farting and girlfriends

[stuffperson]

do you all rip ass around your chicks? I dont mainly because of the turn off factor, nothing gets a babe in the mood like hot noxious gas propelling itself from your blast valve.

I tried to stay with my girl last night, but had gas so bad I went home, couldn't sleep, and stayed up curled over w/ abdominal pains. After about an hour of this being home, I finally farted, at least 30 times within an hour and a half, and continued to fart all day today.


As a supplementary question, can anyone suggest why everytime i am with my girlfriend I could hook a hose from my ass to a fleet of zepellins and fully inflate one every half hour? It is rather embarassing and uncooth.

 

[Buddy_Christ]

just rip ass when you're in bed with her, right before you're about to get her off, and make sure it's a real nasty one too. if you can get her off immediately afterwards, consider yourself a real man.

 

[stuffperson]

We don't have sex, we are born again virgins.

 

[Nathan]

I had to leave some friends' house last night after bouncing because I had abdominal pains after holding in my farts all night. I was like, "I gotta go."

 

[stuffperson]

I was like "I gotta go."

phenomenal story telling, can you supply more details though?

 

[ZKaudio]

lol how many u think you've held in before max?

 

[rnch]

it's the true test of a close relationship when you can let loose so hard and loud that the covers vibrate and she is still next to you in bed the next morning.

 

[stuffperson]

I can't give you a number ZKaudio, but in times of severe production, I would say I've held it for 4-6 hours on occasion (Long road trips or something probably) usually I pee every 30 mins or so anyways and I just sarin the bathroom while i'm there.

 

[Lumberg]

do you all rip ass around your chicks? I dont mainly because of the turn off factor, nothing gets a babe in the mood like hot noxious gas propelling itself from your blast valve.

I tried to stay with my girl last night, but had gas so bad I went home, couldn't sleep, and stayed up curled over w/ abdominal pains. After about an hour of this being home, I finally farted, at least 30 times within an hour and a half, and continued to fart all day today.


As a supplementary question, can anyone suggest why everytime i am with my girlfriend I could hook a hose from my ass to a fleet of zepellins and fully inflate one every half hour? It is rather embarassing and uncooth.

that used to happen to me, especially when we would start to get hot n heavy.

I think nervousness and changes in blood flow "down there" contributed.

 

[RottenWillow]

What is the ordeal with guys and that stuff. You do so much and its always stinky.

 

[tuc biscuit]

What is the ordeal with guys and that stuff. You do so much and its always stinky.

women are far worse in my experience, whatever you hold in during the day comes out at night when you are asleep

 

[The_Ghost]

I never and will never fart in front of GF and if she does, she gets the door!

 

[stuffperson]

big dawg, haha i keep a similar mindset, though anytime we have accidentally spliced air around each other, its not a big deal at all.

Similar to what Anya said, its the fear of the canvas-tearing, mind numbingly gross ones that encourages me to keep them to myself when around the gf.

 

[Nathan]

phenomenal story telling, can you supply more details though?

I suppose I could do that if you care that much. I went to an apartment ownded by two hot blonde girls with a guy I bounce with. One of the girls works with bigAragorn, who was also there albeit sleeping the whole time. I was supposed to get a ride with that girl I mentioned on another thread, the one I thought I stopped seeing like 2 months ago. However, one of the blonde apartment-owners told her ride to take off so she waited for me, which screwed me over I suppose. We went to partake in the smoking of illegal narcotics which weren't there at all, it ended up. So, we left. The whole thing sucked if you ask me since I could have gone home with the other girl, but instead I chose to do drugs which I didn't end up doing. What's wrong with people? Why can't they either give me what I want, whether it be sex or drugs, or just leave me the hell alone? I'm not self-centered at all either if that's what you were thinking. In conclusion it might have been more entertaining had I not had to fart like a mother fucker throughout the whole ordeal.

 

[boscoe wilson]

women are far worse in my experience, whatever you hold in during the day comes out at night when you are asleep

I've heard other guys say this too. My husband and I still don't do that in front of each other. We both agree its just disgusting.