I am here my children.

[Moses the red sea pedestr]

Pumpkin? I'm a shepherd Jeez not a vegetable farmer

 

[Jesus Christ]

Re: questions

1. Is it true that you got an erection when you were being crucified.

2. is there any truth to the rumor that you were just a paranoid schizoprenic who eventually won enough converts to overthrow the status quo?

3. Why does god give some people gigantic pee-pees and some small ones? i have a friend who is always bothered by his tiny pee-pee, when he sits in the bath he makes high pitched, exasperated whines over the fact that his pee-pee is so small. What should i tell him, and what drugs would you recommend to remedy aforementioned situation.

4. Whats your opinion on the U.N.?

5. How much can you bench?

1) No comment. Eiter way, it's embarrassing.

2) I didn't overthrow anyone. If you'd care to recall, I was crucified.

3) Without the big ones, the small wouldn't be funny. Tell him it'll be okay and give him lots and lots of alcohol and hard narcotics to remedy that.

4) Who?

5) Last I checked I was up to 135lbs for 4.

 

[the nature boy]

I know you two are all-knowing and all that, but I just want to remind you that there is to be no source posting on any of the boards.

*whispers to Jesus and Moses, the slang speaking prophet* Hey, I got these ass warts I picked up from some Maryland skank.... and I was wondering if one of you two could help me out with this. I'd be really greatful. Amen. Shalom. *crosses self and says a hail mary and covers a wine glass and stomps on it* Mozeltov!

 

[Jesus Christ]

Pumpkin? I'm a shepherd Jeez not a vegetable farmer

Cripes Moses, you parted the sea. I don't think a pumpkin is asking for too much. Well, whatever, I'll do your public appearance for a slap on the ass and a sandwich.

 

[Moses the red sea pedestr]

Hey Nature Boy

I see in your location it says West Nile. Which Delta do you hail from Bro. You may know some of my brothers

 

[the nature boy]

Hey Nature Boy

I see in your location it says West Nile. Which Delta do you hail from Bro. You may know some of my brothers

well I hope you don't have any brothers on East Nile because I don't really like those guys. Now that I've got you here... are you really a stickler on the whole pork thing? I really like your religion a lot, but I love ribs. And its safe to eat pork now. Oh yeah, and the fasting thing I don't like either. Is there like a milder form of Judism out there... like Jew Lite?

 

[Nathan]

I for one would like tpo think that compromises can be made in religions. For instance, if eating poork is strictly not allowed, how about compromising and agreeing that eating pork is only not allowed while sleeping? Problem solved. Also, on the fasting deal, they could all agree that during the "fasting" time only licorice and whine gums are allowed....and hard liquer.

 

[Moses the red sea pedestr]

well I hope you don't have any brothers on East Nile because I don't really like those guys. Now that I've got you here... are you really a stickler on the whole pork thing? I really like your religion a lot, but I love ribs. And its safe to eat pork now. Oh yeah, and the fasting thing I don't like either. Is there like a milder form of Judism out there... like Jew Lite?

If it's cooked long enough, pork is ok, but it needs to be throroughly cooked through. The only reason my brothers went off the pork was due to salmonella, nothing to do with religion. It needs to be cooked all the way through.

How did i look in Ten Commandments. Was that the physique of someone who fasts?

 

[Nathan]

If it's cooked long enough, pork is ok, but it needs to be throroughly cooked through. The only reason my brothers went off the pork was due to salmonella, nothing to do with religion. It needs to be cooked all the way through.

How did i look in Ten Commandments. Was that the physique of someone who fasts?

Don't be so hard on yourself. You totally looked emaciated.

 

[bwood]

Buddha told me that you didnt exist???





wtf didnt i think of this???