Seems like a lot of it is going around lately. Maybe its something in the air. It's the worst god damned feeling in the world, and I never thought I could ever be the sort of person to be this hurt. And no matter who you talk to, or what anyone says, you feel like no one else could possibly understand what you're going through. I thought my body, and my friends were so important to me. But I don't give a damned about them anymore without her. It's hard to find the motivation to go after three years with your best friend, but you just tell yourself its going to get better. So to all my bros out there, take care of her, because you'll never know how much she means to you until shes gone. Also, here's a poem I wrote, thanks for sharing all this sentimental bullshit with me. She hasn't spoken to me in 2 months, so it helps to share it with someone, anyone.
------------------------------------------------
Death of Innocence
Young love blossoming in two youthful kids,
How they shared three words, never knowing how deep they’d go,
Never seeing what road lied ahead,
And never caring but loving and living each day one by one.
All the things they shared, never holding on, always moving
On to the next, thinking there could never be an end
To these feelings that suddenly gave their lives meaning
How they smiled a thousand smiles and never knew a frown.
Simple love blooming in each others hearts, perhaps quiet love at first,
But growing with every beat of their hearts, with every experience shared,
With ever word uttered, with every hand held and every kiss,
With every night in each other’s arms and every morning in each others eyes.
Many nights held tightly in a theater, tickets bought just to kiss her in the dark,
Riding around in his car, never knowing where to go, but knowing one thing
Knowing they wanted to be right there, with each other, whether they
Were at the store, at her house, or sitting on the bench at their park.
Seeing her again, sitting as a passenger, seeing the love in her eyes,
As they made firsts out of every moment, every feeling was new,
How the butterflies flew inside them, between them, making a beautiful sight
Of two young lovers sitting in the driveway, staring at the stars on a cloudy night.
How many times had they kissed for hours, never knowing time gone by,
Parents calling from the doorway, and smiling as they saw innocence
In their two loved ones, who couldn’t be pulled from their eternal embrace
How they would run and hide behind cars just to hold each other’s hand.
Going to fairs, and walking along the midway, not wanting to ride the rides,
But having him win something for her, just so he could see another smile,
How they could care less about what was going on around them,
Because all that they saw was this feeling so strong in their hearts
Camping trips spent, how he would try his best to cook something he didn’t know
And how she would smile and compliment his dry overcooked food,
But both not caring, because they were there apart from the world,
And at night, passion igniting the darkness and setting a blaze that lit their worlds.
Showers spent squirming as soapy bubbles dripped into each other’s eyes,
And how he would just stare and think how great life was to have her so close
And kissing her, and closing his eyes as the water slid down and melted them
Into one another, and how she laugh so much when he tickled her sides.
Romantic nights spent by candlelight in her room, music quietly playing behind
Two flowers rolling in the sheets, giggles penetrating through the dark
Incredible love made for hours on end, and both exhausted
Holding on afterwards, and never letting go, even in their dreams.
Dinners bought but never eaten, just to make each night special, and take her out
Treat her like the princess she was, and put his arm around her as she leaned in
And he kissed her head and she held his waist without ever having to think
About whether or not she wanted to be there, because fate had set them here.
Fireworks watched at a mall parking lot, laying softly on a grassy patch,
The most amazing display happening over their heads, but something
Even brighter and more beautiful exploding in their hearts
As he wore a glowing necklace and stared at her while she watched above.
Lunch breaks spent dashing to his car, just so he could spend ten minutes with her
And knocking at her door, still in his uniform looking tired,
But she in her night clothes, producing the biggest smile on her face
But an ever bigger one inside of him, and how they kissed and he ran back to work.
Holidays spent smiling as family gathered around, and how his heart almost exploded
With love when he saw her happiness there, sharing these moments with him,
How he knew she missed out on times like these, and he wanted only to make more,
And make her a part of his family, and hug her as she opened presents.
Pictures taken together, a click of a camera trapping their love in time,
And they never thought anything of it, hanging pictures on their walls,
Making books worth of memories, of the best times each had ever known
But not stopping to see what they had, but moving on towards tomorrow.
How they thought they knew love, this etnernal flame for each other
How it all began as a whisper and now their love was a deafening shout
Making them quiver and shake as they hugged tightly
And planting the seeds for an even deeper tomorrow that only seemed natural.
Plans being laid for love to be had for all time, her in white and him
Dressed so handsomely in a black tuxedo, anxiously waiting as she
Walked slowly towards him on an aisle lined by loved ones,
But those two once again, were in their own world, set apart in their own moment.
But slowly, pain found them in their eternal paradise, burning into her heart
And him, never understanding, but seeing the tears roll down her face,
And how he would hold her tight, hating every moment she cried so much,
With him wanting to do anything to bring back those smiles of the past.
How he strolled through life with his eyes closed, and beginning to shut away his heart
And she curled up in his arms crying because she was losing him
And she would cry for him to return, and he wouldn’t understand
And reassured her, and how she wanted to believe him so much and love him so.
How many times had she hurt, and he never knew and couldn’t see it anymore
How if he had only realized it he would have broken down on to his knees
And cried more tears than at any time gone by at what he was doing to his princess
The love of his life who had shared everything new with him and gave his life hope.
How she would pour her heart to him, and he wouldn’t let her come close,
And she would search for those eyes that loved her, but getting scared
Because she saw a changing man, no longer innocent love but hurt
And pain between them pushing their eternal moments farther apart.
And him, still knowing he had love, but being confused at his feelings,
Not knowing what life was showing him, and never seeing that
In his arms he held the most beautiful thing that he’d ever see,
And being to afraid to let her really know how he felt inside.
How many nights that should have been spent together,
Kissing quietly in the back of a theater, or in his car,
Instead he leaving her alone in darkness while he drank his nights away
Forgetting about what he really felt in the novelty of his new friends.
And her, tears streaming down her face, burning her pillows at night,
No longer sharing it with the most wonderful man she’d known,
And how she hurt and died each moment that she just wanted to call out to him
But he had closed his ears and forgotten about their youthful love.
How beautiful she was, looking up to him as she laid on his chest in bed,
And he laying there, a stranger new to her, not understanding or knowing
What was happening right under his nose, and how he would
Have given anything to know what he was doing and take her pain away.
So much hurt between two people, who could never have seen this before,
How he said so many foolish things and denied his own feelings
While his soul mate waited patiently while her eyes watered
And her heart got heavier and he kept pushing her into the dark.
And how the darkest day he had ever known would come and show him,
What he had been doing all this time, how he would cry a million tears
And regret every moment that he had gone away from her,
And want to hurt himself for ever making her feel this way.
His eyes opened after such a long time, and how he screamed and cried
After what he had seen he had done to the most wonderful person in his life
And now he was the one in his bed dampening his pillows every night
Hating each and every moment he had made her feel this way.
A million thoughts haunting him each moment of everyday,
Thinking of how many days spent frivolously not with her,
Holding her and seeing her beautiful smile and feeling her love
While her hair fell into his eyes, and her hand grasping his arm.
How all he wanted to do was run to her and express this all,
But finding her, she was no longer there anymore, but another stranger
And his heart broke every time she turned away, and how he hated every tear
And wanted only to hold her tightly and fight this hurt together.
How he wanted to call out to her now, as she had done for him before
But he searched her face for that young girl of the past who loved him
Like few people deserved to be loved, endlessly and blindly,
He cried out for the innocence and passion they had always taken for granted.
Two adults now, seeing love like no one should see, so much hurt here
So many needless tears shed, and so many memories dying,
What started out as two loves smiling happily in each other’s arms,
Became two scared souls searching for their lost loves.
And he still sees her at the park, in his car, not knowing where to go,
But knowing he does not want to be here without her.
What was anger withered away, leaving only sadness and despair
Suddenly he didn’t care about anything in life if she wasn’t there.
She had shown him a life that he never knew could be so great
How the mere touch of her hand on his face could send tingles down his spine,
And a simple whisper of her voice in his ear could ease all his pains,
And how heaven could exist between two people set apart in their own world.
He wondered if he had ever really loved her until this day,
If he had ever known what those three words really meant to him and her,
And he knows that he had, in times past, when love was felt and not said,
And how he would die for just one more day like the ones gone by.
A day awoken with him knocking at her door as she answered in a nighty,
And hugged him and smiled as he cried in her arms and she asking what was wrong
And him remembering what the future would bring, and confessing his love to her,
And how her eyes would tear to see the man that she loved returned to her.
And they would hold on to each other loving life for all it’s worth,
And him never letting a day go by without loving her like he should,
Experienced love now, understanding that it may end anytime,
But love eternally strong as she held in her arms, a son of his name.
------------------------------------------------
Death of Innocence
Young love blossoming in two youthful kids,
How they shared three words, never knowing how deep they’d go,
Never seeing what road lied ahead,
And never caring but loving and living each day one by one.
All the things they shared, never holding on, always moving
On to the next, thinking there could never be an end
To these feelings that suddenly gave their lives meaning
How they smiled a thousand smiles and never knew a frown.
Simple love blooming in each others hearts, perhaps quiet love at first,
But growing with every beat of their hearts, with every experience shared,
With ever word uttered, with every hand held and every kiss,
With every night in each other’s arms and every morning in each others eyes.
Many nights held tightly in a theater, tickets bought just to kiss her in the dark,
Riding around in his car, never knowing where to go, but knowing one thing
Knowing they wanted to be right there, with each other, whether they
Were at the store, at her house, or sitting on the bench at their park.
Seeing her again, sitting as a passenger, seeing the love in her eyes,
As they made firsts out of every moment, every feeling was new,
How the butterflies flew inside them, between them, making a beautiful sight
Of two young lovers sitting in the driveway, staring at the stars on a cloudy night.
How many times had they kissed for hours, never knowing time gone by,
Parents calling from the doorway, and smiling as they saw innocence
In their two loved ones, who couldn’t be pulled from their eternal embrace
How they would run and hide behind cars just to hold each other’s hand.
Going to fairs, and walking along the midway, not wanting to ride the rides,
But having him win something for her, just so he could see another smile,
How they could care less about what was going on around them,
Because all that they saw was this feeling so strong in their hearts
Camping trips spent, how he would try his best to cook something he didn’t know
And how she would smile and compliment his dry overcooked food,
But both not caring, because they were there apart from the world,
And at night, passion igniting the darkness and setting a blaze that lit their worlds.
Showers spent squirming as soapy bubbles dripped into each other’s eyes,
And how he would just stare and think how great life was to have her so close
And kissing her, and closing his eyes as the water slid down and melted them
Into one another, and how she laugh so much when he tickled her sides.
Romantic nights spent by candlelight in her room, music quietly playing behind
Two flowers rolling in the sheets, giggles penetrating through the dark
Incredible love made for hours on end, and both exhausted
Holding on afterwards, and never letting go, even in their dreams.
Dinners bought but never eaten, just to make each night special, and take her out
Treat her like the princess she was, and put his arm around her as she leaned in
And he kissed her head and she held his waist without ever having to think
About whether or not she wanted to be there, because fate had set them here.
Fireworks watched at a mall parking lot, laying softly on a grassy patch,
The most amazing display happening over their heads, but something
Even brighter and more beautiful exploding in their hearts
As he wore a glowing necklace and stared at her while she watched above.
Lunch breaks spent dashing to his car, just so he could spend ten minutes with her
And knocking at her door, still in his uniform looking tired,
But she in her night clothes, producing the biggest smile on her face
But an ever bigger one inside of him, and how they kissed and he ran back to work.
Holidays spent smiling as family gathered around, and how his heart almost exploded
With love when he saw her happiness there, sharing these moments with him,
How he knew she missed out on times like these, and he wanted only to make more,
And make her a part of his family, and hug her as she opened presents.
Pictures taken together, a click of a camera trapping their love in time,
And they never thought anything of it, hanging pictures on their walls,
Making books worth of memories, of the best times each had ever known
But not stopping to see what they had, but moving on towards tomorrow.
How they thought they knew love, this etnernal flame for each other
How it all began as a whisper and now their love was a deafening shout
Making them quiver and shake as they hugged tightly
And planting the seeds for an even deeper tomorrow that only seemed natural.
Plans being laid for love to be had for all time, her in white and him
Dressed so handsomely in a black tuxedo, anxiously waiting as she
Walked slowly towards him on an aisle lined by loved ones,
But those two once again, were in their own world, set apart in their own moment.
But slowly, pain found them in their eternal paradise, burning into her heart
And him, never understanding, but seeing the tears roll down her face,
And how he would hold her tight, hating every moment she cried so much,
With him wanting to do anything to bring back those smiles of the past.
How he strolled through life with his eyes closed, and beginning to shut away his heart
And she curled up in his arms crying because she was losing him
And she would cry for him to return, and he wouldn’t understand
And reassured her, and how she wanted to believe him so much and love him so.
How many times had she hurt, and he never knew and couldn’t see it anymore
How if he had only realized it he would have broken down on to his knees
And cried more tears than at any time gone by at what he was doing to his princess
The love of his life who had shared everything new with him and gave his life hope.
How she would pour her heart to him, and he wouldn’t let her come close,
And she would search for those eyes that loved her, but getting scared
Because she saw a changing man, no longer innocent love but hurt
And pain between them pushing their eternal moments farther apart.
And him, still knowing he had love, but being confused at his feelings,
Not knowing what life was showing him, and never seeing that
In his arms he held the most beautiful thing that he’d ever see,
And being to afraid to let her really know how he felt inside.
How many nights that should have been spent together,
Kissing quietly in the back of a theater, or in his car,
Instead he leaving her alone in darkness while he drank his nights away
Forgetting about what he really felt in the novelty of his new friends.
And her, tears streaming down her face, burning her pillows at night,
No longer sharing it with the most wonderful man she’d known,
And how she hurt and died each moment that she just wanted to call out to him
But he had closed his ears and forgotten about their youthful love.
How beautiful she was, looking up to him as she laid on his chest in bed,
And he laying there, a stranger new to her, not understanding or knowing
What was happening right under his nose, and how he would
Have given anything to know what he was doing and take her pain away.
So much hurt between two people, who could never have seen this before,
How he said so many foolish things and denied his own feelings
While his soul mate waited patiently while her eyes watered
And her heart got heavier and he kept pushing her into the dark.
And how the darkest day he had ever known would come and show him,
What he had been doing all this time, how he would cry a million tears
And regret every moment that he had gone away from her,
And want to hurt himself for ever making her feel this way.
His eyes opened after such a long time, and how he screamed and cried
After what he had seen he had done to the most wonderful person in his life
And now he was the one in his bed dampening his pillows every night
Hating each and every moment he had made her feel this way.
A million thoughts haunting him each moment of everyday,
Thinking of how many days spent frivolously not with her,
Holding her and seeing her beautiful smile and feeling her love
While her hair fell into his eyes, and her hand grasping his arm.
How all he wanted to do was run to her and express this all,
But finding her, she was no longer there anymore, but another stranger
And his heart broke every time she turned away, and how he hated every tear
And wanted only to hold her tightly and fight this hurt together.
How he wanted to call out to her now, as she had done for him before
But he searched her face for that young girl of the past who loved him
Like few people deserved to be loved, endlessly and blindly,
He cried out for the innocence and passion they had always taken for granted.
Two adults now, seeing love like no one should see, so much hurt here
So many needless tears shed, and so many memories dying,
What started out as two loves smiling happily in each other’s arms,
Became two scared souls searching for their lost loves.
And he still sees her at the park, in his car, not knowing where to go,
But knowing he does not want to be here without her.
What was anger withered away, leaving only sadness and despair
Suddenly he didn’t care about anything in life if she wasn’t there.
She had shown him a life that he never knew could be so great
How the mere touch of her hand on his face could send tingles down his spine,
And a simple whisper of her voice in his ear could ease all his pains,
And how heaven could exist between two people set apart in their own world.
He wondered if he had ever really loved her until this day,
If he had ever known what those three words really meant to him and her,
And he knows that he had, in times past, when love was felt and not said,
And how he would die for just one more day like the ones gone by.
A day awoken with him knocking at her door as she answered in a nighty,
And hugged him and smiled as he cried in her arms and she asking what was wrong
And him remembering what the future would bring, and confessing his love to her,
And how her eyes would tear to see the man that she loved returned to her.
And they would hold on to each other loving life for all it’s worth,
And him never letting a day go by without loving her like he should,
Experienced love now, understanding that it may end anytime,
But love eternally strong as she held in her arms, a son of his name.