]

I was just lucky that I had my digital camera with me. Here's baby's first picture. Isn't he adorable.


Picture deleted. Deemed as "tasteless" although I can't imagine a more flavorful thing.

 

[saint808]

I was just lucky that I had my digital camera with me. Here's baby's first picture. Isn't he adorable.

damn bro... my bad... that is indeed a lawyer... congrats...

 

[HappyScrappy]

okay, this is so incredibly over the line.
YOU MUST STOP

 

[Dogballs]

that pic was definatly uncalled for.

 

[Mike P.T.]

 

[PURE EXTRACT]

I was just lucky that I had my digital camera with me. Here's baby's first picture. Isn't he adorable.

yo you are fucking nasty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LMAO

 

[frorider6]

okay, this is so incredibly over the line.
YOU MUST STOP

Ya know, I get accused of not knowing where to stop a lot. Well, I do know where that line is, but when I see it, I just stomp on the gas and give a big as I go sailing by.

 

[The Shadow]

Mr. Gardiner should be the name. In honor of, well...Mr. Gardiner of course.

 

[AAP]

You surprised me. Ididn't know you "had it in ya".

 

[Polfa/Jelfa]

SICK FUCKER

 

[the nature boy]

LOL. That's a nice picture, you should get that framed.

what's your baby's name?

 

[frorider6]

what's your baby's name?

I don't know, it was all such a surprise. I'm asking for suggestions.

 

[WODIN]

I was just lucky that I had my digital camera with me. Here's baby's first picture. Isn't he adorable.

So cute!!! Has your eyes and legs!!!

Congrats...


FYI... last year this same pic got "whiped" by George as being "over the line". Dread_Lord_good_Guy posted it.

 

[HUCKLEBERRY FINNaplex]

I just knew I was going to regret clicking on this thread...This is just entirely wrooong...LOL.

 

[HumorMe]

God, this is a funny thread....fucking gross...but funny as shit...literally!!!!! LMAO!!!!

I wonder why no women have responded yet?

 

[frorider6]

So cute!!! Has your eyes and legs!!!

Congrats...


FYI... last year this same pic got "whiped" by George as being "over the line". Dread_Lord_good_Guy posted it.

okay okay, I don't want my pee pee whacked my the Lord and Master. I'll remove it...... for now.

 

[spongebob]

you should be proud, he's a cutie.

hope he doesn't have a peanut for a brain. all the other kids are gonna poke fun at the little fella. "your daddy wiped the best part you off his ass and flushed it". that would be shitty.

well like they say, "shit happens"

 

[amaritto]

Mr. Hanky. Has to be Mr. Hanky Fro Jr...