I Am Such A Lying Asshole!!! Please Read!!!!!!

[Bigty2]

EVERYBODY PLEASE READ!!!!!!!! IT IS VERY IMPORTANT!!!!!
YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS!!!!!!!!!!! I NEED SOME ADVICE!!


For the past two years I have been dating this girl. She is beautiful, smart, funny and I absolutely love her. What she doesn't know is that I have been lying to her since day one. Not only about steroids which she absolutely hates. I've been lying to her about steroids, talking with women on sex chat lines and where I go and who I'm with. I thought I wanted to marry her and she has stuck by me through a lot of stuff, but I can't quit the lies or the steroids. If my family knew anything that I did they would never talk to me again. I am ruining my life and everything that I knew and loved is gone. I lead a double life and I'm afraid that all my lies and horrible choices I've made are going to send me straight to hell. Nobody knows who I really am and I've heard a lot of people say that there is just something completely weird about me when they first meet me. Nobody is able to put their fingers on it, but I think that it is because I am a liar and a cheat and I will never let anybody know what I really do or who I really am. I will never let them know this because I am a horrible person. I try to make my girlfriend, x-girlfriend now, feel guilty when she told me that I am hiding something from her. I call her names like a "fucking hore" when she confronts me about the lies. I fear that I am destined to live a lonley, unfullfilling life. I will always beable to get the women, get laid, and get the steroids, but I have lost the one thing that I thought I held so dear in my life, my best-friend. I have hurt her, deeper than I can even imagine. I have lied and told her that I changed and no more lies, no more steroids, no more women; but the whole time I have been lying. I keep on doing what I guess is truly important to me since it's what I kept on doing even though I knew that I could loose her. I didn't think she would really leave me, but she did and I know she's never coming back! And my family is going to find out about everything, I don't know how but they will. I will loose all the respect of my father and my sister. When they look at me it won't be with the same look in their eyes. It will be with disbelief, anger, disappointment. When my niece that I love so much, grows up I will look at her and know that I don't deserve any love or affection from her, because I am truly a wicked person. I have no intentions of changing. I love what I do. I love getting away with stuff and keeping stuff from the people that I love. I don't care how badly I hurt my family or the woman that I wanted to marry and spend the rest of my life with. I'm a liar, I will always be a liar. But I guess thats okay, because I will always have this discussion board, my steroids, and my sex chat lines. Those are the things that truly make me happy. I don't know what I was ever thinking when I went on a mission and didn't lie to my family and people I love. The way my life is now is how it's supposed to be. Lies, sin, and deceifulness. Andrea was always too wrong for me. She loved me, she was beautiful (I'm not just saying that, she truly is beautiful) She could have her choice of men, but she was with me. She was incredibly smart, (not as smart as I thought since I've been able to keep so much from her until now) independent, strong, and funny. I loved being with her. I loved holding her while we slept. Feeling her when we made love. Making plans with her. I know that whatever she does in life she will end up succesful, and happy. I guess she was just too wrong for me. Maybe there is somebody out there that has all of those qualities and I'll be able to lie to them forever. Maybe I could keep it from them until I die, or go to hell which ever comes first. The one thing that I have learned from all of this is that: It is hard work lying to everyone that I know. It's hard remembering what lie I told to who. I also know that it is all worth it because I am tall, dark, handsome and with the help of steroids I have a great body. What women wouldn't want me?????? I'm a stud, right????

 

[D00fy]

stfu and go smoke a blunt:/

 

[frankenfurter]

Advice

Since this is a diet discussion board, my advice to you is to up your protein intake, get some more good fats in your diet, and watch the simple carbohydrates.

Good luck with that other stuff, though.

 

[osamasdaddy]

Bgty2,
You should'nt be put in a situation, or put yourself in a situation, that you feel you have to lie. The only way to live a happy fulfilling life is to do it honestly.
Sooooo, if steroids and internet porn(which I don't get because I can't get a nut on it) are in your life and you want them to stay there then you have to be open about that, because as you can see, it is much more damaging for you to try and hide it all the time.
Why not find someone that shares your interests or at least does'nt try to make you feel like some kind of pervert.

I'm not suggesting using this as a pickup line or anything but your personal life is always going to be up for discussion in an comitted relationship.

No relationship warrants the "commitment" phase until all the skeletons are out of the closet and she still loves YOU, not what she thought you were.
That is also unfair to her. That's where your guilt comes from.

Now be fair to yourself and don't do things that you know you'll have to lie about later. If you choose a comitted relationship it will have to be with a woman that you know you can answer those probing questions truthfuly with. If she doesn't like it, tough shit, that's who you are.
Why not "nip it in the bud" in the next relationship and just discuss it with her when it looks like it's going to get to that point later? Tell her that you want to have an open relationship(chicks love that stuff) and you want her to understand and love who you are because you lover her so much(More puntang points).

Sounds like the people around you are wanting to see a different person than the one you really are. You don't want to dissapoint them so you pretend along with them and you have to lie all the time.
If THEY choose to confront you point-blank and they don't like what they find, that's their problem. You have to live your life and enjoy it to the fullest. Nobody but you can ensure that you are.
If you handle relationships this way you might dissapoint them but you won't have to dissapoint yourself in the process.

Now, enjoy just being you and get approval from YOURSELF before you look to others for it.
Get a new goal to reach for and hit the gym.

 

[latinoheat6u]

Hey,
Bigty2 it sounds like you need some help. I feel like I can relate to you in some ways. I bet you really want to change and all these things really dosen't make you happy. I see avoid in your life that your trying to fill with evil lust, lies, and drug use......you use those things to enhance your life. I know deep down inside your find these things very disturbing and embrasing. You want to stop but, can't seem to.......Bigty2 your like a drug addict that no matter what you want to do your not in control. Tell me one thing is this all worth it? Everything you have done or will do is wrong....there's some good news though!!! You can change your life and go to God but, you have to let him in........ you got to really want it. I changed and my family. People tried for years to change my parents lifes. They were drug addicts and were born into broken homes. All ours lifes we were surounded by negatives. I can still remeber the nights of fighting, walking in on my dad passed out from an over dose, waking up at 2 a.m. wondering were my parents were, visiting my dad in prision, the fights and gun shots bickering at our house, my mom seeing other guys, and police breaking into our grandmas house looking for my mom or dad ect. I can go on for ever. All this was a thing of the past since God saved us. He changed us.... to this day poeple look at us and can't believe that we made it. Were totally different poeple now. If they can change so, can you. Of course it's not going to be easy and you will have your doubts, but any thing that is easy is most likely not good for you. Please give God a try. You'd wish you would of done it sooner.

"The biggest problem with humanity today is not about the physical but has to do with the mental." -Me

 

[HumanShell]

Do your family and the world a favor and off yourself before you flip out and go on a rampage you wanna-be 007.

 

[Island Son]

EVERYBODY PLEASE READ!!!!!!!! IT IS VERY IMPORTANT!!!!!
YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS!!!!!!!!!!! I NEED SOME ADVICE!!

... so if you're happy, what advice did you want? A sex chat line where the women talk dirty about food?
"C'mon big boy, whatcha gonna with your asparagus? Wanna put it in some butter? Yeah baby, full creamy butter all ooey gooey mmm"

 

[Blood&Iron]

What the hell does this have to do with dieting?

 

[PinK233]

Loser

 

[Tha One CrumCake]

Are you on FUCKING crack?

 

[enrage]

seek professional Help. u need therapy and your mentally addicted to "needing" roids.

and hore is spelled Whore.

 

[110%]

JERRY JERRY JERRY!

 

[muscle4u]

what the DADDY said

i like what osamasdaddy said (warped to say that by the way!)....and you may want to see a progessional, seriously, cause then you can tell someone honestly and without worry cause they're objective...and then, they also can help you work through your self-esteem issues...