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Do you live with a SLOB???

H

Heavy Weight Champ

New member
Ok, my wife is the biggest god damn slob on the face of the planet, and me, well I'm a perfectionist and a neat freak. Before we got married she was perfect. Always picked up after herself and shared in the household chores. Now she dosen't do a damn thing but wreck my house!!

Night before last I cleaned my house from top to bottom, I come home from work yesterday and there are dirty dishes all over the sink, table and cofee table. Soda cans all over. She made a sandwhich for my son and left the meat, bread, mayo, ect out on the counter (she does this daily- big waste of food). Cigarette butts all over the garage floor. She gave my 4 year old a bag of popcorn and I guess he dumped it out all over the living room floor and she didn't clean it up. I come home to this exact same shit everyday!!!!!!!!! a wrecked house!

I have told her countless times that if she dosen't start picking up after herself that I'm going to leave. It's causing too many fights between us. She always says she's going to try and do better, but nothing changes.... it's been like this for 4 years. What should I do? Should I say fuck it and bail? should I give her another chance?

have any of you ever had this problem?
 
uh, i'm a slob, but not like that with food.

i just have a lot of paper lying around and i tend to not put my clothes away.
 
The woman you ask to marry you is not the woman you'll be married to. It's a roll of the dice.

I say, rub her nose in it like you would a puppy. Especially if she forgets to flush the toilet.
 
Buy yourself a powerwasher for Christmas....When you arrive home and find the mess,turn it on FULL force and clean the place out like they do at the zoo's...WHOOOOSH! Buy a POWERFUL ONE..SHE SOUNDS NASTY!

Oh yeah, make sure she's in the line of fire so you can wash her dirty ass out the door along with the mess.
 
vixenbabe said:
Buy yourself a powerwasher for Christmas....When you arrive home and find the mess,turn it on FULL force and clean the place out like they do at the zoo's...WHOOOOSH! Buy a POWERFUL ONE..SHE SOUNDS NASTY!

Oh yeah, make sure she's in the line of fire so you can wash her dirty ass out the door along with the mess.
Click to expand...

INDUSTRIAL STRENGTH LEAF BLOWER!!!!!!!! Doesn't screw up the carpets.
 
Sounds like she became dependent on your cleaning. She doesn't have to do it because she knows you will. She has basically taken you for granted.

Try not cleaning anymore if you can stand it - make a bigger mess yourself and leave it to her to clean it. I wouldn't suggest leaving her over it though. Consider getting an apartment and living there until she can do her part . . .
 
Originally posted by frorider6

INDUSTRIAL STRENGTH LEAF BLOWER!!!!!!!! Doesn't screw up the carpets.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

True!

God, I'd die if I lived with a slob...This from a woman who has her soup cans in alpha order in her pantry. NO SHIT...Talk about extremes! I kill myself cleaning house!
 
man i wouldn't EVEN be able to put up with that. does your wife work all day or is she a stay at home mom? i could almost halfway maybe begin to start to understand if she worked all day like you, but if she's at home all day letting this mess accumulate, that's messed up. maybe this woman won't wake up and see that there's a problem unless you leave. sucks that some people don't "get it" until you leave them, but maybe it's necessary. how's the rest of your marriage other than the slob problem?
 
Supersizseme- Yes she is a stay at home mom and she works 2 days per week part time from home. - our marriage would be great if we didnt fight all the time about the messes and our money problems.

Vixenbabe -
Buy yourself a powerwasher for Christmas....When you arrive home and find the mess,turn it on FULL force and clean the place out like they do at the zoo's...WHOOOOSH! Buy a POWERFUL ONE..SHE SOUNDS NASTY!
Click to expand...
- I wish my wife was like you! :) LOL!

Smallmovesal - Yes, she has been diagnosed with a depressive disorder- She is currently on Paxil and has been for years. She does not act depressed and has not for years.

Shadowknight - I have tried everything - Including not cleaning! I went for 2 weeks. I practically barfed everytime I went into the kitchen cuz the dishes in the sink stank sooo bad!

ps - Thanks for the karma :)
 
Well I'm a slob but my first wife had me beat. Now this woman was probably the most beautiful woman I ever dated, but she was a TOTAL pig. I did all the cooking,cleaning and laundry since she refused to do any. She'd eat stuff in the living room and leave the plate laying on the floor until it was covered with ants. Her side of the room had two piles of clothes, dirty and clean. She'd pick out something to wear, iron it, then off she went. The most disgusting thing I ever saw(and this is the god awful truth)
was when she ran out of underwear she's simply go into my drawer and wear mine. Well one day I went for a pair of undies I was in a hurry for work and the room was dark. I got to work and damn if they didn't feel funny, I went to the bathroom and looked and there was a sanitary napkin still stuck thru them that went through the wash.......UGH. More than that when I'd pick up her undies to wash more than once there was a bloody rags still stuck to them..............unreal
 
I'm a huge slob. If I didn't have a roomate, the apartment would look like a landfill site. I'm getting better though. Clean as I go, pick up my shit, etc.

The only thing that made me change my act was constant nagging.
 
I am a neat freak...I can't sleep if there's a mess in my room...everything has it's place....and dust? I hate it!
 
well to me she sounds unhappy since she didn't used to be that way... so probably the best thing is to go to couples counselling since you can't work it out between each other.

good luck.
 
Ugh. I live with someone similar, Heavy, and he is OCD, an interesting call by smalls.

I am far from neat, but I'm talking someone who can't discard envelopes of leftover soy sauce from delivered Chinese food. I'm talking piles and piles of crap. I'm talking someone who can't plant flowers in a bed, but spreads them all over the yard, so you can't mow the lawn and, when I complain, he goes out and cuts the grass with a pair of scissors. I'm talking about a life that looks like a closet in which a bomb was exploded. Chaos. Not filth, because he's one of the ranking public health scientists in the country! (Thus I can come home and find every piece of silverware out, balanced on an object in the kitchen, air-drying so no bacteria develop.)

We have fought for years about it. I have finally just accepted it but insisted he keep his outrageous messes contained to one room. That's helped a lot. But I threw enormous tantrums before anything changed even slightly. I also did like someone advised and insisted we have a maid who comes in weekly, often twice a week.

My partner, like your wife, was on Paxil for depression and, finally, his own therapist called me and asked me to come in because he was at his wit's end. (I'm a shrink.) I diagnosed OCD and, after inventorying the behavior, the therapist agreed. His Paxil dose was doubled and things have gotten a good bit better. At least, when his creeeping filth invades another part of the house, I can call him on it now and he'll act accordingly.

ONe thing I can tell you: Your wife is clueless. She can't imagine why this is such an issue to you. People who live in this state don't see why anyone else should care. They don't even see it. Typically, they don't see "whole pictures." And of course when they tell us it shoiuldn't matter that they turn our environments into landfills, it just makes us all the angrier.
 
Musclebrains - Sounds like we are in the same boat. My wife is a slob just as bad as you make your partner out to be if not worse. She's taking 20mg of paxil per day, was on zoloft but it wasn't helping her panic attacks. I actually feel better after reading your post.... Thank you. :)

It just kills me because I love her sooooo much but I just can't deal with this anymore.:bawling:


Talonracer - Nasty pads in the panties - see it all the time bro. Isn't that just the sickest fuggin thing ever!! I stepped on one of those dirty bastards once and It stuck to my shoe, didn't realize it until I got out of my car at the 7-11. :sick:
 
If your wife has a psychologist, I suggest you schedule a joint appointment where a third party can reflect what she probably hears as your unreasonable kvetching. I am guessing her dosage needs to be increased significantly, that she is more than depressed. And I doubt she will even begin to hear you seriously until a third party is introduced.

For the longest time, I thought my partner's behavior was a kind of covert hostility. That's what it feels like when someone continues to ignore what drives you crazy. But that's really not behind the behavior. They are clueless.
 
average dosage on paxil is 40mg, so u definitely want to follow musclebrains advice and check into counseling AND getting her dosage bumped up
after 6mo-1yr of use (from what i understand) paxil can also lose it's effectiveness
 
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