Dude...what the HELL do I do with this B*tch?

[Big Johnson]

I'll try and make this brief:

My girl/ex-girlfriend is a complete psycho. Her psychiatrist put her depakote and paxil a few months ago, but I'm thinking she needs something much, MUCH stronger. She's verbally abusive and violent. I've had about as much of the fucking bitch as I can handle. After two and a half years of bullshit, I'm ready to throw the towel in for good.

I mean, she's a serious mental case and sooner or later I'm either going to get my throat slit in my sleep, poisoned, or lose patience with her and do something I've never even wanted to do before; get violent with a woman.

Last night this bitch clawed me up pretty good. She called me stupid and I, for the first time in a while, told her who I thought was stupid (I mean, I pay the rent, phone, utilities, groceries, insurance, car, etc. because she can't hold down a job. I even buy her drugs for her! She hasn't worked in three months and doesn't go to school. Must be nice.

So, now she's in my apartment and won't leave. The police won't help, either. How do I get this wacked bitch out of my apartment? She never, EVER leaves. I'm thinking of canceling the phone and utilities this morning. She's burned them all and can't open an account in her name. If I could get her to leave for some reason, I could change the locks and put her shit out.

Do I need to evict her? She isn't even on the lease, but California law protects her. Should I get a restraining order?

How do I get the bitch out of my apartment without getting evil on her ass???

 

[HumorMe]

Schedule her an appointment to do her hair or go to the doctor. Drive her there and then leave and go back to your place. Put all of her shit at the street or in the driveway and change the locks. You have to act fast though. Man, I hate it for you.

Her name isn't smallmovesal by any chance is it?



J/k Big Johnson and all MODS!

 

[The Shadow]

A restraining order at this point would not be out of the question.

 

[WODIN]

Damn this sucks. As Conrho suggest a restraining order is the way to go.

 

[Big Johnson]

Schedule her an appointment to do her hair or go to the doctor. Drive her there and then leave and go back to your place. Put all of her shit at the street or in the driveway and change the locks.

This is a great idea. Damn.

 

[manny78]

Kick her out of the app. Need handcuffs to do the job ? A Taser perhaps ?

 

[Big Johnson]

Damn this sucks. As Conrho suggest a restraining order is the way to go.

Yep. It sucks. Its not the hitting about the face and head I mind so much as the claw marks now adourning my left eye socket (yes, the bitch tried to gouge out my eye when she tried and failed to kick me in the groin several times).

I agree. An RO is going to be a must.

Women...

 

[Big Johnson]

Kick her out of the app. Need handcuffs to do the job ? A Taser perhaps ?

LOL! My friend already suggested duct tape and a ball-bag! I wish the bitch would just GO.

GO BITCH GO

 

[HumorMe]

This is a great idea. Damn.

Thanks Big.....I failed to mention the last part.....don't go back and pick her up from her appointment!

Make her walk or take a cab!

 

[Drizzt]

I would be in some mighty big trouble as if some bitch goes to claw my eyes out or kick me in the pearls I would be fucking thumping that bitches head like a bongo drum. You are a much better man than I my friend. I suggest grabbing her by the neck and throwing her out in the ass with all her shit and saying A B FUCKING C YA.

Drizz

 

[Big Johnson]

I would be in some mighty big trouble as if some bitch goes to claw my eyes out or kick me in the pearls I would be fucking thumping that bitches head like a bongo drum. You are a much better man than I my friend. I suggest grabbing her by the neck and throwing her out in the ass with all her shit and saying A B FUCKING C YA.

Drizz

Bro, this is the first female in my 27 years of life I've had violent feelings of any kind for. Funny how things change. Okay, not funny.

 

[supersizeme]

I think this woman needs to be urinated on and then set on fire.

Seriously...restraining order. Get one.

 

[Lao Tzu]

i hope the state gives you a restraining order. Sadly, we live in a sexually biased society where it is probably much harder for a man to get a restraining order against a woman, but i assume you'll have enough evidence to justify one.

If that stupid bitch Nicole Kidman can get a restraining order because a man asks her out, i don't see why you can't get one for having your eye almost gouged out.

 

[Big Johnson]

Just shut the power and phone off. Damn, she's going to be fucking pissed. Now who's "stupid," eh?

Thanks for making me laugh, bros

supersize

Seriously...restraining order. Get one.

RO, here I come!

 

[Frackal]

I would be in some mighty big trouble as if some bitch goes to claw my eyes out or kick me in the pearls I would be fucking thumping that bitches head like a bongo drum. You are a much better man than I my friend. I suggest grabbing her by the neck and throwing her out in the ass with all her shit and saying A B FUCKING C YA.

Drizz

Me too bro....some bitch tries to claw my eye out she's gonna be bouncing her head between my foot and the floor.

 

[Lord_Suston]

I got a shovel and a 45, no one will miss her... First in the middle of the night get some animals and startd murdering them in front of her, if she joins in then take pictures bring them to the cops and walah have her restrained.....

 

[beefybull]

Get all the bastard ideas you need right here:

Chip's Parazite - One of the craziest sites on the web

 

[danielson]

wait till she leaves for work, change the locks and leave her stuff outside

stick in a peep hole, and instruct the neigbours to call the cops if a disturbance is heard....

 

[PinK233]

She sounds like a catch

Kick her crazy ass out, change the locks and don't take her ass back...

 

[velvett]

A restraining order at this point would not be out of the question.

<--------------- What Cornholio said.


Egads.
Have you tried talking to her doctor?

You could tell her that you're gonna to have her institutionalized if she doesn't leave by her own free will. (ok maybe not)

Does she have parents?

Stop buying her ANYTHING.

Stop buying food (she does eat right? or no?) and make sure you always eat before you go home. Try and remove anything from your home has value to you and you can sneak out.

Cut all the utilities if you have to.

Remove all the soap and shampoo from your home.
Shower at the gym.

When she is dirty enough or hungry enough refuse to leave and buy anything hand her some money and tell her to fetch whatever she needs.


What did the police say to you?

You're a big guy - why can't you just throw her over your shoulder and drop her off at mommy and daddy's house - or the like.

 

[dballer]

try to get her into legos