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TwiceAsNice
New member
I have read all everyone responses to waht he has to say.Now let me clarify a few things right here and now. What diesel did forget to tell you is that he strung me along for 8months. I would bring the subject up of marrige but i would never pressure him as he so nicely put. Yes i agree with most of you my actions make me feel like a whore. I regret everything i everthing did wrong to diesel420. He never deserved it. But what he also failed to tell you is that we have been broken up since Jan it is now Apr. "Bob" was there and saw all the pain that i was going through. "Bob" lied to me repeatedly about he was cheating on me and he was seeing other woman after diesel420 told me that he didnt want a girlfriend. Yes i did have alot of personal problems that affected our relationship. And he knew that since day one. I never forced diesel to stay with me he chose that. On sept 11 (yes the day of the WTC) we broke up because he didnt kno what he wanted. I told him that because of the fact that i have a 2year old son that he needs to know what he truly wanted out of our relationship. Because i loved him and wanted him to help me raise my son as he is (hoped that made sense) WE THEN GOT BACK TOGETHER. Granted i did say that i wanted to just be carefree with him, but he chose to come back. His feelings intensified when another man made their feelings known to me and it was not "BoB" it was somone from my job (i never cheated cuz diesel i love) then he got all into me telling me he loved me and HE TOOK THE RELATIONSHip to the next level. not me I just wanted to be carefree. But really folks how can you be caefree when someone is head over heels in love with the other, and the others feelings have escalated because of "his" territory. Im not saying im an angel here. In fact i deserved every name that he has called me and the spray (not a loogie he so nicely exaggerated)of his spit in my face. You all have a right to your own opinion as do i to help you all understand both sides. For those of you who want to know how i feel ..Like shit. "Bob" spouted all these things to me, wrote me poetry and told me he loved me..when "bob" was asked why he loved me it was always met with silence. (should have told me something shouldnt it?) prayed on my weakness and vulnerabilty and then told me that he did it all for revenge because 2yrs ago Diesel420 did the same thing to "Bob". so diesel here is no angel either. but you know thats in the past upon confronting "bob" he sat there nad denied everything telling diesel that im psycho and this was all a lie. when that bastard stood there and had his little sick twisted grin on his face.For "Bob"destroyed something that was pure. but i did help. Im not saying that i am right here 100% because it takes two to tango and i danced all over my heart and diesels for some man who just wanted a piece of ass (by the way "bob" has hard time finding women because he has no self esteem. and no ballz to go and approach them) and revengeand told me that he has been plotting this for the last few months and i fell right into his trap. Please my actions may make all of you including diesel that i dont love him. but i do with all my heart and i always will. he never deserved what happened to him nd if i could i would turn back time and correct this entire situation. But i cant Im facing my mistakes and tryig to continue my life without diesel but for all of you who have been in love before know that its easier said than done. I now have to live with the fact that because of my actions i will never feel the love thatt diesel showered upon me again. and it fucking hurts and im a whore. i never stood there that night and said i dont know when he confronted me he ask how long did you think you can keep this a secret then i said i dont know diesel then asked if was true and i said YES. i never lied to him that night on the balcony. Matter of fact i wish he did hit me. I wish he hit "bob" because "bob" lied to me and used me to get back at diesel. I am sorry that this is not about anabolics or about training. I do read his posts because i dont like the fact that he is doing these things and i check this board to make sure he is ok.(although he is looking damn good)When i saw his posts i thought that maybe you guys wanted to hear both sides rather than just one. Please everyone know I will die loving diesel. No man will ever replace him. he was the love of my life and i told him that a long time ago. It was HIS choice to stay with me. and as far as him having hotter he only had 2 others girls besides me and beleive me im into chics and they werent all that. Thank you for reading my post and im sorry once again for taking up precious space and time. 
~Blue
~Blue
