Please Scroll Down to See Forums Below 
Puc
Banned
Big Brother!
Day 1 - Fonz admits straight away that he doesn't like the look of bikinimom. He says she looks like a lesbian. As it turns out, starfish is in fact the only lesbian in the house, although Puc later admits that he is unsure of his true sexuality.
2 - The house sit down for a discussion of how to organise simple chores. 2Thick creates tension by stating that the kitchen is where the women belong. Pink hits him with a can opener.
3 - The housemates are set their first task by Big Brother - they must make a model of Sears Tower out of tuna. After much persuasion by 2Thick, they gamble 50% of next week's food budget on completing the task.
4 - Training for the Sears Tower task is well under way. However havoc ensues when Puc, who is rapidly developing a reputation as the laziest fat bastard in the house, eats half the tuna. Pink is furious.
5 - Today is the day when the Sears Tower task must be completed. Things are going well until shortly before the end when Puc farts and blows Sears Tower over. Big Brother announces that the task has been a failure. bikinimom cries.
6 - 2Thick gets pecked on the arm by one of the Big Brother chickens. Not a very exciting day.
7 - Big Brother is worried that things are getting dull, so he summons the housemates to have a mass debate about sex. After far too many cans of cider, bikinimom admits that she likes to be spanked on the arse with a can opener. Fonz says he never wears condoms because they make his sack sore and 2Thick agrees. starfish goes into a rant about how none of the other housemates have ever enjoyed a true orgasm because they're all boring heterosexual bastards. Puc sits in the corner, quietly eyeing up 2Thick.
8 - Today is the first day that the housemates must nominate someone to leave. Fonz goes round everyone one by one, telling them he really likes them because they're the only one in the house that he can really relate to. Pink and bikinimom are voted as the two candidates to leave. Nobody votes for Fonz.
9 - Pink and bikinimom are told of their nominations and burst into tears, before hugging everyone and telling them they love them. starfish sings them a song - The Game of Love - to make them feel better.
10 - The public vote bikinimom out of the house. She pretends not to be bothered but then breaks down and sobs that she should never have admitted about enjoying being spanked. bikinimom leaves.
11 - Relationships are strained in the house as the housemates come to terms with bikinimom's departure. The food budget is low due to the failure of last week's failed task. starfish has to make do without the cucumber she requested. Pink is visibly depressed and is comforted by 2Thick, who tries to touch her on her taint skin.
12 - The Big Brother pyschologist replays the footage of 2Thick touching Pink's taint skin over and over again. This is because it shows an interesting psychological incident, of course, not because it will increase the viewing figures. Big Brother sets the housemates the task of jogging on a running machine for twice the circumferance of the globe. They gamble 40% of the food budget on completing it.
13 - The running machine task is on target, despite the fact that Puc refuses to run because his sack hurts a bit.
14 - Much jubilation in the house as the running machine task is completed. Puc finally manages to run the last 10 metres of the task and claims that without him they'd never have done it. Pink calls Puc a lazy sack.
15 - Once again it is the day when nominations are due. Fonz tells everyone individually that he thinks Pink is a whore. He also points out that anyone who wants to stay at his flat when the show is finished is welcome to come and visit. Pink and 2Thick are nominated by the housemates to leave. Nobody votes for Fonz.
16 - The nominations are announced. Pink can't believe she's been voted out two weeks in a row. 2Thick is equally stunned and turns to Pink for comfort. Puc is distraught and confesses to starfish that he thinks he is in love with 2Thick. starfish says she doesn't fancy any of the housemates because they're all just too heterosexual and she's a lesbian, you know
17 - The public vote 2Thick out of the house. Pink says she is gutted and even gives 2Thick a clipping of hair from her taint skin to prove how much she cares. Puc is also devastated but keeps his hair to himself. 2Thick leaves.
18 - The Big Brother psychologist shows repeated clips of Pink clipping the hair from her taint skin. Apparently this is an important psychological incident. The public obviously agree as viewing figures soar.
19 - Big Brother sets the housemates the task of burping the National Anthem of the Congo in 60 seconds. They gamble 50% of the food budget on completing it.
20 - Nobody has a clue what the National Anthem of the Congo sounds like but Puc says it's a bit like Dancing Queen. The housemates choose Fonz as the one who must complete the task.
21 - Fonz successfully burps not only the National Anthem of the Congo but also God Save The Queen, The Game of Love and the theme tune to Law & Order. He is proclaimed as a hero, despite the fact that a vote in a tabloid newspaper shows that 98% of the public want to kill him.
22 - Nominations are due and Fonz tells everyone that he has a Villa in the South of France and they can all come and stay for a holiday. Puc and starfish are nominated.
23 - Puc and starfish take their nominations well and sit down with Fonz and Pink to discuss why they voted for them. Fonz keeps quiet but Pink accuses Puc of being an arrogant, lazy, self-centred sack before bursting into tears.
24 - The public vote starfish out of the house and nobody really gives a shit. starfish leaves.
25 - Fonz becomes the first housemate to have a wank. This footage goes down well with the Big Brother pschologist who proclaims that it gives us a true insight into the working of Fonz's mind and brings out his true personality. In other words, he's a wanker.
26 - Big Brother sets the remaining three housemates the task of shifting 5000 tons of whale dung using only a can opener. Fonz is unsure but Puc is confident, claiming to have done something very similar when he was younger. They gamble 50% of the food budget.
27 - Completely out of the blue, Puc breaks down in tears and announces that he is leaving. He claims that it is because the dung-shifting task has brought back the painful memories of the whale incident from his childhood. Pink tries to persuade him to stay but Fonz sits in a corner, rubbing his hands slyly. Puc decides to leave.
28 - With only two housemates remaining, the whale dung task proves impossible. They fail miserably and resort to getting extremely pissed on some vegetable wine, made by Pink from a couple of mouldy carrots she found in the Big Brother garden.
29 - Nominations are due for the final time. Fonz asks Pink to marry him and she accepts. Unsurprisingly Fonz nominates Pink to leave. Rather more surprisingly, so does Pink.
30 - When the nomination is announced, Pink graciously accepts defeat and proclaims that Fonz is a worthy winner. As they are soon to marry, she also agrees to shag him. The event is broadcast live to the nation and is preceded by a speech from the Queen. Everyone in the Big Brother production crew breathe a huge sigh of relief as viewing figures go through the roof. Fonz takes his £70,000 and runs away to the Congo. Nobody, including Pink, ever sees him again.
Day 1 - Fonz admits straight away that he doesn't like the look of bikinimom. He says she looks like a lesbian. As it turns out, starfish is in fact the only lesbian in the house, although Puc later admits that he is unsure of his true sexuality.
2 - The house sit down for a discussion of how to organise simple chores. 2Thick creates tension by stating that the kitchen is where the women belong. Pink hits him with a can opener.
3 - The housemates are set their first task by Big Brother - they must make a model of Sears Tower out of tuna. After much persuasion by 2Thick, they gamble 50% of next week's food budget on completing the task.
4 - Training for the Sears Tower task is well under way. However havoc ensues when Puc, who is rapidly developing a reputation as the laziest fat bastard in the house, eats half the tuna. Pink is furious.
5 - Today is the day when the Sears Tower task must be completed. Things are going well until shortly before the end when Puc farts and blows Sears Tower over. Big Brother announces that the task has been a failure. bikinimom cries.
6 - 2Thick gets pecked on the arm by one of the Big Brother chickens. Not a very exciting day.
7 - Big Brother is worried that things are getting dull, so he summons the housemates to have a mass debate about sex. After far too many cans of cider, bikinimom admits that she likes to be spanked on the arse with a can opener. Fonz says he never wears condoms because they make his sack sore and 2Thick agrees. starfish goes into a rant about how none of the other housemates have ever enjoyed a true orgasm because they're all boring heterosexual bastards. Puc sits in the corner, quietly eyeing up 2Thick.
8 - Today is the first day that the housemates must nominate someone to leave. Fonz goes round everyone one by one, telling them he really likes them because they're the only one in the house that he can really relate to. Pink and bikinimom are voted as the two candidates to leave. Nobody votes for Fonz.
9 - Pink and bikinimom are told of their nominations and burst into tears, before hugging everyone and telling them they love them. starfish sings them a song - The Game of Love - to make them feel better.
10 - The public vote bikinimom out of the house. She pretends not to be bothered but then breaks down and sobs that she should never have admitted about enjoying being spanked. bikinimom leaves.
11 - Relationships are strained in the house as the housemates come to terms with bikinimom's departure. The food budget is low due to the failure of last week's failed task. starfish has to make do without the cucumber she requested. Pink is visibly depressed and is comforted by 2Thick, who tries to touch her on her taint skin.
12 - The Big Brother pyschologist replays the footage of 2Thick touching Pink's taint skin over and over again. This is because it shows an interesting psychological incident, of course, not because it will increase the viewing figures. Big Brother sets the housemates the task of jogging on a running machine for twice the circumferance of the globe. They gamble 40% of the food budget on completing it.
13 - The running machine task is on target, despite the fact that Puc refuses to run because his sack hurts a bit.
14 - Much jubilation in the house as the running machine task is completed. Puc finally manages to run the last 10 metres of the task and claims that without him they'd never have done it. Pink calls Puc a lazy sack.
15 - Once again it is the day when nominations are due. Fonz tells everyone individually that he thinks Pink is a whore. He also points out that anyone who wants to stay at his flat when the show is finished is welcome to come and visit. Pink and 2Thick are nominated by the housemates to leave. Nobody votes for Fonz.
16 - The nominations are announced. Pink can't believe she's been voted out two weeks in a row. 2Thick is equally stunned and turns to Pink for comfort. Puc is distraught and confesses to starfish that he thinks he is in love with 2Thick. starfish says she doesn't fancy any of the housemates because they're all just too heterosexual and she's a lesbian, you know
17 - The public vote 2Thick out of the house. Pink says she is gutted and even gives 2Thick a clipping of hair from her taint skin to prove how much she cares. Puc is also devastated but keeps his hair to himself. 2Thick leaves.
18 - The Big Brother psychologist shows repeated clips of Pink clipping the hair from her taint skin. Apparently this is an important psychological incident. The public obviously agree as viewing figures soar.
19 - Big Brother sets the housemates the task of burping the National Anthem of the Congo in 60 seconds. They gamble 50% of the food budget on completing it.
20 - Nobody has a clue what the National Anthem of the Congo sounds like but Puc says it's a bit like Dancing Queen. The housemates choose Fonz as the one who must complete the task.
21 - Fonz successfully burps not only the National Anthem of the Congo but also God Save The Queen, The Game of Love and the theme tune to Law & Order. He is proclaimed as a hero, despite the fact that a vote in a tabloid newspaper shows that 98% of the public want to kill him.
22 - Nominations are due and Fonz tells everyone that he has a Villa in the South of France and they can all come and stay for a holiday. Puc and starfish are nominated.
23 - Puc and starfish take their nominations well and sit down with Fonz and Pink to discuss why they voted for them. Fonz keeps quiet but Pink accuses Puc of being an arrogant, lazy, self-centred sack before bursting into tears.
24 - The public vote starfish out of the house and nobody really gives a shit. starfish leaves.
25 - Fonz becomes the first housemate to have a wank. This footage goes down well with the Big Brother pschologist who proclaims that it gives us a true insight into the working of Fonz's mind and brings out his true personality. In other words, he's a wanker.
26 - Big Brother sets the remaining three housemates the task of shifting 5000 tons of whale dung using only a can opener. Fonz is unsure but Puc is confident, claiming to have done something very similar when he was younger. They gamble 50% of the food budget.
27 - Completely out of the blue, Puc breaks down in tears and announces that he is leaving. He claims that it is because the dung-shifting task has brought back the painful memories of the whale incident from his childhood. Pink tries to persuade him to stay but Fonz sits in a corner, rubbing his hands slyly. Puc decides to leave.
28 - With only two housemates remaining, the whale dung task proves impossible. They fail miserably and resort to getting extremely pissed on some vegetable wine, made by Pink from a couple of mouldy carrots she found in the Big Brother garden.
29 - Nominations are due for the final time. Fonz asks Pink to marry him and she accepts. Unsurprisingly Fonz nominates Pink to leave. Rather more surprisingly, so does Pink.
30 - When the nomination is announced, Pink graciously accepts defeat and proclaims that Fonz is a worthy winner. As they are soon to marry, she also agrees to shag him. The event is broadcast live to the nation and is preceded by a speech from the Queen. Everyone in the Big Brother production crew breathe a huge sigh of relief as viewing figures go through the roof. Fonz takes his £70,000 and runs away to the Congo. Nobody, including Pink, ever sees him again.
