im going to post a big fat bump for an update for you guys. there have been some AMAZING replies. -thank you.
so its thursday night 2am. i have not had a piece of junkfood since last friday-that last binge was bad. ugh...real bad (1/2 pumpkin pie, 1 pint ben and jerrys, 2 king size candy bars, 6 big ass cookies, cool whip)----------yuck!
so it went like this:
sat,sun,mon,tue,wed,thur-all clean diet days.
i have that journal going @ wannabebig as well. if you are curious about updates and other things
basically tonight i wanted to binge, but i ate a bunge of stirfry veges and it calmed it, i feel full, i do not want to eat junk...i went out to eat with friends and did not get anything...just had a diet coke. No cravings at all. I think that talking about it and just letting the world know what was up has helped tremendously. I have however somewhat returned to my dieting that i did over the summer to get cut up, which led to binging. however i have not binged this week...and im trying to get my self to accept a normal diet...the fat i gained really pissed me off. My cal range for the week have been around 2000 per day. Mod carb, never going over 200 a day-i am going to research more refeed stuff, however that could easily trigger me to binge-as i tried it before, just going berserk, using it as an excuse. If i make it a few more days it will be the first time sine MAY that i have not had a FREE FOR ALL FOOD DAY, which i did every week.
since i notice my binges spilling over into the week, (ex: my strait 5 day binge---i was @ 198 at my heavest, now im 190 and planning on dropping SLOWLY over the next month, hitting 180 again and adapting a NO DIET plan.
my workout have been good, my motivation is returning, although i feel my intensity could be cranked up a notch, im not dealing with the crippling depression i was in for about a week, were i just wanted to eat and sit in bed. Im over that, and moved on...getting out of my rut- actually caring again about looking good. (when you get down you just dont give a fuck)
fonz---ive dropped ambien before for insomnia-hardly worked for me.
binge eating is definetly something that develops from diet restrictions, i can admit to that ( in my case) it also has to deal with emotions and other psycholoical factors. I WAS DEPRESSED-I BINGED-I GOT MORE DEPRESSED-a vicious cycle. thank god it lasted 3 weeks and not any longer which im sure others are suffering with right now.
I want to binge now, i dooooooo so bad, but i know i wont because i have support. So im going to just go to bed, wake up and hit the stairmaster and shed some more of this god damn fat.
Thank you and I will update everyone as the weekz go by, and if i do binge i will let everyone know, and also if i dont. I know i can do this.