I went on a cruise once. it was on royal carribean and it was their biggest ship in their fleet at the time (probably '96 since I was a soph in college). it was really near christmas time and we (my mom and I) were going to the Bahamas.
we flew into Miami and then went to the boat, but there was some problem and there was an fbi raid or something on the boat, so we were delayed 10 hours getting on the boat. then both miami and the bahamas had the coldest weather they've ever had. so I had to buy new clothes in miami. that was when I saw that the streets there are weird - one street can be really nice, and the next street over can be bombed out gang land.
then we finally got on the boat and it was full of either old people, or fat people, or old fat people. oddly enough, there was a female bodybuilder on the ship, I recognized her as one of them, but don't know which one. she was big and manly looking.
as we were cruising along eventually, we had dinner and I had heard the food was good - nope, it sucked. and you have to eat during fixed times- they let you eat based on where your status on the ship is. the closer to the deck your room is, the more you pay and the better they treat you.
there was gambling on the boat and a mall. from what I could tell, the shit they were selling was twice as expensive as on land.
the pool and shit on the deck was worthless b/c it was so windy they wouldn't let anyone outside for fear of them getting blown off the deck.
then that night, some dude had a heart attack so they had to land a helicopter on the ship to fly him out. in order to do so the ship had to slow down a lot and I guess that effects its stability, so the ship started swaying a lot and I felt pretty ill.
then the weather got so bad that we couldn't go anywhere and they just circled - so for 8 hours I watched Mission Impossible over and over again in spanish (which I don't speak) b/c it was all the satellite feed had. occasionally it would play some movie about a little girl and danny devito. also in spanish.
finally we got to the Bahamas and it was cold and rainy and they gave us 4 hours to go buy some shit. I stepped off the boat and was immidiately attacked by little kids pulling me over to their fat ass mothers that wanted to put my hair in braids for money.
I went back on the ship b/c it sucked outside.
we were suposed to go to an island that royal carribean owns that is supposedly pretty cool, but it was bad weather and they said we couldn't dock in it.
so overall it sucked really bad. then they gave us one free cruise to make up for it. as if I ever want to do that again. even if the weather was good, it was still lots of fat white trash.
then later I was asked to be part of a class action suit against them b/c they were scamming people on the tickets during that time. I didn't do it b/c the end result after the legal battle was - and I'm not joking, $5 off your next cruise.
you would have to pay me a significant amount of money to ever go on one again.
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