Blonde Jokes

[amaritto]

She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde:

She took the ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

She thought a quarterback was a refund.

She tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.

She thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.

She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde:

She thought Eartha Kitt was a set of garden tools.

She thought General Motors was in the army.

She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.

She thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday.

Under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics."

At the bottom of the application where it says "sign here", she put "Sagittarius."

She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde:

She tripped over a cordless phone.

She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said, "concentrate".

She told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK".

She asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.

She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde:

She studied for a blood test.

She thought she needed a token to get on "Soul Train"

She sold the car for gas money!

When she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.

When she went to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport
Left", she turned around and went home.

She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde:

When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

She thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.

If she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.

She thought that she could not use her AM radio in the evening.

She had a shirt that said "TGIF", which she thought stood for "This Goes In Front.

 

[amaritto]

A plane is on its way to Montreal when a blonde
in Economy Class gets up and moves to the First
Class section and sits down.

The flight attendant watches her do this and
asks to see her ticket. She then tells the
blonde that she paid for Economy and that
she will have to sit in the back.

The blonde replies "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful,
I'm going to Montreal and I'm staying right here!".

The flight attendant goes into the cockpit
and tells the pilot and copilot that there
is some blonde bimbo sitting in First Class
that belongs in Economy and won't move back
to her seat.

The copilot goes back to the explain that
because she only paid for Economy she will
have to leave and return to her seat.

The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful,
I'm going to Montreal and I'm staying right here!"

The copilot tells the pilot that he probably
should have the police waiting when they land
to arrest this blonde woman that won't listen
to reason.

The pilot says "I'll handle this. I'm married
to a blonde. I have learned to speak 'blonde'".

He goes back to the blonde, whispers in her ear,
and without hesitation, she gets up and moves
back to her seat in the Economy section.

The flight attendant and copilot are amazed
and asked him what he said to make her move
without any fuss.

"I told her First Class isn't going to Montreal."

 

[growin']

You can lick the blonde hair in my ass! J/K Where's the love for the fair skinned folks? Must we tease all the time?

 

[amaritto]

You can lick the blonde hair in my ass! J/K Where's the love for the fair skinned folks? Must we tease all the time?

I was born with WHITE hair and was blonde until about 3-4 years ago. The more I shave my head the darker it gets.

 

[ashe]

my personal fav....

How do you drown a blonde?

 

[ashe]

Re: my personal fav....

How do you drown a blonde?

put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of a pool!

 

[growin']

OK amaritto, you're off the hook You know, my hair is getting darker as I age as well. Someday, God help me, I'll be a brunette HEHE