Blonde jokes

[PICK3]

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking......... and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away.......... Florida or the moon?"


The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida?"

 

[PICK3]

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crapin the carburetor"

She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"

 

[PICK3]

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurts wherever she touched it. "Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."

The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed. Then she pushed on her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed on her knee and screamed. Likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream. The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you? "Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."

"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."

 

[PICK3]

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel she was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"

"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

 

[artrius]

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking......... and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away.......... Florida or the moon?"


The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida?"

good one

 

[Y_lifter]

What do a bleached blonde and a 747 jet have in common ?



Both have a Black Box.

 

[PICK3]

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"

"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"

 

[nimbus]

What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?

You only have to punch information into a computer once




Whats the difference between a blonde and a mercedes?


You don't lend the benz out to your friend

 

[Dieselicious]

What do you call a blonde with a nose-bleed.


Full.

 

[cranny]

A blonde is pulled over by a blonde cop. The cop walks up to the window and asks to see her liscence. The blonde in the car says,"what's it look like?" The blonde cop says it's sort of square and has your picture on it. She digs through her purse and sees a compact mirror, looks at it and hands it to the cop. The cop looks at it and says," OK you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."

 

[Sassy69]

Lol.

 

[Sassy69]

A blonde is taking her bartending school exam. Question #3. What goes into a Tequila Sunrise?

The blonde writes "1 oz Vodka, bar mix".

 

[Adrian99]

What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common?

They're both empty from neck up

 

[PICK3]

A blonde is pulled over by a blonde cop. The cop walks up to the window and asks to see her liscence. The blonde in the car says,"what's it look like?" The blonde cop says it's sort of square and has your picture on it. She digs through her purse and sees a compact mirror, looks at it and hands it to the cop. The cop looks at it and says," OK you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

 

[SwolK]

A blonde is pulled over by a blonde cop. The cop walks up to the window and asks to see her liscence. The blonde in the car says,"what's it look like?" The blonde cop says it's sort of square and has your picture on it. She digs through her purse and sees a compact mirror, looks at it and hands it to the cop. The cop looks at it and says," OK you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."

lol

 

[Cutiebaby]

lol

 

[pin]

A blonde was driving down the road and she saw an other blonde out in a field trying to row a boat. The blonde in the car stops and says, "Its blondes like you that give us all a bad name! If I could swim I'd come out there and kick your ass!"