help me....

[§äñît¥ Pôí§ðñ]

i need some advice.. on how to cope i guess
what if anything caan you do if you find out that someone very special to u only has about 1-3 years left to live?
i dont want to give any details really

 

[Gilbyag]

spend time with them...

 

[supersizeme]

this isn't dread lord is it.

i'm assuming this person already knows that they have 1-3 years left to live. obviously there's probably nothing you can do to prevent their death, so just make sure that they know you care about them and always treat them like it's the last time you see them. they will know you love them and appreciate it and that's about the most anyone could ask for. without any more details it's hard to say much more.

 

[OMEGA]

be there for them, and really try to be "present" in their company.

I find that I frequently take for granted people around me, its not that I don't appreciate them, but, I am just not "present".

I am there in body, but not in mind.

since you are aware that someones time is limited, make a special effort to be "present".

doing stuff outside, like going on a hike, or to the mountains, or fishing, is good to when you want to appreciate someones company to the fullest.

get away from tv, the radio, the city, and try to be present with the person you care about, in natural suroundings.

I am sorry to hear about your freind/loved one.


GOODLUCK

OMEGA

 

[spongebob]

i need some advice.. on how to cope i guess
what if anything caan you do if you find out that someone very special to u only has about 1-3 years left to live?
i dont want to give any details really

kiss them, and tell them you love them every day. stare into thier eyes as you do this. to comfort thier soul.

 

[dballer]

Do not let them see that you are sad.... make them understand that EVERY SECOND of their life is the most important second in yours.

 

[OMEGA]

Do not let them see that you are sad....

that to.

maybe sometimes, when you can't help it, but not all the time.


i call it the 'sinking ship syndrome'

no one wants to go down in a sinking ship, so don't make the person you care about feel like one.

 

[Night Fly]

Make the most out of everyday that you spend with them...

If they need to talk about it...let them...listen to them...be there for them. Don't tell them that you know how they are feeling (I have had ppl do that before and not know shit about it).

Once again...just BE THERE for them. Make them smile...

1-3 yrs. is a long time, too...it could possibly happen that the doctors were wrong...it's happened before.

If you need anything, girl...just pm me and I'll be glad to talk.

 

[frorider6]

Hugs. Simple, wonderful, and not given nearly enough.

 

[freak daddy]

I'm so sorry Dread Lady! I wish there were words I could say to make you feel better. Make the most of your time left with each other. That's all you can do! You will be in my thoughts my friend!

 

[big4life]

I'm so sorry Dread Lady.

Check your pm.

 

[kitKat]

Like Gilbyag and other stated spending time with them is a great idea. Maybe if possible take them somewhere to see a pretty sight even if it is just local... sit , enjoy the beauty of the earth and talk.

 

[Stryc-9]

Try not to pity them - when a friend of mine was dying of cancer he often told me the worst thing about people visiting him was the way they just looked at him with sadness....

...it just depressed him even more...he said he needed all the positive energy he could get...

 

[danielson]

Try not to pity them - when a friend of mine was dying of cancer he often told me the worst thing about people visiting him was the way they just looked at him with sadness....

...it just depressed him even more...he said he needed all the positive energy he could get...

yup....be their source of joy....even if u feel bad. it will be hard.

 

[WODIN]

U go on as usual I know this all to well. They don't want special treatment they just want to live like anyone else. You might die tomorrow so there is no real "clock" perse.

 

[buksoon]

i need some advice.. on how to cope i guess
what if anything caan you do if you find out that someone very special to u only has about 1-3 years left to live?
i dont want to give any details really

Not to be sentimental, but... some people say that we should regard EVERYONE like this, terminal disease or not.

The valuing them, the looking at them with your whole heart.

Everyone always says: "If you had only one day to live, you'd want to call up your loved ones and tell 'em how much they mean to you."

So I always think: why do we have to wait for that apocalyptic scenario? why do need something so dramatic as impending death to stop and look at someone?

 

[PinK233]

Re: Re: help me....

Not to be sentimental, but... some people say that we should regard EVERYONE like this, terminal disease or not.

The valuing them, the looking at them with your whole heart.

Everyone always says: "If you had only one day to live, you'd want to call up your loved ones and tell 'em how much they mean to you."

So I always think: why do we have to wait for that apocalyptic scenario? why do need something so dramatic as impending death to stop and look at someone?

Very true! Good post

 

[buksoon]

again bumping an actual worthy thread

 

[§äñît¥ Pôí§ðñ]

i appreciate the posts on here very much
there is still hope
and thank you all for the pm's as well, i apologize if i dont get back to you all, things have been pretty busy lately

 

[john937]

Most of the previous responses talk of emotional support, and that is important.
But how are they coping physically?
There are a lot of agencies that can help,
there are volunteer agencies to deliver hot meals, go grocery shopping for them, come to the house, assist with bathing, turning them in bed so they don't get bed sores, and special transit facilities to take them to the doctor etc.
We had to deal with these agencies(some government, some private volunteer) when my dad was sent home to die from cancer several years ago. He may qualify for the state to pay for a hospice worker to come every day for several hours, but they won't stay all day as a "sitter".
I don't remember exactly where we went to apply,(something like Hospice of Texas?), but I'm sure your friend's doctors know how it's done.