I have a problem

[guards]

Hey guys, I have a few things that have been bothering me over the last few weeks. I have a girlfriend that I am trying to date long distance. The problem is that I am one jealous motherfucker. I hate feeling like I'm trying to control her, as that is deffinitely not fair, but at the same time there are certain situations that i don't feel comfortable with. I hate it when she goes to raves and danceclubs without me. It's fine when I'm there, 'cause I can make it quite apparent that she is taken, but when she goes to these places without me, all I can think about is that there is some asshole hitting on my lady without me being there to kick the fuck out of him. I have had problems in the past with girlfriends cheating on me, therefor making me paranoid that this one will. I realise that this is not fair, but I have a hard time dealing with it. Every fight I have ever been in, except for two, has been over a chick. I'm usually pretty mellow, but when it comes to my girlfriend, I lose my temper so easy. Does anyone have any experience with this shit? Any suggestions?

I know I'm not being fair to my girlfriend and I want to stop, I just want some ideas as to how I can deal with my little "problem".

Thanx in advance.

 

[Chris V.]

I dont really have an answer for this since the same shit happened to me 2 years ago. I would get worried when she goes to raves when Im not around so I let my cousin go with her to watch her. BIG MISTAKE!! My so called cousin stole her and they started fooling around behind my back. I finally caught them and I got into a big fight with my cousin where I ended up breaking his arm. I no longer have any relationship with my cousin and I havent seen them ever since. I havent gone out with anyone since and I dont think I can ever go through that again.Spent NewYears 2000 alone and
Been depressed lately and weightlifting is the only thing that keeping me alive.I be here training like a madman cause I be joining the Army next year. Wish me luck

My advice is that If you really like her and she loves you then you should trust her but If you have any doubts then you should watch her if you plan on keepin her.

 

[karson]

bro

its simple. a relationship is built on trust. if you dont trust her, get rid of her. if you do stop worrying about it. also, if you dont, there must be a reason which means you shouldnt. its like the old saying, just because your paranoid doesnt mean someone is not following you.....

 

[jennifer BFL chick]

When I'm serious about a guy, I don't go to clubs all that much. Its pretty much a meat market any way you slice it. But trust is the main issue here

 

[alptraum]

Well said Karson and Chris. You need to realize the women in your past that cheated on you is not the person you are currently with. Trust is crucial in a relationship. Good luck!

 

[KAYNE]

GUARDS

I WOULD LOVE TO HELP YOU OUT FOR I HAVE ABUNDANT INFO ON THIS TOPIC BUT I GET MAD JUST THINKING ABOUT THIS SHIT. THEREFORE, I CANT HELP YOU CUZ I MIGHT JUST HIT MY DAMN COMPUTER!!!

 

[rugger]

cheating

If someone is going to cheat, they're going to cheat. Period. There is NOTHING you can do about it. Trust is all you got. Granted, being out on the town, partying, there is more temptation and certainly opportunity to cheat...

I used to be a controlling jealous fuck, when I was younger, and guess what...I was still cheated on a couple times-I was doing it too.

Now, I trust my fiancee. She rarely wants to go "out with the girls." I encourage her to in fact, to keep things healthy. She asks if I am worried, I tell her no, there is no point to it, because if she is going to cheat there is nothing anyone can do about, period. If she is willing to give up on us or take the chance to screw things up, then we are both in the wrong place.

Relax and let it ride.

Rugger

 

[bigmag]

I have had just about every one of my girlfriends cheat on me.....so I totally understand what you mean. The way I look at it when I get a new girl is......trust them untill they give you a reason not to....If a girl cheats on you she's a bitch and not worth the time to be with. As far as me kicking another guys ass for doing that....I just find out if he knew that I was with her. If he did, then I beat the hell out of him. If he didn't, I just let it go. 95% of the time (atleast from my experience) the guy didn't know. I know it's tough having a long distance relationship, but you HAVE to trust her. That's the bottom line.

 

[creamy_goodness]

Re: bro

its simple. a relationship is built on trust. if you dont trust her, get rid of her. if you do stop worrying about it. also, if you dont, there must be a reason which means you shouldnt. its like the old saying, just because your paranoid doesnt mean someone is not following you.....

Ah yes karson, but did guards give her a chance to earn his trust, or was he like this just cuz he got screwed over a few times? Big difference. Everyone deserves a chance to earn your trust, even women . However, it takes time. You sound a lot like me guards. I had a wonderful girlfriend for 2 years. I had no reason to worry, yet I did. Often times looking and feeling stupid in the process. Don't lose site of the things she does to prove she's loyal. Long distance sucks, trust me when I say I've been there. That should be more of a concern right now. Can you deal with the distance? I couldn't so my gf and I worked out a way to be closer together (proximity) It may mean a life change (moving out of state) but if she's worth it, I wouldn't hesitate. and if it doesn't work out, find some place new. might as well get to see as much of this country as you can, and all the people in it.

Jennifer- I desparately need to find a girl like you. I think that's a great sign of respect to your man. Props.

 

[guards]

bump for more input

 

[satanic goatslayer]

Stab her with a pair of meat tongs.

 

[Austin316]

If I caught my gf in the act of cheating like Chris, I might do exactly what SG suggested, but since I don't have one I don't have to worry bout it. I hate cheaters, they deserve anything bad thats thrown there way

 

[rushx79]

. As far as me kicking another guys ass for doing that....I just find out if he knew that I was with her. If he did, then I beat the hell out of him. If he didn't, I just let it go. 95% of the time (atleast from my experience) the guy didn't know.

yep.. dont check the pimp check the ho

 

[Frackal]

I TOTALLY understand Guards...I too am in a long--distance relationship...one that gets more serious everyday...I am terrified of the prospect of being cheated on, but at the same time I know that it won't happen. I'll tell you what though...if my chick was going to raves, rollin', getting fucked up etc...I'd be nervous as shit...

 

[MattTheSkywalker]

Frack,

for some reason I get the feeling that KC doesn't go to raves all that often.

 

[Frackal]

Your feelings are correct Matt. lol
Is that CISCO network gibberish under your sig?
Actually, networking is still a field I'm thinking about, you like it?

 

[Stubby2]

Man its the other way aroung for me. I trust my girl but she has never trusted me for some reason and we have been together for 7 years this August but even now she hates me going out with my mates. It got to such an extent that I stopped going out with my m8s for over 2 years but I stated to feel lonely and depressed so recently I have started going out again on Fri and Sat nights.

She doesnt like going out and drinking and stuff whereas I do. She goes out cus she thinks im gonna cheat on her. I've never been able to convince her otherwise. When Im getting ready to go out she insults me and tells me im not as good as I think I am which is a fuckng annoyance to say the least. She instults me all the time before I go and even resorts to sleeping on the sofa to make her point that she aint impressed.

It gets so annoying at times that she thinks im gonna crack onto another girl. I have the opportunity almost every week but Im not looking to cheat on her! She even accuses me of cheating with m8s girlfriends which is a complete pain in the ass and has caused friction between myself and my m8s in the past.

She has very low self esteem which is the main point to here untrust towards me and ex-boyfriends have fucked her around in the past and even used to beat her up.

Man, I love her and all but sometimes I feel this problem is gonna split us up sooner or later. Sex aint really the same any more either... seems more like an ordeal lately than enjoyment. There is no longer any passion from her and so that has changed my attitude towards sex recently. Her jelously and lack of passion should drive me to be unfaithfull but still I wont and dont want to. But whats a man to do.

I also find my only good times now are at the GYM and out at the weekends...

I dont think my situation will change now since its been too long so I either live with it or do something now before im too bloody old

STUBS