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here is my ex update

Lestat

Lestat

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So I saw her Friday night.. have been thining of her a lot since... here is what I emailed her.. and what she wrote back today:

____________
Just wanted to say hi. I'm not sure really what the correct protocol
is or anything. But I was thinking of you... maybe because it was a
week ago we saw each other, but also because Einat's dad just had knee
replacement surgery and your dad hung out with Einat for a bit and
said he made her feel really good about the whole procedure..
complimented his surgeon, his anesthesiologist.. that type of thing.

So the meeting itself last week with you was great, I think we were
both on the same page for the most part.. especially in the fact that
we both were just happy to be there... happy to just sit, smile, and
stare into each other's eyes. The next few days were tough in the
sense that you were on my mind a lot... not that you aren't on my mind
a lot anyway, but I guess I'd say it was more intense? Not to say
this is either good or bad, just an observation.

I'd enjoy seeing you again, but at the same time I hear you loud and
clear when you say that the breakup was what you needed to find
yourself.. and you still need it... the tough thing about meetings
like the one last Friday was hearing everything you say, and not just
the things you say that I want to hear.. like that there was no other
place and person you'd rather have been with at that moment.

Anyway, no need to feel an obligation to respond... or take any futher
action. As I mentioned, take this time to yourself, as much as you
need, and really think about your feelings, wants, desires....
remember to balance what your heart and your head is telling you
though, as I suspect you've been really thinking more logically then
anything about most things (I apologize if that is an incorrect
assumption).
_________________________
Anyway, I've written and not sent A LOT of emails since Friday. I
really REALLY struggled in the following days, and kind of still am.

I would love to be able to get to the place where we can send friendly
emails and see each other but dont really think thats possible yet,
given how I responded to Friday. Maybe its possible and the first
time was just the hardest (obviously not "hard" at the moment) but
just all teh memories and thoughts it caused. Essentially, I want us
both to be moved on and on the same page emotionally and able to be in
each other's life on some level. It will be different but i believe
its possible-eventually. Not sure either of us are there yet though.
I'm sorry if this was vague...

Have a great weekend, thanks for writing.
 
Lestat- you two are just causing each other a mountain of emotional pain right now. It sucks but you need to not see, talk, write, or contact each other for a while. Until you both learn to stand on your own again without running back to each other, you will both be caught in this moment. You need to take a step back and start breathing again. Sometimes the best way to get someone to come back is to let them go. Really let them go, and if they want they'll come back on their own terms. For the meantime everytime you two talk you are just rubbing more salt in those old wounds and they will never heal. Until you let go you can't move on and the pain you are causing yourself will eventually consume you and there will be nothing left.

Cheers,
Scotsman
 
Scotsman said:
Lestat- you two are just causing each other a mountain of emotional pain right now. It sucks but you need to not see, talk, write, or contact each other for a while. Until you both learn to stand on your own again without running back to each other, you will both be caught in this moment. You need to take a step back and start breathing again. Sometimes the best way to get someone to come back is to let them go. Really let them go, and if they want they'll come back on their own terms. For the meantime everytime you two talk you are just rubbing more salt in those old wounds and they will never heal. Until you let go you can't move on and the pain you are causing yourself will eventually consume you and there will be nothing left.

Cheers,
Scotsman
Click to expand...
I know.. im about to go that route... I thought I had tried that.. but it didn't work.. we ended up running into each other at work...
 
Lestat said:
I know.. im about to go that route... I thought I had tried that.. but it didn't work.. we ended up running into each other at work...
Click to expand...

You can't plan for those unforseen events but you also can't dwell on them. Take random chance as it comes and figure it all out when it's over.

Cheers,
Scotsman
 
haven't read every post in your GF threads (cause they're usually pretty damn long)...but I'd say that you guys took a few steps *back* by going out to eat w/ each other...
 
well here it is, the rawest of truths.


I loved you. Thats pretty obvious. I'm no expert that can say that
if i was "truly and completely IN love" than it would have been enough
to quell all fears and doubts and everything, who really knows teh
answer to that.


Another thing i know is that i am constantly seeking validation,
approval and acceptance and having a lover that offers that 100% of
the time is unbeliveably wonderful. But is that what love is? ITs
pathetic but i'm still constantly seeking that. I think it stems from
being disapproved of for a lot of my life.


The main reasons i hesitate to share all my thoughts with you are 1.
im not sure of them and sometimes they change and 2. i dont want you
to read into it, or try to figure out what im holding back or how i
shoudl feel or what i really feel or what i shoudl or should not have
done. i know that i did the right thing. i also know that it sucked
and its hard and i miss you so much, but the feelings i was feeling
were wrong, and thats the truth i know. 3. i dont want to hurt you
any more than necessary. 4. they're all confused and confusing


i do know that i miss you and would love to have you around. what i
dont want, is to kill any chance you have of moving on and being happy
without me, and i dont want to constantly be reminded of how great you
are so that I call into question, a decision that i know was right.
that might be painful to read, or even frustrating. i was happy in
the relationship and i miss that. i miss all the great things but
thats obvious right?


what i want for myself is to be happy and validated and comfortable in
life~ without someone else, becuase i dont want that validation to be
what i fall in love with. does that make sense? right now i dont
even believe im capeable of that. its very depressing


dan and julia broke up this week. im interested to see how that
unfolds. it was mutual and kind of an "eventuality" according to
them.


i do appreciate you sharing your thoughts and i do really miss you.
sarah
 
at least now she's being honest, that she has no idea what she wants but she knows it isn't you. at least she didn't say it's not you it's me again.

you got closure now bud? I really hope so :)
 
Lesat the Vampire............

You are sucking the life out of this forum........

Please, just KILL IT!!!! KILL IT!!! CUT IT OFF NOW!!!

MOVE ON -or- DIE TRYIN'........

We have told you countless times what you need to do but you continue to complain about the same circumstances over and over, ad nauseum........

When will you learn, nugga?!?!? :confused:









DIV

:chomp:
 
You are way too intense Lestat. You are never going to become friends if all you talk about with her are all these intense borderline scary feelings and thoughts you have about her. I wouldn't want my current significant other telling me a lot of those things much less an ex. It's obsessive. Move on for shit's sake.
 
I wish I could lend you my cold heart for an hour so you could shut this fucking abortion down, for good, once and for all...
You have hope, and hope...truck loads. It's fruitless.

If you were someone who couldn't find another mate, I could see why you are doing this, but your not, so it makes it harder to understand.
Your definitely not following the break up algorithm and associated timeline.
Kill communication, again...Do you have another choice? Time obviously isn't healing a damn thing. Out of site, out of mind.
 
She sent me this thing as well..

__________

Maybe its my OCD, or wahtever, but for as long as i can remember, adn
WORSE now than ever, i doubt every decision i make. I dont think i've
ever done somethign without seeking advice and even worse
yet-validation for the decision. it is horrible. its like i dont have
the strength or confidendce to go through with something on my own. i
think its a part of "growing up" that hasn't happened for me yet. its
scary, and disappointing.

seeing you, as friends, or on any level makes me call into question a
big decision I made. it makes it really really REALLY hard on me.
i've learned so much about myself over the past 5months that that
alone is enough to prove it was what i needed, but i still dont like
the doubt or the nausea it causes. does that make sense.

i think when we were together, towards the end, our relationshp was
getting serious which was a good thing. things were good-clearly.
why not get more serious, right? i think the weight of that, however,
made me anxious and doubtful of my feelings. i wasn't sure that what
i was feeling was love rather than loving how much you loved me and
how comfortable thigns were. i think if i had had several past
relationships, with a basis for comparing, maybe i would have known
for certain one way or the other, but the wya i felt was that if i
didn't no fore sure that it was "it" (love) then that could fairly
easily mean that it wasn't. thats the most honest i can be, that
might really hurt. so i guess you have suggested "Testing" that out
again, but if life is one big test drive i cant use someone i care
about as the pavement to drive my crazy sports car on.
 
Ulcasterdropout said:
I wish I could lend you my cold heart for an hour so you could shut this fucking abortion down, for good, once and for all...
You have hope, and hope...truck loads. It's fruitless.

If you were someone who couldn't find another mate, I could see why you are doing this, but your not, so it makes it harder to understand.
Your definitely not following the break up algorithm and associated timeline.
Kill communication, again...Do you have another choice? Time obviously isn't healing a damn thing. Out of site, out of mind.
Click to expand...
I know i can find others.. but the people ive dated since her just seem to be NOTHING compared to her.. it really sucks.
 
Lestat said:
I know i can find others.. but the people ive dated since her just seem to be NOTHING compared to her.. it really sucks.
Click to expand...


i doubt youre giving them a chance. tons of goodlooking smart caring woman out there.
 
geminitwins said:
i doubt youre giving them a chance. tons of goodlooking smart caring woman out there.
Click to expand...
It takes more then thought though....
 
lol

You seem pretty selective in what "advice" you take. You are seeking happiness in someone ELSE. That is a path that leads only to MISERY. As I mentioned before, something is severely lacking in your life that is causing you to hang on to your ex, which is what you need to address.

The fact that you CONTINUE to correspond with your ex despite many of us advising you against that makes me roll my eyes. When are you going to learn bro?

Stop searching for happiness in your ex and others and start searching for happiness in yourself. Until you can do that you will NEVER be happy.
 
Lestat said:
well here it is, the rawest of truths.


I loved you. Thats pretty obvious. I'm no expert that can say that
if i was "truly and completely IN love" than it would have been enough
to quell all fears and doubts and everything, who really knows teh
answer to that.


Another thing i know is that i am constantly seeking validation,
approval and acceptance and having a lover that offers that 100% of
the time is unbeliveably wonderful. But is that what love is? ITs
pathetic but i'm still constantly seeking that. I think it stems from
being disapproved of for a lot of my life.


The main reasons i hesitate to share all my thoughts with you are 1.
im not sure of them and sometimes they change and 2. i dont want you
to read into it, or try to figure out what im holding back or how i
shoudl feel or what i really feel or what i shoudl or should not have
done. i know that i did the right thing. i also know that it sucked
and its hard and i miss you so much, but the feelings i was feeling
were wrong, and thats the truth i know. 3. i dont want to hurt you
any more than necessary. 4. they're all confused and confusing


i do know that i miss you and would love to have you around. what i
dont want, is to kill any chance you have of moving on and being happy
without me, and i dont want to constantly be reminded of how great you
are so that I call into question, a decision that i know was right.
that might be painful to read, or even frustrating. i was happy in
the relationship and i miss that. i miss all the great things but
thats obvious right?


what i want for myself is to be happy and validated and comfortable in
life~ without someone else, becuase i dont want that validation to be
what i fall in love with. does that make sense? right now i dont
even believe im capeable of that. its very depressing


dan and julia broke up this week. im interested to see how that
unfolds. it was mutual and kind of an "eventuality" according to
them.


i do appreciate you sharing your thoughts and i do really miss you.
sarah
Click to expand...


Even if you had stayed together time would have led you to drive each apart.

People need to go through certain events, certain experiences and deal with the process of such thing and most can't do this while being a part of a couple.

what's that saying?

This too shall end?
 
I hope they help as well.

We spoke for an hour on the phone tonight. These chats are so bitter sweet.. we talk so well, its effortless... she said that it was really good to talk to me, etc.

She mentioned she was dating someone, and since seeing me she hasn't had any desire to see him, that its her just pretending to be interested now. She says that having me in her life at all, even as a friend, will likely make it impossible for her to date anyone... even casually.

We talked about how these chats are also stopping me from really moving one. How it is probably best to sever all contact if indeed the goal is to move on and get over things.

But she's confused, unsure, etc... I can tell she has feelings for me, the question is, how deep do they run.

I'm also thinking of the big picture, should we get back together, would this happen again?
 
Lestat said:
It takes more then thought though....
Click to expand...

While Lestat remains inside a paradox called cockblock
Though heartache is promised to him, when will he stop?
He hits the weed and hopes to God he can fly high?
Witness his ex-girlfriend cry when he drives by, she shouldn't tried him.
She sent his e-mails to her parents up north, now they want him to cease contact with her or get his nuts cut off.......

Introduce you to the pleasure and the pain you can go so far, just hand over your nuts and live your life as a SWV Star....:bawling:









DIV

:chomp:
 
Lestat said:
But she's confused, unsure, etc... I can tell she has feelings for me, the question is, how deep do they run.

I'm also thinking of the big picture, should we get back together, would this happen again?
Click to expand...

Yep, that is exactly what I was thinking. I wish the girls I went out with had the guts to break up with me and grow as a person. Instead of latching onto me until they could find someone else to latch on to.

Good luck bro. I know it sucks now. But, everyone here knows and is jealous of all the girls you can get and the friends/life you have. Don't worry about finding that perfect girl. Just have fun. You have might have another 50yrs left, so you have plenty of time.

And, I am getting very pissed I haven't heard a hot Lestat story w/some hot wet bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1njopabgnk]op24]- 4=30jG
 
You'll never listen to any of us...you can't. That's not your fault and maybe for the best in the long run. You have to "live" this one on your own, but I'm throwing my 0.02 anyway:)

You have to walk away now. If you don't, and you do get back together, you will have to wonder if she took you back because she truly loves you or if you just pressured her long enough to crack. She has some very solid reasons for ending things, show her some respect and back off now. She may well come back to you-I can see that happening-but if you keep this up you will destroy everything. You will start to hate her for all of this, belive me. Walk away and let it go. Let her come back to you. Quit with the gut-wrenching e-mails and phone calls, you aren't doing any good to yourself or her. You're hurting yourself, you're hurting her, and you're hurting any chance you may have of ever getting back together.
 
awittyusername: I'm sorry man, I just haven't had the drive to get hot and nasty with women lately.. I am on my way out the door to hang out with a girl now.. she's really into me, but sex is the last thing on my mind.


sweet bitch:
I feel you are right. I am seeing a professional monday and I have a feeling that is exactly what they will tell me as well.

I'm not lying when I say I WANT her to grow, if I am not right for her, I can accept that, if she finds a guy that can blow her away more then I did.. good for her.

For whatever reason, in the place I am mentally now, I just can't seem to let go though.. I'm still too full of hope.. she seems so close to wanting something more with me.
 
awittyusername said:
Yep, that is exactly what I was thinking. I wish the girls I went out with had the guts to break up with me and grow as a person. Instead of latching onto me until they could find someone else to latch on to.
Click to expand...

That's why I only date women who are mature and independent, no chance of cling or co-dependency when/if things end.

Find a woman who is complete herself, someone who is their own person, who doesn't need you to be whole.

Think of it as a partnership, complete with trust and communication and you cannot go wrong, holmes.

Expect more from a woman and you will get more; that's how it works.








DIV

:chomp:
 
Lestat said:
awittyusername: I'm sorry man, I just haven't had the drive to get hot and nasty with women lately.. I am on my way out the door to hang out with a girl now.. she's really into me, but sex is the last thing on my mind.


sweet bitch:
I feel you are right. I am seeing a professional monday and I have a feeling that is exactly what they will tell me as well.

I'm not lying when I say I WANT her to grow, if I am not right for her, I can accept that, if she finds a guy that can blow her away more then I did.. good for her.

For whatever reason, in the place I am mentally now, I just can't seem to let go though.. I'm still too full of hope.. she seems so close to wanting something more with me.
Click to expand...


I understand that hope all too well. It's an illusion that you need to cling to to keep from seeing the true end of things-of something that you held so dear to your heart. I get it, more then you know. She doesn't want anything more. She wants her space, she wants to grow-to find herself. She wants you to be there when she's done, just in case. She's not a bad person for this, she doesn't even see it. She's as hurt and confused as you only for very different reasons. Go see the pro-talk to him/her, take what they say seriously. You're hanging on to something that will never be yours again,not the way that it was. If you were to ever get back together it would be an entirely new relationship, it will never be like it was.
 
DIVISION said:
That's why I only date women who are mature and independent, no chance of cling or co-dependency when/if things end.

Find a woman who is complete herself, someone who is their own person, who doesn't need you to be whole.

Think of it as a partnership, complete with trust and communication and you cannot go wrong, holmes.

Expect more from a woman and you will get more; that's how it works.







DIV

:chomp:
Click to expand...

You are right again. I gave up on woman for about 2yrs. Every girl in my age group (25 - 30 not married) latched onto me and wanted to get married. (not bc they loved me, but bc they just wanted to be married)

But, luckily I have found the benefits of 40ish yr old woman who have been married/kids and are secure. (and they like to F) :)

The last 2 admitted that they were living in a dream world in there 20's trying to get married
 
Ulcasterdropout said:
Good...I hope it helps.

I didn't know she found someone.
Click to expand...
She didn't really "find" someone.. she's been dating.. as I expected.. that was the whole point of the breakup, so she could go out and experince dating, which she never had done. Its all been pretty casual.. as has mine.
 
Lestat said:
She didn't really "find" someone.. she's been dating.. as I expected.. that was the whole point of the breakup, so she could go out and experince dating, which she never had done. Its all been pretty casual.. as has mine.
Click to expand...
Bro, no offense or anything, but I'm going to go against what other people on here are saying. I say go for it, don't let go, and get back with your girl. If she's the one for you, than she's the one for you. Trust your feelings.
 
I think in your case bro, some of it may be ego as well. Your self esteem and confidence as well as your heart were broken when she let you down the first time, and now you are driven to win back some of that self esteem and confidence by getting her back, which is a natural reaction.

You have to make sure though as i've said to you before, that it's really her you want and not just the thought of being without her because if it's the latter and you do get back together, it won't last. Just follow your instinct.
 
awittyusername said:
But, luckily I have found the benefits of 40ish yr old woman who have been married/kids and are secure. (and they like to F) :)
Click to expand...

^^^Ain't that the fucking truth....... ;)

They fuck like I did when I was 19.......





DIV

:chomp:
 
vinylgroover said:
I think in your case bro, some of it may be ego as well. Your self esteem and confidence as well as your heart were broken when she let you down the first time, and now you are driven to win back some of that self esteem and confidence by getting her back, which is a natural reaction.

You have to make sure though as i've said to you before, that it's really her you want and not just the thought of being without her because if it's the latter and you do get back together, it won't last. Just follow your instinct.
Click to expand...
I agree with you there. Some of the intense drive is just coming from the fact that I want to "win"... I can't stand the fact that someone rejected me.. and it really has distorted feelings.

The problem is, I can separate feelings based on their cause. I do truly miss her, I believed that I was in love with her, I never would have guessed that my reaction would be this strong though which does make me question the cause really..
 
Lestat said:
But she's confused, unsure, etc... I can tell she has feelings for me, the question is, how deep do they run.

I'm also thinking of the big picture, should we get back together, would this happen again?
Click to expand...

Let it go.

Seriously, even if you were able to get back together because one or both of you is confused one or both of you will end up resenting the other.

At the very least let some time go by and work on being you.
 
I dont fucking understand this "confused" bullshit. Either someone loves you and wants to be with you..... or they DONT.

"Confused" people annoy the shit out of me.

SHIT OR GET OFF THE POT.

Lestat.... go about your business and tell her to call you when she pulls her head out of her ass. No one knows better than me how hard this is.... but when you do, amazing things will happen.

I've met TWO lovely, intelligent, XTREMELY successful men since I said this to "my confused" guy.... Do I want to live my life with ANY of these dudes? Um, who the hell knows? That is not the point.

The point is life a journey. Some people will only pass through for a brief moment and affect you profoundly, others will linger, still others will come and go and go and come and come and go again....

FUCK CONFUSION.

Go about YOUR business and let her pull her head out of her ass. IF you are still available then you two will talk. Till then....

FUCK HER.
 
CrazyK said:
Bro, no offense or anything, but I'm going to go against what other people on here are saying. I say go for it, don't let go, and get back with your girl. If she's the one for you, than she's the one for you. Trust your feelings.
Click to expand...
she may be the right girl for u but u may not be the right guy for her how is taht supposed to work out you need to step away no more emails or phone conversation and try to not run into her it will be hard at first but will get easier as the days go on she needs time away from you to figure some things out so emails and phone are not going to help plus it will make u think about her more i have had experience with this same situation ,i dated a girl for 4 years first real relationship everything was good and i thought we were in love which we were she was a couple years younger and eventually she wanted to seperate to live her own life much like your girl lest ,she wanted to date others and basically be single so ok it was hard and i walked away actually i did not tlak to her for over a year or see her or email it was hard at first but got easier as days went on about a year and a half later i getr a cal from her and we decide to go out and catch up she basically told me that she made a huge mistake leaving me bla bla bla anyway we dated again for a few months and things seemd good but i eventually realized she was stil the same confused girl who left me so i got out as quick as i could and have not looked back since over 3 years ago i have not spoke to or seen her since hope this helps ya some bro it is hard emaotions are some serious shit and can make you do stupid things good lucxk getting over her bro and your friends willbe of great help during this time period to keep buisy and forget about her
 
Werd said:
I dont fucking understand this "confused" bullshit. Either someone loves you and wants to be with you..... or they DONT.

"Confused" people annoy the shit out of me.

SHIT OR GET OFF THE POT.

Lestat.... go about your business and tell her to call you when she pulls her head out of her ass. No one knows better than me how hard this is.... but when you do, amazing things will happen.

I've met TWO lovely, intelligent, XTREMELY successful men since I said this to "my confused" guy.... Do I want to live my life with ANY of these dudes? Um, who the hell knows? That is not the point.

The point is life a journey. Some people will only pass through for a brief moment and affect you profoundly, others will linger, still others will come and go and go and come and come and go again....

FUCK CONFUSION.

Go about YOUR business and let her pull her head out of her ass. IF you are still available then you two will talk. Till then....

FUCK HER.
Click to expand...

Back with spunk!

HOLA!
 
Don't know the whole situation but going on what I have read I will say FUCK HER!!! I have recently gone through 2 break ups...One girl I was with for over 2 years and the other I got into something with almost immediatly after that. Yesterday she broke it off to be back with her ex. Funny thing is, she broke up with him (they were together for 4 years) for me :) Yeah, it sucks and I'll miss it but oh well. There are so many fucking women in this world, don't waste your life being stressed and fucked up over just ONE. Just surround yourself with friends and go out and have a good time. Hit the gym and train your ass off. The pain will not last, time heals all.

M18
 
Thanks Velvett, Wellbilt, Werd, and Mustang.

I've been doing LOTS of thinking.

I do think this talking with her has done me some good though, her last email really made it seem like a huge weight was lifted from my chest. She showed some vunerability.. that she wasn't cold and heartless.

Would I love to run back to her? Yeah. But do I know better? Yes. I know that she is still confused, not ready, and I know I need to accept the fact that it may never be right.

Do I really want to be someone's second guess either? No. My brain knows this, I just need to pull the override switch on my heart.
 
Werd said:
I dont fucking understand this "confused" bullshit. Either someone loves you and wants to be with you..... or they DONT.

"Confused" people annoy the shit out of me.

SHIT OR GET OFF THE POT.

Lestat.... go about your business and tell her to call you when she pulls her head out of her ass. No one knows better than me how hard this is.... but when you do, amazing things will happen.

I've met TWO lovely, intelligent, XTREMELY successful men since I said this to "my confused" guy.... Do I want to live my life with ANY of these dudes? Um, who the hell knows? That is not the point.

The point is life a journey. Some people will only pass through for a brief moment and affect you profoundly, others will linger, still others will come and go and go and come and come and go again....

FUCK CONFUSION.

Go about YOUR business and let her pull her head out of her ass. IF you are still available then you two will talk. Till then....

FUCK HER.
Click to expand...
Tell it! ;)
 
velvett said:
Back with spunk!

HOLA!
Click to expand...
I dont know if I am "back" or anything.... and as for the spunk. Not really. Just pissed off... hola to you fine lady!

Now back to me being fucking pissed off like nobody's business about "confused" people. Shit... At least Lestat's girl is young and dumb. WTF is the deal with my guy?

I'll tell you what....

Are you listening?



I COULD GIVE A FUCKING SHIT!



Stupid old bastard pryed open my heart, pursued my ass out the fucking whazoo and ALL OF THE SUDDEN He "needs some time?"

FUCK THAT!

Take all the goddamned time you need!




I have been patient out the asshole and I have had enough. Last week I left a phone message and basically told him that I have had it with his indifference and mixed signals: one day everything is hunky-dory and he loves me and my kids and there is nothing he wont do for us and the next day he is no longer returning my calls and giving me one line answers to my emails with NO REASON except "he needs time and quiet to sort some things out for himself".

FUCK HIM.

I was perfectly happy showing up on occasion doing some socializing and leaving before the wetspot hit the sheets.

When I think of all the empty promises....

Whatever.

Not my loss.

I spent last weekend with another selfmade man. He let me fly his plane LOL. And have plans to see another selfmade dude who owns SEVERAL planes... And who knows who else.

Bottom line is this:


FUCK BEING "CONFUSED".




When my guys pulls his head out of his ass and produces a ring them MAYBE we can talk. Until then he can stay alone with his "confused" state and just TRY to find another that will even BEGIN to hold a candle to me. If he finds her: GREAT! I will be the first one to congratulate him.


See?.... it all works out in the end anyways, now dont it? :)
 
Werd said:
I dont know if I am "back" or anything.... and as for the spunk. Not really. Just pissed off... hola to you fine lady!

Now back to me being fucking pissed off like nobody's business about "confused" people. Shit... At least Lestat's girl is young and dumb. WTF is the deal with my guy?

I'll tell you what....

Are you listening?



I COULD GIVE A FUCKING SHIT!



Stupid old bastard pryed open my heart, pursued my ass out the fucking whazoo and ALL OF THE SUDDEN He "needs some time?"

FUCK THAT!

Take all the goddamned time you need!




I have been patient out the asshole and I have had enough. Last week I left a phone message and basically told him that I have had it with his indifference and mixed signals: one day everything is hunky-dory and he loves me and my kids and there is nothing he wont do for us and the next day he is no longer returning my calls and giving me one line answers to my emails with NO REASON except "he needs time and quiet to sort some things out for himself".

FUCK HIM.

I was perfectly happy showing up on occasion doing some socializing and leaving before the wetspot hit the sheets.

When I think of all the empty promises....

Whatever.

Not my loss.

I spent last weekend with another selfmade man. He let me fly his plane LOL. And have plans to see another selfmade dude who owns SEVERAL planes... And who knows who else.

Bottom line is this:


FUCK BEING "CONFUSED".




When my guys pulls his head out of his ass and produces a ring them MAYBE we can talk. Until then he can stay alone with his "confused" state and just TRY to find another that will even BEGIN to hold a candle to me. If he finds her: GREAT! I will be the first one to congratulate him.


See?.... it all works out in the end anyways, now dont it? :)
Click to expand...

Sucks to hear about your dude, but this is lestats thread, make your own?
 
Lestat, i know how you feel. God knows we've all been there. buti agree with the others who have said you need the closure and need to move on. Good luck.
 
crew9 said:
Sucks to hear about your dude, but this is lestats thread, make your own?
Click to expand...

Not hijacking Lestat.... just letting him know how much it sucks REGARDLESS of how old someone is.

Lestat is bright. He can figure it out for himself. Just trying to let him know how it is on "the other side of the fence". My kids were involved this time and I STILL told the guy to stay where he is until he gets "unconfused".
 
This chick sounds fucking crazy. Is she on meds? Effexor? Lithium? Prozac? Anything like that? Depression, anxiety meds?
She is a bundle of problems. You are far better off without this crazy girl (trust me).
RUN AWAY!!!
 
I thought the meetup with her was a good idea for at least Lestat to "find answers" to his questions/confusion. I really think he accomplished that. That alone was worth the dinner/date whatever. IMO

good luck
 
So update today..

we spoke on the phone for 3 hours. She had called and basically was going to tell me that we probably shouldn't talk or see each other anymore because its really messing with her head now.. but she couldn't bring herself to say it.

She says that when she talks to me or sees me, she loves it, enjoys it, and wants nothing more then to keep the conversation going forever.

However when she is by herself she thinks that this is all wrong, she needs to move on, and she is just stringing me along.

So we talked for 3 hours with no real conclusion, we agreed to meet tomorrow because at that time we may both decide to NOT see or talk to each other again, so we may as well do it in person.

Her friends tell her to stop talking to me completely.. that of course talking to me is going to see fun, comfortable, etc.. because I know her so well, I know her better then most... they say that she needs to distance herself from me and these feelings will go away.

She thinks she still may need more time, but she doesn't want to ignore her feelings now.. the ones driving her to talk to me or see me.

I personally think she does need more time, more personal growth.. as shitty as that may sound... and that I have a feeling we wont be speaking or anything after tomorrow. We'll see though.
 
Lestat said:
So update today..

we spoke on the phone for 3 hours. She had called and basically was going to tell me that we probably shouldn't talk or see each other anymore because its really messing with her head now.. but she couldn't bring herself to say it.

She says that when she talks to me or sees me, she loves it, enjoys it, and wants nothing more then to keep the conversation going forever.

However when she is by herself she thinks that this is all wrong, she needs to move on, and she is just stringing me along.

So we talked for 3 hours with no real conclusion, we agreed to meet tomorrow because at that time we may both decide to NOT see or talk to each other again, so we may as well do it in person.

Her friends tell her to stop talking to me completely.. that of course talking to me is going to see fun, comfortable, etc.. because I know her so well, I know her better then most... they say that she needs to distance herself from me and these feelings will go away.

She thinks she still may need more time, but she doesn't want to ignore her feelings now.. the ones driving her to talk to me or see me.

I personally think she does need more time, more personal growth.. as shitty as that may sound... and that I have a feeling we wont be speaking or anything after tomorrow. We'll see though.
Click to expand...
.

STOP THE INSANITY!
 
DIVISION said:
^^^Ain't that the fucking truth....... ;)

They fuck like I did when I was 19.......
:
Click to expand...

lol
some of us have always had stamina.
 
Lestat said:
Her friends tell her to stop talking to me completely..
Click to expand...



hmmm...


lol Hate to bust your balls bro, but it was there... lol

Again, good luck. You`ll be alright.
 
Lestat said:
She says that when she talks to me or sees me, she loves it, enjoys it, and wants nothing more then to keep the conversation going forever.

However when she is by herself she thinks that this is all wrong, she needs to move on, and she is just stringing me along.
Click to expand...

I want to fucking vomit. I am sorry, but NONE of that bullshit makes any sense to me! (I didn't get the same song and dance verbally but from my guy's behavior it just fits.)

I wonder how "confused" she would be if she knew that someone else may be in YOUR picture?.... or if you suddenly weren't so torn up over her?

I am approaching 40 and been through a bit of shit in my life and I can't for the life of me understand the line of thinking this broad is selling you. (My guy does has *some* legitimate issues but even so - me and my kids are far too important to be left hanging while he gets his shit together.)

Darlin.... just a suggestion. Leave her to her "confused self". You will be floored at just how many "unconfused" elligible attractive women there are out there who would be more than happy to be less than confused in your company.

LEAVE THE "CONFUSED" BROAD BE.
 
crew9 said:
real real quick? :)
Click to expand...

When I was 19, drive and stamina were at all time highs......

The first wave was fast, after that the stamina was locked in for as many times as I'd want to go that night.

Now I have to be motivated to fuck that long......





DIV

:chomp:
 
Ok..

I saw her today... for 9 hours.

We spoke on the phone last night for 3 hours.. she had called to tell me we shouldn't see each other because its really messing with her, but she just couldn't get off the phone.

So we see each other today, I get there at 3pm.. she was really excited and anxious to see me. We've talked about the possility of getting back together but are not sure what would be right...

We hung out at her place, layed around on the couch.. we ended up even kissing a bit, went out to dinner.. etc.

It was pretty intense and emotional takling.. some crying....

basically what it boiled down to was.. right now there is no other guy she'd rather have in her life.. she's been dating (as have I) over the last 5 months but not really had anything exciting go on.. the last guy she dated she broke it off with because of "emotional baggage".. meaning I was on her mind all the time.

BUT.. and the big but.... is that she had doubts when we broke up last June.. and she said those doubts aren't completely gone.. she said she feels strongly for me.. VERY strongly.. and her heart is telling to her to be with me.. but her head is saying she is not ready and is quite confused.

So... back to total silence.. no contact, no email... nothing.. time to move on.
 
Lestat said:
Ok..

I saw her today... for 9 hours.

We spoke on the phone last night for 3 hours.. she had called to tell me we shouldn't see each other because its really messing with her, but she just couldn't get off the phone.

So we see each other today, I get there at 3pm.. she was really excited and anxious to see me. We've talked about the possility of getting back together but are not sure what would be right...

We hung out at her place, layed around on the couch.. we ended up even kissing a bit, went out to dinner.. etc.

It was pretty intense and emotional takling.. some crying....

basically what it boiled down to was.. right now there is no other guy she'd rather have in her life.. she's been dating (as have I) over the last 5 months but not really had anything exciting go on.. the last guy she dated she broke it off with because of "emotional baggage".. meaning I was on her mind all the time.

BUT.. and the big but.... is that she had doubts when we broke up last June.. and she said those doubts aren't completely gone.. she said she feels strongly for me.. VERY strongly.. and her heart is telling to her to be with me.. but her head is saying she is not ready and is quite confused.

So... back to total silence.. no contact, no email... nothing.. time to move on.
Click to expand...
Relationships can suck some times bro. I feel for you.
 
CrazyK said:
Relationships can suck some times bro. I feel for you.
Click to expand...
This is the only one I've had in my life that has affected me anywhere close to this. It really does suck, but at the same time it feels good to have actually loved someone, been close, etc.
 
Lestat said:
This is the only one I've had in my life that has affected me anywhere close to this. It really does suck, but at the same time it feels good to have actually loved someone, been close, etc.
Click to expand...
Oh yeah, I totally understand what you mean. Luckily for me, my relationship is going great, and I soooooo head over heels for this girl it's unbelievable. I get butterflies before everytime I see her. If she broke up with me right now, I'd be worse off than you. So I know how it is to be THAT vulnerable.
 
CrazyK said:
Oh yeah, I totally understand what you mean. Luckily for me, my relationship is going great, and I soooooo head over heels for this girl it's unbelievable. I get butterflies before everytime I see her. If she broke up with me right now, I'd be worse off than you. So I know how it is to be THAT vulnerable.
Click to expand...
That's a great feeling to have man... the butterflies and what not.
 
you decide you both think you want to be together, so now back to no contact with each other?
lol
I think you two are enjoying the drama of this a bit right now, I'm not trying to be an asshole, but the excitement of not knowing whether or not you will get back together, kissing etc. then saying you won't see each other.. makes things like it's new again which is what she wants.. that new feeling again.. and for you it's also what you want.. to think you could possibly 'win her back' because it gets to you that someone had the nerve to reject you how dare they!!! :)
 
bran987 said:
you decide you both think you want to be together, so now back to no contact with each other?
lol
I think you two are enjoying the drama of this a bit right now, I'm not trying to be an asshole, but the excitement of not knowing whether or not you will get back together, kissing etc. then saying you won't see each other.. makes things like it's new again which is what she wants.. that new feeling again.. and for you it's also what you want.. to think you could possibly 'win her back' because it gets to you that someone had the nerve to reject you how dare they!!! :)
Click to expand...


What she needs is time and space. What he needs is to be strong and give it to her. If you care about her the way you say you do then you'll stick to this no communication thing. No matter how good it feels to talk on the phone for 4 hours and what not. Let her become the person she is trying to be and if she really cares about you she'll be back.
 
I got this from her this morning..

___
I've written several emails to you but when i read over them i know its nothing i wasn't able to share yesterday. Its hard to feel like our decision was right with how horrible it feels but i know that we both know that the "other" option could not have worked at this point, thats not to say im not greatly affected. I know that i need to discvoer the root of the feelings but more importantly the root of the doubts. But i want you to know that i dont take what i feel or what you feel lightly, and to that end, I am going to be getting some professional help. This is obviously a big issue, so im going to be dealing with this as best i can. also, it was amazing to feel like we were "in it together" yesterday coming to the inevitable decision.
 
I haven't even read this all.. just some of ur first post and the first post of urs on this page 4...

Anyway..

U'll get back together... make out, do the deed, etc...

Wether it be days or weeks, or a few months down the road:

1. She'll go back to wanting to do whatever she has been doing of the past 5 months.

-OR-

2. You will see how much your heart really regrets her for what she has put you through, and leave.
 
2 Questions Lestat.

#1 Have you told her in the 12 hours you were toghether or talking, that if she ever "decides" that she DOES want to be with you, YOU may not be available anymore? You may not be there anymore when that time comes/if it comes!


#2 You want her and she wants you. You`re going to counseling, she`s going to counseling. You guys want to be together... but.... WHAT????? wtf? is going on? Is there a third party we don`t know about, like a court of law that says You guys can`t be together? I`m not understanding this.

I know I did`nt explain #2 very well, but hopefully you get my drift. <---- have`nt used that since 1978.
 
gonelifting said:
2 Questions Lestat.

#1 Have you told her in the 12 hours you were toghether or talking, that if she ever "decides" that she DOES want to be with you, YOU may not be available anymore? You may not be there anymore when that time comes/if it comes!


#2 You want her and she wants you. You`re going to counseling, she`s going to counseling. You guys want to be together... but.... WHAT????? wtf? is going on? Is there a third party we don`t know about, like a court of law that says You guys can`t be together? I`m not understanding this.

I know I did`nt explain #2 very well, but hopefully you get my drift. <---- have`nt used that since 1978.
Click to expand...
Yeah, we've discussed the fact that I'm not putting my life on hold, I'm going to continue dating.. or at least trying, and that there is no way to no for certain that we could just pick up and date again down the road because you never know what may happen. As much as I want this, its not a done deal in my mind. Once we started talking about the possiblity of getting back together, I instantly started really re-evaluating.. "is this really what I want? will she do this again? Is she stable enough? etc" So there will definitely be some serious soul searching and what not to be done on my end if we ever decided to give this a try.

And as to #2.. yeah.. I wish that just a desire to be with each other was enough.

Basically, if you wanna look at it from a psychology standpoint... this is how it goes.

Her Id and Ego are in conflict.. her Id wants me, her Ego is telling her that its a bad idea because she's not sure, and it will just end up bad.

Her superego is what REALLY need to have the real work decision making power here, but because of the extreme conflict between the Id and Ego the superego is not coming through at all..

With time to herself, away from me.. she should be able to resolve these things.
 
gonelifting said:
2 Questions Lestat.

#1 Have you told her in the 12 hours you were toghether or talking, that if she ever "decides" that she DOES want to be with you, YOU may not be available anymore? You may not be there anymore when that time comes/if it comes!


#2 You want her and she wants you. You`re going to counseling, she`s going to counseling. You guys want to be together... but.... WHAT????? wtf? is going on? Is there a third party we don`t know about, like a court of law that says You guys can`t be together? I`m not understanding this.

I know I did`nt explain #2 very well, but hopefully you get my drift. <---- have`nt used that since 1978.
Click to expand...


So I'm not the only the only one who feels this way!

*phew*

I thought I was losing my mind.... I feel sooooooo much better now.
 
gonelifting said:
I know I did`nt explain #2 very well, but hopefully you get my drift. <---- have`nt used that since 1978.
Click to expand...

I'm picking up what you're laying down...
 
The Ejaculator said:
I haven't even read this all.. just some of ur first post and the first post of urs on this page 4...

Anyway..

U'll get back together... make out, do the deed, etc...

Wether it be days or weeks, or a few months down the road:

1. She'll go back to wanting to do whatever she has been doing of the past 5 months.

-OR-

2. You will see how much your heart really regrets her for what she has put you through, and leave.
Click to expand...
I don't dent that those are very real possiblities, but I'm not certain that those are the only possible outcomes.


Good to see you changed your screen name back man!
 
i'd like to see velvett's comments on her final email a couple posts above.
 
Lestat said:
Yeah, we've discussed the fact that I'm not putting my life on hold, I'm going to continue dating.. or at least trying, and that there is no way to no for certain that we could just pick up and date again down the road because you never know what may happen. As much as I want this, its not a done deal in my mind. Once we started talking about the possiblity of getting back together, I instantly started really re-evaluating.. "is this really what I want? will she do this again? Is she stable enough? etc" So there will definitely be some serious soul searching and what not to be done on my end if we ever decided to give this a try.

And as to #2.. yeah.. I wish that just a desire to be with each other was enough.

Basically, if you wanna look at it from a psychology standpoint... this is how it goes.

Her Id and Ego are in conflict.. her Id wants me, her Ego is telling her that its a bad idea because she's not sure, and it will just end up bad.

Her superego is what REALLY need to have the real work decision making power here, but because of the extreme conflict between the Id and Ego the superego is not coming through at all..

With time to herself, away from me.. she should be able to resolve these things.
Click to expand...


Dude, your problem in a nutshell is that you are overanalyzing this repeatedly in your head. The fact of the matter is this: she left you to "find" herself. Put all of the psycho-analyzing and soul searching aside, it all boils down to she left you because she doesn't know what she wants. Until she decides what she wants, it will never work between the two of you, because you KNOW what you want.

Let her go, find someone who is in the same place in life that you are. If she comes back then she "found" herself, if not then you will still be better off without her drama and internal struggles.
 
Forge said:
Dude, your problem in a nutshell is that you are overanalyzing this repeatedly in your head. The fact of the matter is this: she left you to "find" herself. Put all of the psycho-analyzing and soul searching aside, it all boils down to she left you because she doesn't know what she wants. Until she decides what she wants, it will never work between the two of you, because you KNOW what you want.

Let her go, find someone who is in the same place in life that you are. If she comes back then she "found" herself, if not then you will still be better off without her drama and internal struggles.
Click to expand...



Yep! It goes back to "wlaks like a duck... It`s a duck" She`s not as c"complete" as you make her out to be. If she was, she would know what she wants in life. Her maturity, although great in other areas, has not grown at relationships yet. SHE IS THAT. THIS IS HER. SHE LEFT YOU. These are all facts.

She`s not perfect except for these little things... she is what she is and she left you to find herself. You are loving an incomplete person and when/if she changes, they`ll be trouble if you`re not careful.

It also goes back to her being selfish. We all know women get looked at or hit on a lot every day. She may have seen one too many AWESOME looking guys hitting on her, giving her attention and started thinking twice about things. Also, a sign of immaturity. Does`nt matter if they`re not as good as you in the long run. NOW they`re hot and that`s what may have triggered these feelings for her.
 
velvett said:
Just read it now.
Have to run to an appointment will answer when I get back.
Click to expand...
Thanks.


Also thanks GL and Forge.

Even though I'm still a little tore up inside, still have anxiety, etc... I know that this is the right decision. I know now why she doesn't want to be with me, and I know that I wouldn't want to be with someone who is having the doubts and expressing to me what she has. Still it is sad, still it hurts, but this feels different then before.. before it was all.. why why why why.. how could someone do this to me.. what did I do wrong.. what should I have done better.. this sucks.. will I ever feel that good again..

There was some hope for the future left out there though... that can be bad.. I don't want to sit around waiting for her.. but at the same time in the back of my head I am still hopefull.
 
Lestat said:
There was some hope for the future left out there though... that can be bad.. I don't want to sit around waiting for her.. but at the same time in the back of my head I am still hopefull.
Click to expand...



You might have talked about this in a round about way, but you really need to ask her point blank. Ask her straight out, "Is there any hope for us or am I holding on to something that is`nt there?" If she cares about you, she`ll tell you "NO."

"I don`t know" or "I`m confused" is not good enough. Yes...or No. You can`t go through maybe anymore bro. It`s gonna kill you. Get an answer.
 
gonelifting said:
You might have talked about this in a round about way, but you really need to ask her point blank. Ask her straight out, "Is there any hope for us or am I holding on to something that is`nt there?" If she cares about you, she`ll tell you "NO."

"I don`t know" or "I`m confused" is not good enough. Yes...or No. You can`t go through maybe anymore bro. It`s gonna kill you. Get an answer.
Click to expand...
We talked about it, not maybe that directly, but she basically said dont wait for her. She said this because she cares. She knows that there is still a chance, she knows there are feelings, but she would never ever ask for me to wait around on her account.
 
I am really really REALLY sorry because I know that this is TOTALLY in
violation but there is something I need to know. Yesterday, you said:

" and if at one point you come to a comfortable spot mentally and
emotional, a relatively sure spot, you can rest assured I'll always be
willing to listen to anything you have to share."

From the perspective of what you're going to be comfortable with, does
this mean if i get to a point that im sure that i am comfortable with
the decision to explore things with you OR im totally sure about you
and "it"? Although i know I needed the breakup to feel whatever it is
im feeling now (however "real" it is or isn't) i feel that the fact
that we already broke up once makes this decision much more grave and
it seems like there is so much more at stake.

The reason I need to know is this: I can force myself to move on now,
and ignore the feelings that I'm feeling in my heart. We've both said
we know this is possible. However, with help and medication (i think
you were right that going off the medicine is F**cking me up) I
believe there is a chance for me to be able to get my mind to a place
that is comfortable following my heart. i cannot be sure that this is
possible, but who knows?

I feel so fucked up asking you this because I'm dragging you along and
I'm so sorry to drag you into this again, but I guess I need to know
what I'm going and hoping for right now. I know that I'm the only one
that can answer what I want, but on one hand i feel like if i decide
to explore things with you I have to be sure that it's "it" rather
than just that I want to explore things with you. Thus, what I have
to decide is whether to try to overcome and deal with the doubts or
just force myself to move on. This is a huge decision that I know
only I can make.

Again, I'm sorry but i need your help one more time. There was one
other thing that i wish i'd said before the "Cutoff" yesterday. If
there is ever any significant news or changes in your life, PLEASE
come to me with the update. I know this is violating our deal but I'm
only human I guess. I think that once I have the answer to this
question, its only fair to both of us for me to look within and to
others (than you) for guidance, but I feel like I need this
information from you first.
 
Basically what it boiled down to was. right now there is no other guy she'd rather have in her life.. she's been dating (as have I) over the last 5 months but not really had anything exciting go on.. the last guy she dated she broke it off with because of "emotional baggage".. meaning I was on her mind all the time.

BUT.. and the big but.... is that she had doubts when we broke up last June.. and she said those doubts aren't completely gone.. she said she feels strongly for me.. VERY strongly.. and her heart is telling to her to be with me.. but her head is saying she is not ready and is quite confused.

So... back to total silence.. no contact, no email... nothing.. time to move on.
Click to expand...


Lestat,

I think one could say with ease that all her feelings and comments to you are genuine. But with that same line of thinking even though she is expressing love and caring for you she is also expressing that she does not want to be with you in a relationship at this time.

You have two choices, one go back to the total silence and wait and hope that her heart and head final share the same ideas while risking her head finding someone else for her heart to fall for.

Or you can except her state of emotions for what they are and relish the past of your relationship, adore it and cherish the moments past but at the same time note that this time is over and work on the new chapter of your life without her.


You have no guarantees here Lestat you only have history and only you can make you way forward, alone or in hope of being a part of someone else’s life, someone else’s life who’s not open to let you in.
 
velvett said:
Lestat...You have two choices...
Click to expand...
First off, I really hope you move on. Really I do. I think we've all been there and know that it sucks. I spent a good many years drinking an ex away and wasted alot of my life doing it.

Second, I hope you find someone that truely loves you and ready for you right NOW. Not this mother fuck of "I'm not ready."

Third, when she comes and asks for you back when you're in a relationship with a girl who LOVES you...I hope you remember this time and just say that she should move on.
 
my big fear now: i feel like im the judge sitting on a hugely
important case with a very special guy depending on the verdict,
evidence both ways, lots at stake, and no jury to consult with.

what we definately agreed on yesterday: not sure what the reason is
but im not ready to be with you now, for sure, too much of a wreck,
weather its right or not. the question is whats causing the
wreck-ness: "us" being wrong, or me being FUCKED UP. i dont want to
keep you on edge though. its so hard because i feel that you might be
able to help me figure myself out but thats not something i can ask of
you.

the thing is that if i want to wait until im at a better "place in
life" than that involves me forcing myself to move on and get over it.
thats the gist of it.

Its so weird, it was like this all-or -nothing decision we made
yesterday (And admittedly teetered on) was SO FUCKING HUGE. It sucks
that it has to be so absolute, and the reason I think it does is that
seeing you just makes me want to be with you uncontrollably,
disablingly, like I told you. I can imagine what I would think if i
was your friend and i knew all of this: make sure she's 100% sure
cause you cant go through all that *AGAIN*. thats what i would think
and swear by. thats scary. thats what makes it seem
like way to big a decision to try things again.

I dont feel like im a completely changed, matured, differenet person
than i was in June.

I think the first and foremost thing is that i get help. another
thing i woudl say is that i at least give it some time. i know that if
i was a decent person i would have AT LEAST waited till i got a little
help to cop out and call on you. i was going ot take the elephant that
you gave me from the mai tai lounge and make
a thought bubble coming out of its mouth saying :PATIENCE.
like that was its quote and advice for me. its so weird, im ONLy
thinking about my own feelings now, because i know im the confused
one, but its at your expense i think, adn im sorry thats really not
fair.
i fucking couldn't even deal with and let these feeling marinate for a week. im
really so impatient, its insane.i guess whats is essential, but easier
said than done, is for me to decide what i want. the ridiculous thing
is that i feel like im keeping you waiting and that might skew my mind
without my knowing. i just have no fucking clue what to do and the
scary thing is that no therapist, friend, parent NO ONE cane make that
decision for me.while we'r eon this honesty kick, i have some trouble
with the fact that i was comfortable and happy and "moved on". i dont
know what that means really. i dont know much im coming to find out.
i guess what we needed to do, give me (us) months, years to figure it
out makes it seems like a much more ominous and weighty decision. i
also dont want you to feel like you're waiting in court for your
verdict! and thats what i dont wnat. i dont want to feel like a judge
that is supposed to be sure of an answer!

but there is no way that i will be happy or sane unless i force
myself to move on which i suppose is an option, i thought 24 hours ago
it was the only option really.

this is what scares me. i dont want you to think and i dont want to
feel like this time is for me to become ready to be with you because i
dont think its a given. doe that make sense. so the scary part is
that i feel like the only way to deal with the uncertainty of the
"judge" situation si to force myself to move on. im not strong enough
to deal:(
 
now im being COMPLETELY unfair in what im dumping on you, i should
dhave just been happy when you answered my one question. you're free
to really ignore whatever you want. I NEED TO DEAL myself, and mostly
i just need some patience.
 
EnderJE said:
Drama queen.
Click to expand...


I can't even read anymore.....it's just PAINFUL. Not only has it given me the opportunity to relive EVERY shitty break up I've had but it's made me realize just how lucky I am to be married. (Never thought that until now...JK!!!)
 
Cut off communication. Her coming to you with every little doubt about the situation completely destroys the whole purpose of her not being with you for "maturing" purposes. It's becoming evident that YOU have to be the one to cut it off.
 
Sweet_Bitch said:
I can't even read anymore.....it's just PAINFUL. Not only has it given me the opportunity to relive EVERY shitty break up I've had but it's made me realize just how lucky I am to be married. (Never thought that until now...JK!!!)
Click to expand...
You have only been around for a month of this. The first 3 months acceptable now ...
 
Sour_Pussy said:
I went back and read every friggin' post that he bumped up a few weeks ago....holy hell:)
Click to expand...
Dam that is impressive.

B you know I think your a great guy but seriously I hope your bits and pieces grow back soon.
 
superqt4u2nv said:
Dam that is impressive.

B you know I think your a great guy but seriously I hope your bits and pieces grow back soon.
Click to expand...
I hear ya... I just don't think I could live with myself if I didn't give this everything I had.. if I couldn't say used every ounce of my being to make tihs work.... She's that special to me.
 
EnderJE said:
First off, I really hope you move on. Really I do. I think we've all been there and know that it sucks. I spent a good many years drinking an ex away and wasted alot of my life doing it.

Second, I hope you find someone that truely loves you and ready for you right NOW. Not this mother fuck of "I'm not ready."

Third, when she comes and asks for you back when you're in a relationship with a girl who LOVES you...I hope you remember this time and just say that she should move on.
Click to expand...
Thanks man. that was really well said.
 
Lestat said:
The reason I need to know is this: I can force myself to move on now,
and ignore the feelings that I'm feeling in my heart. We've both said
we know this is possible. However, with help and medication (i think
you were right that going off the medicine is F**cking me up) I
believe there is a chance for me to be able to get my mind to a place
that is comfortable following my heart. i cannot be sure that this is
possible, but who knows?
Click to expand...

I KNEW it! Meds. I called that one. No big surprise though.
It seems to be a common thing for girls in their 20's and 30's to be on these depression/anxiety meds. I see this ALL the time at the hosp., doesn't matter what they look like either.
 
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