Hooking up for the money, worth it?

[Megalomaniac]

So I am talking to my sister yesterday about how I hate money. She is 34 and has been single most of her life. About 3 years ago she moved in with a guy and now they split bills. He makes more than her but they both pull their weight and she tells me how big of difference it has been having two incomes. It almost makes it worth it to tolerate someone even if they are perfect for you just to live the better lifestyle. Does anyone else agree?

 

[nycgirl]

I would get a 2nd and, if necessary, a 3rd job before I did that or get a roommate. I'm not "playing house" for the hell of it.

 

[chefbone]

It may be worth it. Are they a "couple"? If they are not, one drunken night could make things very complicated!!!

 

[GoldenDelicious]

hang on, is there sex or not? and if so, is it to satify a mutual need, or is she puttin gup with it?

personally, im with nyc.

 

[Megalomaniac]

Ya they are a couple, probably not the ideal couple but they both get along and meet each others needs for the time being. That is what I'm saying, they make it work for the benefit of each other. I'm not talking two rednecks hooking up to buy a big screen for their trailier here. My sis has a PHD and he has two.

 

[Megalomaniac]

I would get a 2nd and, if necessary, a 3rd job before I did that or get a roommate. I'm not "playing house" for the hell of it.

I understand your point but here is my angle. With my job I am never around, when I am I don't have a lot of time to focus on a relationship. It seems kind of stupid for me to eat all the costs of living(nice place, nice car, nice stuff) when I don't use them very much. On the other hand I do want them there when I am around. I have great health beni's, get paid more when married, get better tax breaks, and many other benefits for someone else. Does any of this change the picture?

 

[nycgirl]

Ya they are a couple, probably not the ideal couple but they both get along and meet each others needs for the time being. That is what I'm saying, they make it work for the benefit of each other. I'm not talking two rednecks hooking up to buy a big screen for their trailier here. My sis has a PHD and he has two.

I still wouldn't "play house." I definitely wouldn't be in a relationship with someone that wasn't "Ideal" for me so I can double my savings. I can survive on my own. If that means making sacrifices, so be it.

Why not just get a roommate?

 

[chefbone]

I understand your point but here is my angle. With my job I am never around, when I am I don't have a lot of time to focus on a relationship. It seems kind of stupid for me to eat all the costs of living(nice place, nice car, nice stuff) when I don't use them very much. On the other hand I do want them there when I am around. I have great health beni's, get paid more when married, get better tax breaks, and many other benefits for someone else. Does any of this change the picture?

I'll be there one day. I'm glad I'm not locked into a relationship now because I probably wouldn't go as far as I want to within the ARMY.

 

[biteme]

No. I want to keep my options open. I wouldn't marry for money either. What a disgrace.

 

[Megalomaniac]

I still wouldn't "play house." I definitely wouldn't be in a relationship with someone that wasn't "Ideal" for me so I can double my savings. I can survive on my own. If that means making sacrifices, so be it.

Why not just get a roommate?

Definitely an option but if I am going to make the sacrifice my question is why not go all the way. I don't mean just grab someone, obviously they need to be somewhat compatible with me. I just saying why not take the chance, in this day it just seems like that is what people do. Those who don't have to swim up stream it seems.

 

[javaguru]

I'll be there one day. I'm glad I'm not locked into a relationship now because I probably wouldn't go as far as I want to within the ARMY.

I always considered the Army a single man's profession,it used to be that way until the 70's, especially if you're in combat arms. When I enlisted it was common to spend nine months out of the year in the field training; Two month plus field problems were common. Hard to have a successful relationship under those conditions.

 

[nycgirl]

Definitely an option but if I am going to make the sacrifice my question is why not go all the way. I don't mean just grab someone, obviously they need to be somewhat compatible with me. I just saying why not take the chance, in this day it just seems like that is what people do. Those who don't have to swim up stream it seems.

Yes, people are doing that with marriages as well. Hence, the high divorce rate.

I don't get the feeling you are talking about a "committed situation." I assume this is a "roommate w/ benefits".

I just can't do that. The day I move in with someone, it will be because I want to build a life with him. Not to increase my 401 (k). Maybe, I'm twisted and like to make my life more difficult than it has to be. I don't know. I rather make the sacrifices. That's just me.

Would you be happy?

 

[Megalomaniac]

No. I want to keep my options open. I wouldn't marry for money either. What a disgrace.

Well I'm pushing mid 30's so I really don't care about love at this point. Meaning the fact that I am doubtfully going to grow with someone a lot at this point, especially considering I will probably spend at least 6-8 months out of each year gone for the next 10 years.

 

[biteme]

Yes, people are doing that with marriages as well. Hence, the high divorce rate.

I don't get the feeling you are talking about a "committed situation." I assume this is a "roommate w/ benefits".

I just can't do that. The day I move on with someone, it will be because I want to build a life with him. Not to increase my 401 (k). Maybe, I'm twisted and like to make my life more difficult than it has to be. I don't know. I rather make the sacrifices. That's just me.

Would you be happy?

That's why I'm still single after 7 years. I've been on lots of dates, some they liked me more than I liked them and vice versa. I will not settle because I'd be happier alone than to settle with someone. It's hard enough to live with someone as it is.

 

[Megalomaniac]

Yes, people are doing that with marriages as well. Hence, the high divorce rate.

I don't get the feeling you are talking about a "committed situation." I assume this is a "roommate w/ benefits".

I just can't do that. The day I move on with someone, it will be because I want to build a life with him. Not to increase my 401 (k). Maybe, I'm twisted and like to make my life more difficult than it has to be. I don't know. I rather make the sacrifices. That's just me.

Would you be happy?

Ya I totally agree, that is why I am single at this age. lmao at 'happy', what language is that word? I speak 4 and don't recognize it.

 

[biteme]

Well I'm pushing mid 30's so I really don't care about love at this point. Meaning the fact that I am doubtfully going to grow with someone a lot at this point, especially considering I will probably spend at least 6-8 months out of each year gone for the next 10 years.

Since love is not important at this point, have you considered getting a foreign bride. LOL. Nevermind, you'd have to support their ass more than likely.

 

[GoldenDelicious]

3 things are relevent here:

1) havng sex with someone for financial gain, however indirect, smacks of prostitution. i dont like that, and so wouldnt do it.

2) living in such conditions makes it difficult to cultivate independently viable relationships with other partners - i wouldnt think that the financial gain was worth that, and so again, wouldnt do it

3) when you have sex with someone and live as a couple, regardelss of how compatible you are, you start to form bonds with that person. i wouldnt want to start tying my heart to someone i dont ultimately want (since untangling myself would take a toll) and so again, i wouldnt want to find myself in that situation for the sake of saving some money

apart from that, if it were a truly platonic relationship with a person you had as a tax break, and you mutually giggled about ripping off the government while doing it, and leading viable, independent lives...then its alright (good luck pulling it off though)

 

[Frisky]

definitely not

 

[Megalomaniac]

Since love is not important at this point, have you considered getting a foreign bride. LOL. Nevermind, you'd have to support their ass more than likely.

Ya that is another option for me. I will be in asia and they can't eat much so how much could she really cost me? j/k

 

[nycgirl]

Ya that is another option for me. I will be in asia and they can't eat much so how much could she really cost me? j/k

Yes, I was told I need to bring extra cash next time I get taken out to dinner because I eat a lot.

 

[Megalomaniac]

Yes, I was told I need to bring extra cash next time I get taken out to dinner because I eat a lot.

something for me to consider: If I am hookin up for the money, don't hook up with someone who eats like NYCGIRL.

 

[biteme]

something for me to consider: If I am hookin up for the money, don't hook up with someone who eats like NYCGIRL.

My teenager daughter spends more money on food each day than I do. If I find out she's taking the lunch money I give her and spending it on cigarettes, I'm gonna be livid.

 

[MattTheSkywalker]

I think this as clear as day:

you don't get seriously invovled with someone else until you can support yourself fully.

 

[Megalomaniac]

My teenager daughter spends more money on food each day than I do. If I find out she's taking the lunch money I give her and spending it on cigarettes, I'm gonna be livid.

That is awesome, I remember those days when I would rip my parents off like that. My mom has a change jar and I would sneak in and take all the quarters and fifty-cent pieces. Watch your piggy bank.

 

[musclemom]

I understand your point but here is my angle. With my job I am never around, when I am I don't have a lot of time to focus on a relationship. It seems kind of stupid for me to eat all the costs of living(nice place, nice car, nice stuff) when I don't use them very much. On the other hand I do want them there when I am around. I have great health beni's, get paid more when married, get better tax breaks, and many other benefits for someone else. Does any of this change the picture?

I'm throwing in with GoldenD here ... I really think marrying someone you don't love -- but maybe want to screw occasionally -- will turn out badly in the long haul, and you're talking about taking on this plan FOR the PURPOSE of acquiring real estate and goods ... bad, bad, ugly. Sounds like what many marriages DE-volve into just before divorce. Trust me, you can remain married to someone you aren't in love with for a LOOOOOOONG time, but sooner or late, it gets ugly and you want them dead.

IMO, much better/safer to make friends with a lesbian or a woman you will NEVER EVER want to sleep with, and lay out a plan of attack. Have a lawyer draw up a mutually agreeable prenup THEN get married, you each have your "friends," but you have a "marital" business relationship.

(You know, come to think of it, maybe that's why the government doesn't want to allow gay marriage, straight people with no time/inclination to invest in a relationship would get married to buddies for tax breaks).

 

[biteme]

That is awesome, I remember those days when I would rip my parents off like that. My mom has a change jar and I would sneak in and take all the quarters and fifty-cent pieces. Watch your piggy bank.

Thanks for reminding me. That's where all my quarters went. I probably have 4 or 5 dollars a week of change that I throw down on my dresser. I bet she's dipping into it, cause there's hardly anthing there and there should be at least 20 to 30 bucks.

 

[Megalomaniac]

I'm throwing in with GoldenD here ... I really think marrying someone you don't love -- but maybe want to screw occasionally -- will turn out badly in the long haul, and you're talking about taking on this plan FOR the PURPOSE of acquiring real estate and goods ... bad, bad, ugly. Sounds like what many marriages DE-volve into just before divorce. Trust me, you can remain married to someone you aren't in love with for a LOOOOOOONG time, but sooner or late, it gets ugly and you want them dead.

IMO, much better/safer to make friends with a lesbian or a woman you will NEVER EVER want to sleep with, and lay out a plan of attack. Have a lawyer draw up a mutually agreeable prenup THEN get married, you each have your "friends," but you have a "marital" business relationship.

(You know, come to think of it, maybe that's why the government doesn't want to allow gay marriage, straight people with no time/inclination to invest in a relationship would get married to buddies for tax breaks).

That is a great plan imo. Do you know any?

 

[Megalomaniac]

Thanks for reminding me. That's where all my quarters went. I probably have 4 or 5 dollars a week of change that I throw down on my dresser. I bet she's dipping into it, cause there's hardly anthing there and there should be at least 20 to 30 bucks.

I love kids for things like that! They do dumb crap all the time, get us to underestimate them and then bam, all the quarters are gone! I would do something like this:

bait the quartes for the next week or two, then when the total is like 10 bucks or so take her out to lunch and hand her the check at the end. She will look at you like 'what', just tell her to pay with the quarters she took from you!(joking of course) I think it shows she isn't smarter than you and you then you get to joke with her as you pay for the lunch you enjoyed with your daughter. Just watch the encouraging deception part!

 

[MattTheSkywalker]

(You know, come to think of it, maybe that's why the government doesn't want to allow gay marriage, straight people with no time/inclination to invest in a relationship would get married to buddies for tax breaks).

wow, a rare insight from you.

The anti-gay marrigae lobby is mostly businesses, because businesses who do offer same sex benefits have found that single straight men and women are signing up their buddies who are unemployed or do not have benefits.

 

[musclemom]

That is a great plan imo. Do you know any?

She doesn't HAVE to be gay (it just simplifies things) just a woman you can absolutely, positively not become involved with physically.

I dunno, how about running a personal ad? Hell, post up here on the boards!

 

[Megalomaniac]

She doesn't HAVE to be gay (it just simplifies things) just a woman you can absolutely, positively not become involved with physically.

I dunno, how about running a personal ad? Hell, post up here on the boards!

What do you think this thread was? j/k

MTS I have alway felt that is the heart of the gov. anti-same sex marriage standpoint. I feel they use the religion as a base but it really comes down to money like everything in todays gov. Being a single guy, I've watched this issue closely and now that are a real concern for me I am looking for solutions like you previously stated.

 

[HiDnGoD]

I still wouldn't "play house." I definitely wouldn't be in a relationship with someone that wasn't "Ideal" for me so I can double my savings. I can survive on my own. If that means making sacrifices, so be it.
Why not just get a roommate?

If I didn't love someone, I couldn't put up with their idiosyncracies. And they wouldn't put up with mine, so, no.

 

[Island Son]

i'd do it if a lack of education, situation, family, country etc etc left me with other means of support. It'd be a conscious decision to love & support for the sake of survival.

but i don't have to, so i wouldn't.