Funny Questions to get asked

[thezan]

Big guys tend to get picked out for scraps too, drunnkass's see these guys with big arms, get jealous and think their tougher then them. I agree not all big guys are tough and I have seen a fair amount get knocked the f**k out; however, 8 out of 10 the weiner tends to be the one in the ambulance

 

[BIG DADDY DIESEL]

I was in the grocery store about 3 months ago shopping for my week’s worth of chicken, fish, and veggies. I stopped off at the magazine section of the store. One of the hottest looking girls that I have ever seen comes and stands beside me, but of course this girl was way too young for me. I’m 30 and she was probably 20 or so. Out of know where she picked up a fitness magazine and said “is this what you look like with your shirt off. Now, I am not a big guy 5’9” 198, around 7% bf, but with my bf being so low at the time I looked good…hahah.. Anyway, I said no not that guy, but I look like him. She said; let me see your six pack. I just started laughing, and about that time her man or what I presume to be her man walked up and grabbed the shit out of her and said “what the hell are you doing” This guy was about my height had gold chains on with really baggy clothes (pants where about to fall off) and a NY hat that was cocked sideways. He sounded like he had just stepped out of the hood. He was a white guy trying to be black. I just kind of stood there for a second to see what was going to happen next “she said, I was just looking at the magazines. He said “Bullshit, bitch you were talking to that roid head” I said, man you need to calm down, she was just asking me if I saw a certain magazine. About that time he rushes up to me chest to chest and said I don’t care how many steroids you’re taking I will clean these isle with your ass. Now, if you could have heard the way this sounded when he said it… I just started laughing, meanwhile his woman is pulling on his saying “lets go, lets go” I said, my boy, you are confused.. He said F*** you. I said, first you and I both know you are white and second there isn’t anyway you can clean these isles with my ass. Then he said, I aren’t worth his time and walked away. Well, after I paid and started on my way out there was about 5 people that looked just like him staring and pointing at me. I get in my car and they start following me, in these Hondas that are slammed to the ground and other slammed and all painted up cars with large mufflers. You know the kind that makes the driver think he’s driving 100mph everywhere he goes. No, offense, but if you have one of these cars, and you are over 20 years it’s time to grow up. Anyway, I still think this is just funny, but then they are getting real close to the back of my car at red lights and pulling up beside me telling me to roll down my window. Being 30, I like to think I have a great amount of patience with people. But, my patience has run out and I didn’t want them following me to my house. So I pull over in a bank parking lot and jump out of the car. The one guy that was picking on me (hahahah) in the store jumps out and takes his shirt off and starts yelling to his buddy, to hold his chains, that he was about to f*** me up. Now, at this point I should have been the bigger man, and have just gotten into my car and left. But I couldn’t help myself. So I decide that I will take my shirt off and get ready to partake in whatever this guy wants to try and do.. Well, the best complement I have had since I started working out happened at that very moment. And soon as my shirt came of, all his buddy that were standing around, went “Damn” The funny part is they said it all at the same time. Then, his buddy’s said, to their friend “he going to kick your ass” At that point I said to they guy look, I understand that you need to show your woman that you are tuff, but I am not the guy you want to do that with. He said, you’re a pussy, and turn to his buddies and said “ lets go get our drink on” Well, as they were leaving one of his buddies pulls his car of next to me and says, I think you go to my gym, I said you mean, my gym. I laughed, and he then asked if we could me up sometime and she if I could help him with his routines. I said, talk to me at the gym and he left.

So anyway, I know I ran the story long and got of topic, but I just had to tell it. I was floored that after all that, his buddy asked me that at the end Again, I don’t recommend pulling over or fighting in anyway. But enough was enough.

Good Story BRO K to ya !

 

[dugie65]

What I hate is when people still havn't developed a workout routine and/or diet, so when you start to gain weight because of going to the gym and eating sensibly they assume you're on steroids. So many comments and assumptions get thrown around it's crazy. Can't people just realize that you can get bigger naturally and not have to assume that any weight you put on is due to steroids?? It's always the lazy asses that assume this.

 

[immortalis]

Big guys tend to get picked out for scraps too, drunnkass's see these guys with big arms, get jealous and think their tougher then them. I agree not all big guys are tough and I have seen a fair amount get knocked the f**k out; however, 8 out of 10 the weiner tends to be the one in the ambulance

Man, I had one like this just a couple of weeks ago. This fucker had a "Napoleon Complex"... little fucker wanted to find the biggest guy he could and prove that he was better than him. Well this night, the "big guy" happened to be me.

It was a couple weeks ago on a Saturday. 2 of my buddies and I had gone to the horse races...and to be honest, we were makin a lil vacation outta the whole deal. It was a splurge weekend for me. We were smokin, drinkin, popped a couple Xans and a hydrocodone and I actually ate a couple Polish Sausages... mmmmm and washed them down with beer all afternoon.

It was a good day!

We got back home that evening and wanted to go out to get somethin decent to eat, so we hitup Lonestar Steakhouse right down the road from where I live.

We walked in, and the only smoking table available (my buddy smokes cigs bleh) was in the VERY VERY back right corner, and was actually behind the corner of the bar, so it was isolated from the entire restaurant. I sat down at the far seat with my back to the wall so I could see ... well, everything, but everything was only the isle walkin down to the bathrooms cause we were REALLY behind the bar.

Well apparently this fucker saw me walk in... and I had on a somewhat tight-white polo shirt on that day... and apparently he started talkin shit when I walked by. I didnt see, or hear anything and neither did either of my friends.

We posted up at our table, ordered our drinks and were just chilling. About that time, im checkin out the menu (steak and a sweet potatoe... mmm) and this girl walks up to me and is like "Excuse me, can I talk to you for a sec?"

I replied sure, whats up? Shes like "Do you see that guy over there in the red shirt?" uhh, no bitch im BEHIND the bar, i cant see a fuckin thing "No, sweety, i cant really see much of anything where I'm sitting"

She replied "well, i think he needs an attitude adjustment, because hes been over there runnin his mouth and he says youre not shit and he wants to prove it right here infront of everyone by arm wrestling you right here, right now"


At this point.. to be honest... my buddies and I are in shock. We really didnt know how to react. We were high as hell! Then one of my buddies chimed in, "I got $100 says my boy kicks your mans ass, period"

I was like, yeah if he wants to put some money where his fuckin mouth is, tell him to bring his ass back here... if not, just leave me alone and let me enjoy my dinner.

Well, we didnt hear anything after that. I enjoyed my entire dinner, and a couple more beer. And were finished up with dinner and paying...

Its at this point I get really really fuckin pissed. Im signing my debit card receipt and I look up and this fuckstick is pulling the chair out accross from me, eyein me up and down and says "Mind if I sit down?"

Now how the fuck are you gonna disturb me earlier... wait till ive ate my entire dinner and RIGHT when im about to leave come over here fuckin with me when im full as hell... i was boilin over inside to say the least. So I replied "Hell no I dont mind, infact... sit your ass down right now"

Hes like, "Well, I dont have $100, but I got $20..."

"Oh so you got 20 bucks youre ready to lose then? Good, lemme see it."

He laid it down on the table.

My other buddy is sittin there wide-eyed cause he has no idea wtf is goin on... he cant believe whats playin out infront of him. Hes like, where you 2 wanna do this?...

At that point I Was clearin the table and I said, Right here, right fuckin now. I was really really irritated. I told the dude, come here and sit right here. I put him right next to me and I was like, we wont need this side (referring to the side of the table where he would put me down if he actually pinned me)

He put his arm up and I grabbed his hand... he had a pretty firm grip so I thought this cat might be one of those rodeo hicks or whatever and might actually bring somethin. He made me lock hands with our opposite hands, and he already had my top hand cocked back and he wouldnt let me straighten it up... but whatever.

Im lookin at him and he asks "you ready?" ... and I swear to god before I even blink an eye hes like "GO!" and he starts goin as hard as he can.

I just locked down. Hes turnin red... grittin his teeth... and he aint movin me a millimeter.

I blew up. I leaned in and started talkin so much shit. "You send your bitch over here, call me out... come at me with 20 bucks, and this is all you got?... THIS IS ALL YOU GOT?... YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKER, IM GONNA BREAK YOUR FUCKIN ARM, BITCH!"

At that point, i swear to god i shit you not... I brought the house. I threw that dude smooth-ass over the table, and he did a faceplant on the side of the bar. Dishes, sauces, drinks... everything went flyin!

I would have paid money to have had that shit on tape. I picked up his 20 bucks from the floor and said "Now get your bitchass the fuck outta my face before I just get mad enough to beat the livin fuck outta you right here infront of god and everyone"

About that time, the manager and waiters and shit sprinted back there. It looked like there had been a bar fight back in that corner cause shit was EVERYWHERE! I thought we were about to get thrown out or at least in some kinda trouble.... but no. They were on my nuts! "sir, were so sorry for the disturbance sir...we hope it didnt ruin your dinner" etc etc

I was like, its all good ya'll dont worry about it. Theres always some fucker out there with a chip on his shoulder.

Theres some more funny parts to the story, but I dont have time to elaborate... but our waiter made me laugh my fuckin ass off when I was leavin.

It was good shit. We dipped out the side/back door right there by our table when it was all said and done

When I got home, both my buddies called me and was like "Man... did that shit really happen?.... LOL!"


Good stuff.

 

[immortalis]

god damn that was a long post... I think I got a good pump in my forearms from all that typin

 

[mm107]

When i dont feel like explaining how big i am getting or my diet/etc. It usually goes like this:

Person: Damn bro your getting huge are you on the sauce?
Me: No why? Oh, no my wifebeater just shrunk.

For a couple seconds they really dont know if your telling the truth.(a very tight wifebeater looks like u got some big muscles, if you got some to begin with lol)

Then they realize your fucking with them and they ask again.

Then i usually hit em with the i eat 4000 cals/day with 40%p/30%f/30%c. And they are so fucking confused they usually leave me alone and go repeat that they are trying to eat 4k cals daily with the same macros =] Gotta love the parrots.

 

[NickyE3]

What I hate is when people still havn't developed a workout routine and/or diet, so when you start to gain weight because of going to the gym and eating sensibly they assume you're on steroids. So many comments and assumptions get thrown around it's crazy. Can't people just realize that you can get bigger naturally and not have to assume that any weight you put on is due to steroids?? It's always the lazy asses that assume this.

Most of the kids from my home town think Im on roids. When I have never taken them. I am not even that big, but then again it is a small town.

 

[B i C e P HeAD]

I got a kick out of this. Um.. ok

The moral of the story is really that size and mass prevents more fights than it starts and I learned this early on. Growing up in a gang in Chicago I was not very big and fought all the time. So when I did get big I was very happy to learn that once you reach a certain level you don't have to fight anymore.

i agree 100% on this one

 

[1392477]

people always come up to me in the gym and ask me for workout tips and what I would suggest. I'm not a very talkative person when I'm working out but the trainers in my gym are so pathetic that middle aged dudes would rather ask me.

One day I was doing standing overhead presses with 185 and this guys asks me if I am one of those guys on ESPN pulling busses and lifting boulders. I had to laugh as I am nowhere near those guys in strength or size. I'm 6'3" and run 240 - 250 but I had to explain to him that those guys are like 350 - 400 pounds and squat 600 - 800 pounds. I thanked him for the complement but it just shows you how some people think.

 

[Tweakle]

Anytime I hang out with regular sized people (especially when I was drol bloated up in the 260's) there's always one little guy who has to point out someone who's ''bigger than you''.

Never mind that the big fella is always either 6'6" or 400lbs of jiggling beer-filled manboobies. He's still bigger! You! Lose!