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Goth Attitude Difficulties: RottenW, help me out here.

ChefWide

ChefWide

Elite Mentor
Platinum
Ok. Cruella de Fat is a goth that works here.

I held the door open for her the other day, she barked at me.

I was getting into the elevator, saw that she was running to catch it so I held the door open button for her: she got pissed.

I was on the phone in line at the store (anoying I know, but clients will be clients) and I let the person behind me go to be polite: it was Her Angstness and, again, she got pissy with me.

RottenWillow, what the hell? I know some polite and engaging goths, have I offended the goth sensibility by being polite? Is letting woman go first/hold the door shit so sexist that it deserves catching attitude?

Or does Woe Stormcloud just need to be slugged in the throat?
 
Just tell her to sotp being such a bitch and acting like a "woman" and that by being a bitch she is playing into the stereotyplical womans role.
 
Chef LOL@ lilmissattitude

One time a girl and I were entering an elevator at the same time. I let her go in first, and she proceeds to fall face first into the elevator car.

I was like "OMG, are you ok" and she replies sarcastically "No, I'm gonna die"

So I said "Then get your ass off the floor cause your blocking the entrance"
 
Get a hammer and a wooden stake and be there when the elevator doors open.
Make a ring of garlic around your work area.
Everytime you see her, hold up a crucifix.

And always refer to her as "Vlad".
 
ChefWide said:
Ok. Cruella de Fat is a goth that works here.

I held the door open for her the other day, she barked at me.

I was getting into the elevator, saw that she was running to catch it so I held the door open button for her: she got pissed.

I was on the phone in line at the store (anoying I know, but clients will be clients) and I let the person behind me go to be polite: it was Her Angstness and, again, she got pissy with me.

RottenWillow, what the hell? I know some polite and engaging goths, have I offended the goth sensibility by being polite? Is letting woman go first/hold the door shit so sexist that it deserves catching attitude?

Or does Woe Stormcloud just need to be slugged in the throat?
Click to expand...

FEMINAZI.

You can't win with these people just try and ignore it the best you can.

Cheers,
Scotsman
 
Eh CheffyNugga......

It's simple. Ignore her totally and see what happens, problem solved.

Typical goth bitch in all her angst-ridden Fuckoffedness.....



DIV

:chomp:
 
DIVISION said:
Eh CheffyNugga......

It's simple. Ignore her totally and see what happens, problem solved.

Typical goth bitch in all her angst-ridden Fuckoffedness.....



DIV

:chomp:
Click to expand...


Great minds....

*cough*
 
velvett said:
Great minds....

*cough*
Click to expand...


Breaking down goth chicks is an art form, only when you start fucking with their minds does it actually start to pay off.


DIV

:chomp:
 
Wear a priest collar to work and when you see her splash water on her and say:

The power of Christ compels you
The power of Christ compels you
The power of Christ compels you
The power of Christ compels you
 
Velv, Div: I will try to ignore her, but thats about as much fun as dentistry. I must find a way to torture her, to freak her dark and forboding overwrought psuedo angst into a GrandMal wigathon. I successfully torture Von Vestenpenis to the point where I think he actually goes into the bathroom and has a hearty cry at least every other day, I MUST be able to intellectually flog the bejebus out of Mrs. Ed.

Y: Dude, she is undoable to the point that there are no longer any buzzards on any shitwagons in our entire time zone, and in my current state of affairs you would have to consider her either dead or an invertibrate for me not to consider a cleaning closet nooner with her. Nuff said. The flanging of Holy Water is priceless, I will save that for last.

Zebo: I am in the direct family line of Vlad Dracuul, no shit, so don't go whipping out any wooden stakes around me.

I will devise a way to bring her to her social knees a la Mary Fistenglover. must. find. the way.
 
She just gave me the 'What the fuck is that?' look over my lovely chicken breast, barley and brown rice salad.

She is wearing one of those 'Caboose Concealer' long sweater/coat things (in a lovely shade of black) that Pear Bodies think hides the fact that they are clearly smuggling watermellons in their trousers. The fact that she has tented the 'Back 40' is not nearly as anoying as the too long Morticia Adams sleaves that look like crocheted bell bottoms for your arms. You know the look?
 
ChefWide said:
She is wearing one of those 'Caboose Concealer' long sweater/coat things (in a lovely shade of black) that Pear Bodies think hides the fact that they are clearly smuggling watermellons in their trousers. The fact that she has tented the 'Back 40' is not nearly as anoying as the too long Morticia Adams sleaves that look like crocheted bell bottoms for your arms. You know the look?
Click to expand...

Is there anything remotely attractive about the goth bitch?

ANYTHING.... ANYTHING???.....Bueller?.....Bueller???..........



DIV

:chomp:
 
DIVISION said:
Is there anything remotely attractive about the goth bitch?

ANYTHING.... ANYTHING???.....Bueller?.....Bueller???..........



DIV

:chomp:
Click to expand...

Yes, SHE'S MORTAL.

Which means she can be crushed by Cheffy Smoove's bag o' tricks learned in the Battles of The Vest.

She is probably a very nice person just before she wakes up, but I can't concern myself with that right now. I am horny and have no outlet, so I must take it out this hapless bovine that crossed my path on a 'red' day. Nancy Reagan and I will kick the shit out of this trogladyte.
 
Last edited:
ChefWide said:
Yes, SHE'S MORTAL.

Which means she can be crushed by Cheffy Smoove's bag o' tricks learned in the Battles of The Vest.

She is probably a very nice person just before she wakes up, but I can't concern myself with that right now. I am horny and have no outlet, so I must take it out this hapless bovine that crossed my on a 'red' day. Nancy Reagan and I will kick the shit out of this trogladyte.
Click to expand...

I thought Nancy was still fight the "War on Drugs" ? :confused:

Taking out a whimsical goth bitch in all her glory is probably not worth the trouble it would cause.




DIV

:chomp:
 
next time ask her if she has a problem

when she spouts some shit about not needing any help tell her you would do it for any human person out of courtesy, apologise for using social graces and being a gentleman (sarcastically) and that you will endevour to not make the same mistake with her again
 
I walked into the kitchen a moment ago to see her and her cubicle mate, Anna Nervosa, eating lunch. Anna was wolfing down some diet coke and air while Dolly Depresso was deep-throating a leviathan pepperoni, cheese and mayo hero sandwich with extra mayo and a side of mayo. The very foundations of the building must have been straining under the combined stresses of that sandwich and dizzying momentum of her lower jaw.




the Horror.




Unable to stop myself, and much to my surprise, I blurted out "WHOA! Can I help you with that, Ma'am?!" only to effect a silence so total that the very particles of dust in the shafts of sunlight were locked in suspended animation. The compressors in the refrigeration system ceased to work for the duration of our 'moment' together. Silence at its most primordial.

All I could hear was the blood gently coursing through my veins as I stared at the chipmunk cheeked gargoyle, mayo flowing from the corners of her maw, eyes with that glassy Deer-in-the-Headlights inner fire. A flash of recognition contorted her face, and in that brief moment she went from insensate to chewing like an industrial wood chipper, trying to masticate the sheer mass of her near infinite payload fast enough to say something in return... what would it be? I was dying to know. The thought "Let's do this, Bovina." slowly came to the surface.

My office mate, G., walked in to the Cloister of Silence and broke the spell, cutting short her quest for commentary by asking, "What happened in here?" Her chewing once again halted, more by the awareness that I would have to say something to G., but possibly by virtue that her connective tissues chose that exact moment to fail under the sheer strain. My parting remark to him escaped my mouth without effort or contrivance, just a moment in passing. I think it has set the stage for a cage match.

"Food fight. Guess who won..."
 
ChefWide said:
I walked into the kitchen a moment ago to see her and her cubicle mate, Anna Nervosa, eating lunch. Anna was wolfing down some diet coke and air while Dolly Depresso was deep-throating a leviathan pepperoni, cheese and mayo hero sandwich with extra mayo and a side of mayo. The very foundations of the building must have been straining under the combined stresses of that sandwich and dizzying momentum of her lower jaw.




the Horror.




Unable to stop myself, and much to my surprise, I blurted out "WHOA! Can I help you with that, Ma'am?!" only to effect a silence so total that the very particles of dust in the shafts of sunlight were locked in suspended animation. The compressors in the refrigeration system ceased to work for the duration of our 'moment' together. Silence at its most primordial.

All I could hear was the blood gently coursing through my veins as I stared at the chipmunk cheeked gargoyle, mayo flowing from the corners of her maw, eyes with that glassy Deer-in-the-Headlights inner fire. A flash of recognition contorted her face, and in that brief moment she went from insensate to chewing like an industrial wood chipper, trying to masticate the sheer mass of her near infinite payload fast enough to say something in return... what would it be? I was dying to know. The thought "Let's do this, Bovina." slowly came to the surface.

My office mate, G., walked in to the Cloister of Silence and broke the spell, cutting short her quest for commentary by asking, "What happened in here?" Her chewing once again halted, more by the awareness that I would have to say something to G., but possibly by virtue that her connective tissues chose that exact moment to fail under the sheer strain. My parting remark to him escaped my mouth without effort or contrivance, just a moment in passing. I think it has set the stage for a cage match.

"Food fight. Guess who won..."
Click to expand...

You've taken this tentative situation to a whole 'nother level = you're starting to fuck with her head, Cheffy....

It's obvious and it's funny.



DIV

:chomp:
 
She is definitely NOT a 'SuicideGirl', she is a psuedo something, but adheres to the Sears & Roebuck 'The New Goth You: Plus Size' line of clothing.

I am off today (you might say that about me on any given day...) so I will have to reap what I have sewn on monday. Since she will indubitably be getting hammered at 'Sunday is Faghagday' two for one night on sundays, and have a double lard with cheese hangover on monday, things should be ripe for jibing.
 
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