Hey, Does Anyone Else Keep Any Dead Relatives In the House?

[musclemom]

No joke, I was wondering if anyone else has kept some remains from loved ones who have passed over. I have an urn of my mother in law, an urn of my father in law, and a box of my mom.

I've also go the skull from an anatomic skeleton (real). Don't know who it is (supposedly female though). My husband's first wife stole it from a college. Haven't figured out what to do with it, giving it back would be pointless after all these decades and burying it seems kind of rude.

 

[cindylou]

not me...most of my family is still alive. All my grandparents and parents and aunts and uncles still live.

 

[musclemom]

not me...most of my family is still alive. All my grandparents and parents and aunts and uncles still live.

Wow, I went to my first funeral (mother's father) before I started kindergarten. I was in my teens when her mother passed. I carried my father's casket when I was 17 (never knew his family) and pulled the plug on my mom when I was 39.

And that's not even counting aunts, uncles, cousins, friends and miscellaneous former and current in-laws. I've known people who died of natural causes, debilitating terminal diseases, suddenly in accidents or unexpected acute health issues, who have committed suicide and who have been violently murdered.

I've lost count of how many pets I've buried over the years ... when my last cat passed away I had to think long and hard about a safe place to dig, though.

 

[calveless wonder]

wow, that's creepy

 

[Smurfy]

Not me but my parents have all their dead dogs in little baby urns in their living room. They loved their dogs so much. I think they have 4 of them in urns.

 

[musclemom]

wow, that's creepy

*shrug* I've always had a morbid fascination about all things death, sort of horrified yet can't look away, y'know? People die, they don't leave funeral instructions or life insurance, what do you do? There are no green cemeteries in PA (which is how I would prefer to be disposed of) and your basic funeral with casket and underground burial is NOT cheap. Cremation is really the only affordable option.

Just planting a box of cremains in a cemetery is about $500 IF you have a pre-purchased plot, and that's before the stone. If you have to purchase the plot, I have no idea what it costs. And before you ask, neither my husband nor I felt right about scattering them for some reason.

This is why I always tell you people to write a will and have, at least, burial insurance. Sooner or later, someone will have to deal with your carcass, if you leave the important decisions up to them you might spend the first few decades of eternity stuck in a display cabinet in your daughter's former dining room now cardio/ritual space.

 

[cuthroat]

Yeah I keep them in the upper deck of my toilet

 

[cuthroat]

and the deep freeze in the garage

 

[RottenWillow]

I'm reminded of the family in Japan who's patriarch apparently died like 20 years ago and they allowed his body to stay in the bed where he died. Incidentially they'd been collecting his government pension check all that time as well.

 

[kx250rider]

A serious reply here... Yes, I have a very close relative's ashes in an urn (long-term temporary arrangement). To explain; and this is probably going to sound deep, but my aunt passed away in '05, and wanted her ashes to be spread on the beach at a certain place, and I promised I'd do that, but it's illegal in that state (New Jersey) to do so. She was not one who would break any rules whatsoever, so I'm at a stalemate with what to do. On a conscious level, I'm not creeped out by having the urn, and neither she nor I have any religious issues with not doing it yet. I'm very scientific-minded, and I don't consider the remains to be the person who was once alive; they're carbon particles in a steel container. It's only symbolic, and absolutely commands respect just as we would respect the American flag, or a family bible, etc. I keep the urn in a safe, as it would be bad if somebody broke in and stole, thinking it was something else, etc.

Charles

 

[musclemom]

A serious reply here... Yes, I have a very close relative's ashes in an urn (long-term temporary arrangement). To explain; and this is probably going to sound deep, but my aunt passed away in '05, and wanted her ashes to be spread on the beach at a certain place, and I promised I'd do that, but it's illegal in that state (New Jersey) to do so. She was not one who would break any rules whatsoever, so I'm at a stalemate with what to do. On a conscious level, I'm not creeped out by having the urn, and neither she nor I have any religious issues with not doing it yet. I'm very scientific-minded, and I don't consider the remains to be the person who was once alive; they're carbon particles in a steel container. It's only symbolic, and absolutely commands respect just as we would respect the American flag, or a family bible, etc. I keep the urn in a safe, as it would be bad if somebody broke in and stole, thinking it was something else, etc.

Charles

I've got an idea for you, that WOULD be legal, but your aunt wouldn't quite be at the beach. You could, however, legally place her off shore (might have to be a few miles out):

Great Burial Reef® - The Living Urn™ - The Funeral Has Changed. Be Part of Something Special.™

 

[miplank]

A serious reply here... Yes, I have a very close relative's ashes in an urn (long-term temporary arrangement). To explain; and this is probably going to sound deep, but my aunt passed away in '05, and wanted her ashes to be spread on the beach at a certain place, and I promised I'd do that, but it's illegal in that state (New Jersey) to do so. She was not one who would break any rules whatsoever, so I'm at a stalemate with what to do. On a conscious level, I'm not creeped out by having the urn, and neither she nor I have any religious issues with not doing it yet. I'm very scientific-minded, and I don't consider the remains to be the person who was once alive; they're carbon particles in a steel container. It's only symbolic, and absolutely commands respect just as we would respect the American flag, or a family bible, etc. I keep the urn in a safe, as it would be bad if somebody broke in and stole, thinking it was something else, etc.

Charles

Would anyone in NJ even press charges for you doing that? I say just do it, fuck em!

 

[CoBra666]

im afraid when i die if ghosts are real that they will make fun of me for all the stupid things they can see me do when im alone. like the time i had my hand stuck in a cheez whiz jar for like 3 hours cuz i didnt think to let go of my smokie, or when my life flashed before my eyes when i went to shit and the toilet seat was up. in that inch of extra falling i saw my whole life. i want someone to want me to snort them

 

[PICK3]

No joke, I was wondering if anyone else has kept some remains from loved ones who have passed over. I have an urn of my mother in law, an urn of my father in law, and a box of my mom.

I've also go the skull from an anatomic skeleton (real). Don't know who it is (supposedly female though). My husband's first wife stole it from a college. Haven't figured out what to do with it, giving it back would be pointless after all these decades and burying it seems kind of rude.

you have a plan if something happens to you and hubby?

If knot ... everyone is headed for the dumpster

 

[redshirt27se]

all my dead family are buried in the earth. even if i get cremated (i don't care either way) i don't want to spend my time(lol) sitting on someone's mantle. i fail to see the point in keeping someone's ashes around. that is just weird. it's one step away from just hanging a dead body in your room.

 

[Arabian]

I remember my mother telling me that when she was young , the family would keep the body of the deceased in the house in the casket for 5 days was the norm in the 40's and 50's. She said that you would just keep them in the house until the burial. I myself cannot look at or see someone in a casket. My father passed away in 01 and I had him cremated and buried in an urn with his ashes in it , in the family plot at the cemetary. My mother is dying now and she is going to be cremated and placed beside my father. I think its easier on the family if there is a memorial service in honor of life at the chapel, then a private graveside service. I am totally against an open casket viewing. To me its very morbid. No one EVER looks the same lying in a casket as they did in real life.

 

[kx250rider]

I remember my mother telling me that when she was young , the family would keep the body of the deceased in the house in the casket for 5 days was the norm in the 40's and 50's. She said that you would just keep them in the house until the burial. I myself cannot look at or see someone in a casket. My father passed away in 01 and I had him cremated and buried in an urn with his ashes in it , in the family plot at the cemetary. My mother is dying now and she is going to be cremated and placed beside my father. I think its easier on the family if there is a memorial service in honor of life at the chapel, then a private graveside service. I am totally against an open casket viewing. To me its very morbid. No one EVER looks the same lying in a casket as they did in real life.

I think that's still the custom in some families, but it's not what I would want at all. But seriously and with no joking around, it seems too much like those news stories we hear once in awhile, where an elderly husband or wife, will be unable to let go, and will keep it a secret that their spouse passed away, until neighbors figure it out and call police. That's a tragic scenario, but I understand how it could happen, I guess.

Charles

 

[nangiggles]

Mom still has dad... my brother went with dad to the 2002 Korea-Japan World cup and they planned on going to the 2006 Germany cup but daddy died in 05.... my brother took a small vial of dad's ashes and took it with him to Germany in 06, he was completely alone but in all his pictures around Europe he has the small vial in the picture.... makes me cry when I remember because I understand the meaning of it yet I find it a bit creepy

 

[lartinos]

I have a wax museum in my basement of all my dead relatives

 

[Mr. dB]

I've got a picture of my parents. And somewhere behind the sofa where I can't reach with a broom I'm sure there's still some dust balls containing the hair of Alice and Spike, two cats who are no longer living.

 

[musclemom]

I am totally against an open casket viewing. To me its very morbid. No one EVER looks the same lying in a casket as they did in real life.

I read an account of some people who chose to do a home cremation (weird but pagans have very odd ideas about things sometimes). They tended the body, washed him, anointed him, built the pyre and burned him. I also read about another family that took care of a loved one with the least cost (I think it was a widowed mom with kids and there was no insurance money, something like that) acquiring the least expensive casket (transporting it to the crematorium and so forth. For them, it provided a real form of closure. As they were able to see the beginnings of deterioration they knew that their loved one was "truly gone" and they were able to let go of what they absolutely knew was just a shell.

I don't mind the idea of laying out a loved one's body in the house after death, I'm a little iffy on the whole "painting them up" to look good. You'll really love this, I'm 1/2 Polish, want to hear one of our traditions? Virtually every Polish widow (at least those who are 1st and even 2nd gen. American) has a picture on her mantle piece of her dead husband laid out. I always thought those were creepy. Grandpa sleeping in the satin lined box ...