My motivation was shot during, I was getting my master's degree and was interning at mental health clinics. I would call in sick, not focus on the therapy, etc. As far as long term sides, my memory really is shot. I notice that now becasue I am back in school in a much harder program, but I don't really have a baseline to compare it to. I could never go out now like I used to then, my school schedule would not allow it. I also suffer from panic attacks every now and then and sleep disorder. Who knows if the it's related to my past history and who cares. I just deal with it. I still will party when time allows, vacations, holidays, etc. It just isn't that much of a priority anymore. I went to sound factory a couple of weeks ago for Jonathon Peters b-day and wound up leaving by myself after an hour. I just wasn't into it. It's like 8:30 a.m. on Sunday morning and I just walked out the club. I'm driving home thinking, "what the fuck am I doing"