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Ok let me preface this by saying that I havent slept since 9am Friday morning. So I go to buy all my Christmas presents at the last minute. It is a good way to see what people are really like..."when people stop being polite and starting being REAL!"
A Parking Space ...all I require of a parking space is that it is clearly defined by nice yellow or white lines. Whether it is close to where I am going or not is no big deal. Why are so many people afraid to WALK. Besides they spend 15 minutes, while I walk past them, finding that holy grail of parking spaces. Then when they go to leave I walk past them. As they fight the traffic caused by the vulture that want their parking space I am gone.
*moral of the story: the closer something is to where you are going...the further it probably is from your home*
The Mall ...we all know the "melting pot" of wonderfully exquisite people the mall seems to bring together. Well let me assure you they were out in packs this morning. Hair any color of the rainbow I saw it....most of it belong to one single guy. Pierced this...tattooed that. 115lb "bad ass kids" with lats syndrome and a wife beater. Its amazing to just walk around and LOOK at people. People make me laugh
Couple #1....saw several cases of "asshole and the angel" today. Women like that make me want to scream WAKE UP you are NEVER gonna change him he is just gonna take you down with him. FEMALE QUOTE:"why are you looking for stuff for YOU...aren't we supposed to be shopping for presents for my parents." To which the young gentleman replied with a witty remark that bears no repeating. And she stood there and ate it up...thank you sir can I have another?
Couple #2 fighting..."what are you gonna do if I dont get off that phone....you betta get off that phone...WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO??" You can see where this match made in heaven was heading.....merry christmas folks....to my right you will see a man and a woman fighting over a pay phone....funny part THEY WERE TOGETHER...and there were other phones available....scary part is one of them had a f/n cell phone.
Couple #3 walking...the little waif of a woman was carrying what appeared to be several bags full of overpriced gifts...while her knight is shining armour....was a dashing young caucasian dressed to the nines in baggy jeans and lots of gaudy gold jewelry....he was managing to carry his Mountain Dew around and still glance every mirror he went by...."hey Goose ya big stud"
Perfume....look at me really closely....does it look like I have any intention of EVER buying your product in this lifetime....and the ambush attack combined with sprayin it in my eyes....is not gonna help you pay the rent sweetheart...NO SALE!
Plastic Bags...why was the bag I got for the little desk calender I got my mom as a stocking stuffer....BIGGER...than the bag I got for the 3 DVD's I bought???!
Radio Shack...said in an overly friendly way:" Is that all for you today?"....said in an overly sarcastic as hell tone:"No lady, this pack of batteries which is going to require 2 forms of identification, a blood and sperm sample, and my great-grandmother's middle name is the ONLY thing that I dont want....I want everything ELSE in the store...I was just bringin the batteries up here to you so they wouldn't get mixed in with my rather large purchase.....btw....will you accept a two party, out of state, bad check?
....and just when you think this story is over...remember I still have to get out of the parking lot....after donating to the bell ringer...and all my change didnt go down at first...did she help...hell no....why not...I'm helpin her out by donating my 35cents...why cant she help me?
A Parking Space Part II ...so I go to leave. And I walk waaaaay out to my car...which is very close to the street as I planned. And a man rolls up in his car and asked where I am parked cuz he needs a space. I point it out and he thanks me....I kinda hurry down there....go to back out....and I cant see the oncoming traffic cuz of other cars...you would think the guy that I am bestowing my parking spot too would help.....BAH HUMBUG...so fuck it I got insurance...make it out unscathed...and then the bitch follows me back to about where he stopped me before to try to get a better spot....didnt get it and I looked back and someone had taken my spot....karma is a bitch!
DUBS ....Ford Excursion decked out. Tight ride I have to admit...but that doesnt mean that his time is any more important than any one else. In the distance of 30 feet IN A PARKING LOT...he left a couple sets of skid marks....almost caused 2 seperate accidents...ran up on one curb...and still was waitin in line with the rest of us poor sumbitchs.
Same to ya....some "lady" in a santa hat no less....is in the opposite lane facing me, turning right, as I am about to turn left to get out of the parking lot....the light is red and I cant go cuz traffic is backed up.....so she jumps out of the turning lane 7 cars back and comes to the stop sign opposite me...so I think that she is going to go down to another exit...since she has no turn signal on..and she is no longer in a turn lane...so I of course wave her on....and that bitch cut across a median to get into the lane I was tryin to get into.....Merry Christmas to you.
I apologize for the long rant...but it was a long morning. And the mall was just the first stop...if I told the Sports Authority or worse yet the Wal-Mart part of it....it would get even worse believe me.
A Parking Space ...all I require of a parking space is that it is clearly defined by nice yellow or white lines. Whether it is close to where I am going or not is no big deal. Why are so many people afraid to WALK. Besides they spend 15 minutes, while I walk past them, finding that holy grail of parking spaces. Then when they go to leave I walk past them. As they fight the traffic caused by the vulture that want their parking space I am gone.
*moral of the story: the closer something is to where you are going...the further it probably is from your home*
The Mall ...we all know the "melting pot" of wonderfully exquisite people the mall seems to bring together. Well let me assure you they were out in packs this morning. Hair any color of the rainbow I saw it....most of it belong to one single guy. Pierced this...tattooed that. 115lb "bad ass kids" with lats syndrome and a wife beater. Its amazing to just walk around and LOOK at people. People make me laugh
Couple #1....saw several cases of "asshole and the angel" today. Women like that make me want to scream WAKE UP you are NEVER gonna change him he is just gonna take you down with him. FEMALE QUOTE:"why are you looking for stuff for YOU...aren't we supposed to be shopping for presents for my parents." To which the young gentleman replied with a witty remark that bears no repeating. And she stood there and ate it up...thank you sir can I have another?
Couple #2 fighting..."what are you gonna do if I dont get off that phone....you betta get off that phone...WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO??" You can see where this match made in heaven was heading.....merry christmas folks....to my right you will see a man and a woman fighting over a pay phone....funny part THEY WERE TOGETHER...and there were other phones available....scary part is one of them had a f/n cell phone.
Couple #3 walking...the little waif of a woman was carrying what appeared to be several bags full of overpriced gifts...while her knight is shining armour....was a dashing young caucasian dressed to the nines in baggy jeans and lots of gaudy gold jewelry....he was managing to carry his Mountain Dew around and still glance every mirror he went by...."hey Goose ya big stud"
Perfume....look at me really closely....does it look like I have any intention of EVER buying your product in this lifetime....and the ambush attack combined with sprayin it in my eyes....is not gonna help you pay the rent sweetheart...NO SALE!
Plastic Bags...why was the bag I got for the little desk calender I got my mom as a stocking stuffer....BIGGER...than the bag I got for the 3 DVD's I bought???!
Radio Shack...said in an overly friendly way:" Is that all for you today?"....said in an overly sarcastic as hell tone:"No lady, this pack of batteries which is going to require 2 forms of identification, a blood and sperm sample, and my great-grandmother's middle name is the ONLY thing that I dont want....I want everything ELSE in the store...I was just bringin the batteries up here to you so they wouldn't get mixed in with my rather large purchase.....btw....will you accept a two party, out of state, bad check?
....and just when you think this story is over...remember I still have to get out of the parking lot....after donating to the bell ringer...and all my change didnt go down at first...did she help...hell no....why not...I'm helpin her out by donating my 35cents...why cant she help me?
A Parking Space Part II ...so I go to leave. And I walk waaaaay out to my car...which is very close to the street as I planned. And a man rolls up in his car and asked where I am parked cuz he needs a space. I point it out and he thanks me....I kinda hurry down there....go to back out....and I cant see the oncoming traffic cuz of other cars...you would think the guy that I am bestowing my parking spot too would help.....BAH HUMBUG...so fuck it I got insurance...make it out unscathed...and then the bitch follows me back to about where he stopped me before to try to get a better spot....didnt get it and I looked back and someone had taken my spot....karma is a bitch!
DUBS ....Ford Excursion decked out. Tight ride I have to admit...but that doesnt mean that his time is any more important than any one else. In the distance of 30 feet IN A PARKING LOT...he left a couple sets of skid marks....almost caused 2 seperate accidents...ran up on one curb...and still was waitin in line with the rest of us poor sumbitchs.
Same to ya....some "lady" in a santa hat no less....is in the opposite lane facing me, turning right, as I am about to turn left to get out of the parking lot....the light is red and I cant go cuz traffic is backed up.....so she jumps out of the turning lane 7 cars back and comes to the stop sign opposite me...so I think that she is going to go down to another exit...since she has no turn signal on..and she is no longer in a turn lane...so I of course wave her on....and that bitch cut across a median to get into the lane I was tryin to get into.....Merry Christmas to you.
I apologize for the long rant...but it was a long morning. And the mall was just the first stop...if I told the Sports Authority or worse yet the Wal-Mart part of it....it would get even worse believe me.
