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Ex Update - Softball tournament

Lestat

Lestat

MVP
EF VIP
So I posted a thread earlier about not wanting to go to my company softball tournament because my ex was playing in it. Different team, but still we WOULD see each other and maybe even play each other.

http://www.elitefitness.com/forum/showthread.php?t=342449

I ended up going, staying the entire time, played 4 games, made it to the playoffs etc.

Her team's first game was at 9am, mine was at 10am so when I get there she is playing, I don't see her. I go and start my game at 10am and end up seeing her in the stands midway though. At one point she is a little teary eyed and wiping the tears from her face and leaves. I can tell its an emotional thing for her seeing me.

So my game is winding down and she is there right next to my dugout waiting for us to leave because her team is playing on that field next. I get my shit and go up to her because she is in the stands where I need to go..

me: "hi"
her: "hi how are you"
me: "good, do I get a hug"
her: "yay!" gives me a big hug
me: "good luck today"


That was the extent of our interaction. She did see me many more times playing and I saw her a lot at and one point when she was up let bat cheered for her. But we had no real dialog or conversation.

It was good seeing her, and I was definitely keepig my poker face on. My thoughts were almost always on her and how much I miss her and all that shit.. but oh well. fuck it. Funny thing is.. one of her ex boyfriends (the guy she dated before me) was there on her team.. I said what's up to him. She wasn't there with any guy though.. some chick I don't know though and her were inseperable.. I'm guessing its her new roommate. She just moved out of her parents house within the last few months.

So from her perspective I was civil and friendly and perfectly fine... just the way it should be right?
 
From Zero said:
Shouldn't have asked for a hug.
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Its how I would treat any other female friend. Especially someone with whom I had shared so much with. Remember, we were friends before we ever dated as well.
 
Lestat said:
Its how I would treat any other female friend. Especially someone with whom I had shared so much with. Remember, we were friends before we ever dated as well.
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You need to stop being friends for a while, IMO.
 
You should have at least asked for a reach-around.

Truthfully though, it sounds pretty well played to me. I don't see what is wrong with it.
 
it wasn't like I was asking, had she been standing up already I would have just given her one... but since she was sitting down I said "do I get a hug?" Geezus it wasn't like I was begging for some contact.
 
You did put the ball in her court by asking for a hug; however, she threw it right back with a response of "Yay!"

You did good though, don't let someone's presence keep you from having an otherwise good time.
 
I asked her for the hug because I didn't want to play any games.. I didn't want to treat he differently then anyone else.. I didn't want to intentionally give her the cold shoulder... and no, she didn't keep me from doing anything today which is a very good thing. Unfortunately she's still in my head big time, but I'm working on getting her out as well....
 
I think you did good Lestat. The hug was fine, the good thing is you didn't stick around and ask how things are going, or shoot the shit in any way. Just a hello and a quick hug and on your way, good job.
 
Forge said:
I think you did good Lestat. The hug was fine, the good thing is you didn't stick around and ask how things are going, or shoot the shit in any way. Just a hello and a quick hug and on your way, good job.
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Exactly.

Also, the new roomate thing is suspicious. She wanted to start a new single life when she moved out and "explore" other people and stuff. Maybe that was selfish of her. The grass is greener for her when on her own... Just a thought.
 
NO hug...

She should be treated differently.... she stomped on you...

Not a huge deal... just wouldn't do it. If you see that you *CAN* and *SHOULD* see her and treat her differently then other girls - then you are okay.
 
gonelifting said:
Exactly.

Also, the new roomate thing is suspicious. She wanted to start a new single life when she moved out and "explore" other people and stuff. Maybe that was selfish of her. The grass is greener for her when on her own... Just a thought.
Click to expand...

LOL! Lestat's ex turned lesbian!
 
Updated.

Last night I had one of the worst fucking dreams ever. This is why I can't have contact with this chick.

I dreamt that we were doing something together... back together... hanging out.. I don't remember exactly what we were doing but it was just like old times...

then I wake up and I'm fucking down big time. Such BS. 4+ months later.. I thought I was stronger.
 
Lestat said:
Updated.

Last night I had one of the worst fucking dreams ever. This is why I can't have contact with this chick.

I dreamt that we were doing something together... back together... hanging out.. I don't remember exactly what we were doing but it was just like old times...

then I wake up and I'm fucking down big time. Such BS. 4+ months later.. I thought I was stronger.
Click to expand...
B don't be so hard on your self this shit takes time. You are doing great. Just keep moving forward. These dreams and passing thoughts will fade trust me.
 
Lestat said:
Updated.

Last night I had one of the worst fucking dreams ever. This is why I can't have contact with this chick.

I dreamt that we were doing something together... back together... hanging out.. I don't remember exactly what we were doing but it was just like old times...

then I wake up and I'm fucking down big time. Such BS. 4+ months later.. I thought I was stronger.
Click to expand...
That's why I said that it would be good for a few years to pass.

I still sometimes think about the first girl that I ever truely loved and wonder what she's doing from time to time. We were friends for a good ten years after our falling out, but one day she said that it was hard for her because now I had kids and a family. That was about three years ago and I haven't heard from her since.

Don't get me wrong. I love my wife and my family. But sometimes, there's always the wonder about the what ifs and the roads not chosen and how life would of played out.
 
sounds like youre fine. so you had an anxiety dream, dont worry about it.

just to be safe, bury yourself in a whole pile of boobs

good to see you arent bitter. many in your position would be

cheers
 
GoldenDelicious said:
sounds like youre fine. so you had an anxiety dream, dont worry about it.

just to be safe, bury yourself in a whole pile of boobs

good to see you arent bitter. many in your position would be

cheers
Click to expand...
I think I'm a little bitter on the inside, maybe a lot, not sure. Its hard to really explain what I feel.. anxiety.. yes... sadness... yes.. anger... yes.. confusion.. yes.. bitterness... probably..

i dunno, it just sucks that is what I do know.
 
Bro - good job with the softball games... Sounds like the exact right way to handle yourself. I doubt many of the dudes here could have handled themselves so well if in the same situation. Personally I would not have given her a hug, but that is cause I am not a huggy guy, I don't think you are any worse off for it.

You are on the right track bro, doing well... you would have been a crying blubbery mess with the THOUGHT of seeing her not too long ago... The dreams and periodic thoughts of her will fade with time.

You are doing good bro. Keep up the good work.
 
Becoming said:
Personally I would not have given her a hug, but that is cause I am not a huggy guy, I don't think you are any worse off for it.
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I would definately have given her a hug. Any chance to feel breasts pushed against my chest is a no brainer. :p
 
I would have gotten down on one knee and proposed to her.
 
thanks guys. I still feel like a little bitch for letting these feelings get to me so much... I'm 27 not 17... I should know how to handle this.
 
Lestat said:
thanks guys. I still feel like a little bitch for letting these feelings get to me so much... I'm 27 not 17... I should know how to handle this.
Click to expand...

Trust me I know this all to well. Even while doing the stupid stuff I did I knew what I SHOULD be doing. It's just hard sometimes when emotions are stirred up.
 
Oh well.. i still hope in the back of my mind that she does her dating thing and realizes that finding someone who you really connect with is tough shit... she's probably having fun living the single life.. lots of new people and experiences.. I don't blame her, I've been there, I craved that newness, that freedom at one point too. I unfortunately just miss the relationship we had.
 
Lestat said:
Oh well.. i still hope in the back of my mind that she does her dating thing and realizes that finding someone who you really connect with is tough shit... she's probably having fun living the single life.. lots of new people and experiences.. I don't blame her, I've been there, I craved that newness, that freedom at one point too. I unfortunately just miss the relationship we had.
Click to expand...

You are thinking she's coming back some day, aren't you?

I thought this too, but then realized it'll never happen.
 
its been 4 months now since the breakup and the urge to call, email, IM her is as strong as ever.. WTF.. this is suppsoed to get easier.
 
Lestat said:
its been 4 months now since the breakup and the urge to call, email, IM her is as strong as ever.. WTF.. this is suppsoed to get easier.
Click to expand...


No offence, but if you keep seeing your ex around your city, the only thing that time is going to do, is make things harder.

You should just try to avoid her at all costs. Everything happens for a reason. You met her for a reason and she played a role in your life for a reason......but you also broke up for a reason. If you are still having feelings for her, then your best bet is to either tell her.....or move on, because if you keep thinking about it, it's just gonna make you go crazy.

Think of how hard it is to workout in a straight jacket ;)
 
deejay10 said:
If you are still having feelings for her, then your best bet is to either tell her.....
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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't do that. Trust me. It'll only make him feel worse.

deejay10 said:
.....or move on,
Click to expand...

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Unfortunately that's the only thing left to do. If she wants back together, it has to come from her end.


You don't know how bad I want to chat with my ex, especially after she said she still wanted to hang out and talk (as friends basically) but everytime I would talk to her it would just stir up emotions and feelings. Feelings I know I can't share with her because I'm not what she wants. So I resist the urge in order to not torture myself.
 
I'm definitely not going to tell her my feelings.. as much as I would like to... I think everyone here has told me the same thing.. DON'T do it...

I'm just trying to wait this out... wait for the feelings to pass.
 
So does the saying "better to have loved and lost..." hold true, or is it mostly bullshit?
 
Last edited:
Lestat said:
I'm just trying to wait this out... wait for the feelings to pass.
Click to expand...



or Wait till your feelings CHANGE. That might be better. She ultimatley did NOT make you happy. That`s why you`re where you are. So you should in fact NOT feel the way you do about her.

Not telling you how to feel but I`m looking at it in a realistic manner. If you can make sense of what I`m saying... not sure.

Bottom line and to oversimplify, she made you unhappy so don`t love her.
 
gonelifting said:
or Wait till your feelings CHANGE. That might be better. She ultimatley did NOT make you happy. That`s why you`re where you are. So you should in fact NOT feel the way you do about her.

Not telling you how to feel but I`m looking at it in a realistic manner. If you can make sense of what I`m saying... not sure.

Bottom line and to oversimplify, she made you unhappy so don`t love her.
Click to expand...

Damn I'm not even high right now and I still don't know what you are saying.

Are you referring to her 'breaking up' thus not making him happy because she did that?
 
Forget that last question GL.

The real question is: How do I get my IM friend to take me back? More begging?
 
What GL is saying makes sense.

Basically he's saying why would you love someone who doesn't love you? I'm love just a small piece of what this person is, but if I look at the complete package, then yes of course there is no reason to really care because she treated my like shit.

That's the fucked up thing, its tough to NOT idealize the past, its tough to look at anything but the positives...
 
Lestat said:
What GL is saying makes sense.

Basically he's saying why would you love someone who doesn't love you? I'm love just a small piece of what this person is, but if I look at the complete package, then yes of course there is no reason to really care because she treated my like shit.

That's the fucked up thing, its tough to NOT idealize the past, its tough to look at anything but the positives...
Click to expand...


Yes. We tend to remember the good times in everything of our past.

Another Extreme example... Why should I not love Pamela Anderson? lol She`s perfect for me, right? NO she`s not, because she does`nt love me and would`nt do ANYTHING for me to make me happy.

but she`s perfect....for me.... NO she`s not. That`s why I should`nt love her.
 
gonelifting said:
Yes. We tend to remember the good times in everything of our past.

Another Extreme example... Why should I not love Pamela Anderson? lol She`s perfect for me, right? NO she`s not, because she does`nt love me and would`nt do ANYTHING for me to make me happy.

but she`s perfect....for me.... NO she`s not. That`s why I should`nt love her.
Click to expand...


GL

Since you don't want her could you give me her number?
 
JerseyArt said:
GL

Since you don't want her could you give me her number?
Click to expand...


Soooooo, what you`re saying is, you want my leftovers. ahaaaaa.

You going from Penthouse to Playmates? Damn bro.
 
gonelifting said:
Yes. We tend to remember the good times in everything of our past.

Another Extreme example... Why should I not love Pamela Anderson? lol She`s perfect for me, right? NO she`s not, because she does`nt love me and would`nt do ANYTHING for me to make me happy.

but she`s perfect....for me.... NO she`s not. That`s why I should`nt love her.
Click to expand...

so THIS is what yesterday's thread was about....
 
gonelifting said:
Soooooo, what you`re saying is, you want my leftovers. ahaaaaa.

You going from Penthouse to Playmates? Damn bro.
Click to expand...


Dude, from the looks of your avatar, I doubt you ever have any leftovers.

But we digress.

To answer your question, I'm just good like that
 
JerseyArt said:
Dude, from the looks of your avatar, I doubt you ever have any leftovers.

But we digress.

To answer your question, I'm just good like that
Click to expand...


Listen Gai` I hate to hijack Lestat`s thread but... When I get done with a woman, there is NOTHING left to be leftover.

Dude, if you were an ant, I would fucking step on you.
 
gonelifting said:
Listen Gai` I hate to hijack Lestat`s thread but... When I get done with a woman, there is NOTHING left to be leftover.

Dude, if you were an ant, I would fucking step on you.
Click to expand...


LOL

Is that a threat?

No seriously, is it?
 
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