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MarthaStewart
New member
I guess it must either be something I ate, all the running I've been doing, or my Ebola is flaring up again.
But I have had the liquid shits from hell lately.
For instance, today - just a few minutes ago, I was sitting here, typing out nonsense and all of the sudden I heard a bubbling sound that was if a gurgling demon was fighting his way out of my belly - and the fucker was taking the easiest route out - through my puckered asshole.
Sure enough, after I bolted into the bathroom and tore off my shorts and leaned my ass onto the cold yet cracked porcelain god that we have in my office, my bowels issued forth with their imitation of a bulemic girl trying out for the eating disorder Olympics.
Vile and disgusting matter that smelled of evil poured fourth out of my shocked rectum, splashing forth over the quickly sullied water below.
On the good side - it doesn't take long to completely empty several feet of your colon when it is entirely the consistency of melted milk shakes.
The sphincter that makes up my puckered ass had no clue what just happened - it was grasping blindly at the air before it, somehow wondering why it couldn't fufill its normal duties, like a little lost blind child trying to cling to a tree for safety, but that tree has long since been torn up in a storm and blown away.
I unrolled the entire roll of paper towels and just crammed as much of it as I could into my pants and then waddled my way back to my desk - in complete denial of what happened - yet with a lurking suspicion that this could get much worse and this day is indeed not ever yet.
But I have had the liquid shits from hell lately.
For instance, today - just a few minutes ago, I was sitting here, typing out nonsense and all of the sudden I heard a bubbling sound that was if a gurgling demon was fighting his way out of my belly - and the fucker was taking the easiest route out - through my puckered asshole.
Sure enough, after I bolted into the bathroom and tore off my shorts and leaned my ass onto the cold yet cracked porcelain god that we have in my office, my bowels issued forth with their imitation of a bulemic girl trying out for the eating disorder Olympics.
Vile and disgusting matter that smelled of evil poured fourth out of my shocked rectum, splashing forth over the quickly sullied water below.
On the good side - it doesn't take long to completely empty several feet of your colon when it is entirely the consistency of melted milk shakes.
The sphincter that makes up my puckered ass had no clue what just happened - it was grasping blindly at the air before it, somehow wondering why it couldn't fufill its normal duties, like a little lost blind child trying to cling to a tree for safety, but that tree has long since been torn up in a storm and blown away.
I unrolled the entire roll of paper towels and just crammed as much of it as I could into my pants and then waddled my way back to my desk - in complete denial of what happened - yet with a lurking suspicion that this could get much worse and this day is indeed not ever yet.
