This is my thoughts, not meant for HR and Lefty, it's a thought for anyone who is in the situation of single parenting w/ a egg/sperm donor who is less than stellar.
The general thought process is that "I don't want to give the SOB/ Bitch the satisfaction of time with MY child. We can make it just fine and the child is better off w/o him/her. When there is child support involved, the money is often traded for the ability to keep the child from the other IF the parent does not ask/ accept it. In many cases unfortunately, that is just fine with the other parent, seems males fall into this more than females.
My point, the child support isn't the parents, it's the childs. By not moving to get the money, your saying you can't have what is rightfully yours. When the money is in the thousands per month, that is a big decision to make for that child. At 3-5K per month or more, that will go a long way for where the child lives, the grade schools he will attend, quality of education he can get if sent to private school, college, travel while growing up, cars, etc. Yes, the money may be there anyway, but the fact is that unless there is eminent harm to the child if the parent has visitation, that is cheating the child of something that is rightfully his/hers. If the parent is THAT bad, then custody can be very limited w/ an other person, to a specific place, or terminated all together w/ the Cild support ordered anyway. Another thing, the parent may be given visitation rights and not exercise them, or very little, which is usually the case, doesn't stop the money every month, but as the visits become less and less, then you can petition the court for no more visitation. ( HR is sighing, Tx knows I'm a lawyer, why is he going over this....again)
I'm just bringng up a side of this story that seems never to be talked about. It's easier just to sweep it under the proverbial rug and say,
"We'll be fine w/o them." Which is probably true, but my point needs to be said, especially when the money is a large sum per month, more than enough to change the way a child may be able to experience the world.
My point is, just consider what the money can do for your child, it IS theirs, not yours and make deciasions based on that, not "I hate the MF'er that fathered my child, he doesn't deserve to see them." Maybe not, but the fact still remains, (1) it isn't your money, and (2) at some point, your child will probably want to know this other person, and then where will you be, no child support needed if your child wants to innitiate the contact, and of course you will let him/her.
I think it's best to assume that this will happen, and get the money coming to the child, the rest will work it's self out, but get the money for your child. That's my veiw, lots of variables, but all in all, I think it's the best way.
This may not be the "popular" view, but it's mine....
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