have you ever been given a task at work

[stilleto]

that makes you wonder if it wasn't intended for someone else because it makes absolutely no sense to you, and no sense that you would be the one having to do it, and there's nobody to ask or who will answer your questions and you have to use software you don't even have access to or know how to use it.

makes me think there was a training class somewhere that i missed.

or, i've accidentally walked into the wrong office?

 

[fistfullofsteel]

sleep with the boss, that will make things better

 

[reno240]

that makes you wonder if it wasn't intended for someone else because it makes absolutely no sense to you, and no sense that you would be the one having to do it, and there's nobody to ask or who will answer your questions and you have to use software you don't even have access to or know how to use it.

makes me think there was a training class somewhere that i missed.

or, i've accidentally walked into the wrong office?

Oh - my old company used to pull that shit all the time!!

"Here - do this."
"But I don't have that program"
"Oh - we'll get you it"
"Great - thanks - but now I don't have access to it"
"OH - well I can't get you access"
"Well then I guess I won't be doing it will I?"

IDIOTS!

 

[Scotsman]

I've flat out refused to do tasks that I either am not qualified for, or that I see as a waste of resources.

Cheers,
Scotsman

 

[heatherrae]

Here is the weirdest thing I've ever been asked to do and I still wonder if was a joke on me.

I worked in a law firm when I was in my second semester of law school. I was green and wet behind the ears and most of the time was pretty lost. When you are clerking for a firm, though, you try to act like you know what you are doing and oh so self-assured. We all do it.

Anyway, partner and his favorite associate attorney pull me into a conference room and tell me they have a project for me. They are defending a sexual harassment claim and have a stack of plaintiff depositions. In those depositions they discussed with her specific things that men had said to her while at work. As you can imagine, it was peppered with some pretty colorful language.

Well, the partner asks me to make a list of swears, expletives and such. I said, "there is an index of all the words mentioned in the deposition in the index already. He said, "No, we don't want a list of words used in the deposition. We want common words not used in the deposition.

"Uuuummmmmmmm....okay," I squeaked.

I got up and took my little legal pad to my desk and said "Fuck." That was the first dirty word typed in the memo...lol.

Well, I went through every curse word I knew but would often not include the really, really vile ones because I didn't want them to know I knew that word.

When I completed the list over a couple of days. I snuck into the partner's office when he was gone to lunch and put it on his desk. I didn't want to look him in the eye when I handed it to him.

He NEVER MENTIONED IT AGAIN. This was very unusual. Usually, they would have comments about my work.

I was either had by a very funny practical joke or completely screwed up and misunderstood what they wanted me to do. Either way, I'm sure they laughed their asses off at me.

I was so embarassed I almost quit.

 

[PICK3]

that makes you wonder if it wasn't intended for someone else because it makes absolutely no sense to you, and no sense that you would be the one having to do it, and there's nobody to ask or who will answer your questions and you have to use software you don't even have access to or know how to use it.

makes me think there was a training class somewhere that i missed.

or, i've accidentally walked into the wrong office?

Yes, but then I find someone who knows how to accomplish the task, then I pawn their efforts off as my work

 

[stilleto]

Here is the weirdest thing I've ever been asked to do and I still wonder if was a joke on me.

I worked in a law firm when I was in my second semester of law school. I was green and wet behind the ears and most of the time was pretty lost. When you are clerking for a firm, though, you try to act like you know what you are doing and oh so self-assured. We all do it.

Anyway, partner and his favorite associate attorney pull me into a conference room and tell me they have a project for me. They are defending a sexual harassment claim and have a stack of plaintiff depositions. In those depositions they discussed with her specific things that men had said to her while at work. As you can imagine, it was peppered with some pretty colorful language.

Well, the partner asks me to make a list of swears, expletives and such. I said, "there is an index of all the words mentioned in the deposition in the index already. He said, "No, we don't want a list of words used in the deposition. We want common words not used in the deposition.

"Uuuummmmmmmm....okay," I squeaked.

I got up and took my little legal pad to my desk and said "Fuck." That was the first dirty word typed in the memo...lol.

Well, I went through every curse word I knew but would often not include the really, really vile ones because I didn't want them to know I knew that word.

When I completed the list over a couple of days. I snuck into the partner's office when he was gone to lunch and put it on his desk. I didn't want to look him in the eye when I handed it to him.

He NEVER MENTIONED IT AGAIN. This was very unusual. Usually, they would have comments about my work.

I was either had by a very funny practical joke or completely screwed up and misunderstood what they wanted me to do. Either way, I'm sure they laughed their asses off at me.

I was so embarassed I almost quit.

lol.. that IS pretty funny.

ok, get this. Yesterday the CEO of the company called me to his office. He had attended a seminar on increasing production and wanted to teach the production department how to employ the things he learned.
Part of his training with them was a demonstration on putting a pen together. Its the kind that clicks and you can screw it apart. there's the two outer parts of the pen, the little metal ring between the two, the ink, the little spring, and the clicker mechanism, which is three parts.
So he had a box of what i think was probably 144 pens, and he couldn't ask the production dept. to take them apart, since he'd be asking them to put them back together....

so yeah, yesterday i took apart 144 pens and put the parts into little baggies.
I did ask if that was a joke, and he was really nice about it but no, it wasn't a joke. Someone from the software engineering dept. came over to help, which made me SLIGHTLY less disgruntled at having to do such a completely idiotic task.

So just when i wonder if they think i'm an idiot, they give me a project that involves using software I was never trained on and don't have the correct access too because it involves changing the pricing on all of our products.

and yes, i'm having a liquid lunch.

 

[ksharp01]

Yes, but then I find someone who knows how to accomplish the task, then I pawn their efforts off as my work

My long lost twin.

 

[the_clockwork]

everyday!

 

[heatherrae]

lol.. that IS pretty funny.

ok, get this. Yesterday the CEO of the company called me to his office. He had attended a seminar on increasing production and wanted to teach the production department how to employ the things he learned.
Part of his training with them was a demonstration on putting a pen together. Its the kind that clicks and you can screw it apart. there's the two outer parts of the pen, the little metal ring between the two, the ink, the little spring, and the clicker mechanism, which is three parts.
So he had a box of what i think was probably 144 pens, and he couldn't ask the production dept. to take them apart, since he'd be asking them to put them back together....

so yeah, yesterday i took apart 144 pens and put the parts into little baggies.
I did ask if that was a joke, and he was really nice about it but no, it wasn't a joke. Someone from the software engineering dept. came over to help, which made me SLIGHTLY less disgruntled at having to do such a completely idiotic task.

So just when i wonder if they think i'm an idiot, they give me a project that involves using software I was never trained on and don't have the correct access too because it involves changing the pricing on all of our products.

and yes, i'm having a liquid lunch.

I think you and I got PWND.

Taking pens apart? Damn.

 

[Oceano]

Here is the weirdest thing I've ever been asked to do and I still wonder if was a joke on me.

I worked in a law firm when I was in my second semester of law school. I was green and wet behind the ears and most of the time was pretty lost. When you are clerking for a firm, though, you try to act like you know what you are doing and oh so self-assured. We all do it.

Anyway, partner and his favorite associate attorney pull me into a conference room and tell me they have a project for me. They are defending a sexual harassment claim and have a stack of plaintiff depositions. In those depositions they discussed with her specific things that men had said to her while at work. As you can imagine, it was peppered with some pretty colorful language.

Well, the partner asks me to make a list of swears, expletives and such. I said, "there is an index of all the words mentioned in the deposition in the index already. He said, "No, we don't want a list of words used in the deposition. We want common words not used in the deposition.

"Uuuummmmmmmm....okay," I squeaked.

I got up and took my little legal pad to my desk and said "Fuck." That was the first dirty word typed in the memo...lol.

Well, I went through every curse word I knew but would often not include the really, really vile ones because I didn't want them to know I knew that word.

When I completed the list over a couple of days. I snuck into the partner's office when he was gone to lunch and put it on his desk. I didn't want to look him in the eye when I handed it to him.

He NEVER MENTIONED IT AGAIN. This was very unusual. Usually, they would have comments about my work.

I was either had by a very funny practical joke or completely screwed up and misunderstood what they wanted me to do. Either way, I'm sure they laughed their asses off at me.

I was so embarassed I almost quit.

Lmfaooooo. thats brilliant.

 

[stilleto]

I think you and I got PWND.

Taking pens apart? Damn.

yeah. there's something like 150 people in this building. there's shipping and receiving people, there's secretaries, there are maintenance and purchasing people. there are even part time high school/college kids who do data entry stuff.

but who does it? the marketing assistant manager.

i would have preferred to write a list of dirty words.

 

[DannoMight]

I don't deal with software but I have had people put whole bricks in my mortar, nail my trowel to my mortarboard and put mortar over the nails so I don't see them when I go to grab my trowel and try and pick up 80 lbs of mud.

 

[all the whey]

Don't worry. You'll catch right on to how the fry machine works!

 

[Scotsman]

lol.. that IS pretty funny.

ok, get this. Yesterday the CEO of the company called me to his office. He had attended a seminar on increasing production and wanted to teach the production department how to employ the things he learned.
Part of his training with them was a demonstration on putting a pen together. Its the kind that clicks and you can screw it apart. there's the two outer parts of the pen, the little metal ring between the two, the ink, the little spring, and the clicker mechanism, which is three parts.
So he had a box of what i think was probably 144 pens, and he couldn't ask the production dept. to take them apart, since he'd be asking them to put them back together....

so yeah, yesterday i took apart 144 pens and put the parts into little baggies.
I did ask if that was a joke, and he was really nice about it but no, it wasn't a joke. Someone from the software engineering dept. came over to help, which made me SLIGHTLY less disgruntled at having to do such a completely idiotic task.

So just when i wonder if they think i'm an idiot, they give me a project that involves using software I was never trained on and don't have the correct access too because it involves changing the pricing on all of our products.

and yes, i'm having a liquid lunch.

I thought you had a thing for office products?

Cheers,
Scotsman

 

[Turd Ferguson]

I mostly give out the tasks.

 

[youngguns]

Exactly, once they were like "clean the toilets" and I'm like isn't that the janitors job?

 

[stilleto]

I thought you had a thing for office products?

Cheers,
Scotsman

i do

 

[heatherrae]

When I was in law school, I had a partner who sent me to wash his car, pick up his dry cleaning, buy his wife gifts, pack things in boxes and move them. One of the other partners found out about it and forbade him from giving me any more assignments and apologized to me.

 

[nefertiti]

One of my coworkers went on leave for a month when her mother died unexpectedly. She had to fly to Malaysia and help her father get things sorted out. While she was out, every account she was working on was suddenly my responsibility even though I didn't have ANY background with the companies involved. It was a really really shitty month for me.

 

[youngguns]

When I was in law school, I had a partner who sent me to wash his car, pick up his dry cleaning, buy his wife gifts, pack things in boxes and move them. One of the other partners found out about it and forbade him from giving me any more assignments and apologized to me.

LOL! I love women, they know how to do stuff, that's key.

 

[Scotsman]

i do

If I worked at Office Depot you'd try and use me for the discount wouldn't you?

Cheers,
Scotsman

 

[vixensghost]

They gave you the task because you can handle it,think of it as a compliment to your mad skills.

 

[stilleto]

They gave you the task because you can handle it,think of it as a compliment to your mad skills.

well thanks.

I HAVE THEM ALL FOOLED! BWAAAAAAHAAAAAAHAAAAAAAA!

 

[javaguru]

that makes you wonder if it wasn't intended for someone else because it makes absolutely no sense to you, and no sense that you would be the one having to do it, and there's nobody to ask or who will answer your questions and you have to use software you don't even have access to or know how to use it.

makes me think there was a training class somewhere that i missed.

or, i've accidentally walked into the wrong office?

Welcome to nearly everyday of my life but it's the constant demands by clients and not a boss.

 

[stilleto]

Welcome to nearly everyday of my life but it's the constant demands by clients and not a boss.

do you get a lot of emails in languages you don't speak?

i do. its GREAT!

 

[blueta2]

do you get a lot of emails in languages you don't speak?

i do. its GREAT!

you may want to give her a call

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ncirovhlQcw

 

[swolenole]

that makes you wonder if it wasn't intended for someone else because it makes absolutely no sense to you, and no sense that you would be the one having to do it, and there's nobody to ask or who will answer your questions and you have to use software you don't even have access to or know how to use it.

makes me think there was a training class somewhere that i missed.

or, i've accidentally walked into the wrong office?

They only hired you for your rib covers.....my advice is to STFU and wear something low cut if you plan on keeping your job...

 

[stilleto]

One of my coworkers went on leave for a month when her mother died unexpectedly. She had to fly to Malaysia and help her father get things sorted out. While she was out, every account she was working on was suddenly my responsibility even though I didn't have ANY background with the companies involved. It was a really really shitty month for me.

that's pretty much why i was given this task- the person who handles it will be away...

and i'd like to think they somehow think i'm a genius.

 

[SpyWizard]

that makes you wonder if it wasn't intended for someone else because it makes absolutely no sense to you, and no sense that you would be the one having to do it, and there's nobody to ask or who will answer your questions and you have to use software you don't even have access to or know how to use it.

makes me think there was a training class somewhere that i missed.

or, i've accidentally walked into the wrong office?

I'd go to your immediate supervisor and ask why you are being set up to fail?? because it's obvious that their expectations are not what you can fulfill..

Or maybe they are attempting to see if you can handle more/different responsibilities, or they ..................

 

[javaguru]

do you get a lot of emails in languages you don't speak?

i do. its GREAT!

Not that bad, mostly phone calls with broken English. The Germans I've worked with have very good English.The big problem with clients is having them change a project that requires me to work in a whole new skill set, that's how I learned PHP.

 

[Scotsman]

that's pretty much why i was given this task- the person who handles it will be away...

and i'd like to think they somehow think i'm a genius.

You have a full-time person who disassembles pens?

Are you hiring? Little aap is looking for work.

Cheers,
Scotsman

 

[stilleto]

You have a full-time person who disassembles pens?

Are you hiring? Little aap is looking for work.

Cheers,
Scotsman

no no.
the task i have now is way complicated. i mean, way more so that taking apart pens.

 

[Scotsman]

no no.
the task i have now is way complicated. i mean, way more so that taking apart pens.

Sorry aap I tried for you buddy.

Are you currently taking apart staplers?
Don't worry according to younguns my job is super simple and anyone can do it. You and I should hang out and be simpletons.

Cheers,
Scotsman

 

[stilleto]

Sorry aap I tried for you buddy.

Are you currently taking apart staplers?
Don't worry according to younguns my job is super simple and anyone can do it. You and I should hang out and be simpletons.

Cheers,
Scotsman

can we do a two person deadlift when we're done?


i'm pricing physics labs. woohooooo!

 

[Scotsman]

can we do a two person deadlift when we're done?


i'm pricing physics labs. woohooooo!

We'll either have to put you on a box or me in a hole(this somehow sounds dirty) but yeah I'm game for it.

Physics labs? Sweet. Cue anytime now.

Cheers,
Scotsman

 

[stilleto]

We'll either have to put you on a box or me in a hole(this somehow sounds dirty) but yeah I'm game for it.

Physics labs? Sweet. Cue anytime now.

Cheers,
Scotsman

hmm. maybe we can do both.
(me on the box and you in a hole)


this deadlift thing is sounding much better than it used to.

 

[nefertiti]

that's pretty much why i was given this task- the person who handles it will be away...

and i'd like to think they somehow think i'm a genius.

That was how I rationalized it as well. Not only am I brilliant and efficient, I can handle the pressure. Or so I told myself in the mirror every morning before going in at 5:00 AM to put in another 18 hour day.

 

[stilleto]

That was how I rationalized it as well. Not only am I brilliant and efficient, I can handle the pressure. Or so I told myself in the mirror every morning before going in at 5:00 AM to put in another 18 hour day.

ugh, that sucks.
i felt better in the afternoon, when i was told i'd be in charge of quite a few people for the week as well.


of course, i have no idea who those people actually are because i'm new there and their foreign names all sound the same to me.

 

[Scotsman]

hmm. maybe we can do both.
(me on the box and you in a hole)


this deadlift thing is sounding much better than it used to.

Oh it's on now.

Cheers,
Scotsman