how many fo you have asked out a friend?

[danielson]

...who's part of a large group of friends you're also part of?

im just curious as to what the success rate was, 2 friends (aquaintances really) hooked up after 3 years, he finally told her when drunk, then after she took her time thinking about it and him pushing with flowers and dinners she finally relented being so flattered.

as always there is this one girl, and its become obvious to almost everyone I like her......so do i go for it, ask her out and keep pushing with the whole flattery thing or just wait and let her friends eventually tell her and let her make her mind up? option 2 is the easy way out but it stops me making an ass of myself if i get a 'no'...the only downside is i have no idea whether her friends will support my move, they all have said im a 'nice sweet guy'....but we all know the connotations when a girl says that. there is also the possibility one of her friends likes me too, and another who seems increasingly resentful of the attention i fawn on her

she;s never been asked out before, no bf's, no guys period....so i have no idea whether she would say yes if she even wanted to....and in terms of body contact, after initially touching me, she now never hugs me and any contact is restricted to light touching (i seem to be holding her more). we get on REALLY well on a mental level....but she;s never suggested anything more than frendship but has said nice things about me wth some prompting. and she;s into weights! and martial arts! and always wants to train with me! and cooks for me (and anyone else)! and has some sense of honour!(cannot let this one slip!!!)



i wonder if sometime in my adult life i will ever figure out women.....i think it will be 5 minutes before death knowing my fucking luck

 

[Babbabooeytwo]

Shit, quit thinking about it and just do it. Sometimes if you want something you just have to make it happen.

...who's part of a large group of friends you're also part of?

im just curious as to what the success rate was, 2 friends (aquaintances really) hooked up after 3 years, he finally told her when drunk, then after she took her time thinking about it and him pushing with flowers and dinners she finally relented being so flattered.

as always there is this one girl, and its become obvious to almost everyone I like her......so do i go for it, ask her out and keep pushing with the whole flattery thing or just wait and let her friends eventually tell her and let her make her mind up? option 2 is the easy way out but it stops me making an ass of myself if i get a 'no'...the only downside is i have no idea whether her friends will support my move, they all have said im a 'nice sweet guy'....but we all know the connotations when a girl says that. there is also the possibility one of her friends likes me too, and another who seems increasingly resentful of the attention i fawn on her

she;s never been asked out before, no bf's, no guys period....so i have no idea whether she would say yes if she even wanted to....and in terms of body contact, after initially touching me, she now never hugs me and any contact is restricted to light touching (i seem to be holding her more). we get on REALLY well on a mental level....but she;s never suggested anything more than frendship but has said nice things about me wth some prompting. and she;s into weights! and martial arts! and always wants to train with me! and cooks for me (and anyone else)! and has some sense of honour!(cannot let this one slip!!!)



i wonder if sometime in my adult life i will ever figure out women.....i think it will be 5 minutes before death knowing my fucking luck

 

[Wynn]

Take the plunge man.

 

[Gambino]

Flatter and make your presence known...then study the reaction. Even if their is only minimal positive reaction, continue the pursuit. If she is outright cold to you, back off for a second then gently remind her in a week or two. Make an ass out of yourself if that is what it takes, nothing sucks more than regret...

 

[ohashi]

"Asked out" = banged?

Then, yes.

 

[danielson]

well i kinda have to take the plunge soon as blabberng friends will surely tell her soon....so i'll definately do it

its just with us all having similar friends it could make things awkward with others, but fuck it she;s gonna find out soon anyway right?

how do i do it? i asked her to go and see David Blaine and she agreed but then asked lots of other people (who refused) so we went on our own...problem is anytime I ask her somewhere 1 on 1 she asks other people...

so asking for a date might not be good....but i have serious reservations telling her what I actually think about her because it may freak her out and she'll back off. but writing a letter is an easy way for her to refuse.....help! anytme i have gone out with a girl i just asked her out to a film or meal, what the fuck do i do now?!?

 

[tiger88]

i have a few times....go for it....

 

[Deleted member 33117]

danielson, I think she has some deeper issues that she isn't talking about from what you have said. She isn't comfortable being with anyone in a relationship. Take is very slow with this one, and just keep doing what you are doing. She might warm up to you eventually.

 

[Gambino]

If she is one of those girls who is the quiet type (sounds like she is) maybe a event such as a concert, show, etc. would be a better scene than one-on-one dinner and movie shit...if it takes a few other people around to make her comfortable, roll with it and then weed the pack out the more comfortable she gets

 

[danielson]

danielson, I think she has some deeper issues that she isn't talking about from what you have said. She isn't comfortable being with anyone in a relationship. Take is very slow with this one, and just keep doing what you are doing. She might warm up to you eventually.

by the sounds of it she comes from a very protective family and is tradtional in her values so that might be the reason why, and the fact she hasnt had any guys (still can;t believe it) might support that

i just dunno how long to wait it out, we do so much together (everyday we are doing something) and she makes an effort to do things with me and for me, more so than wth others but at the same time she maintains a distance. its weird, i get the impression when a hug etc is appropriate she wants to go for it but is being held back

either way she's worth it....i'll bide my time for a bit longer and do some more groundwork with friends to see what she thinks of me....problem is i have one female friend who seems to now resent me for spending so much time with another girl, and another who has recently become more friendly with me (which is cool as she's amazing) as well both of whom are friends with her

Gambino, we do go out in groups a lot, i just gotta start weeding out the others. problem is the best day for it (weekends) are when she goes and see's her family and they get upset if she doesnt go

 

[danielson]

just got told she wont date a guy unless she;s gonna marry him and her family wont let her do that unless they have chosen him

in addition to which he has to be the same religion and while ours are related there is gonna be no comprimise on this apparently

and she cares for her family to much to not disobey them. which sucks because she is ABSOLUTELY amazing in looks and personality, easily in the 1% all women think they are in (prolly because she's never needed to be bitchy having never been with a guy)

she is getting married at 23. shes 21 now. fuck.....this one was REALLY worth it too and some fucking chump she;s never met is gonna have her ....

 

[Taps]

FIrst things first. You have too much emotion invested in this girl, which is not especially a good thing when you arn't dating her yet. So chill out, and quit over-analyzing everything. Seriously, the biggest mistake you can make is thinking too much.

Secondly, no disrespect to her family or religion, but arranged marrige is a stupid and outdated custom. Chances are she realizes this and isnt too too keen on the idea. So don't start freaking that she's going to be hitched in 2 years.

Thirdly, follow the advice of everyone on this thread and ask her out already. Do it offhand and don't be too serious about it, but make it clear you're interesed in more than friendship. If she turns you down be cool and take it in stride.

good luck dude

 

[borg4902]

Ok i hope ya got a pen cause ive been there almost exactly where you are right now. Correct me if I am wrong but it sounds like to me your are completely in love with this girl, plus she is like your best friend which is what makes it so damn hard to tell her how you feel because so much could be lost. Day after day go by the two of you hang out and you keep holding on to the thought that mabey she feels the exact same way you do and it will just happen naturally without anyone having to confess their truths. So heres the deal the longer you wait the deeper you fall trust me just get it over with that magical moment will probably never happen unless you make it happen take a chance you have everything to loose but at the sametime everything to gain. Tell her... If its love everything with the parents and every other aspect will fall to the wayside, and ya know what if she dosent feel that way at least its over with, it will be a weight off your chest and you will move on to find the one for you."Everything happens for a reason."