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Hitting your children
- Thread starter stilleto
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Destroyer1986*
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Man im italian and got belted with an open hand all the time on the bottom. I was a little smart ass and I deserved it, I would do the same to my children. Only to the boy but, let the mother hit the girl 
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Destroyer1986*
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Spanky11 said:
A child needs discipline in their life, you dont want to give it to them they will run a muck. I've seen it before.
Destroyer1986*
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Spanky11 said:
You dont condone violence yet your name is spanky?
I was hit as a child but not belted into submission there is a difference. A hit on the bottom can be just as effective. Try that supernanny crap with a rampaging 5year old see if he really listens.
Bikini Mod
New member
I do concede that there are some children that do not NEED corporal punishment. I have four children. Only the oldest seems to WANT it. I think I have spanked my youngest (who is 9) maybe once, if that. The middle two may have been spanked perhaps twice or three times (they are nearly 11 and 12).
My oldest got a right proper ass-whooping Friday night. She is 13. She asked for it and believe me when I tell you that it was THE BEST thing I could have done for the child. It was like I got "my old" child back.
I do not yell, scream, degrade or belittle ever and I do not condone violence. There is a difference between a parent meting out punishment and an adult hitting another.
I never ever want to raise a hand to any of my children again. But if I have to - I WILL. Had I been able to properly parent these past few years, my oldest would never have had to have been spanked.
As I said - not ALL children need this sort of discipline. It should never be the first choice but only a last resort. Should be handled calmly - never out of anger. It is not a quick fix solution. Anyone who thinks it is, is in for a rude awakening.
My oldest got a right proper ass-whooping Friday night. She is 13. She asked for it and believe me when I tell you that it was THE BEST thing I could have done for the child. It was like I got "my old" child back.
I do not yell, scream, degrade or belittle ever and I do not condone violence. There is a difference between a parent meting out punishment and an adult hitting another.
I never ever want to raise a hand to any of my children again. But if I have to - I WILL. Had I been able to properly parent these past few years, my oldest would never have had to have been spanked.
As I said - not ALL children need this sort of discipline. It should never be the first choice but only a last resort. Should be handled calmly - never out of anger. It is not a quick fix solution. Anyone who thinks it is, is in for a rude awakening.
It would always be my last resort after I exhausted all other options of discipline. I got a smack on the ass as kid every now and then. I think I turned out all right so I don’t see anything wrong with it. There are way too many kids these days that are just absolutely out of control. I think a lot of the times parents are afraid to discipline there kids for a variety of reasons that is why there is so many little monsters running around.
Destroyer1986*
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superqt4u2nv said:
They are afraid to smack their kids because of fear of their children hating them. I hated my parents for hitting me but got over it the very next day.
Not only that but a lot of parents feel a lot of guilt about working long hours and stuff. So the time they spend with there children they try to make as special as possible and let things bad behaviour pass.Destroyer1986* said:
Also I think just a smack on the ass with your hand is more then enough. Getting an object and doing it is a little over the line. Although my Mom would hit with a shoe on a very rare occasion. It actually make me laugh to think about it now.
Bikini Mod
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If you parent properly most children never really need to be hit hard enough for it to truly hurt - more of a warning thing. And once a child is old enough to think properly, there are far more creative ways to discipline... ways that they REALLY hate you for LOL.
Case in point.
My oldest was maybe 4/5. We were allowed to use an acquaintance's shore house for the week. I was always on top of my kids when they were little to make sure they were behaving properly but who can sit on top of them 24/7? There were some things that she was told not to play with. She couldn't resist playing with a sculpture of a fish and accidentally broke a scale off of it. She didn't tell me and then when I realized what she had done I was more upset that she didn't tell me, then tried to lie about it than the fact that she played with it and broke it. I immediately called the owner and told him what the child did - actually put her on the phone and made her explain. Between adults the owner said that the sculpture had no value and it was ok, but that was not the point. So I asked him to tell my daughter how much it would cost for her to pay for the damage. He told her 2$. So I came up with all sorts of chores she could do to earn the money. When she earned the money, I packed her and her sisters up and I had her personally apologize and hand over the money. Even her next two youngest sisters remember that to this day.
LOL to those who dont have children saying. "I will never hit my kids."
Talk to me when your child is living on their own and a productive member of society.
Case in point.
My oldest was maybe 4/5. We were allowed to use an acquaintance's shore house for the week. I was always on top of my kids when they were little to make sure they were behaving properly but who can sit on top of them 24/7? There were some things that she was told not to play with. She couldn't resist playing with a sculpture of a fish and accidentally broke a scale off of it. She didn't tell me and then when I realized what she had done I was more upset that she didn't tell me, then tried to lie about it than the fact that she played with it and broke it. I immediately called the owner and told him what the child did - actually put her on the phone and made her explain. Between adults the owner said that the sculpture had no value and it was ok, but that was not the point. So I asked him to tell my daughter how much it would cost for her to pay for the damage. He told her 2$. So I came up with all sorts of chores she could do to earn the money. When she earned the money, I packed her and her sisters up and I had her personally apologize and hand over the money. Even her next two youngest sisters remember that to this day.
LOL to those who dont have children saying. "I will never hit my kids."
Talk to me when your child is living on their own and a productive member of society.
GoldenDelicious
New member
i smack all my babies, and they all tell me to do it harder
im really confused now
im really confused now
Bikini Mod
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superqt4u2nv said:
Actually I find that using a wooden spoon or a belt is far better than to use my hand. There is far more control and you have less of a chance of truly hurting that child.
They have to bend over and grab their ankles so that only the fleshy part of their rear will get hit. Always behind a closed door. And they are not allowed to cry out... ever.
Destroyer1986*
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BIKINIMOM said:
Here is a tip so no one finds out you have been hitting your child. Grab a phone book place it on their bottom and repetedly hit the phone book with a club.
j/k dont try this sickos
.Bikini Mod
New member
Destroyer1986* said:Here is a tip so no one finds out you have been hitting your child. Grab a phone book place it on their bottom and repetedly hit the phone book with a club.
j/k dont try this sickos
LOL
I went to the pediatrician told him EXACTLY what happened and had the child drop her pants to show him her behind.... hardly a mark on it and believe me when I tell you, I didn't get her with "love taps".
I have never hidden the fact that I discipline my children. Why should I?
Bikini Mod
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I dont work for DYFUS but sadly, I have had a close personal relationship due to numerous false allegations by their father and his family about me beating my children.
When we called the same agency because my daughter had severe bruising on her arm that was consistent with being grabbed as she was trying to "turn away" and another of my children said that he actually grabbed any number of them about the neck on numerous occasions when he was pissed off at them for "acting like your mother" - the case-worker's exact words were:
"Unless we believe the child is in danger of being killed THAT NIGHT - THEY WILL NOT REMOVE THE CHILD FROM THAT PERSON'S CUSTODY."
and
"A certain level of physical discipline is always acceptable."
Thank God they are changing the laws to cut down on all of the nuisance calls like the ones in divorce/custody battles. I dont know when the laws will take affect but if it is found that someone is making obviously false allegations of abuse that person will be held accountable.
Imagine all the man hours that were taken away from children that were truly in need of help because of people that are just trying to work the system? Makes my blood boil that none of these people are going to be held accountable.
When we called the same agency because my daughter had severe bruising on her arm that was consistent with being grabbed as she was trying to "turn away" and another of my children said that he actually grabbed any number of them about the neck on numerous occasions when he was pissed off at them for "acting like your mother" - the case-worker's exact words were:
"Unless we believe the child is in danger of being killed THAT NIGHT - THEY WILL NOT REMOVE THE CHILD FROM THAT PERSON'S CUSTODY."
and
"A certain level of physical discipline is always acceptable."
Thank God they are changing the laws to cut down on all of the nuisance calls like the ones in divorce/custody battles. I dont know when the laws will take affect but if it is found that someone is making obviously false allegations of abuse that person will be held accountable.
Imagine all the man hours that were taken away from children that were truly in need of help because of people that are just trying to work the system? Makes my blood boil that none of these people are going to be held accountable.
I don't believe in hitting a child with anything other than an open hand, on the bottom, and only when its a matter of safety or even disobedience as a small child (child throws something at you, acts overly willful, testing you, etc). I think if a child is so out of hand and rebellous that you need to spank them for any other reason or frequenly, there are greater problems that a spank won't help.
I think if you parent correctly, a spanking shouldn't be necessary after around the age of .. i don't know... 7? 9? something like that.
by that age, they should respect you enough to listen to you, or accept a punishment other than physical.
I think if you parent correctly, a spanking shouldn't be necessary after around the age of .. i don't know... 7? 9? something like that.
by that age, they should respect you enough to listen to you, or accept a punishment other than physical.
Bikini Mod
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stilleto said:
I agree 100%
mightymouse69 said:
once i flipped my mom a bird when she was on the phone and i didnt know she saw me
holy cow, if that phone had been a cordless i would have been beat to death with it
oh my moms used a flyswat too
but u know what i never believed, is when she said "this hurts me alot more than you"
i dont hate her for whipping me because I see that i was being a little bad
but i do know my dad hardly ever whipped me, if ever. Id rather have my mom beat me half to death than my dad do it cuz i guess it embarrassed me if my dad whipped me
Bikini Mod
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stilleto said:
The first time - yes. But after a pattern has developed at what point should the agency stop taking time from the children that are truly being abused and have the people who are only abusing the system disciplined for their wrong-doing?
What if YOUR CHILD was left to fall through the cracks because of this?
If you have ever had any dealings with DYFUS or such an agency you would know how terribly overworked these people are. Most of the time it is utter bullshit. Then you go and read about kids whose emaciated bodies are found in storage tubs. Happens every single day.
Raptorex
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But look how good you turned out. My Mom was an Olympic shoe thrower and could hit me from any room in the house. Even could richocet it off walls to get me
SoKlueles said:
once i flipped my mom a bird when she was on the phone and i didnt know she saw me
holy cow, if that phone had been a cordless i would have been beat to death with it
oh my moms used a flyswat too
but u know what i never believed, is when she said "this hurts me alot more than you"
i dont hate her for whipping me because I see that i was being a little bad
but i do know my dad hardly ever whipped me, if ever. Id rather have my mom beat me half to death than my dad do it cuz i guess it embarrassed me if my dad whipped me
bahahahahamightymouse69 said:But look how good you turned out. My Mom was an Olympic shoe thrower and could hit me from any room in the house. Even could richocet it off walls to get me
my mom had to beat me close up cuz she couldnt hit the broad side of a barn door
BIKINIMOM said:
I've never dealt with them on a personal level, but I have a close relative who has. Similar circumstances- divorce case, and the father was calling DYFUS (or Child Protective Services, or whatever its called) constantly about the mother abusing the children. Every time the case worker got there, she found nothing. Then later the childred would call the father screaming because they had been chained to the bed or severly hit because of the call. This went on for 2 years, until they suffered internal injuries and a broken bone and told school officials what was happening.
its probably a 6 of one, half a dozen of the other kind of thing- yes, they are over worked, and of course nobody wants any child to fall through those cracks, but I'm sure if it was left to a case worker to be the one to decide if it was a parent crying wolf, there would be a mistake somewhere anyway.
I still think that any call should be investigated.
Bikini Mod
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SoKlueles said:
My mother never threw anything. We had to go to her, stand there and take it. (That is how I choose to discipline my children.)
My mother used the wooden spoon most.
My father was the one that wielded the belt. I still remember doing this dance around him. He had us by the one arm and was hitting us as we danced around him... What in the hell were we thinking?! It only pissed him off more and it wasn't like we were going to be able to "go anywhere". LOL
Bikini Mod
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stilleto said:
Tough situation all around.
Sorry the kids had to go through that.
With me it was the opposite. My ex actually encouraged the kids to misbehave and even tell the children to lie that I was beating them, then would buy that child expensive gifts as a reward.
So - whenever I have ever disciplined my kids I would actually take them to the police or the pediatrician - tell them EXACTLY what I did so there would be a paper trail to prove I wasn't abusing anyone.
It is truly sad when any parent uses a child to hurt the other parent.
OMG that sounds like my parentsBIKINIMOM said:
I never ran from my mom although believe it or not KB, i could outrun her,(she had big boobs) because I KNEW better
and Ive done the whole run around them when they are whipping you thing
My dad never whipped me
I remmeber tho, he would throw rocks at us but not hit us and i remmeber i told my mom not too long ago taht i remembered him throwing rocks at us and she said "if he had wnated to hit you he would have" lol
Or when we were bad in a store, my mom would tell us she was gonna whip us when we got home, and wed play like we were asleep when we got home, so maybe shed forget
she never forgot(she was never one for an open threat)
Bikini Mod
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stilleto said:
So sad when people who need help refuse to get it.
Childhood abuse is very traumatic... leaves an impression that is life-long. I remember when my oldest was born. She cried all the time. Was so hard. So I would hold her close to me being careful to support her head and would rock us and cry along too. If it got really bad. I put her in her crib and would walk away, take a shower or wash dishes. By the time I was done either the child would stop crying or I would feel up to dealing with her again.
So many children either slip through the cracks or are caught up and empowered by the system which only hurts them more.
have i spanked my son? sure. but only when i am trying to get his immediate attention. always open hand and never on a bare butt. i was never down with the whole planned-out, use an implement type of spanking. I mean, it just never made sense to me to say OK, GO TO YOUR ROOM, I WILL BE UP THERE IN 3 MINUTES WITH THE WOODEN SPOON TO WHACK YOU ON THE ASS SO STRIP OFF YOUR PANTS AND BEND OVER. i mean thats bizarre IMO.stilleto said:and it is again.
I know you work for CPS, right? I haven't read the rest of this thread, but do you spank your son?
I have a friend who is also a case worker, and she has spanked her child.
and yes, there is a difference between corporal punishment and abuse.there are differing degrees of both and they are not the same.
discipline (rather than PUNISHMENT) IMO, SHOULD BE about teaching and guiding your child into the correct/desired behavior and to me, cracking them with a spoon or a belt or something like that, just doesnt teach them anything worthwhile.
i prefer to reason with my son (he's 7) and I sometimes let him come up with his own punishments when he has misbehaved. That was he takes ownership for his own behavior and for the consequeces. we talk about behavior having consequences so much in my house, he went to school one day and told his SPecial ed teacher YOU KNOW, ALL BEHAVIOR HAS CONSEQUENCES. lol
i do admit however that when Im feeling stressed out in general about any # of things, I tend to do the MOMMY MELTDOWN more often. which means i yell and get pissed much more easily. i do need to get control of that because it has an effect on how i interact with my son.
When I worked for Cook County, every call made to the child abuse hotline alleging child abuse or neglect was investigated. within 24 hours. there is a mandate that has to be met.stilleto said:
sometimes, people will call and say MY DAUGHTER DONE LEFT HER CHILDRENS IN MY HOUSE AND SHE OUT ON THE STREETS DOIN THEM DRUGS AND SHE DONE NEGLECTED THESE CHILDRENS. this is an example of something that might not necessarily warrant a full investigation because the children are in a home and have not been abandoned and at that time, extended support services are offered so that the family member can care for the kids without involving the state and the legal system.
Well I worked for DCFS in Cook County and any Licensed Child Welfare Professional who was caught saying anything like you claim this person said to you., would have been fired. I mean what you CLAIM the caseworker told you is so far fetched I cant even begin to comment.BIKINIMOM said:
and like I said on every other thread of this topic, none of us as parents are EXPERTS. parenting is fucking tough. i know I basically make it up as I go along a lot of the time. but we all make mistakes. I have handled situations with my son totally wrong on some occasions - either Im too harsh on him or not harsh enough. A lot of it has to do with the amount of energy I have at the given time. But this is what my dad always told me abouit parenting:
DO WHAT'S RIGHT, NOT WHAT'S CONVENIENT.
DO WHAT'S RIGHT, NOT WHAT'S CONVENIENT.
c-sharp minor
Well-known member
I know a single mom who has never hit her children in her life.
Her two boys are now teenagers and abuse the shit out of her. Both physically and mentally. Never mind their activities outside their home.
Kids should have been disciplined in a much harsher manner when they were younger.
I am in 100% agreement with people who discipline their children with corporal punishment.
Her two boys are now teenagers and abuse the shit out of her. Both physically and mentally. Never mind their activities outside their home.
Kids should have been disciplined in a much harsher manner when they were younger.
I am in 100% agreement with people who discipline their children with corporal punishment.
Lady Viking
Well-known member
Spanky11 said:
I agree.
Lady Viking
Well-known member
I agree with you toobig4life said:It seems to me that once you have gotten to the point of having to strike a child to correct a problem you have already failed.
A
alien amp pharm
Guest
I will use mace on my kids.
and NO not like pepper spray you peace lovin' hippies, so don't worry.
I was referring to the medieval type clubbing weapon.
and NO not like pepper spray you peace lovin' hippies, so don't worry.
I was referring to the medieval type clubbing weapon.
Bikini Mod
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Smurfy said:
You think that is bad? Let me tell you one that will REALLY make your head spin then.
I had primary residential custody of all the children as their father couldnt make them go to school. They all wanted to live with me but were afraid to go against their father. Anyway... he couldnt make them go to school so was "forced" to give them back.
He had 3 weekends out of the month visitation. It was HIS preference even though I offered him to see the children during the week for dinners if he wished.
I was picking my children up from a weekend visitation my younger three came out - no problem. My oldest (the one who just got the whooping) who was then 12 said that she refused to come home with me because "she was afraid of me because I regularly beat her." This is the same child that my ex asked for more time with (my children are very close in age) and bought expensive presents for and pretty much let her get away with whatever she wanted. I refused to leave. So he called the police, the police then called DYFUS. (Mind you, my three other children were running around happy as clams playing because their father had so fucked up their lives like this that now the police or whatever was no biggie - they were playing without skipping a beat.) After DYFUS found no evidence whatsoever of any sort of abuse they told me that if I refused to leave without my one daughter - THEY WOULD JAIL ME EVEN THOUGH I HAD PHYSICAL CUSTODY OF THE CHILD.
So I said to them, "Let me ask you gentlemen this... If I was truly abusing this child and she claims that she is afraid to come home with me now because I regularly beat her. What do you think is going to happen to that child when she gets off the bus tomorrow after school - THE CHILD LIVES WITH ME."
They all stood their scratching thier heads with that, "Duh - heck if I know" look on their faces. Had I not had my younger three children with me I would have gladly gotten arrested over it but because I had the younger three with me, I left. I had no other choice.
I can not tell you conversely - how many times police had pryed my crying children off of me because their father refused to let them stay with me because he had joint physical or whathaveyou.
A fucking unbelievable nightmare that defies all logic. But it is our reality nonetheless.
A
alien amp pharm
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stilleto said:
i think you want to hit me right now
coldblue1955
New member
i'd hit a child if the child needs to be hit on.
Destroyer1986*
New member
You would hit on a child?
DannoMight
New member
when all else fails pop them good once on their bottom to grab their attention and take everything away and make them sit for a few minutes.
My twins will be five in april and they've never been spanked or hit by us. Discipline is a simple matter of guiding behavior towards positive results and ignoring negative behavoir.
Although last week at school a kid punched my daughter in the stomach and I taught her how to kick him in the nuts if he does it again.
Although last week at school a kid punched my daughter in the stomach and I taught her how to kick him in the nuts if he does it again.
Firstly I would explain it to them what they did wrong and what is expected of them. In the event that the child does not understand I will explain it to him again and ask him to repeat it back to me. If for a child of his/her age is expected to behave a certain way - the way of a reasonable child for his age, and the child does not raise to or above those standards (of a reasonable child) then I would use a cane on their bottom and every time after that the look of death on my face shall give him a warning.
congrats broWODIN said:My twins will be five in april and they've never been spanked or hit by us. Discipline is a simple matter of guiding behavior towards positive results and ignoring negative behavoir.
Although last week at school a kid punched my daughter in the stomach and I taught her how to kick him in the nuts if he does it again.
