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Dating: How do "you" slow things down?

SoreArms

SoreArms

New member
When you start going out with someone, how do you slow things down if you notice the other person is moving a bit too fast, relationship wise? Like if you're just moving casually along but they seem to already be in relationship mode?

I would like to think and say that I would be up front and talk to them about it, but I recently found myself taking the asshole way out by avoiding calls, pretendeing I didn't receive messages, etc.... which I really think is a big vagina move.

I'm usually very upfront about what they should expect from me, I'm not easily attached, but I thought this chick was on the same wavelength as me so nothing of the sort was ever brought up. I thought we were just having casual sex, it turns out she thought we were building something. Oops! Abort! Retreat! I feel bad taking the pussy way out, especially since I know it sucks to be on the other end of it, but thats the way this one went down.

How about you peeps, what have been your experiences in this?
 
Take a few days off from dating/seeing/talking to them..

and like Smutty said, hold off on the bootie calls..
 
I told a guy I was seeing that he needed not to come over after work for a few days because I need a sometime to myself - but that's just what I had meant.

It slowed things down A LOT and that had not been my intention.

Live and learn.
 
Walk around with your cock hanging out of your pants.. that works EVERY time.
 
well.......just be able to not get it up.....



...that seems to do the trick everytime
 
You mean she's seen your tiny penis and she still wants a relationship?

Hmmmm.
 
velvett said:
I told a guy I was seeing that he needed not to come over after work for a few days because I need a sometime to myself - but that's just what I had meant.

It slowed things down A LOT and that had not been my intention.

Live and learn.
Click to expand...

Velvet is right! the i need space or alone time chat is a great way to get your point across and not come off like a dick/bitch.
 
Bor, just tell her you may lose/lost your job. That'll make her stop and consider;)
 
Be honest and upfront, if you feel she's moving too fast let her know, you'll only end up hurting her feelings if you just avoid her. I think most women would appreciate the honesty, I know I would.
 
I just tell them that all I'm interested in right now is a casual relationship. Tell her that you like her but you want to take it slow and see how it goes. They usually get all sad but get over it pretty quick.
 
I've done it both ways, where you spell it out, and with the just not return calls method.
Spelling it out for them is harder, but the right way to go. I've gotten to a point where I will not call someone twice in a row. Cause I'm not going to be the person to chase after someone who's playing games. If I leave a message and don't get a call back, see ya!
 
This happens to me quite a bit actually, and I've never really found an effective way to "slow things down".

Most times I tell them I need space, etc. Then they get pissy and start the drama bullshit - and at that point things are doomed anyway, so I usually hit the eject button.

I should try the stop calling/avoid them routene.
 
Depends on what you want from her.
Sex.
Fun/dating

Think about what you want right now in your life.
Career.............
How do you want her to fit in your life?
Do you want other women?



Take her call and say you are busy if she suggests going out if you do not want to go out with her.












.
 
Last edited:
Just tell her your herpes is acting out this week and you'll check back in next week if and when things have cleared up...

works like a charm.
 
Dirk Howat said:
What girls do is say they are busy and maybe someother night until you get the hint.

Take her call and say you are busy if she suggests going out.
Click to expand...
Damn bor, you callin him a bitch?
 
Lestat said:
Just tell her your herpes is acting out this week and you'll check back in next week if and when things have cleared up...

works like a charm.
Click to expand...



Then she tells all of her hot friends you have a STD and there goes one of your sources.








.
 
If you dump her COLD, make her cry, she will tell all of friends how much of an A hole you are and they will want to date you then.




.
 
Because sometimes I'm upfront and honest and sometimes I'm a big vagina about it, I have experience in both methods. Here's a summary of my findings for you guys trying to decide which method is best for you.

With the honesty route you are on record as in fact saying what you meant. Things will indeed die out soon and most chicks will move on. No biggie since you probably weren't looking for much more than acouple of bangs from the girl anyways.

With the avoidance method, if you are ever in a dry spell, you can always try to call back at a later time with some bullshit excuse like "I was busy" "out of the country" " I was in jail" "I lost your number", etc... and sometimes you can go back for another round or two.

The chicks that are actually cool with just a casual relationship are far in between. Many will say they're OK with it, but eventually they want more.
 
SA.. just be honest! Don't bull shit the girl, if you don't want her the way she thinks you do... tell her.
 
Dirk Howat said:
If you dump her COLD, make her cry, she will tell all of friends how much of an A hole you are and they will want to date you then.




.
Click to expand...


Definite JerseyArt alter.


:lmao:
 
SoreArms said:
With the avoidance method, if you are ever in a dry spell, you can always try to call back at a later time with some bullshit excuse like "I was busy" "out of the country" " I was in jail" "I lost your number", etc... and sometimes you can go back for another round or two.
Click to expand...
Damn dood, I love it! Ok, what should I say to a chick I last talked to about 4 years ago. It was before Iraq, so that wont work.
 
jestros said:
Damn dood, I love it! Ok, what should I say to a chick I last talked to about 4 years ago. It was before Iraq, so that wont work.
Click to expand...
try "in a coma", how could she not show you pitty love after that
 
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