Ok..I confess..I am the Goat...
THE CARTMASTER:
A cart passes through a muddy road through a village. A baby cries. A woman beats a cat.
The cart-master chants wearily as they trudge along: 'Bring me your dead!" He beats occasioanlly on a large triangle with a wooden spoon.
As each person comes forward with his or her dead family member,they throw them on the cart. They pay the cart-master ninepence.
The cart-master starts to put an old man on the cart, the old feeble man yells, "I'm NOT dead!".
The cart-master replies, "Ere! 'E says he ain't dead!"
The old man replies ," I'm not dead. I'm getting better!".
Cart-master:" Well, you'll be stone dead in a moment".
I'd like to finsih but I must get back to my spreadsheet at work....