I've posted this before - and oddly it seems perfect at the moment.
'Single with sparkling tiles.'
"There will always being something vastly attractive about being responsible only for yourself and accountable to only the schedule you create for yourself. You can go where you want, eat what and where you want, wear what you want and you are free to do anything or go anywhere you wish, when you wish. But just keep in mind you will have no one person to share your life with, to take a romantic holiday with and no one to tell your inner most desires or secrets. There will be no one to spoil or take care of and subsequently there will be no one to spoil or take care of you either. There will be no one to rely on if you should need help or support, but you are strong, smart and single and will find a way around that. There will be no shoulder to cry on and that mess you made in the kitchen sink is all yours to clean up. Then again, you are free to date as many people as you wish at any given time, perhaps even share a few, together even. Can any of your non-single friends say that? Do perhaps but say, no.
While you ponder your next choices in life, that is after you have dissected all your past ones, you will have plenty of time to get to know the real you. You will be free to explore new hobbies, in a group even, with other happy to be free and single people. You could try out new things like sky diving or better yet try out some extreme sports, go hot-dogging on the ski slopes. Don’t worry there’s no one around to talk you out of it. Go ahead have at it. On the flip side you may find that the real you that has found her or himself to be a voracious reader, writer and suddenly now a home improvement specialist. Your home improvement work, the work you do to your own home, the home that is solely yours and yours to do with as you see fit. Doing your own plumbing work will make you feel even more empowered and independent. But take my advice, leave the electrical work to the professionals.
For a while you will be lucky enough to have some good friends to fill the void you won’t necessarily feel in the first few years of being single. You will become very set in your ways and no one will tell you that you have done so, at least not to your face. Then those friends will eventually all marry, some will divorce and some will call or meet you for dinner or lunch to complain about the annoying little habits of their mate. That very same mate that will on occasion run them a bath when their day has been long and stressful, the same mate that may whip up their favorite meal at whim or simply be there when they get home.
Eventually those married or coupled friends will no longer see the joy and comfort that their mate brings to their life. You will grow increasingly tired of hearing their petty complaints but you will nod and continue to be a good friend even while you may wish they could see how fortunate they are to have someone in their life to share the ups and downs of their life. You will of course realize this clearly because you do not have anyone to share your life with, intimately or otherwise. Unless you want to count the affairs you have had, the affairs you call dating and the affairs you don’t call anything because they ended just a few hours ago. Hopefully they will have left nothing behind on your nightstand. Oh, and just a reminder, since you are so fortunate to have all this single freedom, don’t forget that you responsible for purchasing your own condoms.
Once your married friends have babies, they will still call you to further lament about their mate but they will need to get a babysitter or find that they are still looking for that new nanny to see you in person. They will protest that they aren’t getting enough help or emotional support but you secretly suspect that they just aren’t ‘getting any ’ or someone is ‘getting some ’ with someone else. If you are truly blessed they will take the child along to meet to you during your lunch break. Your lunch break, if you have the time to squeeze a real outside the office break, because only you are responsible for taking care of you. Perhaps if you are female your biological clock will tick or perhaps if you are male you will come to realize that you will be an old man when and if you have the chance to teach your kid to pitch a home run.
You will always be the one to take time off work to wait at home for the plumber or the cable guy to come, because you are the only one around to do so. Yes, I’m afraid that is your hair at the base of the shower drain and yes, because you were too tired to go to the market to buy food there will be nothing for you to munch on for dinner, or breakfast tomorrow. You lucky dog, if you choose to get up and go out no one will notice or worry frantically if you don’t come home until 3am or if you disappear for a spontaneous romp over the weekend.
You will have no one to share your hopes and plans for a better life with, or your insomnia, respectively. On the bright side, you will never have to share your favorite bar of skin-moisturizing soap with, the one with the dented corners, the one you keep dropping in the shower, the shower that you are solely responsible for cleaning. Then again that is the same shower you will never have to share or wait to use, because it is your shower and there will always be enough hot water."
Note - I was really disliking coupled people at the time of writing.... 
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if I were a girl I would be all up in your mix yo'!
You're right...nothing like some outright nudity as a suggestive gesture to your date!
