How are you? post humorous response

[Blue Star]

My responses to following questions or polite convos:

Hi, how are you?

I am ok but id feel a lot better if this was June and was graduation with 2:1 honours.

Why are you wearing 2 watches?

It was either that or come to uni dressed in a bra n thong, this (the watches) is easier to maintain.

It'd b nice to hear ur witty responses, to any questions youve been asked.

 

[Raina]

I'd smile and say great. But me and the person asking would know that was a lie.

Then everything would freeze frame while we laughed.

 

[Rex]

Not witty but...

<While watching Jarhead in theaters>

My buddy: I think he dies his last day in Iraq. How about you?
Me: It's an autobiography. I think he lived to tell about it, dumbass.

 

[wootoom]

im str8

 

[blut wump]

"Oh, hi" said Hi to Ho.
"Hi" said Ho, reproachfully.

 

[Delinquent]

I've always wanted to tell someone the truth when they ask how I'm doing. Since I work in a retail store, I ask and get asked all the time. Just yesterday, someone asked me how I was doing. After I said the normal fine how are you bit, I thought about their reaction if I would have said "well actually I am having the worse year of my life, how about you?"

 

[rsnoble-im-back]

Currently I am moderately neato.

 

[Buddy_Christ]

When asked by a Jehovas Witness if I had heard the "word of God" lately.

"Heard it? Shit, god screams my name when I fuck him in the ass."

Then I decapitated that fucking worthless piece of shit and ate his brains.

 

[silverbackn]

When asked by a Jehovas Witness if I had heard the "word of God" lately.

"Heard it? Shit, god screams my name when I fuck him in the ass."

Then I decapitated that fucking worthless piece of shit and ate his brains.

........sad