sorry to hear that, mm, it doesnt sound like youre in the best frame of mind. someone close to me is in a similar way, and i have often said to them that part of their "looking after" the family includes the responsibility to look after themselves - because they are integral to the family, and their own health -mental or otherwise - impacts upon everybody. so, if i were you, i would go and have fun, secure in the knowledge that any money spent (or unearned) in doing so will be put back into the family 100x over by a healthier, happier you.
as if you would still work if you won a hundred mill!! id slap you if i were there!! the only way i would ever work is to go to greece, buy a beach somewhere probably in rhodes, then build and run THE maddest bar in the place

and pick up all the hot chicks