Domestic Violence

[Lumberg]

If it had no bad consequences for me i would help her/him.
If i was in a hurry for something important to me i´d probably stop and ask her if she/he needs a telephone.

The first post includes that if he helped the girl he could get into trouble with the police.
I wouldn´t go that far to risk myself in situation where she could easily help herself. An anonymous phone call wouldn´t be trouble, so that would be ok.
Going over and punching her bf would be trouble with the police and result in more trouble with the cannabis.

Another difference to the analogy you provided is that the person in your story is not able to help her/himself for some reason.
In the original post she could easily help herself.

Actually you're kind of missing the point. What we are saying here is that due to either her raising or her unstable mental state, the abused woman in effectively unable to help herself and that at the very least she needs a "jump start" to get her critical faculties in gear.

Now without being able to see inside her mind we cannot say if she is or is not able to help herself. So I guess you could say we are like psychologists whose armchair diagnoses disagree. No reputable psychologist would make similar statements without seeing the patient himself. Therefore I am beginning to realize that this discussion is absurd.

JC

 

[TEXgrl]

norman,

coming from an abusive home for many years, i can tell you that you are not able to help yourself in most cases. YOU ARE PARALYZED BY FEAR. in the beginning she probably did stand up for herself. most likely what that got her was a more terrible beating. you learn to be quiet, still, and wait for it to end. i can assure you that is what is going thru her mind. you are afraid of what will happen if you leave. you feel powerless, trapped, desperate, just wishing someone would look at you and help you.

i could go on, but all i really wanted to say was unless you've walked a mile in her shoes, you should keep your opinions to yourself

my advice is call the police, try to see her alone, and offer to take her to a shelter.

 

[RIZZO]

Think how you would feel if it was your sister or mother and then what if you come home one day and see an ambulance outside and her leaving in a bodybag.DO NOT SIT AROUND AND WONDER WHAT TO DO! The cell phone is very easy to use and the fact that you could be saving someones life should appeal to you......

 

[fistfullofsteel]

i didn't read the thread but if some guy is beating up on a girl you know then put the guy's face through a cement or brick wall. if you can't do it with your fists then take a bat to his face then knees and arms so he will remember it.


btw, wear a ski mask.

 

[fistfullofsteel]

The last thing I need is a pissed off psycho neighbor.

not always a good tactic or maybe not even a good tactic but sometimes to deal with psychoes, you need to become a bigger psycho

 

[Norman Bates]

Actually you're kind of missing the point. What we are saying here is that due to either her raising or her unstable mental state, the abused woman in effectively unable to help herself and that at the very least she needs a "jump start" to get her critical faculties in gear.

Now without being able to see inside her mind we cannot say if she is or is not able to help herself. So I guess you could say we are like psychologists whose armchair diagnoses disagree. No reputable psychologist would make similar statements without seeing the patient himself. Therefore I am beginning to realize that this discussion is absurd.

JC

I agree with you, we are probably missing each others points.

 

[Norman Bates]

norman,

coming from an abusive home for many years, i can tell you that you are not able to help yourself in most cases. YOU ARE PARALYZED BY FEAR. in the beginning she probably did stand up for herself. most likely what that got her was a more terrible beating. you learn to be quiet, still, and wait for it to end. i can assure you that is what is going thru her mind. you are afraid of what will happen if you leave. you feel powerless, trapped, desperate, just wishing someone would look at you and help you.

i could go on, but all i really wanted to say was unless you've walked a mile in her shoes, you should keep your opinions to yourself

my advice is call the police, try to see her alone, and offer to take her to a shelter.

1. I stick to my point, if she wants help she should ask the police for it, that´s what they are there for.

2. Be assured that i won´t keep my opinion to myself just because you tell me to.

3.We agree on something.

After all that bashing on me i wonder if i wrote somewhere, that you should go over , watch the bashing until her bf cracks her head open and than make a bet with him how long it takes for her brains to drop to the floor.
Just let me check... no , i didn´t give advice like that.
SO maybe you should start to critique my advice that was to call the cops. But wait , that´s the same as you said.

 

[Norman Bates]

Think how you would feel if it was your sister or mother and then what if you come home one day and see an ambulance outside and her leaving in a bodybag.DO NOT SIT AROUND AND WONDER WHAT TO DO! The cell phone is very easy to use and the fact that you could be saving someones life should appeal to you......

My advice was to call the cops
for everyone who thinks about discussing with me without reading what i wrote two times already.
And if my mom was hit by someone i would tell her to call the police, too, on the first time. But be assured that i wouldn´t have to advice her to do that!