Compulsive liars - do they even realize they are lying?

[alien amp pharm]

I just sent a pretty straight-forward call-out email to one of my friends.

The guy has a lot of acquaintes but no close friends. I have known him for a couple years.

He is always talking, telling stories which are clearly overexaggerated (i.e. bragging). As annoying as that may be I can overlook that, but recently he has been spreading lies about me and other mutual friends which we are slowly but surely catching him on.

This guy seems to me to be a compulsive liar. I had another friend in high school like this and he ended up losing every friend he had due to this crap.

I just can't understand how someone can be this way. Enlighten me please.

 

[Frisky]

its a disease, really it is. I know a few peeps that do the same, and actually come to the point that they actually believe their own lies.

 

[jh1]

Not sure... wonder all the time myself with the bullshit that spews from the bitch.

 

[jnevin]

There was a woman at my last job that did that. She was maybe mid 50's, but if you tallied up all the years that she lived in different places and worked at these amazing other jobs, she'd be over 100. Her best friend since childhood worked there, and would always just shake her head because the story teller really believed what she was saying.

 

[alien amp pharm]

its a disease, really it is. I know a few peeps that do the same, and actually come to the point that they actually believe their own lies.

A scientifically proven disease? Come on now, that sounds like a scapegoat to me.

One has to know truth from fiction and right from wrong.
You can't put truth with wrong and fiction with right
without knowing what you are doing.

 

[Ilk]

I've known someone like that and they came from such a totally dysfunctional family that I think it was learned behavior....

Probably used to cope when they were younger, they make up a different life for themselves in their mind and pretty soon it is as real as the hell they live in.... it is interesting. .. Sad.. he obviously has nothing better to do..

Also the person I knew had a desperation to them, to please others also needed an enormous amount of attention and didn't matter if it was good or bad attention..

Just needed to be the focus at all times... also should consider borderline personality disorders... I always have to wonder at people who are truly complusive.. It could be so many things...

I have also met men who were expert liars and manipulators... could spin a situation so fast and so sincerely it would make your head spin...

The only advice I have is to keep your distance... Those kind of people, esp. with the need for melodrama normally bring chaos to others out of their boredom....

 

[all the whey]

You have a friend?

 

[jh1]

Jan 10th 2007, the Wif: I haven't hung out with Drug Dealer X since November. He scares me, ask my sister.

( I have pictures of a New Years Eve Party, obviously 10 days prior, with her and Drug Dealer X and Drug Dealer Y)

February 22nd 2007
The Wif: I have been really good the last 2 - 3 months, I have steered clear of the wrong people and the wrong things.
JH1: Maybe so, but in the past you have lied to me about who you are associating with and what you are doing - then I find out it's all complete lies.
The Wif: I know and I am sorry for that, I have gotten help and no longer do that.
JH1: Okay, so when was the last time you associated with Drug Dealer X and did coke?
The Wif: I told you, that was in November - my god, can't you let that go... it was 3 months ago.

(I have pictures of her in the 'Cocaine Train' and at parties with Drug Dealer X on New Years Eve, January 15th, and February 1st - and these are just pictures that I was was able to get my hands on - who knows what else is out there.)

 

[blueta2]

Frisk is right, It's a mental disorder to compulsively lie. They do not know they are doing it and believe their own lies.
A former best friend who I knew since I was 5, was really sick with this. I finally walked away from her 18 months ago. We would all catch her in lies and she would deny deny deny. She once told me she went to Europe and met a prince and was going to marry him......true story! By the way, not from a dysfunctional family but she is 41 and still lives at home with her parents.

So sad!

 

[alien amp pharm]

I've known someone like that and they came from such a totally dysfunctional family that I think it was learned behavior

That isn't this guys case. I love his parents. They are good people and have been married 30 some years.

Also the person I knew had a desperation to them, to please others also needed an enormous amount of attention and didn't matter if it was good or bad attention..

Just needed to be the focus at all times... also should consider borderline personality disorders... I always have to wonder at people who are truly complusive.. It could be so many things...

Okay that sounds more like my friend. He is always self-bragging, always talking (about himself) and has to be the center of attention. I know for a fact he has went thru depression.

I have also met men who were expert liars and manipulators... could spin a situation so fast and so sincerely it would make your head spin...

I believe some people flat out lie for personal gain and selfishness. With my friend it seems he lies even when it accomplishes nothing. Like sometimes it's puzzling as to why he'd even lie about certain situations.

 

[all the whey]

Jan 10th 2007, the Wif: I haven't hung out with Drug Dealer X since November. He scares me, ask my sister.

( I have pictures of a New Years Eve Party, obviously 10 days prior, with her and Drug Dealer X and Drug Dealer Y)

February 22nd 2007
The Wif: I have been really good the last 2 - 3 months, I have steered clear of the wrong people and the wrong things.
JH1: Maybe so, but in the past you have lied to me about who you are associating with and what you are doing - then I find out it's all complete lies.
The Wif: I know and I am sorry for that, I have gotten help and no longer do that.
JH1: Okay, so when was the last time you associated with Drug Dealer X and did coke?
The Wif: I told you, that was in November - my god, can't you let that go... it was 3 months ago.


(I have pictures of her in the 'Cocaine Train' and at parties with Drug Dealer X on New Years Eve, January 15th, and February 1st - and these are just pictures that I was was able to get my hands on - who knows what else is out there.)

Sorry bro. But, this is not a good example.

All women lie. Even though they may actually believe they are not.

 

[Sub-Zero]

Sorry bro. But, this is not a good example.

All women lie. Even though they may actually believe they are not.

its true....iv never met a girl/woman who hasnt either lied or completely misconstrued a situation or event, at least once a week

 

[jh1]

Sorry bro. But, this is not a good example.

All women lie. Even though they may actually believe they are not.

WTF? NO KITTY KAT PICTURE RESPONSE FOR THAT??!??!?!??!?!???!?

I am disappointed in you.

 

[alien amp pharm]

Frisk is right, It's a mental disorder to compulsively lie. They do not know they are doing it and believe their own lies.
A former best friend who I knew since I was 5, was really sick with this. I finally walked away from her 18 months ago. We would all catch her in lies and she would deny deny deny. She once told me she went to Europe and met a prince and was going to marry him......true story! By the way, not from a dysfunctional family but she is 41 and still lives at home with her parents.

So sad!

Okay, so if I call him out on lies then give specific examples of him lying, what will he think/do?

It's hard to deny it when it's fact and written in front of him. Do you think he will get mad? Spread more lies about me in revenge?

 

[habitualhealth]

i think they know they are lying but it becomes so compulsive.....to the point where they truly don't know what stems from truth or lies so they just roll with it.


i can not STAND these people. grrrrrrr

 

[all the whey]

WTF? NO KITTY KAT PICTURE RESPONSE FOR THAT??!??!?!??!?!???!?

I am disappointed in you.

I was going to use this one. But, I think you are the guy that said I was creepy, because I have a kitteh pic for every situation.

 

[rykertest]

No I don't....I mean no they don't.

 

[jnevin]

Like Chris Rock said, "Men lie the most, but women are the biggest liars."

 

[rykertest]

I was going to use this one. But, I think you are the guy that said I was creepy, because I have a kitteh pic for every situation.

lol...where do u get all these cat pics?

 

[habitualhealth]

I was going to use this one. But, I think you are the guy that said I was creepy, because I have a kitteh pic for every situation.

i watched the movie blow for the first time last night.

 

[jh1]

i watched the movie blow for the first time last night.

Bye... Bye, Bye, Bye... Bye... Bye... Bye..BYE!

 

[Bikini Mod]

Sorry bro. But, this is not a good example.

All women lie. Even though they may actually believe they are not.

LOL at "all women".

In my language (Hungarian) you dont tell a lie but you "give" a lie. There is a very old expression that goes like this -

"A man is truly poor if he can not even afford to give a lie."


MAN.... not woman.


Lying is not a gender specific character flaw. If anyone believes that they are getting lied to by 50% of the population and never even know it.


As to compulsive liars the answer is simple. No, they are not aware they are lying but actually believe they are telling the truth.

There is no such thing as reality but only perception. You can show a liar a video of their behavior and they will deny it even then saying, "Nah, that wasn't me." or something like "Your camera was busted." or "You photoshopped that."

No use arguing with a liar as you will NEVER gain the satisfaction of "busting them in a lie." They will just deny, deny, deny.

Cut ties and move on, unless you enjoy being vexed.

 

[gonelifting]

I've known one prerson like that. I think he knew he was a liar, but he still did it. I doubt he could control it. noty sure how the hell it happens to people.

He falls under the category of "doesn't help him" lies. "How long did you sleep?"

"Oh, 10 hours..." wtf? He was gone for 6 hours. Some stuid stuff. He would lie so much that you'd stop listening to him after a while. Why sit there and listen to some BS storytelling? It was a little sad. He would change the story as he was telling it to you. Almost stuttering and changing facts... lol Damn...


Oh, there's another guy I worked with. Much smarter than the first, but he lied as well. Anything in the world you topld this guy, he would beat it with a fact of his own. ANYTHING you could possibly say, he would have a bigger badder story to come back with. "I killed 5 guys. "Oh, I killed 6."

Oh I meant I killed 7 guys." Oh, yeah, I mean I killed 8"... dude, you murderer! He too, I started zoning out after a while.

Two different types of liars though. I would stay away from dishonest people. Not a good gamble.

 

[all the whey]

lol...where do u get all these cat pics?

I had them for awhile. I just never had a place to share them. So, that is why I got excited, and went crazy.

I have cut back on posting them, because I think some people are getting tired of them.

 

[Ilk]

That isn't this guys case. I love his parents. They are good people and have been married 30 some years.



Okay that sounds more like my friend. He is always self-bragging, always talking (about himself) and has to be the center of attention. I know for a fact he has went thru depression.




I believe some people flat out lie for personal gain and selfishness. With my friend it seems he lies even when it accomplishes nothing. Like sometimes it's puzzling as to why he'd even lie about certain situations.

Very confusing!

He seems to have some personal issues... Obviously.... But he doesn't really think much of himself and he has to lie about minor things... thats just silly... I've stopped talking to those who lie constantly...

Time wasters...

 

[alien amp pharm]

I had them for awhile. I just never had a place to share them. So, that is why I got excited, and went crazy.

I have cut back on posting them, because I think some people are getting tired of them.

 

[blueta2]

Sorry bro. But, this is not a good example.

All women lie. Even though they may actually believe they are not.

All people lie, not everyone is a complusive liar.
You seem like a women hater?

 

[ksharp01]

I had them for awhile. I just never had a place to share them. So, that is why I got excited, and went crazy.

I have cut back on posting them, because I think some people are getting tired of them.

I think they are cute....did mine show up in your k messages? lol

 

[ksharp01]

my ex husband would exaggrate everything he talked about, everyone knew it because everytime he told a story they were looking to me to get the real facts.

 

[blueta2]

Okay, so if I call him out on lies then give specific examples of him lying, what will he think/do?

It's hard to deny it when it's fact and written in front of him. Do you think he will get mad? Spread more lies about me in revenge?

He will prob not want to talk to you. Like an addict, a complusive liar needs their lies to survive, so if you call him out on his "addiction", he will not deny and walk away from you. Yes he will be pissed!
I am sure he spreads lies about you any way. That is what this sickness is all about.
When I finally called my friend out, she was SHOCKED at how she thought I thought she was a liar. Her last lie was sick and evil and I had it with the her toxic behavior, so I called her out. At that point, I didn't care what she thought or would do, the 35 yr friendship was dead and buried to me!

 

[alien amp pharm]

my ex husband would exaggrate everything he talked about, everyone knew it because everytime he told a story they were looking to me to get the real facts.

See as annoying and senseless as I think that is I can overlook it.

This guy is blaming things on other people who have no idea what is happening.

Lying is one thing, but lying about other people is a bad situation.

 

[Dial_tone]

I have an ex-FB that lies about me all the time. What's weird is that she brings me up out of the blue to lie about shit, when I have nothing to do with the subject she and whoever are talking about. I seriously do not believe she knows where the truth ends and the lies start anymore.

I have a 5-part email being prepared where I will bust her irrefutably on several lies she's told. This should be some funny ass shit. Bitch has no clue how much damage I can do to her anytime I want. I just prefer to take the high road.

 

[alien amp pharm]

He will prob not want to talk to you. Like an addict, a complusive liar needs their lies to survive, so if you call him out on his "addiction", he will not deny and walk away from you. Yes he will be pissed!
I am sure he spreads lies about you any way. That is what this sickness is all about.
When I finally called my friend out, she was SHOCKED at how she thought I thought she was a liar. Her last lie was sick and evil and I had it with the her toxic behavior, so I called her out. At that point, I didn't care what she thought or would do, the 35 yr friendship was dead and buried to me!

Same here...I've suspected/known of his exagerations and lies for a while and tried to overlook them, but there comes a point when you've simply had enough of it.

If I was afraid of losing him as a friend I wouldn't have called him out on it. I told him it was up to him wether or not he chooses to cease this behavior because I am not going to remain friends with a liar.

 

[blueta2]

Here is some good info

Pathological Liar
by Peggy Elam, PhD (see more from this expert)
Help for Histrionic
Personality

People who lie constantly are often called pathological liars. That's not an official clinical diagnosis, which means it's not listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition, or DSM-IV. But chronic lying in adults is often a manifestation of antisocial personality disorder (also known as sociopathy). Sociopaths are often deceitful and manipulative in order to gain personal profit or pleasure.

Sometimes an individual with dissociative identity disorder (DID), formerly known as multiple personality disorder, will deny doing things for which they have amnesia (don't remember). In such situations, the person may have no memory of doing X and swear up and down that it didn't happen. But anyone who actually saw the DID individual engaging in the disputed behavior will believe he or she is just lying. Obviously, the situation is more complicated than that. (Of course, some people with DID can also have sociopathic tendencies and intentionally lie about some things.)


Sometimes an individual with dissociative identity disorder (DID), formerly known as multiple personality disorder, will deny doing things for which they have amnesia (don't remember). In such situations, the person may have no memory of doing X and swear up and down that it didn't happen. But anyone who actually saw the DID individual engaging in the disputed behavior will believe he or she is just lying. Obviously, the situation is more complicated than that. (Of course, some people with DID can also have sociopathic tendencies and intentionally lie about some things.)

DID is treatable with long-term psychotherapy. So is antisocial personality disorder, although such individuals will often not seek out treatment on their own or not follow through on treatment once it begins. (The earlier the treatment occurs, though, the better the chances of success.) Sometimes adults with antisocial personality disorder will be motivated for treatment when consequences of their behavior -- such as legal or financial trouble -- cause them distress.

 

[blueta2]

Pathological liar
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
!)
This article has been tagged since February 2007.

A pathological liar is someone who often embellishes his or her stories in a way that he or she believes will impress people. It may be that a pathological liar is different from a normal liar in that a pathological liar believes the lie he or she is telling to be true—at least in public—and is "playing" the role. He or she sometimes is seen to have a serious mental problem that needs to be rectified.

It is not clear, however, that this is the case. It could also be that pathological liars know precisely what they are doing. Making up stories and at the same time believing them is known as confabulation. The term "pathological liar" is not an official clinical diagnosis however psychiatrists may agree that pathological lying is often the result of a mental disorder or low self-esteem.

Even though pathological lying is not recognized as a clinical disorder, legal court cases often require that you prove that the defendant is aware that he or she is lying. This proof is most important in cases of slander and/or liability. Pathological liars often actually convince themselves that they are telling the truth, which in turn can alter polygraph tests and other questioning.

When caught in a lie, pathological liars tend to become hostile or try to disregard the fact they lied; often playing it off as a joke.

 

[alien amp pharm]

Bitch has know clue how much damage I can do to her anytime I want. I just prefer to take the high road.

Same here. This guy just went thru a divorce and is awaiting a child custody hearing.

I could ruin him bigtime with the things I know and also as a character witness.

I could never do that though....2 wrongs don't make a right.

 

[SoKlueles]

um aap, you always say your penis is big and you say it with a straight face
when everyone has told me that it isnt

i think thats a compulsive liar, you even believe your fibs

 

[Dial_tone]

um aap, you always say your penis is big and you say it with a straight face
when everyone has told me that it isnt

i think thats a compulsive liar, you even believe your fibs

Yeah, well 90% of the women here claim they can deepthroat too. what's your point?

(it ain't deepthroat if the guy is 4" long)

 

[alien amp pharm]

um aap, you always say your penis is big and you say it with a straight face
when everyone has told me that it isnt

i think thats a compulsive liar, you even believe your fibs

True - it isn't big, but like you said everyone has seen it. I've had sex with all of them.

 

[SoKlueles]

True - it isn't big, but like you said everyone has seen it. I've had sex with all of them.

ihavent seen it
but your like my little brother so that would be like.........incest