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Do YOU push Love away?

havoc

Shaolin Ninja
Do you run away/put up a wall against care, affection, love, etc. I must admit I do at times. Guess it has to do with my past experience with it. I'm not too sure if the pain/risk is worth it anymore. I'm fine without it. I'm thinking too much, creating issues that are not there. Not too cool in my opinion. peace
 
Love could apply to your dog, your father, your mother, your sister, your llama, your significant other. peace
 
havoc said:
Do you run away/put up a wall against care, affection, love, etc. I must admit I do at times. Guess it has to do with my past experience with it. I'm not too sure if the pain/risk is worth it anymore. I'm fine without it. I'm thinking too much, creating issues that are not there. Not too cool in my opinion. peace

your young, evenyually you will find the right girl, and will spend your life with her.

Alot of that life will be spent pondering the question "where would I be if I had never gottem married?''

Most likely answer- Actually having sex intead of trying to remember what it was like!
 
I think everyone to some dregree puts up a wall to keep from feeling hurt or pain related to relationships. This is confusing attachment with love in my opinion. True love is difficult to see since it is covered with a gazillion marketing ploys trying to sell us love.
 
Actually, I am not a fan of marriage at all. Did not want to get personal, but this has to do with a family member who I have had troubled times with, yet it could apply to many things. Thanks for the thoughts. peace
 
You know how it goes havoc, it is better to love and lost than never to love at all. I do have to admit however when that the loving is better than the losing.
 
Ok first off yea I actually do push love away. For some reason it makes me feel fucking weird to say "I love you" hell I dont even like to hug my mom, dad, or brother or any family member for some reason. I also have a hard time in relationships with girls because I get this feeling of being smothered.

Havoc, how old are you bro??? Just curious because HughJorgen said you were young, I am 22 by the way.
 
I'm 26, having an issue with a family member that has recently come back into my life as well as my entire families life. peace
 
Havoc

I do...to an extent. I am fine without anyone else - maybe better?!

relationships are timing...women do this to themeslves also...so you have to meet the right person at the right time....or be unhappy.

hope things work out all right. peace.
 
We can pick lovers, we can pick friends, but we can never pick family.

I'd say if you can not love this person, you can at least be the better person and be decent to them when in a family situation.

Love, trust and respect have to be earned by ALL..Never given due to "family" status.
 
Like my ole Grandpa Zebo used to say....

"Better to have loved and lost than to have paid for it and not liked it......"
 
havoc said:
I'm 26, having an issue with a family member that has recently come back into my life as well as my entire families life. peace

Maybe this could be a good thing unless of course they want money.
 
Just remember these words: You can pick your friends, you can pick your girls, but you can't pick your nose without eventually being tempted to eat it.


As for the real question, about 2 months ago and prior I would have ran from love, now (an entire year later!) I'm pretty much ok iwth the whole 'heart pulled out and jackhammered into a frying pan' thing so I say bring it on!
 
I've had my heart broken twice by two different females, the last was was just last week.

It hurts but I'm not going to shut myself in and not let anyone get close again. That's no way to live.
 
I have put up walls in the past. Then it hit me that I don't want to be the person who lives my life like I'm stepping on eggshells.






~ The Pixster! WUHOOO! 9/2002
 
curling said:
You know how it goes havoc, it is better to love and lost than never to love at all. I do have to admit however when that the loving is better than the losing.

I call shenanigans on Aflred Lord Tennyson!
 
I don't really think love is necessary for human happiness. I mean, I know my parents love me, but it doesn't make me feel special or anything. They love me 'cuase I'm their kid, not 'cause of anything particular on my part.

As for relaionships, I get that "smothered" feeling alot. I don't like it, and hence I don't date that often. I needs me freedom. :)
 
havoc said:
Do you run away/put up a wall against care, affection, love, etc.

I haven't in a long time...

B True
 
It doesn't matter where in our lives we look...there are risks involved in every aspect....

But you must base your decisions on the theory that twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did.

And truthfully I believe that in life there is no such thing as security..it is merely a superstition that we hold inside our mind to rationalize our fears...Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.

Best of Luck to you havoc!!
 
....walls are indeed an issue..past experiences tend to make it hard to fully commit.....
 
polarpixie said:
I have put up walls in the past. Then it hit me that I don't want to be the person who lives my life like I'm stepping on eggshells.


~ The Pixster! WUHOOO! 9/2002



I used to build those same walls, but then someone decided that maybe there was someone worth saving behind those walls. The walls are still there, but they are a lot smaller than they used to be. Sometimes, all it takes is for one special person to find a hole in that wall, and pretty soon, that wall will start coming down.:)
 
I've been known to do this. Sometimes, you just get scared of being hurt again. That's what my problem was. I didn't want to open myself up to another person. I'm still not really good at this. That'll just take time. I think if the truly right person comes along, then I won't have a problem opening myself to them. At least, I hope so. I guess I will find out.

PHATchik
 
no but Ive been smacked by that wall before, hurts lol Ive as of late actually been really using walls on "friends" not potential gf's, friends have fucked me over then the other and I am suspicious now so I wall myself from new poeple and certain friends I already have...
 
Re: Re: Do YOU push Love away?

HUGHJORGEN said:


your young, evenyually you will find the right girl, and will spend your life with her.

Alot of that life will be spent pondering the question "where would I be if I had never gottem married?''

Most likely answer- Actually having sex intead of trying to remember what it was like!

Not if he ends up divorced like 50% of marriages. And how many of the other 50% are unhappy? By the way, 80% of divorces are instigated by the woman.
 
Yes, I am very afraid of ever getting close to another woman. I have loved twice and for whatever reason, they both fell out of love with me. I also have a child to take care of and I'm afraid to let anyone come between us.
 
havoc, you seem like a person that is particularly concerned about staying cool and disconnected from things. I know, I know- I don't really know the person behind the havoc, but there's no way a person can keep at least part of their real personality from coming through online. Not a flame, just an observation. :)

But yes, I'm afraid of getting close to someone. That opens up all sorts of vulnerabilities and the possibility of a lot of stress and heartache. It's scary stuff. It's like doing a drug you know is really fucking good, but the comedown is twice as bad. Yet you keep trying it again and again, hoping that this time there will be enough to stay up on it forever.
 
By the way, I compare entirely too many things to drugs. Yes, I'm aware of that. :D You'd think I did fucking eight ball every night or something. Usually I just wack off though. :)
 
casavant said:
By the way, I compare entirely too many things to drugs. Yes, I'm aware of that. :D You'd think I did fucking eight ball every night or something. Usually I just wack off though. :)

HAHAHAHA!!!! Go to the porn site that was posted. I just got through wacking. Now I can sleep good, After I clean the keyboard off. Real women are fast becoming obsolete with internet porn.
 
havoc said:
Do you run away/put up a wall against care, affection, love, etc. I must admit I do at times. Guess it has to do with my past experience with it. I'm not too sure if the pain/risk is worth it anymore. I'm fine without it. I'm thinking too much, creating issues that are not there. Not too cool in my opinion. peace

I know exactly what you are talking about. I HATE IT WHEN I ACT LIKE THAT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT!! When I act like an imbecile I just remind myself how badly it hurt me when it was done to me - to be the one pushed away. It hurt like a bitch. I don't know if I will ever really get over that pain.... BUT I DO KNOW THAT I AM NOT ABOUT TO BLOW SOMETHING REALLY GOOD FOR THE MISTAKES OF SOME PREVIOUS JACKASS!
 
sereneman said:


HAHAHAHA!!!! Go to the porn site that was posted. I just got through wacking. Now I can sleep good, After I clean the keyboard off. Real women are fast becoming obsolete with internet porn.

I can't sleep without wacking it anymore. My body is trained.
 
I do push love away..

I've been doing it ever since I was a young girl.
It seems like the ones that I was the closest to, (my dad, my boyfriends or my
girl friends), they would end up hurting me in some way.
I don't ever see my dad anymore, because of this.

So I got to the point that I wouldn't get to close to anyone.

It's funny you mention the dogs.. LOL Cause I had a Dog to die about 2 years ago,
and at that time I had made up my mind not to ever get another pet.
Well I soften on that.... I got a new puppy (pom) about 8 months ago, and
he has brought a lot of love into my life... :D

I guess if we don't ever experience hurt in some way.. We will never experience
love.. So we do have to take chances, if we want to have those feelings.


Havoc I wish you all the Love and Happiness in Your Life..

Pamela
 
Last edited:
Pamela said:
I do push love away..

I've been doing it ever since I was a young girl.
It seems like the ones that I was the closest to, (my dad, my boyfriends or my
girl friends), they would end up hurting me in some way.
I don't ever see my dad anymore, because of this.

So I got to the point that I wouldn't get to close to anyone.

It's funny you mention the dogs.. LOL Cause I had a Dog to die about 2 years ago,
and at that time I had made up my mind not to ever get another pet.
Well I soften on that.... I got a new puppy (pom) about 8 months ago, and
he has brought a lot of love into my life... :D

I guess if we don't ever experience hurt in some way.. We will never experience
love.. So we do have to take chances, if we want to have those feeling.


Havoc I wish you all the Love and Happiness in Your Life..

Pamela

Hi Pam. I hope you are doing well.
My sister can't have children, so her dogs are like her children. She had 3 Pomeranians, one of them is still alive and 14 years old and in heat. Last year, I was the lucky one who found her oldest dog dead by the toilet. I'll never forget the contorted grotesque look of death on the dog's face. I know I have a morbid outlook on life, but I do have some Hope that somehow everything will be alright after all the suffering.
 
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