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satanic goatslayer
New member
So there I was, as usual, sipping some rum and dipping Skoal. Normally I chew copenhagen drenched in shine, but for some reason the slutwhore behind the counter had none to sell. I couldn't fault her, for the store is in charge of that. Good thing I went in naked and rubbed my bag on the kaiser buns. Crabs don't spread via buns I hope.
I came home and noticed that my new "answering machine" was blinking rather fast. I told the stupid chug fucks down at Biz-Mart that I had seizures from time to time, and the widethoat told me that I had no problems.
Well, fuck me with a paddle if I wasn't twitching on the ground with foam forming around my choppers.
I vowed right then and there - "White man from the Yukon, fuck with my gums and ye shall pay!"
You see, I can spot a Yukoner from 3 miles away from the bottle of Aqua-Velva strapped to their side like a holster. I once had the pleasure of arresting some snow-hucks for eating Lysol-laced hamburgers. I would have prefered them to die like the pigs they are, but "human rights" denied me that pleasure.
Anywho, so I strapped on my toolbelt, hopped in the old - now souped up lada - and headed down to extract that cunts teeth.
Legend has it that the molar of a greasy infidel adds to a man's sexual pleasure.
The only fucking I had in mind was a splintered axe-handle rupturing his prostate. If he wasn't a faggot now - well, he was gonna die with a large dowel protruding from his anus.
I broke into the store easily - any common thief here knows the tricks - and cut the power.
I saw a shadow moving about the store.
"Lucifer, son of the morning - I'm gonna chase you out of Earth!"
I ran towards the man and shanked him with my buck knife.
It was a cashier.
Collateral damage. I felt bad though, so I draped her in a sulphuric acid-laced blanket. By chance it was laying there. Funny how that happens.
He ran like the wind to help. But 911 is a joke.
He bent down to help her.
I kicked his knees out and stomped on his face.
Glass Joe was his name, as he went unconscious. I took the chance to find the P.A and put on a good sodomizing song.
Helix - Rock You
Give me an R.
I rammed the scythe handle up his ass, through his jeans.
He screamed in pleasure. I knew he was a faggot, but come on now. Even the most hardened of homos feel the pain of a scraped rectum.
I had to shove my scimitar through his neck.
It normally had to do with kukris, but I knew that if I drew my scimitar from its sheath, that I had to draw blood.
He croaked.
I laughed and spit chaw-slosh on him.
A rather boring tale, but it felt good to loot the store.
Be a good digga.
I came home and noticed that my new "answering machine" was blinking rather fast. I told the stupid chug fucks down at Biz-Mart that I had seizures from time to time, and the widethoat told me that I had no problems.
Well, fuck me with a paddle if I wasn't twitching on the ground with foam forming around my choppers.
I vowed right then and there - "White man from the Yukon, fuck with my gums and ye shall pay!"
You see, I can spot a Yukoner from 3 miles away from the bottle of Aqua-Velva strapped to their side like a holster. I once had the pleasure of arresting some snow-hucks for eating Lysol-laced hamburgers. I would have prefered them to die like the pigs they are, but "human rights" denied me that pleasure.
Anywho, so I strapped on my toolbelt, hopped in the old - now souped up lada - and headed down to extract that cunts teeth.
Legend has it that the molar of a greasy infidel adds to a man's sexual pleasure.
The only fucking I had in mind was a splintered axe-handle rupturing his prostate. If he wasn't a faggot now - well, he was gonna die with a large dowel protruding from his anus.
I broke into the store easily - any common thief here knows the tricks - and cut the power.
I saw a shadow moving about the store.
"Lucifer, son of the morning - I'm gonna chase you out of Earth!"
I ran towards the man and shanked him with my buck knife.
It was a cashier.
Collateral damage. I felt bad though, so I draped her in a sulphuric acid-laced blanket. By chance it was laying there. Funny how that happens.
He ran like the wind to help. But 911 is a joke.
He bent down to help her.
I kicked his knees out and stomped on his face.
Glass Joe was his name, as he went unconscious. I took the chance to find the P.A and put on a good sodomizing song.
Helix - Rock You
Give me an R.
I rammed the scythe handle up his ass, through his jeans.
He screamed in pleasure. I knew he was a faggot, but come on now. Even the most hardened of homos feel the pain of a scraped rectum.
I had to shove my scimitar through his neck.
It normally had to do with kukris, but I knew that if I drew my scimitar from its sheath, that I had to draw blood.
He croaked.
I laughed and spit chaw-slosh on him.
A rather boring tale, but it felt good to loot the store.
Be a good digga.
