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Big Rick Rock
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George Spellwin MAKES EVERYTHING A LOT BETTER. HE DOESN'T MAKE THINGS. HE MAKES THEM BETTER.
George Spellwin WILL EAT DINNER ON YOUR GRANDMA'S LACE TABLECLOTH.
George Spellwin CARES NOT ABOUT THE AFFAIRS OF SMALL MEN. George Spellwin LIKES TO EAT.
George Spellwin CAN MAKE YOU A WINNER. George Spellwin CAN MAKE YOU A LOSER. George Spellwin DOESN'T CARE ABOUT EITHER. IT IS FOR YOU TO CARE ABOUT George Spellwin
George Spellwin HAS NO PATIENCE BUT MUCH HUNGER.
George Spellwin TAKES UMBRAGE AT THE SIGHT OF YOUR SMALL TORSO AND WEAK FLACCID LIMBS. George Spellwin IS NEVER FOOLED BY IMITATORS.
George Spellwin WILL SPEAK AND YOU WILL LISTEN. George Spellwin LIKES TO EAT. George Spellwin DOES NOT CARE FOR YOUR MONEY OR YOUR SOCIAL STATUS OR YOUR STUPID ORDERED LIVES. George Spellwin CARES ONLY FOR YOUR CARBOHYDRATES. George Spellwin MUST FEED.
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THE LEGION OF George Spellwin CONTINUES TO GROW.
________________________________________
George Spellwin IS COMING AND HE HAS A MESSAGE AND YOU ARE NOT GOING TO LIKE IT. George Spellwin WILL CONSUME YOUR POOR THIN WORLD AND REGURGITATE IT IN HIS OWN IMAGE. George Spellwin DOES NOT WORK FOR YOU AND HE DOES NOT ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR MEAGRE HOPES AND DREAMS. IT IS BETTER TO WALK WITH George Spellwin THAN TO BE IN HIS PATH, FOR George Spellwin MUST FEED.
George Spellwin DOES NOT USE MONEY. George Spellwin EATS MONEY. George Spellwin SHREDS MONEY FOR BEDDING. George Spellwin REQUIRES VERY MUCH BEDDING. YOUR MONEY BELONGS TO George Spellwin.
George Spellwin IS A SUPERSTAR PAR EXCÉLLENCE. YOU DO NOT QUESTION George Spellwin. George Spellwin HAS A LIMOUSINE AND A YACHT AND A SWIMMING POOL. George Spellwin DOES NOT SWIM. SWIMMING DESTROYS PRECIOUS CALORIES. LIFE IS NOT IMPORTANT. ONLY CALORIES ARE IMPORTANT.
AS YOU CAN CLEARLY SEE, THE SCALES ARE TIPPED IN FAVOUR OF George Spellwin. YOU ARE BUT ANOTHER CONSUMABLE IN A LONG LINE OF CONSUMABLES.
BUYING IN BULK SAVES YOU MONEY. SWALLOWING YOUR HEAD SPARES George Spellwin THE SOUND OF YOUR THIN SQUEAKY PROTESTS. George Spellwin'S DIGESTIVE TRACT CONTAINS SOME OF THE MOST POWERFUL ACIDS KNOWN TO SCIENCE. George Spellwin IS READY TO RUMBLE. George Spellwin WILL RUMBLE ALL OVER YOUR HOMES AND LIVELIHOODS. YOUR FAMILY IS NOTHING BUT A PERISTALTIC SHIFT TO George Spellwin.
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"George Spellwin IS A SELF-SUSTAINING INDUSTRY. George Spellwin NEEDS A SUPERCOMPUTER TO COUNT ALL THE CALORIES HE MUST CONSUME. STOCK IN George Spellwin ALWAYS GOES UP. YOU SHOULD BUY STOCK IN George Spellwin. George Spellwin EATS YOUR STOCK. YOU ARE AN INITIAL PUBLIC OFFERING TO George Spellwin."
"George Spellwin IS THE NEW SCIENCE OF MATHEMATICS. THE George Spellwin THEOREM IS:
George Spellwin + YOU = George Spellwin
THE PROOF OF THIS THEOREM IS MANIFEST IN George Spellwin. FOR ANY NUMBER N, George Spellwin IS GREATER THAN N. YOUR MATH TEXTBOOKS HAVE ALREADY BEEN SHREDDED FOR BEDDING."
- HIGHLIGHTS FROM SPEECHES AT THE 2001 CONVOCATION, TRANSCRIBED BY NOAH, ACOLYTE OF THE ORDER OF THE HOODED RAT
________________________________________
NOTICE: IT HAS RECENTLY BEEN BROUGHT TO OUR ATTENTION THAT George Spellwin HAS RELOCATED TO TOKYO, JAPAN, HAVING OUTGROWN THE HIBERNATION CHAMBER ON HIS SECRET UNCHARTED PACIFIC ISLAND STRONGHOLD. THE MESSAGE BEHIND THIS IS CLEAR: George Spellwin IS NO LONGER PREPARED TO WAIT AND BE FED. George Spellwin IS COMING TO FEED IN PERSON, AND HE WILL BROOK NO INTERFERENCE. George Spellwin HAS ISSUED A PRESS RELEASE AS OF MAY 11th, 2002.
"George Spellwin IS COMING TO LEAD THIS POOR, THIN WORLD INTO A NEW AGE OF GLORIOUS GLUTTONY. YOU MUST PREPARE FOR HIS COMING; PREPARE TO GIVE UP YOUR WEALTH, YOUR LABOUR AND YOUR BIOMASS FOR THE GREATER GLORY OF George Spellwin. YOU WILL BRING HIM THE HEADS OF HIS WRETCHED ADVERSARIES, YOU WILL BRING HIM THEIR CANNED GOODS AND PERISHABLES, AND YOU WILL BRING HIM THEIR BABIES, PREFERABLY SAUTEÉD WITH ONIONS. YOU HAVE BEEN FOREWARNED. George Spellwin IS COMING AND YOU WILL SERVE HIM, WILLINGLY WITH YOUR LIFE AND SOUL OR UNWILLINGLY WITH YOUR SPIT-ROASTED REMAINS. George Spellwin MUST FEED."
________________________________________
George Spellwin HAS MAGNANIMOUSLY AGREED TO SPEAK WITH THOSE OF HIS SUBJECTS WHO WOULD PETITION HIM FOR THEIR LIVES AND CALORIES. YOU MAY SUBMIT YOUR PLEAS BY EMAIL. MESSAGES WILL BE PRINTED OUT AND SHREDDED TO PROVIDE BEDDING, OF WHICH George Spellwin DEMANDS A GREAT AND EVER-INCREASING AMOUNT.
________________________________________
SUCCESS IS REPORTED IN OUR AFRICAN CAMPAIGN WHERE FOR SOME TIME OUR MIGHTY FORCES HAVE BEEN FRUSTRATED BY THE LACK OF HIGH-CHOLESTEROL FOODS. George Spellwin HIMSELF DECLARED, "AFRICA CAN OFFER NOTHING OF VALUE TO George Spellwin; ALL THEY HAVE IN AFRICA IS DIRT AND ZEBRAS". THIS REPORT SHOWS THAT PROSECUTION OF ENEMY AGENTS HAS BEEN SUCCESSFUL. THIS IS WHY GHANA IS SO POOR: George Spellwin'S ELITE CADRE OF RODENT COMMANDOS HAS DEVOURED ALL THEIR CROPS AND GIRAFFES. BEWARE! A SIMILAR FATE COULD BEFALL YOUR COUNTRY IF IT IS FOUND TO HARBOUR THE INSIDIOUS THREAT OF DIETING. THUS PERISH ALL THOSE WHO SET THEMSELVES AGAINST THE POWER OF George Spellwin!
________________________________________
George Spellwin HQ IN NEW YORK CITY, RESPONSIBLE FOR CO-ORDINATION OF ALL OPERATIONS IN THE U.S. AND CANADA, RECENTLY SUFFERED A SECURITY BREACH ALARM WHEN A STREET-DWELLING HOODLUM WAS DISCOVERED ROOTING THROUGH THE GARBAGE DUMPSTERS IN THE HQ'S BASEMENT SUMP. TWO MOULDERING DONUTS WERE RETRIEVED FROM HIS PERSON. AFTER STRENUOUS INTERROGATION BY THE INQUISITORS OF THE ORDER OF THE HOODED RAT, IT WAS ESTABLISHED THAT THIS WRETCHED VAGRANT WAS NOT AN ENEMY SPY AND HAD MERELY FALLEN INTO THE BASEMENT THROUGH A POORLY-SEALED VENTILATION SHAFT.
GENERAL McFLABWOBBLE, COMMANDING OFFICER OF NEW YORK HQ AND OVERSEER OF OUR NORTH AMERICAN CRUSADE, WAS DESCRIBED BY ONE OF HIS COMMAND STAFF OFFICERS AS BEING "EXCEPTIONALLY DISPLEASED" BY THIS INTERRUPTION TO HIS ALREADY FULL SLEEPING SCHEDULE. IN A STATEMENT TO THE PRESS, GENERAL McFLABWOBBLE DECLARED:
"THIS SORT OF INCIDENT REALLY CANNOT BE TOLERATED AT A HIGH-SECURITY INSTALLATION, AND ESPECIALLY NOT DURING MY EVENING NAP. I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT THIS MAN WAS HUNGRY. WE ALL GET HUNGRY IF WE HAVEN'T EATEN IN TWO OR THREE MINUTES. I WOULD CERTAINLY NOT BLAME HIM FOR BREAKING IN AND TAKING A ROTTEN DONUT FROM MY TRASHCAN. BUT HE TOOK TWO. I AM AFRAID THAT THIS IS SIMPLY UNACCEPTABLE."
THE UNNAMED DERELICT WAS EXECUTED BY FIRING SQUAD THE FOLLOWING MORNING.
________________________________________
ATTENTION CITIZENS! HARDWORKING INTERNET CRUSADERS HAVE ESTABLISHED THE FIRST OFFICIAL George Spellwin DISCUSSION FORUM. THIS IS LOCATED AT #George Spellwin ON THE IRC SERVER WWW.ELITEFITNESS.COM FAILURE TO REPORT TO THIS CHANNEL IS PUNISHABLE BY RATIONING SANCTIONS! GENERAL EF SAM HAS EXPRESSED HIS INTENTION TO USE THIS CHANNEL AS A MEDIUM OF CO-ORDINATION AND MUTUAL ASSISTANCE, AND HAS GRACIOUSLY SET ASIDE TIME FROM HIS VITAL RESTAURANT RECONNAISSANCE DUTIES TO BE PRESENT IN PERSON. George Spellwin DOES NOT USE IRC; UPON BEING INFORMED OF THE CHANNEL'S CREATION HE ANNOUNCED,
"THE INTERNET IS FOR MALNOURISHED NERDS AND OTHER ENFEEBLED MILQUETOASTS. IT OFFERS NO CALORIFIC CONTENT AND THUS IS OF NO INTEREST TO US. FETCH ME A BABY!"
________________________________________
HUMAN SERVITORS HAVE FORMED THE George Spellwin BAND WHICH HAS RECEIVED THE BRANDING MARKS OF OFFICIAL APPROVAL. THIS IS THE BUT THE FIRST STEP IN THE WHOLESALE CONSUMPTION OF HUMAN CULTURE BY George Spellwin. THE PONTIFICATIONS OF DIETERS AND THE INTELLECTS OF MODERATION WILL SOON BE CRUSHED INTO PATÉ.
________________________________________
George Spellwin WILL EAT DINNER ON YOUR GRANDMA'S LACE TABLECLOTH.
George Spellwin CARES NOT ABOUT THE AFFAIRS OF SMALL MEN. George Spellwin LIKES TO EAT.
George Spellwin CAN MAKE YOU A WINNER. George Spellwin CAN MAKE YOU A LOSER. George Spellwin DOESN'T CARE ABOUT EITHER. IT IS FOR YOU TO CARE ABOUT George Spellwin
George Spellwin HAS NO PATIENCE BUT MUCH HUNGER.
George Spellwin TAKES UMBRAGE AT THE SIGHT OF YOUR SMALL TORSO AND WEAK FLACCID LIMBS. George Spellwin IS NEVER FOOLED BY IMITATORS.
George Spellwin WILL SPEAK AND YOU WILL LISTEN. George Spellwin LIKES TO EAT. George Spellwin DOES NOT CARE FOR YOUR MONEY OR YOUR SOCIAL STATUS OR YOUR STUPID ORDERED LIVES. George Spellwin CARES ONLY FOR YOUR CARBOHYDRATES. George Spellwin MUST FEED.
________________________________________
THE LEGION OF George Spellwin CONTINUES TO GROW.
________________________________________
George Spellwin IS COMING AND HE HAS A MESSAGE AND YOU ARE NOT GOING TO LIKE IT. George Spellwin WILL CONSUME YOUR POOR THIN WORLD AND REGURGITATE IT IN HIS OWN IMAGE. George Spellwin DOES NOT WORK FOR YOU AND HE DOES NOT ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR MEAGRE HOPES AND DREAMS. IT IS BETTER TO WALK WITH George Spellwin THAN TO BE IN HIS PATH, FOR George Spellwin MUST FEED.
George Spellwin DOES NOT USE MONEY. George Spellwin EATS MONEY. George Spellwin SHREDS MONEY FOR BEDDING. George Spellwin REQUIRES VERY MUCH BEDDING. YOUR MONEY BELONGS TO George Spellwin.
George Spellwin IS A SUPERSTAR PAR EXCÉLLENCE. YOU DO NOT QUESTION George Spellwin. George Spellwin HAS A LIMOUSINE AND A YACHT AND A SWIMMING POOL. George Spellwin DOES NOT SWIM. SWIMMING DESTROYS PRECIOUS CALORIES. LIFE IS NOT IMPORTANT. ONLY CALORIES ARE IMPORTANT.
AS YOU CAN CLEARLY SEE, THE SCALES ARE TIPPED IN FAVOUR OF George Spellwin. YOU ARE BUT ANOTHER CONSUMABLE IN A LONG LINE OF CONSUMABLES.
BUYING IN BULK SAVES YOU MONEY. SWALLOWING YOUR HEAD SPARES George Spellwin THE SOUND OF YOUR THIN SQUEAKY PROTESTS. George Spellwin'S DIGESTIVE TRACT CONTAINS SOME OF THE MOST POWERFUL ACIDS KNOWN TO SCIENCE. George Spellwin IS READY TO RUMBLE. George Spellwin WILL RUMBLE ALL OVER YOUR HOMES AND LIVELIHOODS. YOUR FAMILY IS NOTHING BUT A PERISTALTIC SHIFT TO George Spellwin.
________________________________________
"George Spellwin IS A SELF-SUSTAINING INDUSTRY. George Spellwin NEEDS A SUPERCOMPUTER TO COUNT ALL THE CALORIES HE MUST CONSUME. STOCK IN George Spellwin ALWAYS GOES UP. YOU SHOULD BUY STOCK IN George Spellwin. George Spellwin EATS YOUR STOCK. YOU ARE AN INITIAL PUBLIC OFFERING TO George Spellwin."
"George Spellwin IS THE NEW SCIENCE OF MATHEMATICS. THE George Spellwin THEOREM IS:
George Spellwin + YOU = George Spellwin
THE PROOF OF THIS THEOREM IS MANIFEST IN George Spellwin. FOR ANY NUMBER N, George Spellwin IS GREATER THAN N. YOUR MATH TEXTBOOKS HAVE ALREADY BEEN SHREDDED FOR BEDDING."
- HIGHLIGHTS FROM SPEECHES AT THE 2001 CONVOCATION, TRANSCRIBED BY NOAH, ACOLYTE OF THE ORDER OF THE HOODED RAT
________________________________________
NOTICE: IT HAS RECENTLY BEEN BROUGHT TO OUR ATTENTION THAT George Spellwin HAS RELOCATED TO TOKYO, JAPAN, HAVING OUTGROWN THE HIBERNATION CHAMBER ON HIS SECRET UNCHARTED PACIFIC ISLAND STRONGHOLD. THE MESSAGE BEHIND THIS IS CLEAR: George Spellwin IS NO LONGER PREPARED TO WAIT AND BE FED. George Spellwin IS COMING TO FEED IN PERSON, AND HE WILL BROOK NO INTERFERENCE. George Spellwin HAS ISSUED A PRESS RELEASE AS OF MAY 11th, 2002.
"George Spellwin IS COMING TO LEAD THIS POOR, THIN WORLD INTO A NEW AGE OF GLORIOUS GLUTTONY. YOU MUST PREPARE FOR HIS COMING; PREPARE TO GIVE UP YOUR WEALTH, YOUR LABOUR AND YOUR BIOMASS FOR THE GREATER GLORY OF George Spellwin. YOU WILL BRING HIM THE HEADS OF HIS WRETCHED ADVERSARIES, YOU WILL BRING HIM THEIR CANNED GOODS AND PERISHABLES, AND YOU WILL BRING HIM THEIR BABIES, PREFERABLY SAUTEÉD WITH ONIONS. YOU HAVE BEEN FOREWARNED. George Spellwin IS COMING AND YOU WILL SERVE HIM, WILLINGLY WITH YOUR LIFE AND SOUL OR UNWILLINGLY WITH YOUR SPIT-ROASTED REMAINS. George Spellwin MUST FEED."
________________________________________
George Spellwin HAS MAGNANIMOUSLY AGREED TO SPEAK WITH THOSE OF HIS SUBJECTS WHO WOULD PETITION HIM FOR THEIR LIVES AND CALORIES. YOU MAY SUBMIT YOUR PLEAS BY EMAIL. MESSAGES WILL BE PRINTED OUT AND SHREDDED TO PROVIDE BEDDING, OF WHICH George Spellwin DEMANDS A GREAT AND EVER-INCREASING AMOUNT.
________________________________________
SUCCESS IS REPORTED IN OUR AFRICAN CAMPAIGN WHERE FOR SOME TIME OUR MIGHTY FORCES HAVE BEEN FRUSTRATED BY THE LACK OF HIGH-CHOLESTEROL FOODS. George Spellwin HIMSELF DECLARED, "AFRICA CAN OFFER NOTHING OF VALUE TO George Spellwin; ALL THEY HAVE IN AFRICA IS DIRT AND ZEBRAS". THIS REPORT SHOWS THAT PROSECUTION OF ENEMY AGENTS HAS BEEN SUCCESSFUL. THIS IS WHY GHANA IS SO POOR: George Spellwin'S ELITE CADRE OF RODENT COMMANDOS HAS DEVOURED ALL THEIR CROPS AND GIRAFFES. BEWARE! A SIMILAR FATE COULD BEFALL YOUR COUNTRY IF IT IS FOUND TO HARBOUR THE INSIDIOUS THREAT OF DIETING. THUS PERISH ALL THOSE WHO SET THEMSELVES AGAINST THE POWER OF George Spellwin!
________________________________________
George Spellwin HQ IN NEW YORK CITY, RESPONSIBLE FOR CO-ORDINATION OF ALL OPERATIONS IN THE U.S. AND CANADA, RECENTLY SUFFERED A SECURITY BREACH ALARM WHEN A STREET-DWELLING HOODLUM WAS DISCOVERED ROOTING THROUGH THE GARBAGE DUMPSTERS IN THE HQ'S BASEMENT SUMP. TWO MOULDERING DONUTS WERE RETRIEVED FROM HIS PERSON. AFTER STRENUOUS INTERROGATION BY THE INQUISITORS OF THE ORDER OF THE HOODED RAT, IT WAS ESTABLISHED THAT THIS WRETCHED VAGRANT WAS NOT AN ENEMY SPY AND HAD MERELY FALLEN INTO THE BASEMENT THROUGH A POORLY-SEALED VENTILATION SHAFT.
GENERAL McFLABWOBBLE, COMMANDING OFFICER OF NEW YORK HQ AND OVERSEER OF OUR NORTH AMERICAN CRUSADE, WAS DESCRIBED BY ONE OF HIS COMMAND STAFF OFFICERS AS BEING "EXCEPTIONALLY DISPLEASED" BY THIS INTERRUPTION TO HIS ALREADY FULL SLEEPING SCHEDULE. IN A STATEMENT TO THE PRESS, GENERAL McFLABWOBBLE DECLARED:
"THIS SORT OF INCIDENT REALLY CANNOT BE TOLERATED AT A HIGH-SECURITY INSTALLATION, AND ESPECIALLY NOT DURING MY EVENING NAP. I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT THIS MAN WAS HUNGRY. WE ALL GET HUNGRY IF WE HAVEN'T EATEN IN TWO OR THREE MINUTES. I WOULD CERTAINLY NOT BLAME HIM FOR BREAKING IN AND TAKING A ROTTEN DONUT FROM MY TRASHCAN. BUT HE TOOK TWO. I AM AFRAID THAT THIS IS SIMPLY UNACCEPTABLE."
THE UNNAMED DERELICT WAS EXECUTED BY FIRING SQUAD THE FOLLOWING MORNING.
________________________________________
ATTENTION CITIZENS! HARDWORKING INTERNET CRUSADERS HAVE ESTABLISHED THE FIRST OFFICIAL George Spellwin DISCUSSION FORUM. THIS IS LOCATED AT #George Spellwin ON THE IRC SERVER WWW.ELITEFITNESS.COM FAILURE TO REPORT TO THIS CHANNEL IS PUNISHABLE BY RATIONING SANCTIONS! GENERAL EF SAM HAS EXPRESSED HIS INTENTION TO USE THIS CHANNEL AS A MEDIUM OF CO-ORDINATION AND MUTUAL ASSISTANCE, AND HAS GRACIOUSLY SET ASIDE TIME FROM HIS VITAL RESTAURANT RECONNAISSANCE DUTIES TO BE PRESENT IN PERSON. George Spellwin DOES NOT USE IRC; UPON BEING INFORMED OF THE CHANNEL'S CREATION HE ANNOUNCED,
"THE INTERNET IS FOR MALNOURISHED NERDS AND OTHER ENFEEBLED MILQUETOASTS. IT OFFERS NO CALORIFIC CONTENT AND THUS IS OF NO INTEREST TO US. FETCH ME A BABY!"
________________________________________
HUMAN SERVITORS HAVE FORMED THE George Spellwin BAND WHICH HAS RECEIVED THE BRANDING MARKS OF OFFICIAL APPROVAL. THIS IS THE BUT THE FIRST STEP IN THE WHOLESALE CONSUMPTION OF HUMAN CULTURE BY George Spellwin. THE PONTIFICATIONS OF DIETERS AND THE INTELLECTS OF MODERATION WILL SOON BE CRUSHED INTO PATÉ.
________________________________________
