Dating!!!

[FreakMonster]

hey guys, When you go out on dates do you always pay for everything?

I don't mind paying on the first date, I just hate it when a girl automatically assumes your gonna take care of the bill everytime and doesn't even offer.

Too many fuckin beggar girls out there looking for a free meal!!

What the fuck? Where do you draw the line? After how many dates?

 

[havoc]

I always pay, its not that big of a deal to me, however, the girl usually asks me "do you want me to get that?" or "can I pay?", hearing words like that shows respect in a way and I welcome those words, they are comforting. If you must Freak, next time the bill comes, just sit there or put the check in her region of the table. peace

 

[WODIN]

It depends on the sex-date-money-ratio. For instance if by date three your getting hummers and anal then you are paying 80%.

 

[1911]

I pay.

Later,

 

[The_Ghost]

I am like Havoc, I usually always pay.

I like the fact that a woman will offer like he mentioned. I feel better about her when she does.

For me after 4-6 times out and she doesn't even offer once, she gets shown the door.

 

[Pandoras Aggression]

I can sense if the guy has an issue with the check.........if this happens I'll say "Let me get this" as I reach for the check. Maybe once the guy said "okay". The girl offering does show respect and a certain quality and the guy likes to say "no, no, no, I'll get it"....showing respect for the girl and he can take care of things( in a Freudian kind of way). It shows he cares and women are sensitive to that.

It wouldn't bother me to pay for dinner.....it's a small price to pay to see if I'm going to waste my time going out with him again.



Pandora

 

[supersizeme]

i don't think any self respecting man would allow a girl he was totally into to pick up the check. something just inherently wrong with that. part of dating is showing chicks that you're a force to be reckoned with and that includes displaying some level of financial security. this leads to getting tail. you're not gonna be getting much ass allowing the chick to cover her half...there's a million other guys she could be out with right now who would gladly pay for the date. why fuck it up for yourself?
tom leykus would have a different opinion but the reality is that girls basically expect it.

 

[FreakMonster]

Where do you draw the line?

After 3,4, 10 dates?

Dates can get expensive these days. Lets say you have gone out on 3 dates with a girl and spent $270 and she has not offered once and you have not gotten any play then I'd say she needs to hit the road.

Now if she offers, That's a different story. It shows she respects the fact that your paying for her way. Just my .02 cents!!

 

[Lord_Suston]

She should offer, but you should always pay, cause if you don't it shows you are a deadbeat.....

I have only let my girl pay once, cause she said she wanted to do something nice for me....
P.S. it is all about respect, cause if she ain't got it, she'll never have it....

 

[badazzwhitedude]

I will always pay on a date to show that I have things under control, but she better do something nice for me in return a little later on, otherwise she will get a size 12 in her ass. That is completely fair.

 

[Lord_Suston]

I will always pay on a date to show that I have things under control, but she better do something nice for me in return a little later on, otherwise she will get a size 12 in her ass. That is completely fair.

Damn I have only a size 9.5, does that count?????

 

[Icon]

If she asks you out, then she pays.

If you asked her out, then you pay.

But yeah, basically, the whole "courtship" stage is our financial
burden to bear... we pay for play. It's as old as sin.

 

[Milhouse]

Call me old fashioned but I usually pay 90% of the time.
Then again your gonna pay for it one way or the other.


Depends on the situation as well. If I get along well with the chick and we have fun going out, it is not the end of the world for me to pay. Doesn't mean I am gonna drop $100 on dinner on a reg basis though.

I do like it when it is offered of course.

 

[furious]

If it is a quality female, then she will ofer from the first date. I always pay for the first date, after that, it depends on how we are clicking. Women are expensive.

 

[Lord_Suston]

Damn them blood sucking leeches........
Why can't I find a sugar-momma?????

 

[MattTheSkywalker]

I always pay. Always. Every time every date.

The only exceptions to that are like if "she" plans something for my birthday or some event that she wants to set something up.

Otherise, I pay. Sometimes they will offer, and if it is a restaurant I usually say "you could leave the tip" or something like that.

 

[J-Ro]

Guys just have to bite the bullet and pay. Society has made men feel like cheapskates if they don't pick up the tab. It sucks.

 

[FreakMonster]

So how do you guys decipher the Gold Diggers from the ones that are really interested in you?

 

[gorth97]

I pay, but sometimes they insist on paying their share.

 

[badazzwhitedude]

So how do you guys decipher the Gold Diggers from the ones that are really interested in you?

If they don't put out or give anything in return. Also, if you go out and have some quality fun without spending much money and they aren't happy cause you aren't spending any money. A female better do something nice in return to show her gratitude after a couple of dates.

 

[Steroid_Virgin]

As the "guy" I always offer to pay, and most of the time expect to pay, when/if the girl offers to pay, I'll accept it and thank her and thats that. A decent girl will offer to pay now and then. I will usually pay for like 3 dinners... If there are no sparks in 3 dinners we're not going out again... I will never let any girl make a chump out of me, wether there's sex involved or not..

 

[MattTheSkywalker]

So how do you guys decipher the Gold Diggers from the ones that are really interested in you?

It usually becomes pretty obvious.

 

[havoc]

Gold Diggers? For food? Do they exist? Now if the female is asking me to purchase shit like clothes, makeup, etc then I'll drop her like a prom dress, but for food-just let the bitch eat. peace

 

[FreakMonster]

Gold Diggers? For food? Do they exist? Now if the female is asking me to purchase shit like clothes, makeup, etc then I'll drop her like a prom dress, but for food-just let the bitch eat. peace

LMAO!!

 

[Phumunda]

One thing my ex-girl said on day reeeeaaaally got under my skin:

We (along with a roommate and his girl) got on the subject of paying for dates and what-not... It wasn't an argument, just a convo... Yeah well she said "I think we have a good balance." Right then, all the past dates flashed thorugh my head... all the past checks, movie tickets, concert tickets, tips, etc. I can gaurantee you 90%+ of which fell upon my shoulders. And she has the nerve to stand there and make it sound like the shit was 50/50! Grrr... I really and honestly have no quams about paying almost all of the time, but don't stand there and make it sound like we're cutting checks right down the middle here.

... Yet another reason I'm glad she's my EX

Phumunda

 

[Bikini Mod]

Now if she offers, That's a different story. It shows she respects the fact that your paying for her way. Just my .02 cents!!

Uummmmm, you are PAYING HER WAY? WTF? ....is dinner like, rent or tuition?

Allow me to enlighten you. If a man does NOT have the resources to PAY FOR dinner while in the presence of my company, then he may cook it for me. I am NOT about the financial bottom line, but for God's sake, what the HELL was that comment about? What kind of women are you dating that the NEED you to pay for thier dinner?

If the women that you choose to entertain ARE QUALITY WOMEN then such a thought would NEVER cross your mind!

Have I EVER offered to pay for dinner? OF COURSE, I HAVE. May I also say that 99% of the men have refused to allow me to pick up the tab? The other 1% DID NOT get another date.

The way I look at it I am an exceptional woman. I get asked out A LOT. However, I refuse 99.9% of the time. Not because I am all that and above all men. But because of my situation it would take a pretty amazing man to be with me so I am EXTREMELY SELECTIVE. I DO NOT NEED A MAN TO PAY FOR MY DINNER. I have an extremely limited amount of time to socialize and I DO NOT BRING MEN AROUND MY CHILDREN - PERIOD. I prefer to spend the little free time that I DO have with friends and family.

I am a bit old fashioned when it comes to these matters. I also expect a man to stand when I leave the table as I expect him to stand and pull my chair out for me when I return. I also expect him to help me off and on with my coat and open the car door for me and help me out if I am dressed up. It can be very "unlady-like getting in and out of a car in a tight skirt and heels. (Rule is relaxed if we are going to the gym or just hangin' in jeans, etc.) I Also expect him to open the door for me, etc.

Is it because I am incapable? HELL NO! It is for the simple fact that if the dating relationship becomes one that is long term and more serious I will spend MORE than my fair share pleasing, supporting, sacrificing, etc..... If he can not do these simple things for me then there is NO WAY I will give all that I am in the future - plain and simple.

Perhaps you should more closely examine the caliber of women who you have been dating.

...just my .02

 

[daised]

Puc almost always pays for me, but i work at subway and he is a computer programer so there is a slight difference in our income.

 

[roidog420]

Uummmmm, you are PAYING HER WAY? WTF? ....is dinner like, rent or tuition?

Allow me to enlighten you. If a man does NOT have the resources to PAY FOR dinner while in the presence of my company, then he may cook it for me. I am NOT about the financial bottom line, but for God's sake, what the HELL was that comment about? What kind of women are you dating that the NEED you to pay for thier dinner?

If the women that you choose to entertain ARE QUALITY WOMEN then such a thought would NEVER cross your mind!

Have I EVER offered to pay for dinner? OF COURSE, I HAVE. May I also say that 99% of the men have refused to allow me to pick up the tab? The other 1% DID NOT get another date.

The way I look at it I am an exceptional woman. I get asked out A LOT. However, I refuse 99.9% of the time. Not because I am all that and above all men. But because of my situation it would take a pretty amazing man to be with me so I am EXTREMELY SELECTIVE. I DO NOT NEED A MAN TO PAY FOR MY DINNER. I have an extremely limited amount of time to socialize and I DO NOT BRING MEN AROUND MY CHILDREN - PERIOD. I prefer to spend the little free time that I DO have with friends and family.

I am a bit old fashioned when it comes to these matters. I also expect a man to stand when I leave the table as I expect him to stand and pull my chair out for me when I return. I also expect him to help me off and on with my coat and open the car door for me and help me out if I am dressed up. It can be very "unlady-like getting in and out of a car in a tight skirt and heels. (Rule is relaxed if we are going to the gym or just hangin' in jeans, etc.) I Also expect him to open the door for me, etc.

Is it because I am incapable? HELL NO! It is for the simple fact that if the dating relationship becomes one that is long term and more serious I will spend MORE than my fair share pleasing, supporting, sacrificing, etc..... If he can not do these simple things for me then there is NO WAY I will give all that I am in the future - plain and simple.

Perhaps you should more closely examine the caliber of women who you have been dating.

...just my .02

You expect a guy to stand when you leave the table????!?!?!!?! Man, I gotta say that there aren't to many guys out there that would do that & that doesn't make them rude or whatever you would call it if they didn't. Standing when a woman leaves the table is a BIT extreme. Who do you think you are--fucking royalty or something?! I agree with the opening doors, helping out of cars, etc., etc., but your taking it a little far with your expectations when you EXPECT guys to know to do that. Most guys havn't been to finishing school you know?! Do you curtzy(sp) when you meet a guy or what? I mean, thats old-fasioned too, but if a chick did that to me I wouldn't have the slightest clue what she was doing. It would freak me out. I think a guy standing when a chick gets up would probably freak out most girls on the other hand. I'll bet you expect a guy to thank you after you put out too huh mommy? Jees!

 

[Steroid_Virgin]

bikinimom...

Sounds like you live a nice little fantasy land.. who are your neighbors the tooth fairy and the easter bunny? I have seen you, your pictures.. you look good... but holy shit, you are one picky chick.. I avoid women like you like I avoid letters from afaganistan full of white powder... jesus christ can we say high mantianence??

You have problems

 

[smallmovesal]

my ex and i tended to split things down the middle but i think on the whole i paid more often...

 

[badazzwhitedude]

bikinimom...

Sounds like you live a nice little fantasy land.. who are your neighbors the tooth fairy and the easter bunny? I have seen you, your pictures.. you look good... but holy shit, you are one picky chick.. I avoid women like you like I avoid letters from afaganistan full of white powder... jesus christ can we say high mantianence??

You have problems

I agree. If ever I went out with such a female, I assure you there would be no second date. Period.

 

[FreakMonster]

Uummmmm, you are PAYING HER WAY? WTF? ....is dinner like, rent or tuition?

Allow me to enlighten you. If a man does NOT have the resources to PAY FOR dinner while in the presence of my company, then he may cook it for me. I am NOT about the financial bottom line, but for God's sake, what the HELL was that comment about? What kind of women are you dating that the NEED you to pay for thier dinner?

I mean shit like I said before, I am more the willing to pay everything the first couple of dates but when they start EXPECTING that your gonna pay for everything then that's it! Unless it turns into a serious relationship. I'm not gonna be dating some freeloader girl that expects me to take care of them everytime we go out and do something.

I guess most women around my area look for the big money players and I'm not one of them.

 

[FreakMonster]

You expect a guy to stand when you leave the table????!?!?!!?! Man, I gotta say that there aren't to many guys out there that would do that & that doesn't make them rude or whatever you would call it if they didn't. Standing when a woman leaves the table is a BIT extreme. Who do you think you are--fucking royalty or something?! I agree with the opening doors, helping out of cars, etc., etc., but your taking it a little far with your expectations when you EXPECT guys to know to do that. Most guys havn't been to finishing school you know?! Do you curtzy(sp) when you meet a guy or what? I mean, thats old-fasioned too, but if a chick did that to me I wouldn't have the slightest clue what she was doing. It would freak me out. I think a guy standing when a chick gets up would probably freak out most girls on the other hand. I'll bet you expect a guy to thank you after you put out too huh mommy? Jees!

Exactly!!!! BikiniMom What the fuck is that? Remember we are not all 45 yrs. old and ol' fashion like you are!!

 

[badazzwhitedude]

Actually BikiniMom, now that I think of it, that's all fine and dandy if a female wants that. But when the date is over, it's what I expect out of her. After all that, I expect her to hike up her skirt, drop her panties and bend over so I can stick her in the butt.

 

[big4life]

I am a bit old fashioned when it comes to these matters. I also expect a man to stand when I leave the table as I expect him to stand and pull my chair out for me when I return. I also expect him to help me off and on with my coat and open the car door for me and help me out if I am dressed up. It can be very "unlady-like getting in and out of a car in a tight skirt and heels. (Rule is relaxed if we are going to the gym or just hangin' in jeans, etc.) I Also expect him to open the door for me, etc.

This is called being a gentleman, guys.
It shows respect for the lady, and it's the only
way to treat her.

Yes I will generally pay.

 

[badazzwhitedude]

This is called being a gentleman, guys.
It shows respect for the lady, and it's the only
way to treat her.

Yes I will generally pay.

Opening doors and pulling out a chair, etc., I have no problem doing such things and I do them all the time. And I always pay too. These are things I do to show a female respect. Standing when she leaves the table, wiping her ass after she's done taking a shit, etc., I will leave that to you Mr. Gentleman. I show a woman respect, but I am not whipped and I will not kiss her ass. That is no way to live. About showing a woman respect: you have to have a little respect for yourself first. To me, going that far is absolutely degrading. It saddens me to see guys kissing ass and doing stupid stuff like that.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Thank you Big.

Guess what? I was just out this weekend and the gentleman I was with DID stand as I left the table, stood as I returned and pulled my chair out and helped push it in. He DID help me in and out of the car. He DID open doors....and yes, he DID pay.

Did I expect him to pay? NO. As a matter of fact he would not ALLOW me to pay.

As for me "putting out". I DO NOT PUT OUT.

If I want to FUCK some dude, then I will FUCK HIM because it will bring ME PLEASURE - and has NOTHING to do WITH HIM PAYING FOR DINNER - DUH!

IT is because of the majority of the responses to my reply (which I KNEW would come so it is ok) that I DO NOT DATE OFTEN.

What the men who think that I THINK that I am above them do not realize is that this has NOTHING to do with it and EVERYTHING to do with the fact that whoever I will be with MUST BE LIKE NO OTHER MAN.....Hello! I have FOUR CHILDREN! Don't you all realize that puts me in a completely different class of women? It has ZERO to do with my tits and ass - and EVERYTHING TO DO WITH MY GIRLS.

I can FUCK on my own time, but when it comes to dating and perhaps a REAL relationship, I must choose VERY WISELY for my children's sake as well as my own.

Am I looking for a "replacement daddy"? HELL NO! First off, I am not LOOKING for anyone and my children HAVE a father. But whomever I do bring to meet my children (if and when I ever do) will have to be unmatched by all others.

PS - My gentleman friend is 35 (NOT 110) - a bodybuilder, drop dead gorgeous, smart, witty and a wonderful dad.....tall, dark, handsome - AND OH MY GOD! His manners in public only pale in comparison to his SKILL in private.

 

[big4life]

Opening doors and pulling out a chair, etc., I have no problem doing such things and I do them all the time. And I always pay too. These are things I do to show a female respect. Standing when she leaves the table, wiping her ass after she's done taking a shit, etc., I will leave that to you Mr. Gentleman. I show a woman respect, but I am not whipped and I will not kiss her ass. That is no way to live. About showing a woman respect: you have to have a little respect for yourself first. To me, going that far is absolutely degrading. It saddens me to see guys kissing ass and doing stupid stuff like that.

First off, you don't even know me, so how can you say that
I'm "whipped". Not that I care what you think.

My self esteem is very high, thank you.
I don't kiss anyone's ass.
I have respect for the ladies I date, and I treat them
that way.
I also open doors for ladies I don't know, when entering offices,
my gym, and other buildings.

I don't do it to impress anyone, it's just out of respect.

 

[theoak01]

i pay,when the girl doenst even offer within the first 5 times then she can screw off,my girl offers to pay but i dont let her

 

[badazzwhitedude]

First off, you don't even know me, so how can you say that
I'm "whipped". Not that I care what you think.

My self esteem is very high, thank you.
I don't kiss anyone's ass.
I have respect for the ladies I date, and I treat them
that way.
I also open doors for ladies I don't know, when entering offices,
my gym, and other buildings.

I don't do it to impress anyone, it's just out of respect.

Actions speak louder than words. I also have respect for the women I date. I just don't kiss their ass and make them to be like I am in the presence of a god. There is a fine line there, and I intend NOT to cross it. I have enough respect for myself than to do that. If I am eating dinner and she gets up to go to the restroom, I will be god damned if I let her interupt my meal by me having to see her off. That's fucking rediculous.

BikiniMom, I understand the fact that you need to watch out for your kids and such, and to make sure that any guy you might possibly be in a relationship with must be someone who respects you and your kids. But having to have a guy that MUST do those things for you is completely irrelavent and has absolutely nothing to do with that. You can have very good manners with doing much less than your expectations of a man.

 

[kd]

...... I DO NOT PUT OUT.

If I want to FUCK some dude, then I will FUCK HIM because it will bring ME PLEASURE - and has NOTHING to do WITH HIM PAYING FOR DINNER - DUH!
..

More proof that you should'nt ever spend a lot of cash on a woman in hopes of getting some action.

[B...whoever I will be with MUST BE LIKE NO OTHER MAN..... [/B]

This of course would mean that you WOULD BE LIKE NO OTHER WOMAN to this man then?

I did treat my ex-wife like no other man. She eventually took if for granted, and walked all over me. (she was and still is a high fuckin maintaince bitch) In fact someone actually said that to me when things started to get really bad....."don't let her walk all over you....."...lol

Anyways....pay for dinner?...no problem, I love good food, with good company.

Stand up at the table, push the chair in and out?
probably not. If the woman I'm with needs that/wants that/would like that, to feel "like a lady", then I don't want to be with her.

 

[badazzwhitedude]

Right on KD. The most important matter on going out on a date is having fun together, which is my #1 priority. I do my best to show the lady I am with a good time and make her LAUGH. A certain amount of respect and manners is to be shown, I agree. But if you just go overboard, it takes away from the fun and it becomes a very formal affair, which can make things a bit uncomfortable. Just hang loose dammit and have good time and laugh. For god's sake...

 

[Bikini Mod]

This of course would mean that you WOULD BE LIKE NO OTHER WOMAN to this man then?

NO WORDS TRUER SPOKEN.

The man who I am fortunate enough to have in my life (and have had for several months prior as a friend and confidant) is just such a man.....and he can and will attest to the fact that I AM ALL THAT I HAVE SAID THAT I AM....That and so much more. (These were his exact words to me after we finally got together and moved our relationship to the next level).

Regardless of what YOU find to be an acceptable level of respect or mearly ritual, it boils down to one thing - TWO CONSENTING ADULTS exchanging respect, support, friendship and trust.

I have not downed you for your viewpoints and yet you have insulted those that believe these "rituals" to be outward expressions of respect. It's ok. See I can agree to disagree. You believe that a woman who expects these actions to be high maintanence and generally "using bitches". Ummmmmmm no, I tend to disagree. I am NEITHER. I demand more because I have alwasy accepted less in the past. Now, because it is no longer ABOUT ME, but about me AND MY CHILDREN, I have raised the standards TREMENDOUSLY. See, I have always MORE THAN DELIVERED on my end....sadly, I was let down.

See now, I would rather be alone with my high standards, than "have company" with those that fall short.....end of story.

Call me bitch. That's ok. IT IS MS QUEEN BITCH to you and smile when you say it!

 

[Frackal]

You expect a guy to stand when you leave the table????!?!?!!?! Man, I gotta say that there aren't to many guys out there that would do that & that doesn't make them rude or whatever you would call it if they didn't. Standing when a woman leaves the table is a BIT extreme. Who do you think you are--fucking royalty or something?! I agree with the opening doors, helping out of cars, etc., etc., but your taking it a little far with your expectations when you EXPECT guys to know to do that. Most guys havn't been to finishing school you know?! Do you curtzy(sp) when you meet a guy or what? I mean, thats old-fasioned too, but if a chick did that to me I wouldn't have the slightest clue what she was doing. It would freak me out. I think a guy standing when a chick gets up would probably freak out most girls on the other hand. I'll bet you expect a guy to thank you after you put out too huh mommy? Jees!

No fuckin' shit man.

You women want equal rights.

Pay half the fucking tab. That's equal.

What a bunch of crap...you damn women want to be treated equal to men where it benefits you, in the rights and workplace department, but not in the dating situation?

Well listen up:

Those old fashioned rules of a woman being subordinate, protected, and supported by a man, goes right along with the man taking them out on dates and paying.

How can you say you're old fashioned, and expect royalty-like treatment from men, but then also expect to have the modern rights as a modern woman?

Sounds like total fucking hippocracy to me.

Can't have it both ways. Either you want to be treated equally, or you don't.



(I like you bikinimom, hope we can keep the flames to a minimum)

 

[SeXKiTTen_CanDy]

I hate being paid for, I really do.

I don't like my man wastin his moolah on me, I can pay the tab.

It's nice when he wants to (which is all the time), but, I argue and pay.

Why in the hell should a guy pay for everything?

Rediculous!

 

[Frackal]

Sexkittencandy:

You are fucking awesome.

 

[Bikini Mod]

AHhhhhhhh Frackal....

You silly, silly, silly boy (you know I wuv you).

The fact of the matter is that just because I expect certain treatment from the man who is in my company DOES NOT MEAN that he does not receive EQUAL TREATMENT from ME!

Pulling out my chair and paying the tab PALE in comparison to what I bring to the relationship..... Hhhhhhm let me see, quick question:

The woman drives 5 1/2 hours/ 6 hours to visit for the weekend....gives (and receives MINDLBOWING SEX that lasts JUST ABOUT THE ENTIRE TIME SHE IS THERE), when not fucking, sucking, or otherwise violating each other in unspeakable ways - there is stimulating conversation, incessant laughing, some tears shed over past hurt, and peaceful slumber that can come only from the comfort of another human being who cares more for the happiness of their partner than for their own desires......just to scratch the surface - repeat every free weekend.

YOU TELL ME if it is NOT equal.

PS - The WOMAN is pleased as punch to have the opportunity to connect to such an amazing man and thinks NOTHING of the distance or the expenditures of time, expense or wear and tear on car, lost sleep, etc. SHE FEELS LUCKY TO BE IN HIS PRESENCE!

.....so you were saying Frack?

 

[SeXKiTTen_CanDy]

why thanks Frack



It IS nice to be paid for, but I'd prefer to pay. Don't really know why, just the way I feel about it, I support myself, and I like to support my boyfriend sometimes too.

 

[Frackal]

Bikinimom:

If there is equal treatment such as that you just described, than you are absolutely right.

A girl I love, who treats me like a king, will get treated like a queen.

However, I'm referring more to first, second, date type scenarios, with little emotional involvement, which I think should be strictly dutch.

 

[kd]

I learned a few things from my failed marriage.

I no longer have "standards" when it comes to women.
or simply mine are much lower than most others.

I won't really care if your refined or rough.
If you wear Calvin Klein or no name.
If you eat your steak with a salad fork.

because I was once with someone with high standards, and it was not a good experience.

Now, I look for someone who is fun to be with, can make me laugh, and is a passionate lover, and expects as much from me.

Hmmmm, lol, I guess there would be no second date for people like us BikMom?..lol

BikMom, I don't think your a bitch, I understand your viewpoint. Were actually opposite sides of a coin; you had less, it wasn't good, now you want more; I had more, it was bad, now I don't look at more as being always the best answer.

btw - I have two kids, we get along great. I would value and listen to their opinions on my personal/private life, but ultimately I would choose what would make me happy, of course the same would apply from me to them.

 

[Bikini Mod]

See everyone assumes that because I DEMAND a lot from the man in my company that this means that I DO NOT GIVE a lot....WRONG! I DEMAND NO LESS OF MYSELF THAN I DO FROM THOSE AROUND ME.....

He is due to come visit me next time around... I don't have large amount of expendable cash, but I will go out of my way to make his visit one where he will feel like his trip was worthwhile and of course, I am not only talking about sex. We can BOTH get sex whenever and wherever...believe me. Neither of us is so hard up that we have to travel over several states just to get some (although the SEX IS MINDBLOWING)....

I will try my damnedest to make him feel like he is the only man alive......because as far as I am concerned - HE IS.

See Frack, he put it out there FOR ME FIRST.....and I will do whatever I can to repay him for his kindness and respect. I know this seems female chauvenistic, but it has to come from him first. It doesn't take much, really, but the man must show me his strength of character. For example....when we first became good friends, he did not hide the fact that he had a girlfriend at the time nor did he hide his friendship with me from her.....THERE WAS NOTHING GOING ON BETWEEN US. He was just trying to help a friend who was going through a difficult time - EXPECTING NOTHING IN RETURN - MADE NO INAPPROPRIATE ADVANCES WHATSOEVER! He could have very easily taken advantage of the situation in that I was so emotionally vulnerable at the time....BUT HE DID NOT!...and he STILL is extremely patient with me doing what is RIGHT FOR ME...regardless of whether or not it benefits HIM DIRECTLY. Do you see where I am headed with all of this? Who pays for what and who helps who with their coat is irrelevant when you have so much more important issues....but still though they may seem superficial, they are not. They are merely an outward display of respect...a ritual. If one does not subscribe to these then that is fine. I was only stating MY PREFERENCE.

See, even though I am a demanding BITCH....I have ZERO difficulty finding a one-in-a-million guy....I didn't have to DEMAND JACK FROM HIM - he does what he does for me because he wants to please me.....I do not even have to ask.

And beleive me, it is EXACTLY as I described above.....I am MORE than willing to go the extra mile (try 300 miles!) to try and make him feel that I am doing the same for him! It is all about reciprocity!

 

[Bikini Mod]

kd - I respect your point of view. Ultimately, we have to do what makes us happy!

Dating...perhaps not, but friends...yes, that would be a possibility!

 

[Frackal]

BK Mom-

I agree with all your points.

I think you should talk the big R. into moving down to (new jersey?) with you.

I know that's who you're talking about, and you're right, he's a great guy...has helped me out a lot in the past.

I wish you all the luck in the world.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Frackal you nosey fucker!

Neither confirm nor deny...... hehehehheheeee

But yes, he is a man among men. Regardless of whether or not we end up together, we will be lifelong friends.....that is a feeling that I have deep in my heart...and I would venture to say that the feeling is mutual.

See, our lives are extremely complex and there are no easy answers. We have many obligations that we must tend to before we can tend to our own desires.... then there is the matter of me getting my head where it should be in order for me to be all that I should be to my girls.

He is always looking out FOR ME and what is best for me...even though it does not make me happy because I do not always get what I want.....he always tries to make me see what it is THAT I NEED! Then he points me in the right direction so that I can GET IT MYSELF!

There are no promises, no pie-in-the-sky bullshit air up my skirt...only patience and wisdom, kindness and respect, friendship and support, loyalty and trust.

I believe in fate and if our paths were not only meant to cross (which they have) but run along side each other....well then, that will be more than I could have dreamed of. But even it they only meet and run alongside each other for a brief moment in time, I will accept that as well....because he is truly that remarkable... I am happy that I can lean on him when I am feeling hopeless and afraid, and comforted by the knowledge that he truly does only want what is best for me.

See Frack.....things are not always what they seem on the surface. We have to protect the treasure that lies hidden deep within us, careful not to give it away to just anyone lest it cheapens it. But once the right person has come to dig beneath those protective layers...... the treasure will not only shine like it never has before but it will multiply and overflow.

Now it is late and I am delirious and getting too fucking corny for my own good. hehehhehehehe

 

[madbomber31]

man, this topic makes me bitter...

one of the reasons i was poor with money in nashville was that i constantly paid for the girls dinner, movie, etc... i'd say it ended up at 85-15 ratio... if not worse than that... even when i'd visit after moving to michigan, i'd still pay most of the time.

the girl had over 100k in stocks and i was flat broke, paying.. my first real relationship.. and i learned... now its getting closer to 50/50 with the new girl, not quite but its pretty close.. i respect that... she knows i dont make a lot of money and to be honest i'd rather not eat out much anyway...

lookin back to nashville... i want some fucking money back!!!!!!!! then again, i guess whores aren't free.

 

[roidog420]

Thank you Big.

Guess what? I was just out this weekend and the gentleman I was with DID stand as I left the table, stood as I returned and pulled my chair out and helped push it in. He DID help me in and out of the car. He DID open doors....and yes, he DID pay.

Did I expect him to pay? NO. As a matter of fact he would not ALLOW me to pay.

As for me "putting out". I DO NOT PUT OUT.

If I want to FUCK some dude, then I will FUCK HIM because it will bring ME PLEASURE - and has NOTHING to do WITH HIM PAYING FOR DINNER - DUH!

IT is because of the majority of the responses to my reply (which I KNEW would come so it is ok) that I DO NOT DATE OFTEN.

What the men who think that I THINK that I am above them do not realize is that this has NOTHING to do with it and EVERYTHING to do with the fact that whoever I will be with MUST BE LIKE NO OTHER MAN.....Hello! I have FOUR CHILDREN! Don't you all realize that puts me in a completely different class of women? It has ZERO to do with my tits and ass - and EVERYTHING TO DO WITH MY GIRLS.

I can FUCK on my own time, but when it comes to dating and perhaps a REAL relationship, I must choose VERY WISELY for my children's sake as well as my own.

Am I looking for a "replacement daddy"? HELL NO! First off, I am not LOOKING for anyone and my children HAVE a father. But whomever I do bring to meet my children (if and when I ever do) will have to be unmatched by all others.

PS - My gentleman friend is 35 (NOT 110) - a bodybuilder, drop dead gorgeous, smart, witty and a wonderful dad.....tall, dark, handsome - AND OH MY GOD! His manners in public only pale in comparison to his SKILL in private.

If you got the perfect guy---why the hell are you so pissed off? Christ, I can tell just by your posts. There's nothing wrong with looking out for your kids & wanting the perfect guy to be around them, but that guy doesn't exist. OK, maybe he does, but your chances of finding the 1 out of a billion guys who meets your every standard are pretty slim if none. Its like playing the lottery---somethimes you get 1 number you need, sometimes 4, sometimes 3, or whatever, but how many people out there actually hit the 7 out of 7 jackpot---I.E--they get all the numbers they need?! Its rare, & people who look at finding the perfect partner in these terms are limiting their options BIG time imo. The point is.....You got to be able to accept the "crust" of a mother fucker--as Chris Rock would say.

 

[Bikini Mod]

If you got the perfect guy---why the hell are you so pissed off? Christ, I can tell just by your posts. There's nothing wrong with looking out for your kids & wanting the perfect guy to be around them, but that guy doesn't exist. OK, maybe he does, but your chances of finding the 1 out of a billion guys who meets your every standard are pretty slim if none. Its like playing the lottery---somethimes you get 1 number you need, sometimes 4, sometimes 3, or whatever, but how many people out there actually hit the 7 out of 7 jackpot---I.E--they get all the numbers they need?! Its rare, & people who look at finding the perfect partner in these terms are limiting their options BIG time imo. The point is.....You got to be able to accept the "crust" of a mother fucker--as Chris Rock would say.

Where did you get that I was pissed off? Just because I have standards and am not afraid to express my opinion DOES NOT mean that I am angry..... just passionate. Get it?

And yes, I DO REALIZE that I am limiting myself to ONLY the best. My girls and I deserve nothing less. So, if this means that I only date once in like say, two years - SO BE IT.

....and I DO ACCEPT the "crust" of the motherfucker I am dating. tee-hee - didn't you read the rest of my posts AFTER the one you quoted?

 

[Steroid_Virgin]

Its funny how much peoples standards change "after" they meet the guy/girl of their dreams.. heh heh.. people are so full of shit 99% of the time... you will always mold the behavoirs of the one you are in love with now to the "only thing you'd ever except.." keep living in your dream worlds people.. I used to wonder why there was so much divorce, now I wonder why their isnt more.. People are not perfect, they never will be, if you look for someone who is perfect, after the newness of love wears off, you will be unhappy and looking for that REAL TRUE love you never had.. lolololololol... people call me stupid.. bahaha... fuck this computer gig Im becoming a divorce lawyer.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Dude, my standards changed AFTER I decided to divorce the ex....has NOTHING to do with any guy that I have met since.

Show me where I said that I was looking for perfect? I NEVER said ANYTHING about PERFECT......only THE BEST FOR ME .

What I may see as being a character flaw that I could not live with may hardly even raise your eyebrows and vice versa. As long as the two people involved in the relationship are satisfied and there is an even give and take who is to judge?

I only stated what I DEMAND - not WHAT YOU should demand or even acqueise to.

The characteristics that I am looking for in a partner (NOT HUSBAND) must already be present. I learned my lesson about trying to change someone a looooong time ago.

If the man is broke, he can stay broke 'cause I AIN'T EVEN GONNA TRY TO FIX HIM......don't want NO MORE BROKE MEN - PERIOD.

Is the man in my life perfect? JESUS H CHRIST!....I am waaaaay to grown to even entertain such an idea. I can see and realize his flaws as I am sure he can see and realizes my own. This has NOTHING to do "with love"..... but about friendship, respect, support, loyalty and trust. If we are still together in 50 years time and we still reach out for each others hands as we walk together, whether we are engaged in conversation or merely enjoying each other's presence, then I will feel qualified to discuss the topic of love. Until then, I will settle for those attributes of a relationship that I just mentioned....but I will ACCEPT NO LESS - PERIOD. I would rather be alone and happy then "with someone" and miserable.

 

[roidog420]

AHhhhhhhh Frackal....

You silly, silly, silly boy (you know I wuv you).

The fact of the matter is that just because I expect certain treatment from the man who is in my company DOES NOT MEAN that he does not receive EQUAL TREATMENT from ME!

Pulling out my chair and paying the tab PALE in comparison to what I bring to the relationship..... Hhhhhhm let me see, quick question:

The woman drives 5 1/2 hours/ 6 hours to visit for the weekend....gives (and receives MINDLBOWING SEX that lasts JUST ABOUT THE ENTIRE TIME SHE IS THERE), when not fucking, sucking, or otherwise violating each other in unspeakable ways - there is stimulating conversation, incessant laughing, some tears shed over past hurt, and peaceful slumber that can come only from the comfort of another human being who cares more for the happiness of their partner than for their own desires......just to scratch the surface - repeat every free weekend.

YOU TELL ME if it is NOT equal.

PS - The WOMAN is pleased as punch to have the opportunity to connect to such an amazing man and thinks NOTHING of the distance or the expenditures of time, expense or wear and tear on car, lost sleep, etc. SHE FEELS LUCKY TO BE IN HIS PRESENCE!

.....so you were saying Frack?

Damn Mommy. That was sweet & uhhh.....more than a little arousing! You could be the next Jackie Collins. And No, I didn't get to read your newer posts until right now. I understand where you are coming from & if I knew that standing when a woman leaves the table lead to as much "fucking & sucking"(as you put it)as is going on in your relationship, then I'd be a standing mofo more often. MY point was that most guys(even though they may be well mannered)dont even realize that this is something that a woman MIGHT expect. I consider myself to be extremely well-mannered(at least around women that is), but I wouldn't do this simply because it isn't in my mannerisms to do so. It would look like I'm trying too hard, if you know what I mean. Hey but if your as passionate(not pissed off)in the rack as you are with your posts, then your dude is a lucky guy & more power to him for being sooooooooo polite. Good luck with your long-distance relationship!