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Are there any gentlemen left?

big4life

Plat Hero
Platinum
If so, what do you think a gentleman is?

People tell me that I'm one. I don't know if I'm a dying breed or what. I see so many people treat others in ways that I would never even think about. Guys that refer to woman as their "bitches". Even in the company of that woman. Guys that have never said the word thank you, to someone waiting on them. Dear god, forget about them holding the door for a woman.
That seems to be a foreign concept now.

Maybe it's a generational thing. I don't know.

What's everyone's opinion?
 
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of course there are gentlemen left. it's all about how you were raised.

you can also make a point that it's not so much gentlemen being a rare breed, but manners and common courtesy becoming rare. Simply holding the door open for somone is rare. I'm not talking about opening the door the door for a stranger, I'm talking about holding it open after you've walked through. Also the ability of saying "thank you" seems to be a hard concept to grasp too in todays society.
 
I think I have a little bit of chivalry in me. I open doors for women, I don't refer to them as bitches. but I don't pay for the first dinner since we are living in an age where everyone is fighting for equality. and yes, I still do send flowers to my best girl friends spontaneously.
 
I try to be a gentle men to everyone. My feelings are..Treat People how you would want to be treated yourself. This goes from strangers all the way to loved ones and relationships.
 
I just notice it among younger guys more than I used to, especialy at the gym. I don't really see too many young guys that act like gentlemen. They seem to want to be like some character they have seen in a movie.

Maybe they will grow out of it.

I hope so.
 
Dammit... my bitch was supposed to be here half an hour ago!!! :D

Seriously though Big... I hear ya' bro. Guy or girl, I hold the door open for anyone if I have a chance. I'm more than polite to people waiting on me, or serving me. The convenient store clerks know me by name... in about a six mile diameter... and no, it's not because I work there!!! I greet people with a hello or good morning. I try to make the world around me a more pleasant one, for myself, and everyone else.

We're a dying breed bro. Plain and simple. People are too selfish now, rush to often, too fast, and simply stated, their dicks.

I'm 25... and my view's are no way normal for people my age.
Chivalry ended years before my time.

Crimson - Well stated, I like to hear other's have that view. When I see people on the street's, I realize they are on their mission in life, therefore they are struggling and that they suffer. I realize that they are somebody's mother, father, brother, sister, or loved one, and they are doing the best they can for everyone involved at the time I see them... and, if I can put a smile on their face, and make them realize the day's not so bad... then I'm happy I got the opportunity to do so.
--
 
The Nature Boy said:
of course there are gentlemen left. it's all about how you were raised.

you can also make a point that it's not so much gentlemen being a rare breed, but manners and common courtesy becoming rare. Simply holding the door open for somone is rare. I'm not talking about opening the door the door for a stranger, I'm talking about holding it open after you've walked through. Also the ability of saying "thank you" seems to be a hard concept to grasp too in todays society.

I agree...I always try to be a gentlemen and as I've told others "I give everybody my respect until they do something to lose it" I do many out of the ordinary things for people frequently and at times some people act selfishly like I was obligated to do these things and that gets to me. Just a simple thank you or a smile would suffice..how hard is that?

I even have had one woman give me shit once for opening a door for her!!
 
I remember reading somewhere that you can tell a lot about a person by how he or she treats service people (waiters, clerks, etc...). I've always found it a remarkably accurate measuring stick.
 
I'd be a pretty good gentleman but I have a serious problem with lust. I concentrate very hard on controlling it though. I am winning this battle mostly by virtue of convincing myself that most women are not worth inspecting. This tactic works better than any others I have tried.

Right now my goal is to look past their exterior for the potential beauty inside. I have always put too much emphasis on looks.
 
I am but I always get taken advantage of and fucked over by EVERY girl I meet so I guess you could say I used to be ;) :mad:

M18
 
gymtime said:
I remember reading somewhere that you can tell a lot about a person by how he or she treats service people (waiters, clerks, etc...). I've always found it a remarkably accurate measuring stick.

and it's a good way to tell how cheap or generous someone is too.
 
gymtime said:
I remember reading somewhere that you can tell a lot about a person by how he or she treats service people (waiters, clerks, etc...). I've always found it a remarkably accurate measuring stick.

I've heard similar advice for women:

If you want to know how a man will treat you in a relationship, watch how he treats his mother.
 
smallmovesal said:
there are apparently very few decent guys i'm learning... those of you who posted above... where are you? i'm looking for ya!

:eyes:

Well, I'm always on the prowl for a nice gal........do you qualify? Please submit at least 5 references and 'niceness' resume to me in triplicate. I'll mull over the material with my aides and get back to you as soon as possible..... thanks :)
 
A gentleman

is polite

He has an understanding of the needs of his communitty, family,

and place in society.

A gentleman knows what he is capable of and is honest with others in big matters as well in small matters.

A gentleman above all knows who he is, and how to actuallize his potential for the betterment of others, and himself.

A gentle man should be caring, gentle, and affectionate to those who are his family members, and loved ones to the most exagerated degree.

not smothering and giving gifts kind of love,

but rather a hand on the shoulder, and a kiss on the cheek kind of love.

this is a Gentlman

this is my Dad
 
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Mdguy said:


Well, I'm always on the prowl for a nice gal........do you qualify? Please submit at least 5 references and 'niceness' resume to me in triplicate. I'll mull over the material with my aides and get back to you as soon as possible..... thanks :)

heehee

1. i made freak show a penis cozy in his favourite green 150 grit sandpaper

2. i stopped teasing boach about the fact that his peepee is still BROKEN

3. my roommate is a pud but i'm too nice to tell him that

4. i haven't posted any skeletons referring to wodin being old in a few days

5. gently trying to get my group project finished by encouraging decisions be made. trust me, it's PAINFUL.
 
big4life said:
If so, what do you think a gentleman is?

People tell me that I'm one. I don't know if I'm a dying breed or what. I see so many people treat others in ways that I would never even think about. Guys that refer to woman as their "bitches". Even in the company of that woman. Guys that have never said the word thank you, to someone waiting on them. Dear god, forget about them holding the door for a woman.
That seems to be a foreign concept now.

Maybe it's a generational thing. I don't know.

What's everyone's opinion?

I think you and I are long lost brothers or related in some way! I hope you don't have my looks though because if you do....I feel sad for you! Being a gentleman started going out of style after our generation, I believe. Not trying to offend the younger ones here! Gentleman ways were taught in school when I was there. It was just part of the system. I guess now they don't teach that style. Anyway, my wife and I are raising to daughters and we are trying our hardest to teach them manners. My oldest daughter is so much like me, it is just downright scary. Whatever I do, she wants to do it too. When the two of us are out and about sometimes I'll ask her to go into the store, post office or some other public place by herself to get something and I will watch her as she enters these buildings and if there is somebody coming in behind or or leaving behind her, she will hold the door for them and just smile and strike up a conversation. Chip off the old block, I guess. I have always answered older people with yes ma'am, yes sir, etc. and we have taught these manners to them and enforce them always. I have had more people comment on my daughters manners and it really makes me feel good. I know we are talking "gentleman ways" here but the same can be said about ladies too. I've been married for fifteen years and I still open doors for my wife. Always greet people with a smile. It goes a long ways.
Good thread big!
 
The Nature Boy said:


and it's a good way to tell how cheap or generous someone is too.

Or rich or poor bro. Your view would be a form of judging. I don't think that's on Omega's list.
--
 
big4life said:



Cool, my first proposal.:)

Yep, as long as I don't have to move to Canada.:cold: :D

Big4life, being the chivalrous person that I am, I will gladly bequeath the honor of dating Smallmovesall to you in order that you can take her hand in marriage. All I ask is that you name your first-born after me and that I can 'do' the bachelorette party :)
 
smallmovesal said:


i'm moving to the US for work... no problems in that dept :)


would you like fries with that, eh? would you like to try our combo meals, eh? they are aboot $3.25
 
Mdguy said:


Big4life, being the chivalrous person that I am, I will gladly bequeath the honor of dating Smallmovesall to you in order that you can take her hand in marriage. All I ask is that you name your first-born after me and that I can 'do' the bachelorette party :)

awww

how did i do on the 5 deeds of niceness?
 
nordstrom said:



would you like fries with that, eh? would you like to try our combo meals, eh? they are aboot $3.25

LOL i don't say aboot or eh... just ask anyone who's spoken with me.

and i can get a visa with design work... if i can find a job. otherwise i'm waiting to move.
 
Seem like when I am a gentlemen I get friggin stomped by a girl. But the moment I have a mean streak I find one go figure.
I'm such a gentlemen that I agreed to grind all over this girl just to make her ex jealous at the club and it worked. But guess what as soon as we got back to her place that mofo blew her phone up all night crying. I just gave up and went to sleep. If i had any idea that was going to happen I would have kept talking to her tall blonde gf who had an indepth disscusion w/me on watching porn and how much she enjoyed it. Oh well
 
oh my i really hate to chime in here but i must give my advice here.

#1 ALL women are insecure..the prettier they are the more insecure

#2 you give gifts, your heart and soul and everything else possible...you see it as showing your love..they see it as just another perk being a chick..you see they get hit on day and night...if the are half way good looking they can get 3 square meals a day, a car, home, cloths ect ect ...that is our faoult not theirs.

#3 the key to your success...don't be mean in a way that makes you look like a dick...BUT just act like if you dont ever see her again it wont bother you one bit....tell her you will call her at 5pm tomorrow but dont...when she calls you just say "sorry i got tied up and forgot" and leave it at that....NEVER act desperate like she is the only one...NEVER let her treat you like shit or like what you do is never good enough...NEVER let her change you...they never want to its just a little power game on their part and if and you fall for it they lose all respect for you and as they should....

#4..bottom line is in todays world there are a so many beautiful women and many that are so emotionally fucked up and will tear you apart if you let them...if you act like you really dont care but are still nice to them but always keeping just a tad on the cold side they will be putty in your hands...its fucked up but it is what it is.


ok now all the women can now bash me but you know damn well its the truth and just what you dont want men to know:D
 
im a throw back, a white knight have you...i am simply a gentleman
 
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smallmovesal said:
mod i loves ya but ask phatchik how she felt when her guy never called when he said he would, etc...

MOD, it's not fun when a guy says he will call you and never does. Or he says that he will come over and then never shows up. You know, it's nice to feel like you are at least a little important instead of a damn afterthought. You know, I don't have to feel like I am the most important thing in their life. But I would like to feel like I matter even a little bit. I am through dealing with assholes. The last week and a half have been hellish because of the crap I have had to put up with. So yes, Smalls is right. It's not a fun feeling.
 
phat have you done or said any of the following to your guy?

tried to change him

make him feel as though he is lacking the qualities you want even though he's not

told him you need space (guys hate that word)

intentionally flirted with another guy in front of him

cut off having sex with him just to mess with his head..( you know that is your true and only power)

tried to make him feel like shit for no reason



you see if you take out your own personal frustrations out on him thinking it will make you feel better it will only make him very bitter towards you....i hate to tell you this but most (not all) but most women really try to take a mans pride away and also using that cold bitch attitude like its all our fault only makes us treat you with less and less respect...you see respect is the key word..you give it ..it will be given back to you....


WOMEN
the more you give the more they take

the more you give the less they respect you


MEN
the more you carry your head up high and show confidence within yourself the women will pick up on this and try so hard to get you...why?...so they can destroy all the above....misery lives company
 
Yes there are gentlemen left....plenty I'm sure....it's just that the jerks stand out so much that the gentlemen don't get mentioned...so to the nice guys a big sloppy kiss to you

:bigkiss:
 
MOD, I never did a damn thing to him. I put up with all his crap. I put up with him not calling. I put up with him standing me up that time. I accepted all his excuses. I never tried to change him or any of the other crap you listed. I'm sorry if I sound really bitchy right now. But I have put up with a lot of crap, and I am just sick of it.
 
one other thing..men in general like women are very low maintance...its a mans world and its will always be that way..its very simple on your part to get all that you want from your man...

just show the poor fucker a little respect..it will go a long way

good luck

disclaimer..this comes from many years of good and bad relationships..many that i fucked up and many that they fucked up....

example:....i was dating a girl..one that was so insecure it was brutal...was trying to change my ways that i've been set in for many many years now....one friday i told her it was poker night and i would not be able to see her but i would call her after the game...i didnt...so she left me a message saying she never wanted to see me again that i must have been fucking around since i didnt call her....

so i left her a message and i was very nice...i said i'm sorry you feel that way and it got late so i didnt want to wake you ( i just didnt want to call her ) so i said i hope there are no hard feelings and i wish the best.....FUCK this drove her insane..she called crying sayon she was sorry and can we work it out...i said no...point being quit trying to control us ,


shit i could go on forever...you wonder why you see so many hot chicks with ugly guys?...cuz they are so insecure it makes them feel the ugly guys wont cheat on them....oh and did you ever first meet a guy who was in shape and dressed to the T?..you loved it right and wanted that guy?..so after you get him then you start complaining that he is working out too much...thats all he cares about...why are you going out dressed up?...now you want that stud to turn into a dud...LOL ring a bell
 
I even showed him respect MOD. Pink is right. Someone has a chip on their shoulder. ANd I have nothing against you. So I am not going to get all bitchy at you. It's the situation that pisses me off.
 
PHATchik said:
MOD, I never did a damn thing to him. I put up with all his crap. I put up with him not calling. I put up with him standing me up that time. I accepted all his excuses. I never tried to change him or any of the other crap you listed. I'm sorry if I sound really bitchy right now. But I have put up with a lot of crap, and I am just sick of it.

well phat it goes both ways...you let him disrespect you, you now gave him the power because you probably felt it was your fault and get trying to do anything to make him make you feel wanted....i'm sorry if i made it sound so one sided...guys can be real pricks as well....i say dump the fucker and move on instead of wasting precious time....i can promise you he will never be the person you want him to be...the respect is gone..once that is gone you have nothing....


here is a little story..now keep in mind to this day i'm the most giving and caring person...i'm just a lot more cautious to whom i give that to...


i dated a girl several years back....very stunning, she was a news reporter in az....i live in ca and would travel there...she was devorced one year when i met her,...she was married to one of the richest guys in the state....her dad died and she had to borrow the money from a freind to may for his funreal..she harped on this all the time what a bastard he was for not giving the money and she was right....well now we were taking a break trying to decide if we will break up, keep dating or maybe get married..then my dad died and she knew how close i was....one of her friends told her....she never called or even sent a card...how ironic and sad..i worshiped the ground she walked on and she couldnt even pick up the phone to say sorry to hear about your dad....finally after 3 weeks i just had to know why..she said she was busy and was meaning to call....


never spoke to her again
 
PinK233 said:
Someone has quite a chip on their shoulder

i dont have a chip i just tell it like it is...the sad thing and it goes for both sexes and that is people can only think of themselves...

ps..you still have nice teeth even though you think i have a chip on my shoulder..

pss...supergirl will tell you i'm a nice guy....i met here when i was in NY and i could also tell she had a warm heart...


peace
 
Yea MOD, like I said, I put up with his crap. I am through with it though. I am sick of him and everything he put me through. He is out of my life as far as I am concerned. I don't want to deal with him anymore. So trust me, he is my past. Right now, I know I sound very bitter. And I am.

And I am so sorry about that girl you dated. That was so wrong how she treated you. You deserved a lot better.
 
First of all, let me say... MOD I think you're insane. :) You seem like you've put up with a lot of crap yourself, and it's obviously twisted your mind. lol

Games in any relaionship are bullshit. All that talk about power is bullshit. If two people are mature enough to work things out like adults, the petty crap never comes into play. Not usually anyway. :)

Phatchik makes a very valid point -- It's important to feel wanted.

I may not be Cassinova or Don Juan, but the one thing I've noticed that holds constant with all women is they want to feel appreciated. It doesn't have to be grand...a small gesture is all it takes sometimes.

I prefer to take a more obvious route and perform oral sex for a few hours, but a phone call works too. :D
 
PHATchik said:
Yea MOD, like I said, I put up with his crap. I am through with it though. I am sick of him and everything he put me through. He is out of my life as far as I am concerned. I don't want to deal with him anymore. So trust me, he is my past. Right now, I know I sound very bitter. And I am.

And I am so sorry about that girl you dated. That was so wrong how she treated you. You deserved a lot better.

phat,

consider me on your side on this one but dont you think in the back of your mind that you set yourself up with all this crap?....you keep stating that you kept putting up with all his crap....like i said you let him take away your self-esteem so it became a game to him..a power game over you....i dont know all the facts so i'm only guessing here..but i bet shortly after he started treating you this way if you just walked away and told him you didnt want to be with him again..he would have come running back with his tail between his leg...trust me NOBODY is worth playing these games...


my guess is you are still feeling its your fault or there is something wrong with you for him to treat you this way...fact is there are so many self-ceneted fucks in this world only wanting to suck the life out of you and move on to the next victim...
 
Taps said:
First of all, let me say... MOD I think you're insane. :) You seem like you've put up with a lot of crap yourself, and it's obviously twisted your mind. lol

Games in any relaionship are bullshit. All that talk about power is bullshit. If two people are mature enough to work things out like adults, the petty crap never comes into play. Not usually anyway. :)

Phatchik makes a very valid point -- It's important to feel wanted.

I may not be Cassinova or Don Juan, but the one thing I've noticed that holds constant with all women is they want to feel appreciated. It doesn't have to be grand...a small gesture is all it takes sometimes.

I prefer to take a more obvious route and perform oral sex for a few hours, but a phone call works too. :D

yep i've put up with a lot of crap and been in phat's shoes many times..it hasnt "twisted" my mind ...it has made me understand that many people out there are very unhappy inside
 
M.O.D said:


phat,

consider me on your side on this one but dont you think in the back of your mind that you set yourself up with all this crap?....you keep stating that you kept putting up with all his crap....like i said you let him take away your self-esteem so it became a game to him..a power game over you....i dont know all the facts so i'm only guessing here..but i bet shortly after he started treating you this way if you just walked away and told him you didnt want to be with him again..he would have come running back with his tail between his leg...trust me NOBODY is worth playing these games...


my guess is you are still feeling its your fault or there is something wrong with you for him to treat you this way...fact is there are so many self-ceneted fucks in this world only wanting to suck the life out of you and move on to the next victim...

I always called him on his crap. And then I left him alone for a while. I made him call me back after he would pull this crap. I would rarely call him if he was supposed to call me and simply didn't. But in a way, maybe you are right. I put up with way too much from him and let him think he could get away with it. That was my own fault.
 
PHATchik said:


I always called him on his crap. And then I left him alone for a while. I made him call me back after he would pull this crap. I would rarely call him if he was supposed to call me and simply didn't. But in a way, maybe you are right. I put up with way too much from him and let him think he could get away with it. That was my own fault.

hey i know it hurts inside...a hurt like no other....its hard to let go but you really need to becuase its only eatting away at you....if im not mistaken you started a thread about this over a week ago and your still talking about it.....you have to let go...fuck this guy


never ever let anyone disrespect you
 
M.O.D said:


hey i know it hurts inside...a hurt like no other....its hard to let go but you really need to becuase its only eatting away at you....if im not mistaken you started a thread about this over a week ago and your still talking about it.....you have to let go...fuck this guy


never ever let anyone disrespect you

Thanks hun. I'm going to try to get some sleep. Night all.
 
OMEGA said:
A gentleman

is polite

He has an understanding of the needs of his communitty, family,

and place in society.

A gentleman knows what he is capable of and is honest with others in big matters as well in small matters.

A gentleman above all knows who he is, and how to actuallize his potential for the betterment of others, and himself.

A gentle man should be caring, gentle, and affectionate to those who are his family members, and loved ones to the most exagerated degree.

not smothering and giving gifts kind of love,

but rather a hand on the shoulder, and a kiss on the cheek kind of love.

this is a Gentlman

this is my Dad


That was beautiful.
My God I'm all welled up - :bawling:


excuse me.......
 
M.O.D said:


shit i could go on forever...you wonder why you see so many hot chicks with ugly guys?...cuz they are so insecure it makes them feel the ugly guys wont cheat on them....oh and did you ever first meet a guy who was in shape and dressed to the T?..you loved it right and wanted that guy?..so after you get him then you start complaining that he is working out too much...thats all he cares about...why are you going out dressed up?...now you want that stud to turn into a dud...LOL ring a bell


a-fuckin-men my brother
 
M.O.D said:
good luck and sorry if i came off the wrong way..i wish you all the best.

:angel:

Thanks. Sorry if I was witchy to anyone last night. I'm feeling kinda better today. Not a whole lot, but better. I am going to a relaxation program tonight that one of my friends is sponsoring. Lol. Let's hope it helps. I need it. :angel:
 
it sadly works both ways....ive been on the recieving end of mind games before.....

sometimes it is easier just to walk away. that kind of behaviour is unnacceptable whether it is directed to a lady or a gentleman...its can just be hard to let go
 
you know good ane well... chivalry is not dead... it's actually alive and well... and in my pants... that is all.
 
smallmovesal said:


i know babe... sometimes you just have to do it though. trust me.

i had a frind once. her guy treated her like shit. she was v.attractive, a v.nice person...ya know, her shit didnt stink. any time he fucked up, he'd manage to worm his way back into her life, and she would LET him. she had talked previously about how she hated me like this, yet whenever he did something out of order to her (i.e. making her pay for his transport?!?) she would just take it

when he finally did something REALLY bad to her (revealed sexual secrets of her the night he attempted and failed [:)] to take her virginity, she let him go.

its taken him 2years to get his life back on track as a result of the break up. she's doing fine and travelling the world

i am currently awaiting the doing well and travelling the world phase to happen to me :( :D :p
 
Re: Re: Are there any gentlemen left?

ShadowKnight said:


Yes, we are still in existence. Difficult to find though - we are the ones that aren't playing games.

SK

Lol. Yes, that's true. You are difficult to find.
 
PHATchik said:


Hey, like I have told you before. There is always Tennessee. :)

:devil:

im not difficult to find :)......just difficult to get to :D
 
PHATchik said:


Then we just have problems. :mix:

im good at resolving problems :D
 
YES MA'AM ;) :p ;)
 
danielson said:


i had a frind once. her guy treated her like shit. she was v.attractive, a v.nice person...ya know, her shit didnt stink. any time he fucked up, he'd manage to worm his way back into her life, and she would LET him. she had talked previously about how she hated me like this, yet whenever he did something out of order to her (i.e. making her pay for his transport?!?) she would just take it

when he finally did something REALLY bad to her (revealed sexual secrets of her the night he attempted and failed [:)] to take her virginity, she let him go.

its taken him 2years to get his life back on track as a result of the break up. she's doing fine and travelling the world

i am currently awaiting the doing well and travelling the world phase to happen to me :( :D :p


great story... empowerment is key.

and karma :)
 
smallmovesal said:



great story... empowerment is key.

and karma :)

what cracked me up is he was going to 'dump' her the next day, and when she kicked him it REALLY messed with him and screwed up the rest of his already screwy life (she picked em well :D)
 
Damn...what does it take for folks to figure out that if someone does not treat you properly...you got to space them out???

I think I have spaced out 3 out of every 4 women I have dated simply because they tried to fuck with my head. Why put up with that???
 
M.O.D said:
oh my i really hate to chime in here but i must give my advice here.

#1 ALL women are insecure..the prettier they are the more insecure

#2 you give gifts, your heart and soul and everything else possible...you see it as showing your love..they see it as just another perk being a chick..you see they get hit on day and night...if the are half way good looking they can get 3 square meals a day, a car, home, cloths ect ect ...that is our faoult not theirs.

#3 the key to your success...don't be mean in a way that makes you look like a dick...BUT just act like if you dont ever see her again it wont bother you one bit....tell her you will call her at 5pm tomorrow but dont...when she calls you just say "sorry i got tied up and forgot" and leave it at that....NEVER act desperate like she is the only one...NEVER let her treat you like shit or like what you do is never good enough...NEVER let her change you...they never want to its just a little power game on their part and if and you fall for it they lose all respect for you and as they should....

#4..bottom line is in todays world there are a so many beautiful women and many that are so emotionally fucked up and will tear you apart if you let them...if you act like you really dont care but are still nice to them but always keeping just a tad on the cold side they will be putty in your hands...its fucked up but it is what it is.


ok now all the women can now bash me but you know damn well its the truth and just what you dont want men to know:D
Damn MOD...you have spending too much time with too many different women. Seems that high experience levels tends to jade people on the opposite sex.
 
smallmovesal said:
there are apparently very few decent guys i'm learning... those of you who posted above... where are you? i'm looking for ya!

:eyes:
I know a lot of decent guys. We tend to travel in packs but are hesitant to make the first move on hotties like you
 
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