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I feel depressed

fyxgel2

Banned
Just got back tonight from hanging out with friends and chicks.
These are the friends that I know from the church that I go to on wednesday nights, we usually hang out afterwards.

Anyways in this group of friends there are a couple of really hot girls who are best friends, both pretty churchy and innocent like, and kinda silly and ditzy. Anyways they are both cute as dolls and I wouldnt mind spending time with either one of them.

Unfortunately I'm too late. I didnt ask either of these two girls if they wanted to hang out at all any time over this summer (1on1 hanging out) because I was afraid of rejection, or being bored with them if we did hang out, plus I couldnt think of a good enough date idea, or something like that.

Anyways, as it turns out this one really cute girl, the one I know the best, I found out has been apparently calling this guy everyday and they hang out quite frequently. It looks as if some type of relationship is spurring.

The other girl, I would perhaps ask out, but I havent been getting the most positive signs from her. She's a friend yes, but I dont feel like I have a chance with her. I think she knows I like her (or at least am attracted to her)

and it seems like once a girl figures out you are attracted to her (before you ask her out) then its all a waste, and you dont stand a chance with her anymore, because the mystery is gone, you are a loser, and she wants nothing to do with you.

In any case, I'm depressed right now if you guys cant tell.
I dont think I'm ever going to get a hot girl. I'm just cursed with the nerdiest personality ever, plus I'm not like super attractive or anything, most people say I'm average. average looks + nerdiness = I'm screwed.

I'm a desperate feller and I just cant hide it.


Wow, I'm already this depressed and I havent even gotten anywhere really with any women, I cant even imagine how depressed I would be if I did get in a relationship with a woman and broke up.
Maybe I'm just not the kind of person that's made to date women.
 
you need to meet some women who are really in touch with their sexuality. really really in touch. so in touch that they want everyone else to be in touch with it too. oh screw the double speak you need some sluts and pronto, your threads are starting to piss me off
 
GoldenDelicious said:
you need to meet some women who are really in touch with their sexuality. really really in touch. so in touch that they want everyone else to be in touch with it too. oh screw the double speak you need some sluts and pronto, your threads are starting to piss me off

Would a slut really quench all of my desires and put an end to this lonely misery? Somehow I think not.
 
fyxgel2 said:
Would a slut really quench all of my desires and put an end to this lonely misery? Somehow I think not.
well, your confidence is up Shit Creek with only 1 paddle, your social skill with women is right behind it except without a paddle and a hole in the deck, and a fast encounter with an even faster woman will go a long way in getting you out of that particular rut

then of course youll probably start with the "i fornicated, im a bad person" threads, but hey, a change is as good as a holiday :D
 
set your standards lower and date some average girls to build your confidence. THEN maybe youll have a chance at a hot girl
 
fyxgel2 said:
Just got back tonight from hanging out with friends and chicks.
These are the friends that I know from the church that I go to on wednesday nights, we usually hang out afterwards.

Anyways in this group of friends there are a couple of really hot girls who are best friends, both pretty churchy and innocent like, and kinda silly and ditzy. Anyways they are both cute as dolls and I wouldnt mind spending time with either one of them.

Unfortunately I'm too late. I didnt ask either of these two girls if they wanted to hang out at all any time over this summer (1on1 hanging out) because I was afraid of rejection, or being bored with them if we did hang out, plus I couldnt think of a good enough date idea, or something like that.

Anyways, as it turns out this one really cute girl, the one I know the best, I found out has been apparently calling this guy everyday and they hang out quite frequently. It looks as if some type of relationship is spurring.

The other girl, I would perhaps ask out, but I havent been getting the most positive signs from her. She's a friend yes, but I dont feel like I have a chance with her. I think she knows I like her (or at least am attracted to her)

and it seems like once a girl figures out you are attracted to her (before you ask her out) then its all a waste, and you dont stand a chance with her anymore, because the mystery is gone, you are a loser, and she wants nothing to do with you.

In any case, I'm depressed right now if you guys cant tell.
I dont think I'm ever going to get a hot girl. I'm just cursed with the nerdiest personality ever, plus I'm not like super attractive or anything, most people say I'm average. average looks + nerdiness = I'm screwed.

I'm a desperate feller and I just cant hide it.


Wow, I'm already this depressed and I havent even gotten anywhere really with any women, I cant even imagine how depressed I would be if I did get in a relationship with a woman and broke up.
Maybe I'm just not the kind of person that's made to date women.

someone poke this man with a rediject
 
you sound like my old workout partner, who was so shy i think i was the only female he ever spoke to. He was afraid to talk to women, afraid of rejection, and afraid of getting hurt...so at like 20 something he was still a virgin (not by choice).
We used to talk alot about it and i made him talk to this girl he liked and ask her if she wanted to go to his karate class to watch- no harm done if she said no and he could act like he wasn't asking her out, just being nice. she said she wanted to see and they went out afterwards. I think they went out a few times-it got him over his fear and he was more confident the next time.
 
georgie24 said:
how old are you man??!??!??!
20

set your standards lower and date some average girls to build your confidence. THEN maybe youll have a chance at a hot girl

I may just have to do this. I must remember though that the ultimate goal in mind is having a hot girl, and I will not settle for anything less. This means that the less attractive girls that I date in the mean time would only be temporary.
 
you sound like my old workout partner, who was so shy i think i was the only female he ever spoke to. He was afraid to talk to women, afraid of rejection, and afraid of getting hurt...so at like 20 something he was still a virgin (not by choice).
We used to talk alot about it and i made him talk to this girl he liked and ask her if she wanted to go to his karate class to watch- no harm done if she said no and he could act like he wasn't asking her out, just being nice. she said she wanted to see and they went out afterwards. I think they went out a few times-it got him over his fear and he was more confident the next time

Yea, maybe the hurt will be less painful if I go in and experience more and more of it. Maybe eventually I'll just get used to it. I dunno.
 
fyxgel2 said:
Yea, maybe the hurt will be less painful if I go in and experience more and more of it. Maybe eventually I'll just get used to it. I dunno.

ok... the hurt never gets better, but you become more realistic about it. you learn to know 'ok, i'm hurting, but i'll get over it, even though it feels like i never will'.
just throw yourself into it man.
 
Quit asking girls if they want to hang out, ask them out for a date, that way they know that you're interested in them in a more than friends way. Just go up to a girl and ask if she would like to go to a movie, and make sure that it's not "THE PASSION OF CHRIST."
 
Dude, what is sad, is you are afraid of ghosts. There is nothing there than actually harm you, even if you are rejected.

Just do it
 
fyxgel2 said:
I must remember though that the ultimate goal in mind is having a hot girl, and I will not settle for anything less. This means that the less attractive girls that I date in the mean time would only be temporary.

I feel sorry for the long, painful road of self-realization that is still ahead of you. It took me 40 years to finally realize that my over-inflated opinion of myself is not justified by what I have to offer. Sorry to see you having to take my place...
 
I like you fyxgel2. I'm at a tough spot in my marriage right now, but every post you make reminds me just how lucky I really am. Thank you.


Some advice: forget the "I have to have a hot girl" syndrome you have going on, just find a girl you like and ask her to a movie or for a talk and a walk, something. You will get rejected, and it will hurt, accept that and just do it.

Time to stop being afraid of the water and just jump into the pool.
 
Are you the same dude that had the hots for the bank teller and left
a love note on her bosses car by accident ?

LOL

Dude you need to read a book or something..

Don't give up. just keep not trying harder

Good luck..
 
masterbation and video games is where it's at for our kind
 
Tactile said:
I feel sorry for the long, painful road of self-realization that is still ahead of you. It took me 40 years to finally realize that my over-inflated opinion of myself is not justified by what I have to offer. Sorry to see you having to take my place...


hey, I dont think I have an over inflated opinion of myself. I know that most hot girls wouldnt want me. But thats not the point, the point is that eventually one hot girl is going to want me, and then I am going to be a happy camper.

If not, then I may consider changing myself (my appearances, my confidence, etc) to make myself 'more eligible' if its worth it. Or maybe I wont change myself, if its going to be too much work. We'll see.
 
Smurfy said:
"I'm a desperate feller and I just cant hide it."
Here is your problem Young Skywalker.

you're right. Maybe I need to learn to hide it.

I dont think there is anything wrong with being all out gung ho to get a hot woman, but the world does, so I guess I'm just going to have to pretend that I dont care that much, in order to fool a girl into falling into my lap.
 
Y_Lifter said:
Are you the same dude that had the hots for the bank teller and left
a love note on her bosses car by accident ?

LOL

Dude you need to read a book or something..

Don't give up. just keep not trying harder

Good luck..

heh, nope. that wasnt me.

masterbation and video games is where it's at for our kind

I aint giving up that soon.
 
fyxgel2 said:
hey, I dont think I have an over inflated opinion of myself. I know that most hot girls wouldnt want me. But thats not the point, the point is that eventually one hot girl is going to want me, and then I am going to be a happy camper.

If not, then I may consider changing myself (my appearances, my confidence, etc) to make myself 'more eligible' if its worth it. Or maybe I wont change myself, if its going to be too much work. We'll see.

It's also possible that you might win the lottery, but highly unlikely. You have to put in the effort first if you hope to reap any benefits. That applies to work/career in the same way that it applies to a "hot girl". Even after going that extra mile and putting in all kinds of effort there is still no guarantee of a payoff. What would be your payoff even if you were successful? Being able to wear some hot chick on your arm, like a trophy?

Much better if you start to think about finding a girl that you can connect with. Both mentally and spiritually. Chances are good that she won't be everything that you hoped for, but it will probably be the same thing for her. "Close enough" is not a bad thing to shoot for.

I hope you can tell that I'm not trying to hurt you, or embarrass you. I'm just trying to instill a sense of reality in you, in hopes of you being spared the many frustrating years I've had to go through with unrealistic expectations.
 
Tactile said:
It's also possible that you might win the lottery, but highly unlikely. You have to put in the effort first if you hope to reap any benefits. That applies to work/career in the same way that it applies to a "hot girl". Even after going that extra mile and putting in all kinds of effort there is still no guarantee of a payoff. What would be your payoff even if you were successful? Being able to wear some hot chick on your arm, like a trophy?

Much better if you start to think about finding a girl that you can connect with. Both mentally and spiritually. Chances are good that she won't be everything that you hoped for, but it will probably be the same thing for her. "Close enough" is not a bad thing to shoot for.

I hope you can tell that I'm not trying to hurt you, or embarrass you. I'm just trying to instill a sense of reality in you, in hopes of you being spared the many frustrating years I've had to go through with unrealistic expectations.

What if finding something or someone "close enough" isnt what is going to make me happy though? What if it is the quest for the lottery that is what keeps me motivated in life and striving (regardless of whether I win or dont)
okay, maybe that was confusing. Anyways, I think my odds with a hot girl are much better than my odds with the lottery. The payoff would be a gorgeous woman at your side. I wouldnt think of her as a trophy as much, that is silly.

Maybe "close enough" isnt a bad thing to shoot for, but there is something about the challenge which makes going after a hot girl more exciting. I dont know why I think this way but I do. I definately want her to also be someone that I connect with mentally and spiritually too though.

But in the end, its not the result that im after, but rather the quest that makes me happy.

I know you are trying to be helpful with the advice that you are offering.
I guess I dont know why, but I just think differently on the matter. Am I being stupid right now, or could I maybe just be following the different strokes for different folks principle?
 
Dougly said:
How often did you say you go to the gym?

not often. once a week right now, at best. Okay, so I'm lazy when it comes to taking care of my body right now,

and I know that I will have to change that if I want to get a hot girl (maybe, i guess it depends on the girl)

But... when it comes to the woman part of my life, I would rather get involved with the process, rather then sitting back and waiting for a girl to ask me out (because for 1) that never happens, and 2) then im just putting the responsibility of initiation on her, so the responsibility still has to go to someone, why not make it me instead?)

I guess it comes down to this:
I am lazy when it comes to the gym, but would rather not be, when it comes to women.
 
Y_Lifter said:
Are you hitting on him ?

lol. Nah, his stories match up identical to a guy from around here. It was a long shot but had me curious.
 
dude, you are too young to get a hot chick yet anyway.

You need to start at the bottom and work your way up.. go for some fatties... some ugly chicks... break a few hearts.. build some confidence... you will really become a more relaxed and easy going person.

I swear I was just like you until about age 20.
 
fyxgel2 said:
But in the end, its not the result that im after, but rather the quest that makes me happy.

I guess I dont know why, but I just think differently on the matter. Am I being stupid right now, or could I maybe just be following the different strokes for different folks principle?

Nah, I don't think you're being stupid. I guess you'll never reach the stars without at least shooting for them. It sounds like you're at least getting some clarity within yourself as to what you really want. Sometimes people can help the most by just letting you talk a little.
 
Dougly said:
How successful has your course of action been so far? Just trying to help you out here bro.

not very, but I havent been trying that hard either. Even if I'm not successful it doesnt matter. I think I will be more successful trying than not trying.
 
fyxgel2 said:
not very, but I havent been trying that hard either. Even if I'm not successful it doesnt matter. I think I will be more successful trying than not trying.
If you are just as unsuccessful trying as when not trying, what is the point?
Thats like working out all the time and not gaining any sort of benefit physically, yet you continue to do so.
Your problem is you are "trying" the wrong way, and thinking that the mere act of doing something, however misguided and unproductive, gets results. As you are proving, it does not.
 
fyxgel2 said:
20



I must remember though that the ultimate goal in mind is having a hot girl, and I will not settle for anything less.


Vanity is a moral sin.
 
superdave said:
If you are just as unsuccessful trying as when not trying, what is the point?
Thats like working out all the time and not gaining any sort of benefit physically, yet you continue to do so.
Your problem is you are "trying" the wrong way, and thinking that the mere act of doing something, however misguided and unproductive, gets results. As you are proving, it does not.

but what if when you are working out, one day you finally notice that you can actually lift more?

okay, bad analogy. Bottom line is I'm going to go after the hotties, and I am willing to try different tactics to get them, to see which ones work better.

liken that to the weight room... I will try different routines and such, but my goal is still the same: to get stronger, or in this case, to get a hottie.

Thats always going to be my main goal. Or at least for now it will be. I might pretend that its not my main goal (in order to make myself look less desperate) but deep down it will still be the main goal.
 
Lestat said:
dude, you are too young to get a hot chick yet anyway.

You need to start at the bottom and work your way up.. go for some fatties... some ugly chicks... break a few hearts.. build some confidence... you will really become a more relaxed and easy going person.

I swear I was just like you until about age 20.


Mods. Is there some way that this post could automatically posted as soon as Fxygel2 post's any thread. It would save us from typing it everytime. (and he might listen)
 
hanselthecaretaker said:
Vanity is a moral sin.

Yea, but we arent ever going to be perfect. Thus this minor sin can slide...

Mods. Is there some way that this post could automatically posted as soon as Fxygel2 post's any thread. It would save us from typing it everytime. (and he might listen)

I think the reason why i havent done this yet, is because I would feel guilty doing so. But dont worry, the guilt is gradually wearing off, as I'm realizing that relationships arent a contract, and may become broken at any time.
 
fear of failure is a terrible thing. It will hold your whole life back.

I wish you could believe how many times i've been rejected, yet i'm still a functional, normal human being with a fettish for butt plugs and tossing salad.........perfectly normal.

Rejection is a part of life. You need to deal with it.
 
vinylgroover said:
fear of failure is a terrible thing. It will hold your whole life back.

I wish you could believe how many times i've been rejected, yet i'm still a functional, normal human being with a fettish for butt plugs and tossing salad.........perfectly normal.

Rejection is a part of life. You need to deal with it.

You are right. Come this Saturday, I think I am going to ask this really cute girl on a date (if I see her at this party)
 
fyxgel2 said:
You are right. Come this Saturday, I think I am going to ask this really cute girl on a date (if I see her at this party)
go get em', Tiger!
 
This is what you need, Quit making excuses...........................



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