Here are my thoughts, for what they are worth.
Nobody is persecuting you for not following a certain "plan". It is the general "vibe" you are giving off....that plans are impossible for you to follow, that you are not willing to go outside your "comfort zone" (i.e. intimidating free weight area) and you are not taking responsibility for your eating habits.
It is your life, your goals, YOUR body. If you cannot take responsiblity for what you put into it - then not much will help you. There is NOTHING wrong with telling your brother/mother/grandma/neighbor that you are trying tomake healthy choices. If the food your brother/sister/grandma makes is not heathy - why would you eat it? Why would you have your son eat it?
There is a HYUGE difference between eating competition-clean and eating healthy. Eating competition-clean means depriving yourself to achieve VERY low BF% levels fora short period of time. It is event-specific. Eating healthy is what EVERYONE should do. Eating healthy means eating a good balance of lean meats/fish, lots of veggies, healthy fats and complex carbs. Eating healthy is for a lifetime.
It is easy to sit down, as adults, and PLAN a healthy week's worth of food/meals. Not to mention, you can ALWAYS make your own meals. It is not difficult to make some grilled chicken and steamed brocolli. To say anything otherwise is a lame excuse.
Working out - it ain't rocket science. If you have 50lbs to lose, just get your ass moving. Don't worry about the minutia and details. Get a reasonable level of fitness and after you drop some lbs, then fine tune. For now, concentrate on MOVING most days of the week and fitting fitness into your life.
Here is a simple plan .....
Cardio 3-4 times per week, at a pace that is tough but maintainable for 30 minutes.
Lift total body 2 times per week, on non-consecutive days.
When that gets too easy, change it.
If you cannot hit the weightroom, buy some home DVDs. No excuses.