god...as much as i hate asking advice on here...here goes

[p0ink]

ok, i am in a rather weird situation right now, and as much as it pains me to admit it, i don't have the slightest clue as to how i should go about handling it.

where oh where do i begin...?

ok, my best friend is currently involved with another girl i am close friends with. well, they have been trying to hook up her best friend with yours truly here, which i had some objections to in the first place for various reasons (we were already friends to begin with [i dont like fucking up friendships], i could tell she had some issues, etc), but i went along with their little game. why? i havent the slightest clue.

well, me and the girl i was already friends with (the one that wants me) hang out a few days ago. well, one of my favorite things to do is get coffee and hang out, talk, chill, etc. well, while having our little discussion, i start asking her more about herself, and she was a bit hesitant at first, but after some gentle prodding she told me some shit about herself....

and holy shit, it blew me away. i didnt think it was possible for a person to be such a self-loathing, self-deprecating human being. i not only thought, 'i may want to put on rubber gloves if i so much as touch a fork she used' but it also bummed me out at the same time. i'm not sure which one of us was more bummed...me hearing this totally fucked shit, or her reliving it by telling me all of it.

anyhow, i drop her off and havent spoken to her since, and this is where the problem is. since me, my best-friend, the girl he is with/another close friend of mine, and the fucked up girl who is best friends with her and a friend of mine before this, all hang out, i dont know how to go about any of this. should i call the fucked up girl back and see what's up, or avoid her like the plague?

if i dont call her back, this will undoubtedly make things a bit awkward in this little group of ours, which i dont want, but at the same time, i dont feel comfortable calling her back.

and you wonder why i try never to get involved with friends...because shit like this happens.

so lets hear some opinions.

 

[p0ink]

20 views and no response? i'm hoping some of you are writing an opinion so correct and so profound that is worthy of being published.

 

[big4life]

It's not like you slept with her or anything.You can still be friends, just make sure that she knows that is how you feel. Everyone has baggage of some sort that they bring with them into a relationship.

 

[p0ink]

It's not like you slept with her or anything.

because she had to go and tell me about herself. *grumble*

yes, 'ignorance is bliss', but i guess in a situation like this it could have turned out dangerous.

 

[Imnotdutcheither]

I dont get it........why havent you spoken to her? People tell other people shit........thats what friends are for. Aside from that, she trusted you enough to tell you this stuff (and you did ask!) so the worst thing you could do is run and hide. Give the girl some support for fucks sake. Nobody is asking you to jump in the sack with her.........just do what freinds do.

ok, i am in a rather weird situation right now, and as much as it pains me to admit it, i don't have the slightest clue as to how i should go about handling it.

where oh where do i begin...?

ok, my best friend is currently involved with another girl i am close friends with. well, they have been trying to hook up her best friend with yours truly here, which i had some objections to in the first place for various reasons (we were already friends to begin with [i dont like fucking up friendships], i could tell she had some issues, etc), but i went along with their little game. why? i havent the slightest clue.

well, me and the girl i was already friends with (the one that wants me) hang out a few days ago. well, one of my favorite things to do is get coffee and hang out, talk, chill, etc. well, while having our little discussion, i start asking her more about herself, and she was a bit hesitant at first, but after some gentle prodding she told me some shit about herself....

and holy shit, it blew me away. i didnt think it was possible for a person to be such a self-loathing, self-deprecating human being. i not only thought, 'i may want to put on rubber gloves if i so much as touch a fork she used' but it also bummed me out at the same time. i'm not sure which one of us was more bummed...me hearing this totally fucked shit, or her reliving it by telling me all of it.

anyhow, i drop her off and havent spoken to her since, and this is where the problem is. since me, my best-friend, the girl he is with/another close friend of mine, and the fucked up girl who is best friends with her and a friend of mine before this, all hang out, i dont know how to go about any of this. should i call the fucked up girl back and see what's up, or avoid her like the plague?

if i dont call her back, this will undoubtedly make things a bit awkward in this little group of ours, which i dont want, but at the same time, i dont feel comfortable calling her back.

and you wonder why i try never to get involved with friends...because shit like this happens.

so lets hear some opinions.

 

[Gymgurl]

Is it possible to just remain friends with her without sex? Your friends should understand (since they are your friends) that you are just interested in being friends and that is all

 

[p0ink]

Re: Re: god...as much as i hate asking advice on here...here goes

I dont get it........why havent you spoken to her? People tell other people shit........thats what friends are for. Aside from that, she trusted you enough to tell you this stuff (and you did ask!) so the worst thing you could do is run and hide. Give the girl some support for fucks sake. Nobody is asking you to jump in the sack with her.........just do what freinds do.

who is running and hiding? i havent spoken to her since because:

a. i feel bad for even asking....once she started explaining things, her whole mood and demeanor changed entirely. things just went entirely awkward, and i really hate when that happens

b. it escapes me right now, but i will think of something.

 

[p0ink]

Is it possible to just remain friends with her without sex? Your friends should understand (since they are your friends) that you are just interested in being friends and that is all

see, that's another thing. i dont know whether or not she was telling me this shit to try to prove she is 'different' or some shit, since she knows i hang out with some pretty eccentric people.

 

[PIGEON-RAT]

it depends what you were planning to say when you called her. don't play games because you're afraid of being honest, things will just turn out worse.

 

[Imnotdutcheither]

Re: Re: Re: god...as much as i hate asking advice on here...here goes

Looking at it from her point of view it would be very easy for her to think that she had scared you off..........hence the running and hiding comment. I could have put it better!!

If her demeanour changed then you know shes a little sensitive about it........so carry on as normal so she knows its all good.

who is running and hiding? i havent spoken to her since because:

a. i feel bad for even asking....once she started explaining things, her whole mood and demeanor changed entirely. things just went entirely awkward, and i really hate when that happens

b. it escapes me right now, but i will think of something.

 

[Lao Tzu]

hell if i know. maybe you can imply to her that you aren't capable of competently handling/dealing with such emotionally charged issues, especially at this transitional point in your life. that might deflect some of the criticism she could have for you.

 

[p0ink]

Re: Re: Re: Re: god...as much as i hate asking advice on here...here goes

Looking at it from her point of view it would be very easy for her to think that she had scared you off..........hence the running and hiding comment. I could have put it better!!

no, no. now that i think about it, you pretty much hit it on the head. i guess the problem is more on my behalf than on hers.

 

[Gymgurl]

How old is she is if I may ask

 

[p0ink]

Is it possible to just remain friends with her without sex? Your friends should understand (since they are your friends) that you are just interested in being friends and that is all

ok, i see that you're a female. could you please explain why someone would go so in-depth about their fucked up life with someone else, especially when they havent known that other person all that well.

 

[p0ink]

How old is she is if I may ask

20

 

[Gymgurl]

Please do not get mad at me when I say some of it is her age. It sounds like she might be trying to impress you by trying to seem different. You have not really given any info on what she has said but she might be an attention seeker or playing the victim role. I tend to think it might be more her age and she is just trying to fit in or impress you

 

[danielson]

i would say

push the friendship down to 'aquaintance' level....if they (guy friend and his girl) ask you whats up, tell them 'you dont want a relationship right now/u want to concentrate on the army 100%/you dont think you guys are a good personality match'


ur buds gf will amost certainly take her side or side more with her (because she's a chick and it would seem you blew her off in her opinon), your bud with you. which means it will make thing awkward when you hang unless you play it this way

the only other thing you can do is come clean with your bud and his gf and tell them you think she is female scum and ou want nothing more to do with her.




there are '2' girls i have had this hapen to me, the 1st one actually went so far as to split up a marriage then dum the guy flat on his ass and he had to check into psychiatric care (surise surise she doesnt think she is even remotely responsible) the 2nd is just a bitch. with both i was trying to bang them, and with both i did tell them what i thought they did was wrong, which they ddnt take very well at all (no sense of consequence)


since things went sour, i cut off contact with both and barely speak to either, as both of them and women like them are users. if she isnt a user...stay an aquaintance. if you are friends she will be able to deal with the fact you dont aprove of her actions and hopefully you can move on from there

 

[p0ink]

Please do not get mad at me when I say some of it is her age. It sounds like she might be trying to impress you by trying to seem different. You have not really given any info on what she has said but she might be an attention seeker or playing the victim role. I tend to think it might be more her age and she is just trying to fit in or impress you

why would i get mad? people are retarded at all ages; i'm starting to believe the number of years acrued has very little to do with anything in regards to personality or maturity.

 

[Gymgurl]

YOu are 100% correct on that

 

[p0ink]

fuckity, fuck fuck. i'll just give her a ring and see what's up.

*groan*

i'm beginning to think i'm a sadist.

 

[Gymgurl]

Don't call her if you don't want anything more than friends. She will think you are interested in more!

 

[p0ink]

Don't call her if you don't want anything more than friends. She will think you are interested in more!

dammit! see that's what i was worried about. god, i wish things didn't have to be so complicated. i'm home on leave and bored out of my fucking skull, so getting coffee/seeing a show/catching a movie with a friend sounds good right now, but i dont want them getting the wrong impression.

*grumble*

 

[Gymgurl]

Well the good part is that you are on leave...so go out and don't touch her or give her any indication that you want her sexually. Tell her because you are gone alot you don't want a realationship but would like to hang out as friends only

 

[velvett]

What did she tell you about her life?

 

[Deleted member 33117]

I'm with velvett, what did she tell you to freak you out this much???

 

[p0ink]

um, this group is people i train with. so even when i am back from leave, i will see them again. she just happens to live in the same area i do.

 

[Deleted member 33117]

Anyway, seriously, what did she say? You can always remain friends, of course depending on what is actionally going on here, and let her know you like her as a friend and want to continue your friendship, but you just don't have those type of feelings towards her.

 

[p0ink]

1. she was arrested for making counterfeit money
2. she had a court mandate to attend anger management
3. she used to have some drug habbits
4. she had a roomate who was a stripper
5. she told she 'used to be' a lesbian (a few months or something)
6. she is super clingy
7. she used to fuck around ALOT
8. she was raped at 16 by church elder
9. i know im leaving out some other shit.

yeah, it's fucked up, or maybe i'm just sheltered.

 

[Deleted member 33117]

Ok, what is messed up is, the last two girls I dated, combined cover that entire list if you replace the church elder w/ first boyfriend and 16 w/ 14. Wait, neither of them counterfited money. How do I end up with girls like this... they always admit this after we start dating. I think I attract them somehow.

Ok bro, I see you delima. Let her know that you really just want to be friends, and hope she doesn't flip out on you.

 

[p0ink]

How do I end up with girls like this... they always admit this after we start dating. I think I attract them somehow.

join the club, man. i swear, every female i attract is a raving lunatic, and i don't know why. contrary to what many of you may think of me and/or base your opinions of me on the contents of my posts, i am totally the 'boy next door'.

 

[velvett]

1. she was arrested for making counterfeit money
2. she had a court mandate to attend anger management
3. she used to have some drug habbits
4. she had a roomate who was a stripper
5. she told she 'used to be' a lesbian (a few months or something)
6. she is super clingy
7. she used to fuck around ALOT
8. she was raped at 16 by church elder
9. i know im leaving out some other shit.

yeah, it's fucked up, or maybe i'm just sheltered.

First thought is that she thinks that by telling you this you will think she is 'cool'.

Hard to judge someone you can't see in action.

 

[Deleted member 33117]

Actually, now that I think about it, having dated these type of chicks. Tell her either that you care about her, or would like to date her exclusively and she'll haul ass, and never talk to you again.

 

[big4life]

1. she was arrested for making counterfeit money
2. she had a court mandate to attend anger management
3. she used to have some drug habbits
4. she had a roomate who was a stripper
5. she told she 'used to be' a lesbian (a few months or something)
6. she is super clingy
7. she used to fuck around ALOT
8. she was raped at 16 by church elder
9. i know im leaving out some other shit.

yeah, it's fucked up, or maybe i'm just sheltered.

That sounds like a lot to drop on someone at one time.

Maybe she knows that her friends are trying to set ya'll up and she wanted to scare you off?

 

[p0ink]

well, i am far from impressed by her laundry list of activities. too bad i'm awfully bored, need something to do, and dont want to deal with some bullshit awkwardness when i go back.

 

[p0ink]

That sounds like a lot to drop on someone at one time.

Maybe she knows that her friends are trying to set ya'll up and she wanted to scare you off?

i highly doubt that, because:

a. it wasnt me insisting we hang out over break
b. it wasnt me going out of my way to talk/chill whenever there is free time.
c. it wasnt me calling to hang out.

plus, you may have forgotten it is me we're talking about

 

[velvett]

I would stickl with the polite and preocupied approach when you see her with your friends.


You're friends are pretty thick not to realize that would not be any sort of match made between you. Sound like they wanted to hook you up for their own selfish reasons.


Good LUCK

 

[biggest_man_in_the_world]

Don't really see your problem.

She's obviously fucked up and i assume you don't want anything to do with her beyond friendship (maybe not even friendship?).

So just meet up with her, have a good time (if that's possible?) and just tell as nicely as possible that you're not interested in a relationship with her (make up some bs about you not wanting a girlfriend at the moment if it helps).

Things shouldn't be so awkward then next time you and you're friends get together. If it is, who cares? It'll blow over...

 

[p0ink]

Don't really see your problem.

She's obviously fucked up and i assume you don't want anything to do with her beyond friendship (maybe not even friendship?).

So just meet up with her, have a good time (if that's possible?) and just tell as nicely as possible that you're not interested in a relationship with her (make up some bs about you not wanting a girlfriend at the moment if it helps).

Things shouldn't be so awkward then next time you and you're friends get together. If it is, who cares? It'll blow over...

see, that's the problem. if i don't call, she will probably think i am avoiding her because of all the shit she said, which will fuck shit up, and at the same time i feel weird as fuck calling. so what do i do?

god, this sounds like some straight-up bullshit drama, i know. don't mind me.

 

[biggest_man_in_the_world]

see, that's the problem. if i don't call, she will probably think i am avoiding her because of all the shit she said, which will fuck shit up, and at the same time i feel weird as fuck calling. so what do i do?

god, this sounds like some straight-up bullshit drama, i know. don't mind me.

Exactly, If you dont call then next time you and your friends meet up things WILL be awkward.

So, again, Call her...arrange to meet up specifically as friends, and just try to have a good time while letting her know you only want to be friends.

To be honest I think you're making it more of a problem than it really is. Good luck anyway.

 

[velvett]

see, that's the problem. if i don't call, she will probably think i am avoiding her because of all the shit she said, which will fuck shit up, and at the same time i feel weird as fuck calling. so what do i do?

god, this sounds like some straight-up bullshit drama, i know. don't mind me.

Did you ever call her before?
Let her call you and if she does be honest.

 

[p0ink]

Exactly, If you dont call then next time you and your friends meet up things WILL be awkward.

So, again, Call her...arrange to meet up specifically as friends, and just try to have a good time while letting her know you only want to be friends.

To be honest I think you're making it more of a problem than it really is. Good luck anyway.

i dont like how this ball is in my court. motherfucker has my phone #.

 

[p0ink]

Did you ever call her before?
Let her call you and if she does be honest.

yeah, we used to talk all the fucking time, but ever since that night.

god, this is stupid high-school types of games bullshit. this is retarded, and i am pissed at myself for even putting myself in this situation in the first place. *grumble*

 

[biggest_man_in_the_world]

Well like you said, you put yourself in this position, so now you can get yourself out of it too.

The fact that you used to talk all the time makes it even more important that you call her now.

There's no guarantee she'll call you, so you may as well do it, else be faced with a very awkward situation next time you meet.

Anyway, go call her now (dont leave a message) and then post back in a few days time telling us how the problem has re-solved itself but she's still a psycho.

 

[EnderJE]

i highly doubt that, because:

a. it wasnt me insisting we hang out over break
b. it wasnt me going out of my way to talk/chill whenever there is free time.
c. it wasnt me calling to hang out.

plus, you may have forgotten it is me we're talking about

I could be a ploy. I remember doing something similiar along time ago.

 

[mrjoker5150]

Listen to me, I am ALWAYS right.

Call her back, but blow her off. When she asks about hanging out again, tell her you are busy. Let every one of her calls go to voicemail. Return one call for every two she makes. Then make it three.

Slowly ween her away. Don't be a dick, just be completely disinterested in her. Do not let her think you care about what she has to say. She will see you are just "not that into her," and she'll back away. And the best part is, you come out looking like a nice guy, disinterested, but a decent person.

 

[GodOfThunder]

Is it possible to just remain friends with her without sex? Your friends should understand (since they are your friends) that you are just interested in being friends and that is all

Not with a girl.

 

[Imnotdutcheither]

1. So what? A lot of people on herebreak the law.
2. Same as one..........many people here with issues like that.
3. The key bit is USED to.
4. Uhhhh.........so?
5. Uhhhh.........so?
6. Many women are......
7. Uhhhh..........so?
8. Ok thats a big deal.

1. she was arrested for making counterfeit money
2. she had a court mandate to attend anger management
3. she used to have some drug habbits
4. she had a roomate who was a stripper
5. she told she 'used to be' a lesbian (a few months or something)
6. she is super clingy
7. she used to fuck around ALOT
8. she was raped at 16 by church elder
9. i know im leaving out some other shit.

yeah, it's fucked up, or maybe i'm just sheltered.

 

[biggest_man_in_the_world]

Listen to me, I am ALWAYS right.

Call her back, but blow her off. When she asks about hanging out again, tell her you are busy. Let every one of her calls go to voicemail. Return one call for every two she makes. Then make it three.

Slowly ween her away. Don't be a dick, just be completely disinterested in her. Do not let her think you care about what she has to say. She will see you are just "not that into her," and she'll back away. And the best part is, you come out looking like a nice guy, disinterested, but a decent person.

This will likely not work.

See, the problem with this is that if you show disinterest with women then they'll want you even more. They have to be told in order to get the message.

 

[p0ink]

bah, i'll just call her today. i spent my time last night (this sounds bad for a friday night, but i am at my parents place for leave...*grumble*) reading "and the ass saw the angel".

very good book....kinda depressing.

 

[Deleted member 33117]

That did you talk about when you called her?

 

[p0ink]

i didnt call yet, because i am eating breakfast. i'll post up when i get off the phone.

 

[BO-DEN]

where oh where do i begin...?

ok, my best friend is currently involved with another girl i am close friends with.

lmao

i cant relate....

i cant be friends with women unless they are sexual, or im sexual with one of her friends...


BO-DEN

 

[GoldenDelicious]

what i dont get is how you were 'friends' with her and yet seem to have known so little about her

anyway to quote the genie in aladdin...bee yourself

 

[mrjoker5150]

This will likely not work.

See, the problem with this is that if you show disinterest with women then they'll want you even more. They have to be told in order to get the message.

You know, thinking about it, you are right. Karma for you.

The plan I suggested will work, however it will take much longer than just telling her to go F herself.

Do This:

Screw it, be a prick, so many guys are. Tell her you think she is damaged goods, who has been tainted by random dick, including the clergy, and then went lesbian because of numerous failed hetero relationships. And she is a criminal, a felon, who obviously can never be trusted, and and just a complete failure as a person.

Or you could just bang her, and marry her, thus sending your entire world cartwheeling into her black hole of an existence.

You should bang her. That would be full of drama, and could possibly entertain all of us. Which is the main purpose of these posts.

Bsnging Girl = Drama = Posts = Fun for All

 

[plornive]

1. So what? A lot of people on herebreak the law.
2. Same as one..........many people here with issues like that.
3. The key bit is USED to.
4. Uhhhh.........so?
5. Uhhhh.........so?
6. Many women are......
7. Uhhhh..........so?
8. Ok thats a big deal.

I'm with you DutchMan. I have been with girls much more "fucked up" than that that I considered very well adjusted.

I've met lots of girls who had been raped. It happens to a lot of girls. It doesn't necessarily "fuck" them up.

 

[Deleted member 33117]

Hey, what happened with this???

 

[p0ink]

i called her and got her voicemail...her phone must be turned off or something. motherfucker can call me back.